As transgender people become more visible, so do their struggles — and, hopefully, the amount of straight people wanting to become trans allies grows.
Never, ever out a person without their express permission; this is not a thing that can be done and then apologized for later. […] The act of outing a trans* person means potentially endangering their jobs, their families, and their bodies. Even if you’re “sure everybody would be OK with it,” don’t. That is not an oopsie you can fix.
[…] The main thing to get is that it’s not about sexual attraction — there’s a distinction between sexual identity and gender identity, and there are both gay and straight trans people, just like in the non-trans community. There are also people who live outside the gender binary and don’t identify as male or female, and people who may or may not be transgender.
3. Ask About Preferred Pronouns
If you’re unsure about what pronoun a person would prefer, it’s polite to ask, without making a big deal of it. It’s better to make sure they’re comfortable than make a mistake and make them uneasy. […]
[…] Asking invasive questions about operation status or hormones, referring to anybody as “tranny” or “she-male,” or saying they “used to be a man (or woman),”are all misunderstandings and offensive.
5. Realize That It Can Be Painful
Author David Levithan’s explanation, in his book Boy Meets Boy, is: “It is an awful thing to be betrayed by your body. And it’s lonely, because you feel you can’t talk about it. You feel it’s something between you and the body. You feel it’s a battle you will never win … and yet you fight it day after day, and it wears you down.” Embracing your true gender can be a really difficult journey.
6. Never Make Assumptions
[…] Don’t make any assumptions about a trans* person’s medical history, romantic relationships, or feelings about their own life.
[…] As Jamie-Ann Meyers, a trans woman and transgender advocate, wrote for the Huffington Post, many trans* people often feel invisible or excluded, even in fights that may look as if they include them, like protests for LGBT rights. One of the best ways to challenge this? Listen.
8. Fight With Sensitivity
[…] It can be very tempting to ride in, cis-gender, on your white horse, to Solve Trans Discrimination, but that can deny their capacity to fight for themselves. You’re with them, but you ain’t in charge.
9. Keep Your Curiosity About The Process To Yourself
[…] If they want to tell you about hormones, surgery, or whatever other steps they’ve taken/are taking, make it clear that they can, but good allies don’t ask. Also, be aware that there are many ways to transition, and that the surgery-and-hormones route isn’t for everybody.
10. Don’t Say “Gender Doesn’t Matter To Me”
It may seem like the most political thing to say that you don’t “see” gender, and that whichever way a trans* person identifies in gender terms doesn’t matter to you. But this isn’t helpful, in two ways.
One, gender is a real thing — neurologically, the physical structure of our brains reflects and produces our gender identity. Two, saying it’s just a spectrum or a false binary minimizes and makes invisible a trans person’s attempts to live as their preferred gender.
[…H]ow can you go from supporting friends and people you know to using your Ally Powers in a wider spectrum? Straight For Equality recommends getting educated on the legal challenges facing trans* people — from accessing medical care to being protected against discrimination at work.
Straight For Equality: Guide To Being a Trans* Ally
Tips for Allies of Transgender People
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