‘ unbreakable kimmy schmidt ‘ sentence starters
these are quotes from the character TITUS ANDROMEDON. quotes featured from all three seasons. changed around as you see fit.
‘ i thought burpees were baby burps. ‘
‘ i’ll have a water , two sugars. ‘
‘ it’s new and scary , like a recently bought halloween mask. ‘
‘ i ran like an animal or like some other type of thing that runs. a faucet , perhaps. ‘
‘ it’s just one of the many small ways in which i’m stronger than beyonce. ‘
‘ but i already did something today! ‘
‘ everybody’s gay , ______. it’s the 90s. ‘
‘ ew , i’m not playing a game where the whole point is to pay rent. ‘
‘ you need to make like a 30 year old single girl and settle. ‘
‘ i don’t give up on everything that i — whatever. ‘
‘ after the movie he / she / they , suggested walking , which would be exciting if i were a baby or a mermaid. but i am neither. ‘
‘ but those papers have numbers on them , _____. numbers! the most boring of all shapes! ‘
‘ full disclosure: i can feel myself giving up on it already. ‘
‘ i’ve decided to live as a bed from now on. ‘
‘ i don’t know what to say , so i’m hoping the tone of my voice sounds like i do , okay? ‘
‘ i’m pretty but tough , like a diamond. or beef jerky in a ball gown. ‘
‘ as long as it rhymes , everything will be fines. ‘
‘ what white nonsense was that?! ‘
‘ what white nonsense is this?! ‘
‘ you think i can’t do anything without your help , but i’m gonna prove you wrong. i just need one thing: your help. ‘
‘ you’ll notice one of my special skills is ending conversations, so …. ‘
‘ … and you know all my clothes double as pajamas. ‘
‘ i envy you. i’ve never been able to meet me. ‘
‘ that explains why you’re so basic. ‘
‘ one of us has to put food on my barbie-themed tv trays. ‘
‘ i don’t want to talk about this , ______. i’m being dramatical. ‘
‘ i feezed on him / her / them, ______. that’s a food sneeze. ‘
‘ i will not be treated like an animal unless it’s a glistening panther emerging from an infinity pool. ‘
‘ you look like a young morgan freeman , which , many say , never existed. ‘
‘ but I measured so carefully with a fruit by the foot! ‘