All mothers disappoint, pro-choice feminism, leaning into the threat
Title: Kill Daddy: Reproduction, Futurity, and the Survival of the Radical Feminist by Mairead Sullivan
As accusations of communism are leveled towards expressions of the most basic social services or even human empathy, I find myself not wanting to decry or make fun of the accusers for their tactical ignorance, but wanting to lean in. Yeah, I am. So what? Would this not work better to deflate these accusations? The conversation is being led there anyway, might as well gain control of it. I'm boggled by why this isn't a more common tactic until I remember, of course they're not. Yet, when it comes to feminism, I found myself repeating the same trap upheld by two factors: my attraction to men and my (hard worked at, might I add) desire to respect children. I considered these two factors emblematic of my growth as a nuanced and complex person. Things I had to work at and through to control my previous impulses of "fuck all men" and "I hate kids". I considered the resistance I still feel around my new, evolved stances to be an example of first thought instead of authentic thought. I also struggled to reconcile both of these with my complete disdain of motherhood.
Lately I've been asking myself how is motherhood compatible with feminism when it's one of the biggest forms of control and exploitation under the capitalist system. If we follow (and I remember correctly) Federici, it's the primitive accumulation of human capital. Current trends also support this with the attacks on birth control and bodily autonomy, and popularity of trends of return like tradwifery and the "divine feminine". And if the thing about women losing gray matter during pregnancy is actually true, I cannot in any way rationalize support for anything that reduces women's cognitive capabilities in the AI era that is desperate to strip all of us of our critical thinking skills. It's first in Sullivan's article here that I encounter the concept of futurity, namely, reproductive futurity.
To be blunt, I don't give a fuck about the future, I give a fuck about the now. The next century is my responsibility only insofar that it's impacted by my stewardship of the present. I concern myself with the next decades, next year, next week. Tomorrow. I care about the future through my concern of making sure we get through the night. I cannot be brought to develop concern for lowering birth rates (being manipulatively marketed as low fertility rates) when feminicide surges. I cannot be compelled to desire motherhood when I see what it did and does to the mothers I know. How--if I can allow myself a tad of selfishness that is actually unmet needs--mothers, both mine and others, fail me to tend to their (other) children. How the village that they do not have also reduces my own. Motherhood (and parenthood in general) is a deeply violent act of selfishness. It's the ultimate infringement on consent. It's forsaking the people we have for those that don't need to exist. It steals the women I love and respect from me. I crave being an aunt, and the maternal role that comes with it, because I see it as the only path to maintain these women in my life.
I'm fascinated by Sullivan's breakdown of the Child and how aptly it analyzes the popular decry of "think of the children!" utilized to shove the public towards the right-wing on any and every subject. I'm also intrigued at how it's most often leveled at trans people and how TERFs seem to have appropriated radical feminism, at least in the mainstream. It's difficult to talk of radical feminism these days without having to disavow TERFism, to the point of almost poisoning radical feminism as a whole. It's an intriguing evolution? corruption? of the sinthomosexual, if that can even be said given how TERFs ultimately serve the patriarchal capitalist system by painting women as defenseless and in need of protection by that very same system.
The other popular, contemporary example of radical feminism that comes to mind is the 4B Movement in South Korea, which feels more faithfully aligned to the ethos of radical feminism and the sinthomosexual figure of the radical feminist that spooks. I'll have to look more into the Movement, as I have only heard those ideas in passing (there was a graffiti that read [translated from Spanish and my memory] "sex strike until they stop killing us" near a coffee shop I used to frequent) and as hyperbole, but not as serious topic of discussion. The hyper-emphasis on safe motherhood, reproductive rights, and pro-choice forces the radical feminist out of most contemporary feminist spaces. Although important initiatives because of their goal of safeguarding women's health and dignity, it's the pro-choice part that keeps nagging at me. Is choice feminism not generally understood, by most serious feminists, as, at best, a misunderstanding of the cause? My inclination to call myself pro-abortion instead of pro-choice (which happens to be the standard nomenclature in Spanish, interesting) is electrified with understanding. I begin to recognize my political home. Nominal? linguistic? determinism, etc. etc.
Sullivan presents the radical feminist as a sintomosexual figure and a threat. I wonder, in the era of pink pussy hat Women's Marches and No Kings Day protests that are mere pressure release valves rather than the threats that marches could (and imho, should) represent, how can the figure of the radical feminist be brought back into popular consciousness? Does the current social regression not present a fertile ground for this figure to rise again beyond its bastardizations by transphobia? Do we have to wait until birth rates begin to reach true "crisis", as they did in South Korea? Is the feverish natalist propaganda a sign of the threat actually working?
















