you don't really read into my melancholia

florence - 23 - a pathological people pleaser

[lavenderbradshaw]

Swift September!

Hi! Okay, so I had a little fun thought. If you look at my profile, you'll notice my wicked love for Taylor Swift. 9/10, the things I write are inspired by her lyrics. SO! I thought I'd compile a list of lyrics that I'd love to write to and let y'all pick what you want to see.

I'll do these all throughout September, so please send in stuff! (No, seriously, I’m genuinely desperate)

If there's a lyric here you'd like to see, send it in an ask. If there's a character from Top Gun you'd like to see it with, add that, too! If there’s no character, I will pick, so be warned! If there's a lyric I haven't included (and it's Taylor Swift) please send it! Also, combos are so totally acceptable!

They'd just be pretty short blurbs, quick little scenes. But they all do have the possibility of becoming something someday ;)

-

SMUT

i feel the lavender haze creepin' up on me

you know i'm not a bad girl, but i'd do bad things with you

i said, 'no one has to know what we do', his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room

i could see you in your suit and your necktie, pass me a note saying 'meet me tonight'

the altar is my hips, even if it's a false god

lord, save me, my drug is my baby

devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes, what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

'cause all the boys and their expensive cars, the range rovers and their jaguars, never took me quite where you do

ANGST

you drew stars around my scars, but now i'm bleeding

losing him was blue like i'd never known

from sprinkler splashes to fire place ashes, i gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this

you're not gone, you can't be gone, no

she would've been such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head

maybe i was naive, got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance

crawling up the beaches now, 'sir, i think he's bleeding out', and some things you just can't speak about

tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when i lose my mind

is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything, or do you just not want to?

last night i heard my own heart beating, sounded like footsteps on my stairs, six months gone and i'm still reaching, even though i know you're not there

i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want just not home

i pulled your body into mine every god damn night

the idea you had of me, who was she? a never needy, ever lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you

if our love died young, i can't bear witness

FLUFF

you are the best thing that's ever been mine

there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

i'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans, that's my man

if you were here, we'd laugh about their vacant stares but for now, my time is theirs

there's a chain 'round your throat, piece of paper where i wrote 'i'll wait for you'

i once believed love would be black and white, but it's golden

i'm so thankful for all of the girls you loved before, but i love you more

MISC

**anything from this category might need a little more vision from the requester**

i can feel the flames on my skin, crimson red paint on my lips, if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing

how's one to know, i'd meet you where the spirit meets the bone

all the liars are calling me one, nobody's heard from me for months

[lavenderbradshaw]

drop this sunflower 🌻 into the inboxes of the blogs that make you happy! lets spread a little sunshine ☀️

I just saw this, so I'm very sorry I neglected to answer it until now. But this made me way too happy, thank you so much

[lavenderbradshaw]

It's Me, Hi!

heyyy.... how y'all doinnn...

SO its been a while. I miss being on here, I miss writing SO badly. I can't promise anything, but I'm trying my best to work on things slowly again.

My health rn sucks, which is disheartening, but I think I've finally hit some sort of plateau with it where I have learned how to somewhat function. So, fingers crossed, that means I can write some?

Also, tell me why I just logged in to 18 messages from sex bots?? Ummmm.....

[lavenderbradshaw]

I feel so so so yucky today. 2024, please treat me better, I’m begging

[yardsards]

hey, can my cat stay on your blog for a little while?

i'm going out of town for the night and could use someone to watch her

[yardsards]

thank you, everyone

[yardsards]

oh jeepers, if i'd known she'd be travelling around this much, i'd've given her her leash

make sure to hold on tight to her, okay?

[lokimobius]

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS TAYLOR SWIFT: THE ERAS TOUR dir. Sam Wrench (2023)

[tayloralison]

Drawin' hearts in the byline.

[lavenderbradshaw]

What if I just talked for 17 years about every thought I’ve ever had about Bucky Barnes? I swear to god I’m THIIIIIS close

[lavenderbradshaw]

you're losing me | J.H.S

I'm not entirely sure what this is, just a little piece of something that's been in my Drive for a while, something I wanted to post just to see if anyone would like to see the full thing? Anyway, thanks for reading!

--------

"How long?"

It was a fair question, I thought, that I was asking. But, instead, Jake just stares at me, eyes wide.

"What?" He whispers, voice cracking. "Nessa... I didn't cheat on you."

"That's not what I'm asking," I sigh, shaking my head, standing. The flowers that were sitting next to me, a bundle of carnations, fall from the couch.

"I don't understand-"

"I know you don't," I say, eyes narrowing. I shake my head slowly, eyes bouncing around the room. Everything looks different, suddenly. Darker, smokier, I almost can't even see Jake, and it freaks me out for a second. It's only when I blink and something warm runs down my cheek do I realize I'm crying.

[wouldvebeensweet]

I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy, and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier

[chaesong-hwa]

my heart won’t start anymore (stop ‘cause you’re losing me)

[babyrooster]

[sarahsmi13s]

They are sick and twisted for this(1)

1. “this” -> being so damn attractive

[lavenderbradshaw]

Mmmm mmmm mmmm

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

???????????

