name: meghan, but everyone calls me megh
age: 22
fav drivers: cl16/ln4/gr63
my inbox and dms is always open for anything! talking, request, ranting if you need that
my master list is under the cut.
my firsts language is not english, so there might be a few grammatical errors, which i apologize for. feel free to give me corrections as long as it's in a respectable manner x
‼️ IMPORTANT NOTICE REGARDING SCAM ACCOUNTS IMPERSONATING ME ‼️
This is a post I didn’t think I would ever have to make, but here we are...
It has come to my attention that some people are receiving messages form an account pretending to be me, claiming to offer free Tumblr Premium and asking users to click on links in order to get it. THIS IS NOT ME. I will never contact anyone offering anything, let alone ask you to click on random links or request personal information through DMs.
If you receive something similar to this:
DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK
DO NOT ENTER ANY PERSONAL INFORMATION
REPORT IMMEDIATELY AND BLOCK IF NECESSARY
At the moment, I have also been informed that there may be a report or ticket associated with my blog that is allegedly set to go into motion within the next 12 hours. What makes this particularly frustrating is that I have not personally received any email, notification nor an official communication from Tumblr regarding such matter. The person who contacted me claims they received information about it and provided some screenshots, but I currently have no way of verifying its legitimacy. Therefore, I choose not to file an appeal at this time, mostly for privacy reasons.
That being said, guys, in case my blog ends up being suspended because of a scam operation, I’m gonna lose my shit. This is my safest place on the internet, no creator should have to deal with such consequences.
Until further notice, please please please be careful, double-check usernames before interacting because they will make the accounts look exactly the same, and always assume that any blog contacting you about free stuff is fraudulent unless explicitly stated otherwise by me through my one and only account, which is this one: trashytracktsles.
Stay safe and I really hope this isn’t the last time I post on here, I swear to god.
an: i've had this idea in my mind since checks notes july 12th, 2025. i'm still kind of new at writing, and english isn't my first language, so there might be a few mistakes in there. this is kind of short, i just had an idea and not really much else. just wrote until i had everything i wanted.
pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
warnings: swearing, cheating (a lil kissing, i'm not trying to excuse cheating), open ending + no part two
word count: 1.047 words
it was 4.57 am. lando knew he should have gone home a long time ago, and yet, he didn't want to. wasn't interested in the quiet that would be waiting at home. the emptiness he felt. the longing.
and suddenly, there she was. tall, pretty, blonde, exactly what he would have gone for, if it wasn't for you.
she wasn't shy. quite the opposite actually. everyone could see it. even lando. should he have made it clear from the beginning that he was taken? yeah. yeah he should have. but he didn't, and she offered to buy him a drink, which he could really use.
next thing he knew, they were outside, lips locked like their life depended on it. her back against the wall, his hands on her waist, her hands tangled deep in her hair. was this his best decision? not even by a long shot.
it had been ages. so long since he had been with you. you never had the energy, always had some excuse as to why tonight wouldn't work, and it made him feel like a ticking bomb filled with pent up desire. need that just coursed through him, a need for you that he couldn't get out. no matter what he tried. he always said it was okay. that it was fine, but on the inside? he felt seconds away from exploding.
she called a cab, and it didn't end there. he knew it was a mistake, his mistake. he knew he should say no, push her away anything. he loved you. he did.
the door closed behind them with a thump as they stumbled through her apartment. lando barely paid attention as his mind tried to keep up. it wasn't until he felt her hands on her chest, and his knees against the edge of the bed that he realized what was going on.
his back hit the bed, he body suddenly over his when he placed his hands on her shoulder and cleared his throat.
