occasionally subtle
bliss lane
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Game Changer & Make Some Noise
Kiana Khansmith
ojovivo
Not today Justin
hello vonnie
No title available
gracie abrams
No title available
No title available
The Bowery Presents
#extradirty
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Xuebing Du
Andulka
Monterey Bay Aquarium
izzy's playlists!
ellievsbear
seen from Australia
seen from France
seen from Germany
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from Türkiye
seen from Finland
seen from Venezuela
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Russia
@leann-elaine
Oh, I get it. You mean like when someone drinks too much, or snorts cocaine, or bets the house on the ponies? Or like when someone smokes too many cigarettes? Or like when someone shops too much with credit cards? Or like when someone plays too many scratchy lotteries? Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake? Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake and then barfs it up? Executive Producer: Dick Wolf.
i didn’t know how much i needed andy samberg and seth meyers poking fun at john mulaneys speech pattern but now i don’t know how i lived without it (x)
mr darcy: literally insults elizabeth’s entire family while proposing
elizabeth: you are the last man in the world whom i could ever be prevailed upon to marry
mr darcy:
#not seeing your friends in a while like (via somniumaddiction)
yeah thanks me too
youtube.com/watch?v=tc-jMrxgPsw&t=47s
this is cool but why is it shot like the intro credits of a crime drama
…Dessert, but shot like Murder. I think I’ve found my favorite aesthetic ever.
@madamehearthwitch This is another good thing
Ummmm…
Who do we talk to about having all recipes EVER delivered to us like this?
Wow I love Hannibal
this is probably the funniest thing i have ever seen
I don’t know John Mulaney’s wife but I trust her
One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.
And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”
He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.
during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard
When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”
She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”
He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”
Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”
ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid
i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”
hey uhhhh has anyone done this yet
some, once, the worl gonna (INHALE) i aint arpest the sheh. he was kinda a thing and a the shape and L her four. WELL, they coming and coming, rules and out running. temps not to bun, you’re pot but you’re dumb. so do so muh so whats wro aching the. and if you don’t. (record scratch) and if you dont…
you’re an! get cha! go! ey! you’re a! get the sh! get ey! all that glisto! shoot staa go moe…
it’s a -tsk- and they colder! you’re now, wait older! but the men beg to, judging by the h. satellite. the ice we’s. getting pretty, waters getting might as well. worlds on! how bout. thats the way never get
you’re an! get cha! go! ey! you’re a! get the sh! get ey! all that glisto! shoot staa go moe…
(random discordant whistling and record scratches)
you’re an! get cha! go! ey! you’re a! get the sh! get ey! all that glistooo!!! shootn staa….
some once a spare change for need to self a this place. i said ye! what a cons. i could you a fuel mas. we could use a…CHAAAAAY! WELL! they coming and coming, rules and out running! temps not to bun, you’re pot but you’re dumb. so do so muh so whats wro aching the. and if you don’t. (GO!) and if you dont!!!
you’re an! get cha! go! ey! you’re a! get the sh! get ey! all that glistooo! shoot staa go moe! n’ all that glisto! shoot staa go moe!
the immense healing power of room-cleaning can never be overstated
