summary: bsd! characters as arabic poetry and lines i read in the internet.
character(s): dazai osamu, chuuya nakahara, fyodor dostoevsky, ryuunosuke akutagawa
content warning(s): religious themes, blood, yandere-ish behaviors; you pronouns are used for reader
dazai osamu
“i’ll dip my hands in holy water if it means touching you.”
dazai osamu’s hands are stained with blood, and he knows. he knows just how many fallen bodies it took to fully coat his two palms with red. enemies’ blood, the last red ink written by his pals, all is but another layer of the skin on dazai osamu’s palm. his hands are bloody with fingers that only know nothing but to take. give dazai osamu another pair of hands and watch how it becomes soaked in blood. give him another pair and witness how the fingers are not enough to count the lives he took. since dazai osamu is a bloody wreck with bloodier hands. all his hands ever knew is how to sin, how to anger the gods, how to be an irony in churches.
that is until he found you. until his hands, with its blood and gore, ached to reach for something. until his fingers, dripping with red, started to cross themselves to wish for your well-being… for the devil to not take you away from him, a devil himself. dazai osamu is cursed with bloody hands but his palms learned how to kiss for a prayer when he found you.
his hands, sinner they are more than him, became a bloody paradox. it learned how to pray for a blessing undeserved by his sinful hands. dazai osamu is not a religious man, daring life and death with his suicidal attempts. but when he found you bathed in colors from the church’s stained glasses, dazai osamu learned that angels do exist. that god took the longest in one of his creations.
he signs the cross with his bloody fingers and dip his hands in holy water before kneeling, not to the altar but before your figure, as his trembling hand finds a place on your cheek.
and when dazai osamu’s palm lovingly carress your cheek, he can see the blood from his hand tainting your skin.
chuuya nakahara
“on the train, we swapped seats. you wanted the window and i wanted to look at you.”
it’s laughable how chuuya nakahara is always there for someone who will never choose him first. it’s hilarious how the skilled mafioso keeps choosing people who cannot even pick him as the first option. an option, a mere one, is all chuuya ever knew. to dazai osamu who never actually chose him, to mori who rather have dazai, to the red-haired hag who’d rather choose the kid. chuuya nakahara is only seen if the first option is nowhere to be found.
but not to one. not to you.
it’s funny how chuuya nakahara’s ability is gravity manipulation when all that stabilizes him to the ground is your words. when you told him that you want him even if he hesitantly asked if you are sure that you really want him. chuuya can never forget the day that you got offended when he asked if he’s the one you really want, not dazai or akutagawa or practically anyone else. since it is strange to be finally found after being invisible for so long.
and as he stare at you, drawn to that window view you so much craved, chuuya nakahara can’t but feel grateful that finally… finally someone saw him. not as a third or second option. you chose him.
and if you’ll tear your eyes away from the view outside the window to face him, you’ll see it plainly in his eyes: you’re the cure to his tainted sorrow.
fyodor dostoevsky
“and if the devil was ever to see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent,“
fyodor is not the devil, he is a religious man. the white clothes that wrap his body are not a paradox but a symbolism of the purity he seeks to achieve. the way he plays the violin, so soothingly yet eerily perfect, is but an imitation of the melody he aims to give the world. since fyodor dostoesky is a religious man. and as all men of faith, he wishes nothing but greatness for the world. fyodor dostoevsky is on a mission to save every sinful souls.
so why are you running, little mouse? why call him the devil when all he wants is to save you? come, come, little mouse. take his gloved hands and you shall be saved. shh… hush, little mouse. you shan’t call him the devil, he’s here to save you from them. little mouse, stop running. stop sinning. oh, poor little mouse. he told you— it’s a dead end there.