"i'm sorry," he said while gently, but firmly, guiding her off him and sat up. "this is a mistake, i shouldn't be here."
he glanced over, taking in the mix of surprise and confusion on her expression, but she nodded. didn't try to argue. maybe she knew who he was, maybe she didn't. he couldn't find it in him to care at this moment. all he knew was he had to get back to you. explain, apologize, anything to make up for his stupidity.
he didn't wait around for much longer, just took a deep breath and got up from the bed and made his way back through the apartment he'd just stumbled through while kissing someone who wasn't his girlfriend.
the door closed with a soft click behind him when he finally stepped into the apartment he shared with you. the lights were off. the entire place quiet, except for the soft, almost muffled, sound of your snores coming from the bedroom.
he quietly took off his shoes, placed them by the front door, and slowly made his way further into the apartment. into the bathroom. splashed some water in his face before he undressed and took a cold shower, trying to wash off all the shame and guilt off. not that it worked, because when he stepped out, water dripping from his wet curls, he still felt like the world's worst boyfriend.
he didn't bother trying to dry his hair completely, just wrapped a towel around his hips as he went out of the bathroom and made his way to the kitchen where he got a glass and filled it with cold water, hoping it would make his mind a little less hazy. also didn't help.
after changing from the towel and into some clean clothes he could sleep in, he quietly made his way to the door to the shared bedroom. lando couldn't help but notice the door was left open with a crack. which meant you must have woken up after he left, because he closed it when he left.
lando's hand hovered over the handle, but he couldn't bring himself to go in. not after what he'd almost just done, so with a sigh, he turned around and flopped onto the couch. he closed his eyes, arm over his eyes as he slowly drifted off to sleep, plagued by the images of what he could have done.
he woke up the next morning to the sound of the coffee machine. probably just you making coffee like you always did in the morning. It was a sound he usually loved waking up to.
not this morning, though. because it meant he only had a few minutes to figure out if he was going to lie about what happened or tell you the truth.
when he went to sleep the night before, he thought he had made the decision to keep you from the truth. to not let it hurt you. because that was the last thing he wanted to do. hurting you felt like stabbing himself right in the heart, and he didn't know if h had the guts to do it.
however that all changed when he walked into the kitchen, hearing you hum a melody of a song you loved while preparing breakfast and coffee. lando knew right then, he couldn't lie to you.
"i kissed someone yesterday." his voice sounded like a stranger's to his own ears when he spoke up. he hadn't meant to lead with that, and he almost regretted it when he saw the way your body tensed at his words.
"why are you telling me this?" she asked. her voice was quiet, fragile, and vulnerable.
"because i don't want to lie to you. and i don't want you to hear it somewhere else first. i want to be honest with you." he knew how it might have sounded. like he was just afraid of getting caught. "i'm really sorry. i swear, it meant nothing."
he continued rambling, hoping that he could somehow fix this stupid mistake he made. because that was all he wanted. to fix anything that hurt you. no matter how much work it would take.
you weren't sure it that was possible. or if you could ever forgive him.
an: i'm gonna be so honest, majority of this was made while i was running on four hours of sleep and half a monster while i waited for something to do at work. i even have the receipts of having written it down on paper. i'm not entirely sure how i feel about this.
pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader
warnings: mentions of wishing a person dead, written in lowercase (don't know if this counts as a warning)
word count: 870
you stood in front of his door. the door you swore you would never see again. those words — the ones that had caused all of this — had been said in the heat of the moment, and you hadn't meant them. none of the words you said that night was how you truly felt.
like how you said you hated him.
how you said you wish you never met.
how you said you never wanted to see him again.
or how you had blurted out that you wish he'd died in that crash a couple years ago.
you had regretted those words immediately. the second they had left your mouth, but you hadn't taken them back. too caught up in your anger — and maybe a bit of pride.
but the truth was, you loved him. with every fiber of your being. sometimes you just had a habit of not thinking before you talked. probably one of your biggest flaws.
you weren't even sure he would open the door. you weren't sure if he would be happy to see you, or if he would slam the door in your face.
you took a deep breath before raising you hand and letting your knuckles meet the wood of his front door in three knocks.
then you waited.
and waited.
and waited some more.
you waited so long you considered if this was worthless. if he was even home. if this—
"what are you doing here?" his words came out harsh as the door swung open. his voice carried a hint of the hurt he was feeling. even if he was trying to mask it with indifference or anger. your heart ached at the sight, because you knew, you had caused this.
"i wanted to apologize," you said. your voice was quiet. low. vulnerable even. you hated apologizing, but you had to. you had been wrong, so wrong. this was a side of you only he had ever fully seen, and even then, you had a hard time getting out the words, but you pushed through, knowing it would be worth it. "i'm sorry for what i said. it was—"
"don't bother." his words cut through you like a knife. he didn't want to hear you apology, which meant he was probably never forgiving you either.
you didn't know what hurt more. knowing you caused him pain, or knowing you could never fix the biggest mistake of you life.
