i'm not gonna play

( *･ ☾ ˙˖ 66,180 fans ) would you be MINE ? would you be my baby tonight ? could be kissing my f r u i t punch lips in the bright s u n s h i n e 'cause i like y o u quite a lot, everything you got, don't you know ?

[m0xt]

[whtmarisol-blog]

@lcgxn

[lcgxn]

peytontf:

          ‘   i mean i kind of wanted to, been horny for two weeks but you turned me down so i guess i’ll just have fun by myself. ’   giving off a sly smile she then once again wrapped her arms around her frame before rehooking her bra together. pulling her jacket over her limbs and closing her legs she stood to her feet to over tower the girl. now of course peyton actually wanted to have sex wit logan, the two never gone more than a day or so without having sex and majority of the time in the same day but it’s been two weeks  while of course peyton was still upset at the girl sex would help take her mind off of it. now it was probably not the brightest idea for the person to help get her mind of things would be the person who she was thinking about, but that’s all she had right now. peyton was getting better at the whole not being flirty with everyone all the time since she knows how it feels to have your heart ripped out of your chest. but still it couldn’t hurt to have a little fun with other people right ? well at least other people were having fun and she was just going home, work, and to the studio the top three places she needed to help reduce her stress. ‘   well if that’s all for tonight, then you can - um - go home then. i forgave you, we talked, and we’re on good terms i guess. so i mean, have a nice night. ’   gesturing towards the front door she once again pulled her lower lip in between her pearly whites before shifting her weight back and forth trying to find something to occupy herself waiting on logan’s departure.

logan’s eyebrows slightly furrowed at peyton’s words, watching her beginning to dress up. she wanted to slap herself for turning the girl down, thinking that she could’ve been fucking her already. once again, she was confused. she thought she was doing the right thing for once, but then apparently she wasn’t. her confused gaze followed peyton as the other stood up and gestured towards the door. like hell she was going to leave now. she stood up as well, but instead of making her way to the front door, she stopped in front of the girl, placing her hands on her waist, pulling her close. touching her again felt amazing. she brought her lips to the other’s ear to whisper. “ are you trying to mess with me ? ” she nibbled on the girl’s lube, dragging her lips down her jaw, leaving open-mouthed kisses. she moved her hands to remove the other’s jacket and let it fall to the ground, soon after her hands making the familiar way to the back of peyton’s bra, to unhook it and pull the cloth off the girl’s body.

[lcgxn]

peytontf:

          ‘   what’s wrong logan ? i’m giving you what you want. you want to fuck, i’m letting you fuck me. you said you were down to have sex with whoever wanted to have sex with you so what’s the problem ? i’m getting naked right in front of you and you’re turning me down. is it because you rather have some new fresh meat or what ? ’   of course peyton wasn’t trying to get under the girl’s skin, but she wanted to see if logan was really going to try this or not. but then again it wasn’t like peyton was someone random who maybe logan preferred ? once she felt her bra strap being pushed back up against her flesh her orbs followed logan’s gestures before turning her attention back to her. when the other couldn’t even look at her, peyton knew it must’ve been hard for her to turn her down. which was something that she’s never seen logan do, ever. whenever peyton wanted sex or just for logan to do whatever she wanted to the other was always ready to go. but now ? it was like peyton was a total different person  who logan didn’t even want anymore. a piece of her was hurt to be turned down especially so fast, has she lost her touched ? has she gained some weight or something ? but then again a piece of her was thankful that logan had turned her down, it was a sign of change. at least that’s what she thought. ‘   so you don’t want to have sex  with me ? ’  

logan shook her head at peyton’s words, keeping her gaze down. it was hard, after two weeks of missing the girl, turning down having sex with her. “ i’m not doing it if you don’t want it. ” she was honestly surprising herself, but she didn’t want peyton to feel forced to have sex. she wanted to have sex with peyton. so much. but she couldn’t do anything, knowing that the other didn’t want it. honestly, she didn’t know what peyton wanted from her, she confused her, saying and doing different things. now she was half naked right in front of her, after she said multiple times that they were over. logan didn’t know how to take it, and she was definitely surprised by her own self control at the moment. at the girl’s question, she shook her head quickly. “ no - i want to. of course i want to. i’ve been missing you for two damn weeks. i just want you to want it, too. ”

[lcgxn]

peytontf:

          ‘   honestly i don’t know why you don’t you never told me, i just respected it and kept my space that’s all. ’   it was evident that the conversation was probably going to take a drastic turn if they kept going with this conversation, so peyton quickly removed her hands from logan’s grip. she didn’t want to argue with the other nor give her motive to, so with their hands now free again peyton crossed her limbs over her jacket before nibbling at her lower lip. a habit that she did when she was under pressure, one that she’s been trying to break since she was younger and unfortunately haven’t even gotten close to stopping. ‘   you don’t know what i want logan, and you should probably stop assuming you know everything about everyone. you don’t know how i would’ve reacted to you and bailee’s incident, you don’t know how i would react to you telling me that we were going to be nothing but sex, and you don’t know how i want to see you just like i don’t know how you want to see me. but i’m starting to assume, that i do from what you’ve been doing. ’   a small shrug bouncing off her shoulders before giving a soft nod gesturing that she was understanding the other’s words. ‘   i can, if that’s what i gotta do then that’s what i have to do. we all do shit we don’t want to, so it’s really whatever. you just want to fuck we can fuck. ’   it was evident that peyton’s feelings were probably still hurt from weeks prior but she wasn’t going to let it show. sighing softly she opened her legs wide enough for the other to pull her shorts down to expose her warm core. ‘   here come on. ’    digits played with her zipper before removing her jacket to expose her swollen breast resting in her lace bra. limbs snaked around her body to undo the two hooks keeping the fabric together before sliding the straps down her forearms. 

“ there’s nothing to tell that you don’t already know. i don’t get too close to people, i don’t do relationships, i’m not used to this. ” she said, looking down at their hands, before peyton released her hands, which made logan look up at her features, hoping that she didn’t anger her again. “ you’re right, i don’t know, but you shouldn’t want me as your girlfriend. here’s me telling you this. you shouldn’t. ” she told the other quietly. she listened to peyton, her face falling with every word that left her mouth. there she was - peyton, sitting right in front of her with her legs spread, taking her jacket off - yet the hurt in the girl’s eyes wasn’t something that could go unnoticed. that what she wanted, wasn’t it ? logan wanted what they had back, and now it was served to her on a silver plate. she spent two weeks missing it, wanting peyton, and now she was right there. only that logan didn’t want it anymore. she watched the other sliding the straps of her bra down her forearms. if the situation they were in was normal, she’d be already fucking peyton without thinking twice. but the girl’s words, along with the look in her eyes, made it impossible for logan to want it. which truly wasn’t typical - because logan wouldn’t ever turn down sex. she brought her hand to one of the straps of the other’s bra, sliding it back up to it’s place. “ i don’t want it if it’s not something you want. it doesn’t worth anything if you feel like you have to do it. i don’t want it, peyton. ” she told the girl, looking away from her.

[lcgxn]

peytontf:

                          once her hands were now being held in the other’s hands a small smile played on peyton’s lips. usually whenever she tried this with logan before it would never work. logan would always try to get her way out of doing ‘ couple things ’ with peyton and it was evident that it was because the two weren’t in a relationship. but the thought of them sort of happening as a couple made peyton’s heart flutter however now she was still second guessing herself if that’s what she really wanted. at a young age she was always told you couldn’t change someone and peyton didn’t want to try and conform logan into something she wasn’t. if she wanted to go out and screw as many people as she wanted that was her business, not peyton’s. sighing softly she leaned over to place a soft kiss on the other’s porcelain flesh. just a gesture to show she was thankful for logan fighting this hard for them, but was there really anything t fight for ? all they did was have sex and argue, there were some days when they were actually having good moments. cuddling and talking to each other or watching movies, just doing more than fucking and arguing. ‘  you don’t have to do this you know ? i especially don’t want you to do it, if it’s going to make you uncomfortable. maybe there’s really no spark here, lo. the only thing we’re good at for each other is fucking and arguing and if that’s all you want then i’m fine with that. ’  

logan noticed the smile that played on peyton’s lips, a small smile gracing her lips as well. holding the girl’s hands felt nice, especially because of the smile on the other’s face. logan didn’t know if she could change. she truly didn’t know if she could trust herself not to ruin everything. people like her didn’t deserve anybody, because she managed to ruin every relationship she had with anyone ever. which is why she thought what she had with peyton until she ruined it too - was perfect. she got to have sex with peyton regularly, without having to commit, and without hurting anybody or getting hurt. or at least that’s what she thought, because the feelings that were developed for the girl caused her getting hurt again, and hurting the other. they couldn’t go on with what they had, logan knew it, but she wished they could. as peyton leaned over to kiss her skin, she could feel that stupid flutter that her heart would make every time something like that happened with the girl. at her words, she sighed, giving her hand a squeeze. “ it’s not making me uncomfortable - you know why i don’t do that. ” she said and gestured at their hands. “ i’m not a person you’d want as a girlfriend. ” she murmured. “ you’re not fine with that, you already said that you can’t keep doing this. i do want more, you fucking know i do. ”