"stop! stop…! don’t come near me you… you… devil!”
fyodor is not the devil. he is a religious man. “i am but a man of faith. together we shall repent, dear”
fyodor is not the devil, he is a religious man who’ll lovingly kiss your closed eyes as his thumbs wipe the tears on the corner of your eyes. who’ll whisper to you in hushed tones that now you will be saved, now you’ll be away from this impure world. shh, little mouse. your tears will tempt any devil from the fiery pits of hell, your pitiful sobs will just stir something from the abyss. shh, little mouse, stop crying or the devil will kiss your eyes.
and as fyodor dostoevsky kiss the sorrow from your eyes, tears leaving the taste of salt and fear on his lips, the religious man wondered whether he’s indeed the devil who’ll kiss your eyes… and find salvation from it.
ryuunosuke akutagawa
“because my love for you
is higher than words,
i have decided to fall silent.”
ryuunosuke akutagawa is a silent lover. he love with his actions and not with his words. his love is tainted in black, with the darkness seemingly always behind his back. but with all the darkness and color of the abyss present in his being… he can’t seem to find the ink that will pen words that you deserve. since akutagawa loves with his actions and not his words. he’ll shield you from bullets instead of telling you he’ll protect you. he’ll slaughter his own allies to save you instead of saying that you’re the only one that matters. he’ll take a claw to his heart instead of saying that you’re his heart anyway.
since ryuunosuke akutagawa’s love is too steep, too high. that even mere words can no longer reach it. that his vocal chords cannot contain it. ryuunosuke akutagawa decided to fall silent since no words can express what he feels anyway. his love, cannot be expressed with mere words. but perhaps the hand behind your nape and the bloody lips on yours is an indication. perhaps the claw that ripped his heart can express what his words cannot.
ryuunosuke akutagawa is a silent lover. for his love is higher than words that he decided to fall eternally silent for you.
author’s note(s): shit format and shittier content. will fix it when idk. send me some asks T T
my favorite thing about klaus is how inadvertently useful he is. he’s not even trying to help out or be a team player, yet he ends up being the 2nd most productive sibling in getting shit done. luther and diego run around acting like headless chickens constantly, and klaus just walks on screen looking like he just came back from hell (which isn’t far off from the truth) like “hey, here’s an extremely vital piece of information you guys have spent the past 3 episodes looking for—i’m gonna get wasted now.”
“Tess, Tess, Tessa.
Was there ever a more beautiful sound than your name? To speak it aloud makes my heart ring like a bell. Strange to imagine that, isn’t it – a heart ringing – but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and splinters my bones with joy.
Why have I written these words in this book? Because of you. You taught me to love this book where I had scorned it. When I read it for the second time, with an open mind and heart, I felt the most complete despair and envy of Sydney Carton. Yes, Sydney, for even if he had no hope that the woman he loved would love him, at least he could tell her of his love. At least he could do something to prove his passion, even if that thing was to die.
I would have chosen death for a chance to tell you the truth, Tessa, if I could have been assured that death would be my own. And that is why I envied Sydney, for he was free.
And now at last I am free, and I can finally tell you, without fear of danger to you, all that I feel in my heart.
You are not the last dream of my soul.
You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth.
With hope at least,
Will Herondale”
└ Summary. Touch starved Bonten Mikey who has the biggest crush on the softest baker girl.
└ Word count. 2.6K.
└ Warnings. Cursing, slight violence, mention of killing.
└ Note. I tried with everything I got to do it as much as the requester wanted but since it was too detailed I kind of got lost. I’m sorry.
Request.
Mikey has always had people that fought for him, even if he’s more than capable to do so himself. Being the leader of Bonten is no different with this, aside from the fact that now they’re a Yakuza level gang, which means they don’t indulge in silly fights. Not when Sanzu likes to use weapons so much, and Mikey lets him every time.
But, today he wanted to test something, he wants to see if he can still get the same adrenaline by fighting that he used to get when he was a child. That’s why he decided to fight a bunch of his members at the same time, with the condition that they could go all out on him without the threat of being kicked out of the gang. His executives couldn’t get into the fight either.
