butterflies under the railway bridge
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@leaningfrmthesteepslope
butterflies under the railway bridge
i will start sitting in a clearing holding a small stone and rubbing it with my hand for 10000 years to learn how to empathize with the river bed
is anyone else disgusted by the enormity of their desire or is it just me & richard siken
Actually maybe I have too much of one
Fundamentally I do not have a subjectivity
it's so fun to watch yourself in the imagined eye. right now I am sitting with my legs in a triangle poised on the edge of my bedrail with a pot of Vigo Black Beans and Rice and a redds on the windowsill. and of course we've got pretty hate machine on my phone. what a strange selection of products. but who's buying? sunlight on oak leaves outside. it's hot. it's perfect. to whom? who's looking? who's performing?
Sorry you are getting weird anons. I just wanted to say your post about amab tboys changed me forever and ever since then I have felt something unlock within me and I feel a radiance. Thank you
I want to suggest to you something that I think about the change that you have described inside yourself and the words of anons which may or may not be accurate.
So human beings are using pre empirical mythologies to understand, anticipate, plan, etc. Not always mythology as in "Mithras went in the dark and there was a bull" but also "ticks appear on tall grass in the lowlands". This is maybe an echo to looking around a forest and seeing where berries or poison vines may grow and where wild game or predators may be hiding.
It is not bad. It's a very powerful phenomenon that we use to create our shared future.
When you give a little gay child an autostraddle pamphlet that says "transgender is this, bisexual is this, etc." What you're giving them is mythology that makes them understand their experience as intelligible. Maybe the prhasing of the mythology is not so good but what matters is that the big ideas are in place and reality can come up to fill them in with nuances and shadows and new connections...
Having a rich and flexible mythology is very psychologically empowering because it means you have the least conflict with phenomenal reality and the most power to imagine and effect possible new futures. So it feels spiritually pleasurable to unlock a new story.
Well because the stories are part of our core competencies for understanding and planning they sometimes become fetishes for us. Especially young people. I begin to think the story is me and part of my survival. But the story is necessarily smaller than reality which means Reality always invites the story to change and expand. And if the story is part of my survival to change it is a violation of me and my body and my ability to live. Now the story oppresses me.
In individuals we tend to kind of learn some way of dealing with it because arguing with reality is hard to sustain and socially questionable. What can be especially dangerous is when our methods for organizing human persons become bureaucratically encrusted with expired stories 🤔 A lot of medicine is this, agronomy, production, and a lot of our approach to transgender people actually.
Tldr power over story feels good, story with power over you feels bad.
HAMMOND B3 ORGAN CISTERN by GABRIELLE CALVOCORESSI
bout to start a postcard exchange out of pure necessity
it has been three weeks since i had a cigarette and it still lives somewhere deep down in the back of my brain where all the gunk lives and it's positioned itself weirdly as connective tissue like the black cobwebs polyester (?) ghosts that form after fires same as the dreams
but have i simply internalized the gaze of the other. sigh
this is called what?
wet cigarette
and this is called what?
wet cigarette
and what is this?
wet cigarette
and perhaps what is this?
wet cigarette
speechless and desolate in the landscape (but i know it's fine)
probably it is a bad idea to self-impose exile upon oneself. nevertheless.
Theses on Monsters, China Mieville
1.
The history of all hitherto-existing societies is the history of monsters. Homo sapiens is a bringer-forth of monsters as reason’s dream. They are not pathologies but symptoms, diagnoses, glories, games, and terrors.
2.
To insist that an element of the impossible and fantastic is a sine qua non of monstrousness is not mere nerd hankering (though it is that too). Monsters must be creature forms and corpuscles of the unknowable, the bad numinous. A monster is somaticized sublime, delegate from a baleful pleroma. The telos of monstrous quiddity is godhead.
3.
There is a countervailing tendency in the monstrous corpus. It is evident in Pokémon’s injunction to “catch ’em all,” in the Monster Manual’s exhaustive taxonomies, in Hollywood’s fetishized “Monster Shot.” A thing so evasive of categories provokes—and surrenders to—ravenous desire for specificity, for an itemization of its impossible body, for a genealogy, for an illustration. The telos of monstrous quiddity is specimen.
4.
Ghosts are not monsters.
5.
It is pointed out, regularly and endlessly, that the word “monster” shares roots with “monstrum,” “monstrare,” “monere“—”that which teaches,” “to show,” “to warn.” This is true but no longer of any help at all, if it ever was.
6.
Epochs throw up the monsters they need. History can be written of monsters, and in them. We experience the conjunctions of certain werewolves and crisis-gnawed feudalism, of Cthulhu and rupturing modernity, of Frankenstein’s and Moreau’s made things and a variably troubled Enlightenment, of vampires and tediously everything, of zombies and mummies and aliens and golems/robots/clockwork constructs and their own anxieties. We pass also through the endless shifts of such monstrous germs and antigens into new wounds. All our moments are monstrous moments.
7.
Monsters demand decoding, but to be worthy of their own monstrosity, they avoid final capitulation to that demand. Monsters mean something, and/but they mean everything, and/but they are themselves and irreducible. They are too concretely fanged, toothed, scaled, fire-breathing, on the one hand, and too doorlike, polysemic, fecund, rebuking of closure, on the other, merely to signify, let alone to signify one thing.
Any bugbear that can be completely parsed was never a monster, but some rubber-mask-wearing Scooby-Doo villain, a semiotic banality in fatuous disguise. It is a solution without a problem.
8.
Our sympathy for the monster is notorious. We weep for King Kong and the Creature from the Black Lagoon, no matter what they’ve done. We root for Lucifer and ache for Grendel.
It is a trace of skepticism that the given order is a desideratum that lies behind our tears for its antagonists, our troubled empathy with the invader of Hrothgar’s hall.
9.
Such sympathy for the monster is a known factor, a small problem, a minor complication for those who, in drab reaction, deploy an accusation of monstrousness against designated social enemies.
10.
When those same powers who enmonster their scapegoats reach a tipping point, a critical mass, of political ire, they abruptly and with bullying swagger enmonster themselves. The shock troops of reaction embrace their own supposed monstrousness. (From this investment emerged, for example, the Nazi Werwolf program.) Such are by far more dreadful than any monster because, their own aggrandizements notwithstanding, they are not monsters. They are more banal and more evil.
11.
The saw that We Have Seen the Real Monsters and They Are Us is neither revelation, nor clever, nor interesting, nor true. It is a betrayal of the monstrous, and of humanity.
I love you and all of you and the weird little traces you left in my life and on the building we lived in midwestern oak leaf memories twist in the light and move in the wind these branches were bare once and now they're full I wonder how it affected your dreams
the stage kept moving turning slightly in the darkness even when I had my eyes closed when I was in the darkness too time clock time things move when you're not looking at them