To my love, my first TOTGA @supermakhtan
I still can’t believe it’s been so long.
It’s been a decade since I first knew you existed.
I’m glad you’re still here,
and I’m more than proud of what you’ve become.
You were the first person to show me what love felt like.
You were the first person to give me the love I never got from my birth givers.
You were the first person who loved me more when I was loving myself less.
You were the first person who was proud of my achievements when I felt like a failure.
You were the first person who made me realize that not all love is reciprocated.
You were my first love. My first heartbreak. My almost. My what if. My could’ve-been.
You were everything to me that wasn’t mine.
You were right when you said before that we live an uncertain life.
Who would’ve thought that after a decade, I’d still admire you? Just not like before.
It feels surreal to reflect on those moments — so vivid yet so distant.
You were the love who taught me the sweet ache of longing and the bittersweet taste of memories that linger long after they should have faded.
Writing this letter is not just an act of nostalgia; it’s a journey through time — a chance to revisit the echoes of our laughter and the lessons etched into my heart.
As I sift through these memories, I realize they are not merely remnants of what was lost but also signposts guiding me toward who I’ve become today.
In this decade apart, life has taught me lessons that only time can impart. Each relationship since has been a brushstroke on the canvas of my existence; some vibrant and full of promise, others muted by shadows of heartbreak.
Yet, none have quite captured the unique hue of what we had, the bittersweet symphony that played long on after the final note had faded.
In a world where distance often feels like an insurmountable barrier, I found a connection that felt effortless.
There was something beautiful about it — this love without proximity.
We shared our favorite songs and poured our hearts into messages that spanned hours.
It was a love story written in bits and bytes, where every “ping” from my phone lit up my heart with anticipation.
It felt safe and warm, like a favorite blanket on a chilly night.
But like many beautiful things that exist only in the ether of the internet, our connection was fragile.
Reality loomed large over our virtual paradise; life had plans for each of us that didn’t include togetherness.
We both knew our paths were destined to diverge, yet we cherished each moment as if it were a perfect gift.
You were my greatest almost. My biggest could’ve-been.
5years ago, I stopped wondering what if we had a different ending? What if it’s actually us in the end? We just got lost. What if, eventually, we’ll find each other again and continue what we once had?
I stopped thinking about those things because I knew someone could take care of you better than I could.
Someone will love you more than I did.
Someone out there is the right one for you, which, of course, is not me.
But I’m glad we happened. Even just for a short while.
and I’ll always be grateful you existed.
blakekathryn
andulkaphoto
ellievsbear
vaporwave
romaincrisis
gummygunk
snowghoul