After getting punched and punching for a whole hour, Kakucho stopped the fight, not caring about the repercussions of going against his leader. Sanzu, worried too, helps Kakucho to stop the brawl their childish leader had initiated.
“Y’all are fired.” Mikey says with a chuckle.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Walk.” Kakucho grunts, tired of being the only mature one.
Mikey stops in his tracks when a sweet smell gets into his nostrils. He closes his eyes and smiles.
“I wanna eat that. Now.” He says in his usual cold tone.
With the help of his members, he walks till he finds the bakery and without thinking twice he enters, forgetting he’s all bloody. The small number of people that were there jumped out of their seats and out of the small shop. After a couple seconds you come from the back.
He stops walking, watching you expressionless. Truth is, he’s starstruck, you were here all this time? Was this bakery here all the time? Did he miss the opportunity of seeing this angel because of his laziness and making Sanzu drive him everywhere? Oh damn.
“Two muffins and three chocolate chips to… go.” Your voice gets smaller when you see around and note that it is empty, you raise your eyebrows, already used to this. “And it happens again.”
“We’ll take the order.” Mikey says out of nowhere because fucking hell, the disappointment in your face is making him feel things.
You look at him with a smile and then your smile drops, he sighs, knowing that you’re about to tell him to get the hell out of your shop with his murderer and dirty hands.
“Oh my God! Sir? Sir you’re bleeding!” You run to him. Kakucho and Sanzu, knowing that it’s almost impossible for you to be a threat to their leader since you don’t even seem to know who he is, let you get closer. “Come! come! Let me clean you up!”
Mikey nods, letting you take his hand and drag him to a table in a corner, you run behind the counter and come back with a first aid kit, then you take a chair and sit in front of him, between his legs, close.
“Wait outside.” He murmurs and just like that, he’s alone with you.
“I-I… Did you got jumped? Did you see their faces? You want to call the police?” You murmur with a worried face and start to get the things to clean the blood. He smiles.
“Yes, I got jumped. Yes, I saw their faces. No, I can’t call the police.” He answers you and you nod. He doesn’t make any face or sounds when you start to rub alcohol on his cuts.
“Oh, you started it then?” You ask him. “You can alway not answer if you don’t—,”
“Yes, I started it.” He murmurs, and you nod again.
“But, still, fighting in a group with one person is not right.” You shake your head. You take his face in your hands and he closes his eyes, enjoying the touch. “Look at me and follow my finger, please.”
When he does and you check that he’s okay you stand up and go to the back of the shop again, when you come back you have a shirt in your hand. You look at your feet.
“Mhm, my shop hasn’t been open for that long but I made some shirts with the logo so my partner could wear them… we took different paths so I have some.” You explain to him. “I think this one would fit you. You can change in my office.”
He looks at you for a couple seconds before giving you a smirk. He takes the shirt and walks where you showed him. When he comes back, more decent now, you are behind the counter humming a melody while preparing several cups of coffee. He sits at one of the chairs and you slide him a plate with the muffins and the cookies from before.
“They’re still fresh.” You tell him and then point to two of the cups. “Those are for your friends that helped you come here, can you call them?”
“Sanzu!” He shouts, not too loud since he knows Sanzu is just behind the door. When the pink haired guy shows his face Mikey nods. “C’mere with Kakucho.”
“Here, gentlemen.” You say softly, giving each man their cup. They take it, surprised. “The house is inviting.”
“You really don’t know who we are, do you?” Sanzu smirks and Kakucho pinches his side.
“Let’s wait outside.” Kakucho mumbles and bows to you. “Thank you, miss.”
After they are outside you look at the man still sitting at one of your chairs.
“Uhm, are you like an important person or something? I feel kind of dumb for not being able to recognize you.” You confess to him but he just shakes his head while chuckling.
“It’s not an obligation to know who I am, he just can’t keep his mouth shut about us.” You nod. “Name’s Mikey, I’m the leader of Bonten.”