"Please, just—can you let me explain?" you tried, but it was hopeless. he was always closing the door and there was nothing you could do to stop it.
except one thing.
you knew it could backfire, but you had to try.
just before the door closed, you blurted out the three words you'd always been scared of using.
"i love you."
"don't you fucking dare," to your surprise, the door flew back open, and the face that met you was so filled with hurt, heartbreak and anger. "don't you dare say that now of all time."
you heard the way his voice cracked. you knew it was low. saying it now when you'd been scared of it for the entire two years you'd been dating.
but you also knew you meant it. and if this was truly the last time you would get to see him, you needed him to know.
"i just—i needed you to know. i was scared of committing, and saying 'i love you' seems like a pretty big commitment. but even just these few hours, knowing i hurt you," you hoped he wouldn't slam the door in your face again, although you wouldn't be surprised if he did. "it was the worst hours of my life, and it made me realize, that i love you, more than i ever care to admit, because it's almost embarrassing how much i love you," you took a deep breath before finishing. "i've realized that you're my entire world, and i'm so sorry for what i said earlier. you're my everything, charles. and i don't know what i'll do if i lose you." you finally looked up, meeting his eyes. the anger was still there, but there was a hint of something else, something you couldn't quite put your tongue on.
"i'm not ready to forgive you yet," he finally said. "i might never be ready. and you can't expect me to. you hurt me, more than anyone else." you could see the way he swallowed, like he wanted to say something more, but he stayed quiet. you wanted to ask, but you wanted to give him space.
"you know where to find me if you ever find it in your heart to forgive me." you took a step back, looking down at the ground as you took a deep breath. "let me know if you ever think of something i can do to make it up to you. i'll do anything." and with those words, you turned around and walked back home.
charles wanted to call out to you, to pull you back in his arms and hold you there forever, to tell you how much he loved you. but he couldn't. not yet, at least. he needed some time to think.
an: this is my first written fic in what? a year? maybe more? it's insane honestly, but this idea just came to me while i was listening to some old songs and then i finally sat down and wrote it in one night. blame my sleep deprivation if it sucks. sorry it took me a full year to finish another written fic. and sorry it took me 4/5 months to post something. i'm not going to promise it gets beter because it probably won't.
pairing: lando norris x ex!fem!reader
warnings: possible some slight stalker behavior, it's all written in lowercase because i couldn't be bothered (i'm sorry)
word count: 646
it was a bad race. a bad weekend overall. nothing had gone according to plan, and in all honesty, he had been a little distracted lately.
why, you may ask? well, because of you, obviously. it had been awhile since the breakup. too long if you asked lando.
he had tried to move on. had even tried dating other women to get over you, but none of it ever worked, because none of them were you.
the world felt empty without you, cold even. even when he tried finding solace from overfilled clubs he felt alone.
today wasn't any different. new club, new girls around him, same old music, same old sticky floor. he was drunk, and while he would love to find a woman to have fun with for the night, he kept thinking about you, imagining his hands were on your hips, that his lips were hovering over your neck. but it was never you. it was always other women, women he didn't truly care about. instead he found himself leaving the club and just wandering through the streets.
was it a coincidence that he'd chosen a club so close to your apartment? probably not entirely. maybe he had hoped he would bump into you. that you'd be out, maybe celebrating and he could see you again.
he took out his phone, considered calling someone to meet him back at his apartment, but as he scrolled, he saw your contact. the nickname he'd given you with a heart next to it even though he had told anyone that had asked that he was over you, even when he was so far from it.
he was walking by your apartment, the place that had once been his home too.
he looked up, noticing that the light was still on. he couldn't help but wonder what you were doing up so late.
he wished he could see you through the window. was that stalker behavior? maybe, but he didn't care. you had always been the prettiest girl he had ever seen. like you were from another planet. and he was just... him.
he knew he wasn't worthy of your love. he had faults, too many of them. and he'd never learnt how to be the guy you deserved, but god, had he tried. so hard.
