some interesting (tbh sad) side effects of being a twin:
it is very very common for twins to have individuality complexes, that is feeling the need to establish themselves as an individual and kind of obsessing over it. being an identical twin surprisingly has a lot of negative impact on mental health in my experience.
put aside my relationship with my sister. we are best friends and i love her with all my heart. itās factors external from us that cause this negative impact.
my entire life, people havenāt been able to tell us apart (my immediate family can, so iām lucky). this doesnāt seem like the biggest deal, but this causes two things to happen constantly: comparison and grouping us together.
comparison between my sister and i has hurt me many times in my life. for some reason, people think they can say anything to us. when people meet us (or any time we see someone we know who canāt tell us apart, really) in an attempt to tell us apart, they ask Whatās the difference. the thing is WE DONT KNOW. we just donāt think we look that alike! we donāt have a cheat code to help you tell us apart. but this causes people to immediately start listing the differences between us. iāve been told i have a fatter face MANY times, people have pointed out acne MANY times, people have told us that one is prettier, one is fatter, one has a bigger nose, one has squintier eyes, one has dark circles under their eyes, one has a pointy chin, oneās funnier, oneās nicer, oneās smarter. you name it. this constant comparison makes my heart drop every time. itās like, you would never compare two people like that in any other circumstance because ITS HURTFUL. i donāt exist for people to just pick apart like that. and this can be something that happens MANY times a day, especially at a family event or in a big group.
the next thing is grouping. people group everything we do into the actions of one person. it makes it feel like people just donāt care about me as an individual. and to be honest, a lot of the time they donāt. people always say āyouāre basically the same personā or that they just donāt care to tell us apart. it hurts me, because they just donāt care about me as a person, they only see me as some sort of cool anomaly.
people almost never can tell us apart, so they never know what name to call us. this causes people to either call us āX or Yā or just a mix of both names, OR, the most common one, just not calling us by any name. i didnāt even notice it until i was older, but outside of my house i am almost NEVER called by my name. can you imagine how depersonalizing that can feel? i have certain friends who can tell us apart who took years to be able to. at least they tried though!!! theyāre my friends because they cared enough to try. they all said they could just tell after a while just by getting to know us.
i have a few friends who have been able to tell us apart since they met us. nothing has ever been so touching to me. i had this one moment when someone called me by my name, just casually, like anyone elseās, and it honestly made me happier than anything else in the world. i could cry at the idea of it. how strange it must seem to be so touched by someone knowing your name.
so yeah, these are things that have affected me my whole life. being a twin is very special, but people honestly make it a struggle.
tldr: being a twin causes identity issues and depersonalization
izzy806
kaledo-art
theartofmadeline
jacobvanloon