You look at him expressionless and all he could think of is how long would it take for you to throw at his face the coffee you’re holding.
“Bonten as in… the gang? The big dangerous gang?” You ask in disbelief and he just nods slowly. “Oh.”
He tilts his head to the side, waiting. Suddenly you shake your head softly and give him your hand to shake.
“I’m sorry, I got distracted at the news, name’s Y/N, nice to meet you, Mikey.” You say and he takes your hand and leans to kiss it.
“You’re not scared.” He says, a confirmation, not a question.
“I am, but I can’t stop thinking at the fact that I didn’t recognize you or your frien… they work for you, right?” He nods and you groan. “My God, I live under a rock.”
“You’re… like fresh air.” He says in a low tone and you smile.
“You’re here already, I can’t do anything about it.” You shrug and bend down to look for something on the bunch of desserts that were on display.
“Do you want me to get out?” He asks you, you hum in disapproval.
“No, why would I want that? At least you haven’t left my desserts there like it’s a plague.” He frowns at that.
“What do you mean?” He gets comfy on the chair, drinking the coffee you made for him. “I’m falling in love with everything I’m trying.”
“People tend to come and order something but then make a big scene, talking about me getting the order wrong, and I had no choice but to make the “right” order, I’ve been losing money.” You say. “And in the first week my ex came making some drama so right from the start I don’t have a good image for clients.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll work on that, yeah?” He gives you a small smile and you give him a big one. You give him your hand to shake again and he can’t help but to be pleased at the fact that apparently you like skinship.
“So, friends, Mikey?” You tell him happily.
“Call me Manjiro, and yes… friends.” For now he wants to say but doesn’t dare to do it.
A whole month has passed and he confirmed his suspicions long ago; you adore skinship, your love language must definitely be touching. After the day he met you, he comes every day to your shop and every single time you walk around the counter just to give him a friendly hug. At first, he was kind of stiff, not remembering what it felt like to be touched so genuinely, but later he couldn’t stop himself from surrounding you with his arms and tightening his grip softly.
After that day you’re happier, the reason? You have more clients!! What he doesn’t tell you? Those are his men, business partners, girlfriends of his men. He made sure everybody knew where you’re located.
“Come! Come!” You drag him to the back of the store. “You need to try this.”
“What is it, love?” He asks you in a relaxed tone.
“Red velvet cake, I have been learning how to make it but I’m not that confident to put it on display…” You say shyly, he hums while caressing your back.
You take some with a fork and feed him, he closes his eyes and groans.
“This is so good…” He tells you and you jump excitedly.
“Yaay! Finally I got it right!” You were doing a happy dance while he was watching you with a love-drunk face.
“I like you.” He says out of nowhere and you stop dancing. You laugh.
“I know.” You whisper when he puts a hand on your waist and pulls you to his chest. You put your hands flat on his chest. “What are you gonna do about it?”
“Oh?” He mocks with a small smile and you giggle, letting your forehead touch his chest. “That’s easy, I’m going to—,”
A commotion interrupts him, but he is not mad. All he needed was to know that his feelings were reciprocated.
When you both get to the front your ex is on his knees in the middle of your shop, with Ran behind him, all dressed up in his expensive suit and a baton on his hand.
“Y-Y/N? W-What is this?” Your ex asks when he sees you, but you’re looking at Ran.
“Ran… Are you okay?” You ask, worried and Mikey behind you is smiling like he won the lottery, a stranger is on the floor with blood on his head and you’re asking Ran if he’s okay?
“Oh, yes, yes, of course I am, princess.” Ran smiles at you. “This… stranger tried to spray the windows but got caught by me and my brother when we were getting here to try your new cake.”
You look at the ceiling and then turn around to hide on Mikey’s chest, his hands instantly surrounding you.
“That’s my ex.” You whisper softly to Mikey.
“That’s her ex.” Mikey says out loud without missing a beat.
Rindou stands up from the chair he was comfortably sitting on.