he looked back up at the window, the memories of all the time he had spent there took up more space in his mind than he wanted.
there were roses in your window. some he hadn't seen before. had you moved on from him? did you have someone new? he hoped not.
someone pulled the curtains closed. he couldn't see who it was, but he hoped it was you. that you were alone, that you had gotten yourself those roses.
looking back at the street, he noticed an unknown car parked in front of your apartment complex. was he being paranoid? maybe but he couldn't help it. lando may not have been the man you deserved, but he sure as hell didn't want anyone else to be if it couldn't be him.
he walked up to the front door of the complex. looked at the names for the buzzers. one thing caught his attention. you had removed his name. he wasn't exactly shocked, but it still hurt him. he knew he should leave, that he shouldn't even be considering this, but still, his finger hovered over the buzzer for your apartment. your name made his heart ache.
with a deep sigh, he pulled back. he knew this was a bad idea. you weren't together anymore, and he was drunk. so he stepped back. stood on the other side of the street and looked up at the third floor, watched as the lights turned off, and he couldn't help but wonder if you were going to sleep alone.
this is sorta loosely based on a song from 2006 that i used to listen to all the time. i haven't made a written fic since my wattpad days back in 2019 so i'm not sure how good this is. can all be read as standalones but might be a little confusing.
warnings: kidnapping, swearing, death, drunk driving, murder, car crash, google translated french
this is my first time writing something like this, so please be nice :,) also this will include sort of cheating (not really sure what to classify it as), and for that i am going to be using pics of charles and alex, however do i see any alex hate you are blocked or something, thank you very much)
fc: sabrina carpenter
pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader x ???
inspired by: emails i can't send by sabrina carpenter
an: so... this has been in the works for an eternity, which you can tell by the timestamps in the first texts... i lowkey forgot about it. it's been a little over a year since this idea started in my head, then i did something a month after i got the idea and then i forgot about it for almost a year. sorry about that. I made this draft on april 23rd last year...
fc: maddie ziegler
pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader, dancer!reader
warnings: swearing, kinda fast paced (idk if that's supposed to be a warning, but now you know)
yourusername
liked by yoursister, yourbff & 3.720 others
yourusername been an eventful week lol
view all comments
yourbff i didn't even get photo creds? i'm hurt.
yourusername sorry, the caption was too long :)
yourbff bullshit, but alright
user1 the effortless leg hold? okay queen, get it. ❤️ by author
user2 she's got a vibe. i like it.
yoursister how come i was not invited?
yourusername you're my sister. you're never invited <3
yoursister rude >:(
yourusername hehe :)
charles_leclerc
liked by yourusername, lando & 2.592.641 others
charles_leclerc so i may or may not have gotten a puppy.
view all comments
carlossainz55 you got a puppy?
charles_leclerc i got a puppy.
carlossainz55 oh wow.
user3 charles getting a puppy is like my fav thing??
user4 same! like why is that so cute?
user5 okay but who's going to take care of it on race weekends?
user6 it's not like he can't travel with a puppy, and he could probably bribe arthur into taking care of it occasionally.
user5 okay fair point.
arthur_leclerc why do you have to bring me into this?
lando you better bring it. i wanna meet it.
charles_leclerc oh i'm bringing it.
oscarpiastri i better get to meet it too!
yourusername wait i wanna meet it too!
charles_leclerc
liked by arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri & 3.345.690 others
charles_leclerc so... turns out he likes to bite my nose?
view all comments
lando does that mean he likes me better?
carlossainz55 no me.
oscarpiastri no me.
pierregasly no me.
charles_leclerc no none of you.
user7 i think that's the cutest dog i've ever seen
user8 i think that's the cutest human i've ever seen.
yourusername very right about that
yourusername
liked by yourbff, charles_leclerc & 2.473 others
yourusername i did a thing...