[capnsaltsquid]

... I can't be the only one seeing this.

[lavenderbradshaw]

Oh the Italian in me is seizing rn what HAPPENED

[lavenderbradshaw]

Tim McGraw 💜

[mamachasesmayhem-deactivated202]

Glen killing my ovaries with the dog dad content 🫠😍

via Instagram

@startrekfangirl2233 @cassiemitchell @desert-fern @thedroneranger

[lavenderbradshaw]

No fr how do I make him a real dad too bc—

[sarahsmi13s]

sarah! babe! congrats on the big 400. if anyone deserves it, it's your sweet soul!

ok my (first?) request is obviously Iceman because we all know what era I'm in. I 1000% need this to survive, just so you're aware.

"Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"

Pumped for you and can't wait to see what you churn out for this even! Big love! <3

i'm so so sorry it took me so long to get to this girl! thank you so much for celebrating with me!

pairing: tom 'iceman' kazansky x kerner!reader warnings: language, smut, unrequited but requited love, let me know if i missed any word count: ~1.5k a/n: i will most likely expand further on this in the future once i've caught up on some other works ❤❤ prompt: "is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"

Why did your brother have to invite his pilot on your family trip? His incredibly hot, but annoying pilot.

Though, he was your big brother… it was his job to get under your skin.

You had originally had a beach trip planned with your friends, but a storm rolled in the day you were scheduled to leave and your friends decided it would be better to reschedule. So after you did that, you headed up to the mountains with the idea to surprise your family.

And that’s how you ended up walking in on… this.

“Ummm, is there a reason you’re naked in my bed, Tom?” 

You tried to avoid looking directly at him, even though your brain had taken a photo of the sight before you could look away. 

“Your bed? Last I checked this was my room.” 

He stayed in the same position on the bed as he looked you over, not at all embarrassed about being completely exposed. His head rested against his arm, the other draped over his sculpted abdomen. 

You didn’t respond, afraid you’d stutter and embarrass yourself further than the obvious blush covering your face and neck.

“You gonna stand there with the door wide open or come in and close it?”

You chose the latter and tossed your bag down before closing the door. “You know, this is actually my room, considering it is my family's cabin. This has been my room since I was 7.” 

Tom scoffed a bit and propped himself up on his elbows, “And last I checked, you were supposed to be at Myrtle Beach.” He got up, securing a blanket around his waist to give you the opportunity to actually look at him. “Which is why I’m in here and not sharing a room with your brother.”

You crossed your arms and focused on his blue eyes, which didn’t actually help you at all. The icy orbs causing your thoughts to just slip out of your mind. 

“W-well, there was a storm that was gonna last a few days, so we-we rescheduled.” You mentally kicked yourself. You sounded so unsure of what you had just said. And it had been the truth.

Tom tilted his chin up, his sly expression already telling you he didn’t believe you.

You scoffed and picked your bag up, “You know what, I’m just gonna sleep on the couch.”

As you hand touched the door knob, Tom’s hand covered yours, “Wait…” You brushed his hand off, “It’s fine, Ice.” You opened the door, “I’ll sleep on the-” 

Tom’s large hand pushed the door shut, holding it closed. “You’ve never called me by my call sign before.” 

You kept your back to him, “Sure I have.”

“No, I would remember.”

“Why is that something you would remember? I’m sure I’ve said plenty of memorable things.” He got close to your ear, “Because you’re the only person I prefer to call me Tom.” 

Ice practically purred the sentence into your ear. The gravel in his voice came from deep in his chest, causing it to rumble against your back. 

You let out a shaky breath, your face heating up, “This isn’t funny Ice. If you’re trying to get back at me for something, can’t you like dump ice on me while I’m in the shower or throw me in the lake while I’m fully clothed? Just don’t do this…” 

“Y/N-” “I’m already embarrassed, please don’t rub it in.”

He rested a hand on your shoulder and carefully turned you around, making you look at him. “I’m not, I swear.”

You didn’t look him in the eye, afraid that if you did he would just laugh at you. 

Tom sighed and tilted your chin up, “I know how you feel about me. You’re not good at hiding it…” You closed your eyes, hating the vulnerable position you're in because your body is on fire. “And maybe I’m too good at hiding it.” 

Your eyes shot open, looking directly in his icy blue eyes in search of the truth – trying to find that harsh critical glaze that waited for you to slip up, for you to make the mistake. 

But it was gone, the glacier of his irises had melted and all you saw was oceans – warm, loving oceans. Any trace of Iceman was gone, melting away to show Tom Kazansky.

He’d hidden his feelings for too long, he needed you to know. Your brother told him the day he invited him out on this trip, he should tell you because he was tired of seeing your love sick gaze on his pilot before watching it turn sad when he got hit on. And he had planned to, but you announced your plans to go to the beach and his plan got shot down.

But now here you were chest to chest as he confessed his feelings for you in nothing but a blanket. 