“Who the fuck raised you?” Rindou asks, crouching in front of the man and slapping him. “Uh? Who do you think you are to try to destroy what took her so long to build? Mhm?”
“I’m–I’m sorry! Please please don’t kill me! Y/N! Y/N!” The man cries.
You look at Mikey and he smiles at you, he kisses your forehead softly.
“I’m not gonna do that, just letting the boys scare him a little bit so he stops bothering you, yeah?” You nod.
And then Sanzu enters the shop, he frowns.
“What is this? We agreed no violence in her shop?” He asks, confused. Ran looks like a little kid who won the biggest bag of candies.
“This is her ex, he was trying to spray the windows before getting stopped by me and Rindou.” Sanzu cracks his neck and smiles.
“Bring him outside.”
You watch in silence how Ran drags the man outside and then you look at Mikey, he looks like he wants to laugh.
“I… mhm, I’ll go with them, otherwise Sanzu’s definitely gonna kill him.” He chuckles at the horror in your face and leans to kiss your nose. “I told you that’s not gonna happen. They don’t make decisions by themselves, ‘Kay?”
“You promise?”
“I promise, baby.” He nods.
When he goes outside and to the alleyway, the trio are having the time of their life by kicking the man on the floor, when he gets closer they stop. Without saying a word he takes the gun from Sanzu’s pants and puts it in the guy’s face, right in the middle of his eyebrows.
“Let all this serve as a teaching, yeah buddy?” Mikey says in a cold tone. “Next fucking time I see you in the same place my woman is, these guys are gonna be the least of your problems, you understand?”
“Y-yes sir, i-i u-understand.” He cries.
He gave Sanzu his gun back, turned around and started to walk again.
“Don’t keep beating him. She doesn’t want him past-recovery. Just call him a taxi.” Mikey murmurs before entering the shop again.
When he doesn’t see you in the front he looks at some of his men that are still sitting there and they point to the back. When he gets there you’re sitting on the desk playing with your fingers in silence.
“I’m back.” He says in a soft tone.
He sits on the chair and pulls you on his lap, your legs at each side of his, he surrounds you with his arms.
“You okay?” He whispers and you nod. “You’re not talking to me, pretty.”
“I’m disappointed.” You whisper and he tenses up.
“In me?” You shake your head. “The guys?”
“My ex. Why? Why does he keep doing that? That time I told you about, he threw mud at the windows while there were clients inside.” Your voice breaks slightly and he moves around to distract you.
“That’s over, let's not go over there. We already talked and he promised me he’s not gonna bother you anymore. You’re okay.” He tells you and you sigh.
“Did you threaten him?”
“Yes.”
“Okay...”
“Do you want to know what I was about to say before we were interrupted?” He says with a smile to try to distract you and you nod, looking at him now.
“Yes, please.”
“Mhm… I was saying that it’s easy, I’m going to take you on a date, on multiple dates, and then I’ll ask you an important question that we kind of know the answer to but I wanna hear you say it anyways.” He smirks at your smile. “And then I’m gonna request something for you to do on some days.”
“What’s that?” You say softly.
“To touch me.” He whispers, now serious. You look at him and he tightens his grip on your hips softly. “Touch me, please.”
“B-But why…” You ask, while still doing what he asked you.
You start to touch his hair, scratching his scalp, then caress his face, you lean and kiss his forehead, his nose, his cheeks. He let out a shaky breath when you kiss his lips briefly.
“This was your request?” You whisper.
“Y-yes.”
“And you want this on some days?” You ask again.
“Yes, please.”
“I don’t.” He looks at you with surprise but you’re smiling. “Everyday or nothing. Every time you come to the shop or nothing.”
He sighs and bites his lip to try to contain his emotions, he hugs you again. Sweet Jesus, you’re going to kill him with your cuteness.
“Yes, yes, yes.” He whispers repeatedly. “Touch me as much as you can, please.”