📷: yourbff
view all comments
yourbff at least i was invited this time.
yoursister i feel betrayed.
yourusername i'm not rich. i couldn't afford THREE tickets.
charles_leclerc just ask ;)
user8 did anyone see charles' comment before it was deleted? 🤨
user9 i think you're delusional.
user10 wish it was me 😞💔 ❤️ by author
⤷ charles_leclerc for me? 🙃
yourusername maybe 🤭
⤷ yourbff girl...
yourusername i can't help it...
yourbff i'm ready to sacrifice my soul to help you.
yourusername please don't 😭
charles_leclerc
liked by yourusername, alex_albon & 3.006.075 others
charles_leclerc i did a thing...
view all comments
lando yo what.
carlossainz55 and you didn't even tell me?
pierregasly i would like to inform everyone, i knew.
charles_leclerc bullshit.
pierregasly why did you ruin my fun? do you hate me?
user11 oh wow
user12 she looks pretty, from the back.
user13 i'm sure she's just with him for the money and fame.
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff & 4.293 others
yourusername i did a thing.
view all comments
yourbff babe....
yourusername what?
yourbff you used the same photo..
yourusername oh.
user14 OMG THE MATCHING CAPTIONS
user15 this is the cutest thing ever 🥹
charles_leclerc well i guess it's not much of a secret anymore
the past few days have made me realize an interesting aspect about Lando's so-called "fans".
the first thing we have to take into consideration before anything else is the different tracks that make up the calendar.
even though Lando had an amazing race weekend in Australia, Shanghai is a very different type of track, with a lot more downforce than Albert Park.
Shanghai has also been completely resurfaced, and the overall design of the circuit requires a specific type of driving style from all the drivers
what does that mean? that means that we cannot transcribe the quali and race pace we saw in McLaren last weekend to this weekend as well, because the tracks are very different.
Lando has always said that his driving style does not suit the Shanghai circuit, and it's been very difficult for him to put together a clean lap and be consistent during races.
now that we got that out of the way, let's talk about Sprint Quali.
nobody is denying that we know Lando could have done better and we know that he is capable of delivering a much better result than the one he did, but that does not mean that we no longer support him.
i've seen a lot of "fans" suddenly call him untalented, disappointing, washed, not worthy of being in F1, which is honestly appalling to me.
supporting a driver does not only include the highs and the moments of glory, but also moments like this one, when things might not go completely our way and the way we want them to.
if you're going to stand behind a driver and support him, you should do it unconditionally, no matter the results that he brings.
no matter how many points he scores, no matter how many wins he gets, no matter what place he finishes a race, none of it matters. why? because we support him no matter what, we're there for him no matter what, we love him no matter what.
he could be dead last every single race and i would still support the shit out of him, because that's my driver no matter what.
you people who are so willing to stop cheering him on and supporting him because of one bad day, don't deserve to call yourselves his fans.
please, please do better.
this is not the attitude to go about in F1.
please do better. he deserves our unconditional support.
i miss daniel i miss daniel i miss daniel so much oh my god i miss him i miss him does this hurt get better does it get better i miss him i wanna see him i wanna see him happy i wanna see him be celebrated i wanna see him be loved and awarded and i miss daniel
I hope your favorite driver(s) NEVER has to endure the treatment that Lando has received for simply *existing*. It's honestly heartbreaking that people think this behavior is okay.
Maybe I'm an outlier, but hate towards ANY driver is wrong.
an: i still don't really know how much i like to make written fics, but i have ideas for them so i'm going to continue to try and write them, i think. my first language is NOT english, so sorry if there's any mistakes <3
pairing: lando norris x fem!reader, vasseur!reader (this is gonna be fun, lowkey not important, gets mentioned like a few times because i forgot)
warnings: swearing, not proofread, jumps between present and past tense because i'm an idiot
inspired by: mine - taylor swift
word count: 6.2k
As she’s being dragged to another race, she wonders when her dad is going to realize she's always running off and never in the garage of his own team, she doesn’t know that he’s fully aware she’s never there. She’s been welcomed by everyone she’s visited though, which does make him happy. She mostly goes to Mercedes and Red Bull, but lately Mclaren has been looking quite interesting.
“Are you going to stay in the Ferrari garage today? Or am I gonna have to send someone over to Red Bull or Mercedes to find you?" Fred looks at yn with a playful smile.
“I didn’t think you noticed.” She's quite shocked. He always seemed to switch off being a dad whenever they stepped into the garage, so it never even occurred to her that he even wanted her there.
