“Yuuri!” Victor called, clapping his hands to get his students attention. Yuuri stopped spinning, scowling at he ground.
Skating out to meet him, Victor rested his hands on his hips, and he looked. Because all he could do was look. It had been months, he had been here for months, and still all he could do was look. But for now, that would have to be enough. Because he couldn’t scare Yuuri away, he couldn’t. If getting any closer than looking would scare Yuuri, he would hold himself back. He would wait.
“You look frustrated, Yuuri. You’re supposed to be skating about your love, not about the death of an army in the winter.”
But he could get closer, right? He had done that before. So he did, Victor slid ever so much closer, a hand resting on his hip.
“I know.” Yuuri sighed running a hand through his damp hair. “I just- I don’t know. I can’t get into the right headspace today.”
“I’ve noticed.” Victor agreed, because Yuuri had seemed frustrated all day, too, not just now. He racked his mind for what he could say to help. For a moment, they were silent, Yuuri staring at his skate and Victor staring at Yuuri.
Maybe… Victor slid closer, and closer still, until Yuuri looked up at him again, and their skates almost touched. Maybe. Maybe I can… touch him too? Because hadn’t he done that, too? He had touched Yuuri before, casually, a little more flirtatiously in the beginning before he had dialed it down. But now. Now, they were closer than they had been at the beginning. Maybe, just maybe, he could touch him again. Just a little.
“Yuuri,” he began, resting a hand on his shoulder. Yuuri’s eyes widened, causing Victor to stiffen. But he didn’t pull away. “You’re too focused on the stats, aren’t you? I’ve heard you all week, talking to yourself about the points, and the competition. Is that why you’re so frustrated?” Yuuri nodded. So it was as he had thought.
Bringing his other hand up, he rested it on Yuuri’s other shoulder. Because now he can, he knows that doing it is safe. It won’t make Yuuri run. “Think about who you love, Yuuri. Think about your family, Minako, and Phichit. Think about Celestino. You love them all, right? They’re who your program is about. Don’t let them get lost in the logistics of your skate. They ARE your skate, Yuuri.”
Another nod. Good. Victor was working in the right direction. Subconsciously, or perhaps he had meant to, he wasn’t sure, but either way, Victor’s hands had come closer, one ending up on the back of Yuuri’s neck, tugging him fractionally closer, and he could feel how soft Yuuri’s hair was, even dampened by sweat.
“Think…” he took a deep breath, the hand still on Yuuri’s shoulder squeezing briefly. “Think about me, too. About your love for me, and my love for you, too.” He could feel himself blush at his indirect confession.
And his hands were resting on Yuuri’s cheeks now, and they were so close. All Victor could think about was he’s right here, I could kiss him, but I can’t. I can’t kiss him. But God do I want to. His eyes flicked down to Yuuri’s lips and back to his eyes, catching for a second on the bridge of his nose, which had turned pink at some point.
“And-um…” He tried to say, but his words were failing as his brain focused on how close they were, and how much they were touching, and if he leaned in just two inches then their lips would touch.
But he can’t. He wants to and he can’t and isn’t that the most frustrating thing ever? Victor had arrived in Japan so ready to be with Yuuri, and here he found out that Yuuri was different away from banquets and crowds. Here he was quieter, he was so much more reserved, and he had only just stopped flinching when Victor got close. But he was just as sweet, and kind, and everything Victor could have ever dreamed of, and they had been getting so much closer. It had been a while since that day at the beach where Yuuri had flipped Victor’s world upside down for the fourth time since they met.
As they got closer, as Yuuri stopped flinching so hard, Victor had found himself falling so much harder, so much faster, and it felt like he would never stop. He didn’t know if he ever wanted to.
But those thoughts are old-hat. After oh-so-many hours laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling late at night, he had run these thoughts over and over in his mind. He still didn’t have an answer. But then again, he didn’t really have a question either.
Here, though. Here and now. He had Yuuri’s cheeks in his hands, and Yuuri’s hands hovered near his hips, and he knew, he knew, he had seen Yuuri look at his lips too, but he had ended up enraptured with Yuuri’s eyes. Because when was he ever not? He could wax poetic about his eyes. And his lips. His skating, his personality, everythi-
And then every single thought stopped as he felt a gentle pressure on his lips, and Yuuri’s eyes were closed and closer, and he was kissing him. He felt as though he had ascended.
When Yuuri pulled back, it felt like it had only been a second since he leaned in, and he was so much more red than before.
“I…. Um…” Yuuri’s hands were on his hips, his eyes were wide, and his lips had just been on Victor’s. But he was speaking now, so Victor tried his best to listen through the running haze of Yuuri kissed me, he KISSED me. I was kissed by Yuuri. I felt his lips, and I want more. “Was that okay?” Yuuri whispered, his grip tightening just a little before relaxing again. He looked so obviously anxious and Victor smiled and leaned in again, just really quickly, though he knew he wanted to linger.
Yuuri smiled back, though a little shakily. But he, too, started to move closer. Until, eventually, wonderfully, their lips met again, and wow. Victor’s eyes slid shut as he allowed himself to feel, really, truly feel this kiss, and when had he allowed himself to do that? How many years had it been since he kissed with no other purpose than to feel lips against his own?
It was clear that Yuuri was still anxious, and they went no further than to press their lips together before pulling apart once again. For a while, they just stared at each other, matching dorky grins.
Eventually, Yuuri broke the silence. “You… have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
And all Victor could do was laugh. He leaned forward, rested his head on Yuuri’s shoulder, reveled in the fact that he could. And he laughed. At the irony, at the ridiculousness, at how much he could relate, and how shocked he was.
“Why are you laughing?” Yuuri asked, and Victor could feel as Yuuri laughed too.
“Because.” Victor said, straightening back up. “Because we’ve both been wanting this for so long. I’ve been wanting this for so long, Yuuri. And you beat me to it, and you asked if it was okay, and Yuuri.” Victor kissed his forehead. “Beautiful,” he kissed his nose, “wonderful,” his cheek, “crazy,” he kissed the corner of his mouth, “Yuuri.” One more kiss, on his lips this time, and Yuuri was a giggling mess. “I don’t know if you’ll ever understand exactly how okay it is.”
Yuuri hid his face in his hands, Victor could see the blush on his ears, and he wanted to kiss him there, too. Because he finally could, and all of his thoughts had descended into I can kiss Yuuri. He will let me kiss him. He isn’t running. He kissed me. I can do it again. I want to kiss him again. We kissed. We might kiss again later.
Victor reached up and gently pried Yuuri’s hands from his face and tilted his head up to look at him again, and he got lost in his eyes again. But he remembered his words. “We are going to have to have a serious conversation about this, you know that, right?” Yuuri’s smile faded, slightly, and he nodded. “But later.” Victor said and kissed the corner of his mouth again. I can kiss him. “For now, we should probably finish practice.”
And for the first time in years, Victor giggled. Just slightly. But it made Yuuri’s entire expression light up, more than before, and that made him giggle again.
Yuuri leaned up and kissed him. “We should definitely finish practice first.” He nodded, and pulled away. Victor couldn’t stop himself from reaching out, slightly, barely. He didn’t want the moment to end, and it had truly only been a moment. But it had been the best moment of his life.
“After practice, Victor.” Yuuri said, giggling to himself. And Victor nodded to him.