“Kiss me,” you said breathlessly, lids drooping as you looked from his eyes to his lips.

He grinned and pressed his lips to yours, cupping the side of your neck as he pressed you into the door and made you drop your bag.

That hand immediately buried itself in his hair, the other trying to pull him closer by the small of his back. He locked the door with his free hand before pulling you in by the belt loop of your jean shorts, not caring if his blanket fell.

You pushed away from the door, to go towards the bed, but he pushed you up against the wall. With the movement, the blanket fell from his waist 

You pulled back from him, panting as you looked down, “I feel overdressed now.” He smirked and his hands went to the button on your shorts, “I can fix that.”

His lips attached to your neck as he worked your button loose and pushed your zipper down. His teeth nipped at your pulse point, drawing a quiet moan from your lips as your shorts were hastily pushed to the floor. 

Tom wasted no time pulling away and getting on his knees to pull your underwear down your legs. 

Panting, you peel your shirt off and undo your bra clasp. You looked down as Tom began to kiss your thighs, nipping every other kiss. But before he could lift your leg over his shoulder, you tilted his chin up.

“As good as you most likely are, I need you inside me.” 

“Shit~” He groaned before standing and pushing you flush with the wall, kissing you deeply before pulling away. His hands went to the backs of your thighs, “Jump.”

You don’t hesitate and jump, wrapping your legs around him. “Please Tom~”

He smirked before bringing his thumb to your clit, rubbing languid circles as he lined himself up. 

He looked back into your eyes, making sure you still wanted to do this before you went too far.

“I want you, Tom.”

The only four words he needed to hear before he was pushing into you, circling your clit the whole time.

The stretch was uncomfortable for a moment, but the gentle pleasure of his touch helped balance it out.

Once he was buried to the hilt, he kissed you gently but passionately as he waited for you to relax around him.

You relaxed into the kiss immediately, your crossed ankles bringing him closer to you. You moaned against him as his cock twitched and your walls fluttered. “You can move now~”

He nodded, lips hovering over yours as he braced his forearms on the wall and started to move.

“You feel so good~”

“Tom, fuck~”

A small grunt left his lips as your moans vibrated against them. 

His movements were slow, but calculated. He didn’t want to rush this, he wanted you to feel it all.

And you did. Your senses seemed to be in overdrive.

You could feel the pulse and the heat of his cock with every roll of his hips. You could hear the grunting and the groaning as he tried to keep quiet. The scent of sex and his shampoo was all you could smell. 

“Tom, baby, faster please~”

He nodded and pulled away from the wall. 

His arms wrapped around you, one hand going to your hair as he kissed you. He took a few blind steps to get to the bed and lay you down on it.

You both managed to get to the middle of the bed, barely breaking the kiss.

“You’re so beautiful~”

You smiled under him, “So are you~”

He smiled back and pressed his lips to yours, rolling his hips. 

“Oooh Tom~”

“You wanted faster… but I want to do this right~” He rasped out, interlocking his fingers with yours and moving your hands above your head.

You looked up at him, eyes wide and chest heaving. “I’ve been craving you since we met… it only amplified when I got to know you…”

You giggled and kissed his lips, “Is that why you were naked in my bed?”  

“That’s exactly why I was naked in your bed~”

thank you for joining me for this event! ❤ i hope you enjoyed it @valmare ! and again i'm so so sorry it took so long to fulfill this request!

[lavenderbradshaw]

I am speechless AHH

[lavenderbradshaw]

I’ve spent all of my conscious life trying to please people. I’m almost 23 and I’ve spent a majority of my time here trying to make everyone else happy. So much so that I have draft posts with my exact diagnosis, exact treatment plan that I know of, exact everything. I will consistently, until the day I die, give and give and give until there’s no more parts of me to give. Because, in my mind, that’s what it takes to make people stay. I thought that if I kept discovering new or old, shiny or rusty, shattered or still intact facets of myself, as long as it’s something, it’ll make people stay. So I gave way more than I got, worked way harder than I should’ve, and sold myself out to things I thought would reel more people in. In the end, the only thing it’s given me is the exact opposite of what I thought I’d get.

So, this is what you get. A tumblr blog that was started in a fandom I still very much write for, but one that will not erase other bits and pieces of me. My writing is my writing, even if I lean on songs for inspiration. My writing is still my writing, even if it takes me months to post anything. But my writing isn’t just Top Gun, it’s everything else, too. It’s Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek. It’s original works I’ve buried away in my Drive because I felt like no one wanted a piece of my own work. It’s silly little paragraphs I started and never finished. It’s poetry, it’s lyrics that have resonated with me. It’s me.

That is what this blog is. It’s mine, and it’s me. It’s not yours to come onto and demand more facets of myself that I don’t want to share. It’s yours to come to and talk to me, politely, or to request things. To talk about movies, or music, or current events. It’s ME, it’s not just Top Gun.

I hope you’ll stick around for this. Hopefully some exciting changes are coming.

Xoxo, Flo