dear diary, today i fucking killed my drawing tablet on accident. i'm getting a replacement soon, but it is a little sad.
i never thought about it properly before, but it's kind of staggering how many drawings i've done with it. thousands ? easily. the question is how many thousands, i think, that's the harder part. because i feel like i've posted a lot on here, but it has to be, at most, maybe a tenth of everything i've ever made on this tablet. it really isn't much at all.
i guess it depends on what you call "a drawing". so long as the emotion is finished, to me it counts as "a drawing". so a 2 page comic is "a drawing", but the mspaint doodle i made in 2 minutes is a drawing too. as soon as the moment is over, and i carried it to completion. there, it's "a drawing".
but if we wanted to think in terms of full size illustrations, the number is still impressive, i think.
if i wanted to run this blog like the army (which i do not), i could easily queue something to post every day up until i get my replacement tablet, and then i could queue up some more up until i organically make something new with the new tablet that i also want to post. and then i could just keep going, for a long while, before posting the new tablet's drawings. that is how much is hidden in my files that i won't post for whatever reason. sometimes i decide i'll post some anyway, and i do.
it's weird to think this tablet was there for seven years of my drawing life. that's a very long time.
in fact, everything that is currently on this blog, it's been drawn on this tablet. it wouldn't have existed without it, save, of course, for the traditional drawings i made and posted there too.
like, the whole hannibal era where i'd draw hannibal lecter every day for 2 years. this tablet was the conduit for all of it. it has seen a lot of my interests rise and fall and also, i hope, a lot of my progress. so, i guess i should be very grateful for the tablet, which, of course, i am.
i hadn't really thought about it, but the tablet is, most definitely, an extension of my body. that much is clear. i think i've expressed myself with this tablet more efficiently than i ever have with these hands and this mouth.
yes, reflecting on the countless times i've drawn something to express something to a friend, an idea or a feeling or a continuation of a feeling, i think it can be said, without the shadow of a doubt, that my drawing is my best means of communication, better than anything else i could come up with, and when i practice drawing, i'm not practicing drawing. i'm practicing talking.
well, all the same, time won't go any faster or slower.
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