[lcgxn]

bcileeisms:

logan’s words made her pause in mid step and despite her better judgment, she turned back around. she felt as if she had steam shooting out of her ears as she moved a couple of steps back towards her ex. “you already did, logan. once is enough for me.” she didn’t even know if she’d heard her over the music or if she’d spoken clearly enough for the other girl to be able to read her lips in the dim lighting but she didn’t care. and with those words, it was as if her anger and tension that she’d had built up inside of her had finally been released. those couple of sentences had been sitting on her mind for ages it seemed like, and it wasn’t that she wanted to hurt the other girl, - far from it. she’d hit that point where anger had turned into acceptance, bordering on no longer caring. hatred and anger was one thing that she didn’t allow to rule her life, but it was indifference that was far worse. logan and all of the drama that had come with their relationship had slipped into indifference. “delete my number,” bailee commanded, loud enough to be heard clearly over the music if the shocked aces of the patrons were enough to go by. “delete my number and leave.”

logan let out a groan at the other’s words. she didn’t know what to do anymore, nothing she said or did made the girl soften the slightest. it was true that she ruined everything she had with bailee, but seeing her again made all kinds of emotions stir up within her. she wondered if bailee was completely over what they once had, knowing deep down that she wasn’t, especially after the way it ended abruptly, leaving her heartbroken. the other’s words made her pause, unsure if that was her sign that there was nothing there for the girl after all. she stood there looking at the other, her posture tensed with everything she was feeling. she didn’t want to leave like that, and she didn’t want to delete bailee’s number too. but there were people watching them, and she didn’t know what she could do anymore. “ right. right.. okay, bailes. i hope you have a good fucking night. ” she forced out, turning to stumble out of the club.

[lcgxn]

ofatlvs:

“i’m just in such a great holiday spirit. i’m going to take a wild guess and assume this probably won’t be possible with my shirt in the way, yeah?” the rhetorical question is punctuated by atlas pulling the fabric over his head, balling up the material in one hand as he sits in the chair with a shit-eating grin. “have at it.”

“ i can tell. we could make it work with your shirt on if you’re too shy. ” she joked, sitting down on her seat beside the other, putting on a brand new pair of latex gloves. “ so, what exactly do you want ? ”

[beanieyeon]

[whtmarisol-blog]

@adriannajfc /// @lcgxn

[lcgxn]

just choose one

“ that’s not vague at all. ”

[lcgxn]

if you could have three wishes, what would they be?

“ time travelling would be awesome, some more money is always good. another one ? i don’t know, these two would fix my life and solve my problems. ” 

[whoiscleo-blog]

who have you never spoken to before but want to?

Logan maybe? I don’t know, I probably shouldn’t put more toxic people in my life but maybe she just needs a good hug?

@lcgxn

[lcgxn]

i can't believe you're between two sisters. ever think of having a three-way?

“ yeah, so fun. something tells me a three-way would never work. ” @peytontf @bcileeisms

[lcgxn]

will you be releasing any kind of music any time soon?

“ right now i’m focused on all kinds of personal life shit. i still play at gigs every once in a while. for friends, mostly. i was gonna do another youtube video, a drum cover or something, but i just got really caught up with my personal problems. ” 

[lcgxn]

peytontf:

          ‘   honestly logan -… ’   her voice trailing off she turned to make eye contact with the other before releasing another sigh. moving her hands from the insides of her thigh she gripped at the top of her exposed leg before releasing her skin. it’s been a long time, maybe even never happened before that peyton’s ever been speechless. she didn’t know what to say to the other nor did she knew what she wanted from logan or even from her own self. it was as if all the emotions and things she wanted logan to say, she did and now that she said it what was peyton supposed to do ?  ‘   if you want to leave you can, i’m not keeping you hostage you know ? i gave you your apology and i honestly don’t know what i want right now when it comes to you. you said all the things i wanted you to, but then i’m still slight weight confused as to what to do with that information or even getting my heart broken more than what it is right now as it’s healing. so – yeah i guess you can go. ’  

logan listened, nibbling on her lower lip. she was glad that at least she managed to make a progress, to say what peyton wanted to hear and to start fixing things between them. in all honesty, logan didn’t want to leave. after two weeks away from the girl, all she wanted was to be around her. she was scared of saying it and maybe making things messy again, she truly didn’t know what to do next. she walked over to the couch hesitantly, sitting down next to peyton slowly, studying the other, making sure that her actions didn’t cause any negative reactions. she still observed her as she took peyton’s hand in hers. honestly, she only did it because she remembered the other trying to do that with her before, but logan always rejected that kind of gestures and found an excuse to escape. this time she wanted to show peyton that she was trying for her, despite her own fuck ups and fears.

[lcgxn]

bailee or peyton?

right, it sounds so easy when you put it like this. like i could just choose. they both don’t want me anyway. @peytontf has a girlfriend, @bcileeisms hates my guts. i fucked everything up.

[dvoyd]

i’m sorry darling, i never meant to love you; to love you like i do— like a hungry thing that’s always eating. and i’m sorry i have claws claws and teeth and jaws glass shards and broken ribs; all these sharp things that are craving you.

a love like starvation | m.a.w (via dvoyd)

[coezoiudinha]

[lcgxn]

@peytontf