“Who do you think sends someone after you at the end of the day?” He turns back around as they get closer, “I think you, Charles and Carlos would be great friends if you gave them a chance,” they turn and walk into the Ferrari hospitality. “Oh speaking of boys, have you found a boyfriend I need to approve of?” He quickly looks back to see her surprised face before he turns back to see where he’s going, even though he could probably navigate it blindfolded.
“Well first of all, you wouldn’t need to approve of him, this isn’t the middle age,” yn lets out a small laugh, “and second, all of my relationships have failed, you’re partly to blame for pulling me to almost every race, and then I guess I’m just not girlfriend material.” She follows her dad around, because even if she does get pulled to all races, she usually doesn't hang out here for more than 5 minutes before she’s off to find Max or George.
“Chérie, anyone not willing to spend the short time you're home isn’t worth your time,” he stops in his track turns around and puts a hand on her shoulder, “and I’m not sure if I ever said it, but if you truly would prefer to stay home and only travel to a few, that is fine. I would understand.”
She gives him a reassuring smile, “I know. You wouldn’t have been able to drag me out of the house if I didn't truly want to be here.”
He gives one quick smile before continuing walking, and before she knows it, she’s left to herself because he’s needed for something important.
.✦ ݁˖
It doesn’t take long for Charles to spot yn, sitting by herself, because apparently everyone else is busy today. “Yn? what are you doing here? I thought you’d be off doing something with Max?” Charles looks around to see if Max is around and he just hadn't seen him, but it’s a lost cause, which he should have realized, Max wouldn’t be seen anywhere near anything related to Ferrari. Except for Charles of course.
“No he’s busy. Everyone suddenly got busy.” She looks back down at her phone and the messages between her and her friend, however it would be rude to text back while Charles is in front of her, so she turns it off and stuffs it in her pocket. “I don't really remember the last time everyone, well except for you I guess, was busy at the same time.”
“Well, I’m meeting Lando and Oscar for lunch, do you want to join us?” Charles asks with a smile, flashing some cute dimples. Not that anything could ever happen between the two. As attractive as Charles may be, her dad was his boss, and nothing good was going to come out of that.
“I think I’d like that,” she smiles back as she picks up her bag with her essentials, “it’s nothing fancy right? I didn’t really get dressed for something over the top.” She looks down at the ripped jeans and the oversized t-shirt that she’s wearing. Not exactly the cutest outfit.
.✦ ݁˖
“So you still live with your dad?” Oscar asks curiously, they all seemed fairly happy she was invited by Charles. And Oscar, who she hadn’t really spent any time with, has been asking a lot of questions.
“I do. I may be 21, but living at home is just a little easier. And I like spending time with my dad, even if I run off to other teams at the first chance I get.” She answers as she takes another bite of her food. Lando has been awfully quiet and it didn’t go over yn’s head. She was fully aware of how glued his eyes were to his food.
“Is it weird? That your dad is responsible for a Formula 1 team?” Oscar almost forgets to eat, because of all the questions he’s asking.
“It was in the beginning, but I've gotten used to it by now,” she takes a sip of water. “Is he always this quiet?” yn looks at the way Lando is poking his food “and is he always just poking his food?” She questions, making Lando's eyes move up for just a split second and then back down to his food.
“No. He’s usually pretty chatty, maybe he’s just nervous for tomorrow," Oscar says, finally eating some of his food. “He doesn’t usually get like this before a race though,” Oscar leans his head a little to the side as if thinking about it, before poking a finger in Lando’s side making him jump a little. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” Oscar asks.
“Maybe he’s got a new crush,” Charles jokes, taking a bite of food just as Lando suddenly coughs and gulps down water.
“Are you okay?” Yn asks as Lando suddenly gets up from his chair avoiding any and all eye contact.
“No, I’m actually not feeling so great. I think I’ll have to cut this short if I want to be good to go by tomorrow.” He quickly gathers his things as everyone looks confused. “Bye!” And then he’s out of there.
“Well that was weird.” Oscar says as he goes back to eating
“Do you think it was me?” Yn looks at the rest of the men sitting around the table, a little sad that she may have ruined their lunch.
Charles smiles. “Yes,” he says, looking at yn, “but in a good way. I think I might be right, even if it was just a joke.” He lets out a laugh. “I’m sure there’s some truth to it.” He goes back to eating, and so does yn, deciding that maybe she’ll talk to Lando in private.
.✦ ݁˖
On his way back to the hotel, Lando struggles to figure out his emotions. Of course yn is absolutely gorgeous. But considering she’s Fred's daughter he wouldn’t dare to think of her as anything but a friend. He may not race for Ferrari, but he still has a lot of respect for the man. And Lando knows about his reputation of not being able to keep his relationships going for long. Hopefully he can just subtly ignore her. Because the feelings, and thoughts he had during that lunch were not friendly. And before he even considers anything, he needs to make sure his feelings for her are romantic, and not just him finding her pretty.
.✦ ݁˖
Lando spent close to 4 months avoiding yn to the best of his abilities, and when he wasn’t ready and she caught him off guard he made up some weird excuse about needing to look at data, test the car, try some new Mclaren merch for photoshoots. Yn usually knew they were lies, and wondered why Lando was so set on avoiding her. To be quite honest, it brought down her mood, and she spent more and more time in the Ferrari garage and hospitality. Her dad sensed something was wrong. She was rarely there and suddenly she never left? Something was going on and he was going to get the bottom of it.
“I see you’re spending time here today,” Fred sat across from yn. She was eating lunch. Alone. That was how she spent most of her time lately. All alone. Lando had unknowingly made her really anti-social.
“I guess.” She poked a little at the salad she had bought. She didn’t really want it anymore.
“Did the others have plans?” Fred asked, looking around.
“I’m not sure.”
“Is something bothering you?” Fred asked, concerned for her daughter who used to have a lot to talk about. A lot of people to talk to, and who never spent time at lunch alone in Ferrari.
“Nope.” Fred sighed. He wasn’t going to get any answers. If it was because she genuinely just didn’t feel like talking today or if there was something wrong, he wasn’t sure. But he was gonna ask Max, or maybe Lewis to talk to her. He didn’t want her to be lonely. He got up from his chair. He had to get this started immediately.
Fred’s quest to find Lewis was surprisingly easy. He found the soon-to-be Ferrari driver hanging out with Charles and Carlos near their own garage. “Lewis! Can we talk?” Fred called out before he reached them. Lewis just nodded and started walking towards Fred.
“Is it about my contract?” Lewis asked cautiously. He knew he hadn’t been performing that great in the Mercedes this year and was afraid Fred was going to only make it a year so he could be finished with him.
“No. I need you to talk to yn. She's suddenly spending a lot of time with Ferrari, but alone. Which, as you may know, isn’t where, or how, she usually spends her time.'' Fred looks really concerned, and it’s like it’s transferred to Lewis immediately. He’s known yn ever since her dad started dragging her along. She would usually spend time with George when she went to Mercedes, but sometimes when George wasn’t there and she just wanted to be somewhere else, Lewis and yn would play some games. Usually chess. Lewis was definitely better than yn but she still loved it. They could often lose track of time and suddenly one from the Mercedes team would come and get Lewis to either do some media related stuff or because it was time to get ready for a race.
“Of course! Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her around Mercedes for quite some time now. I’ll see what I can do, if I can't figure it out, I'll have Max ask her. They’ve always had quite a special bond I don't understand” Lewis gives the man a reassuring smile and a clap on the shoulder “Don’t worry, we’ll get her back to her talkative self very soon.”
“Thanks Lewis,” Fred looks relieved, but only for a second when his eyes widen. “Do you think Max did something to her? To make her feel this way?” He looks around as if he's scanning the surroundings for Max. And good thing he isn’t around. It wouldn’t have been a good outcome.
“I doubt it. He’s always been nice. Especially to her,” when he realizes how that may sound to the man in front of him and the way his eyes narrow, he quickly adds “as a friend. Not romantically. I’m pretty sure he’s actually in a relationship.” Fred seems to almost relax at those words and gives Lewis a quick pat on the shoulder
“Hurry up and get my daughter back. I miss her.” and with that he walks off. Hopefully not to find Max. And if so, Lewis sure is glad he isn’t Max right now.
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When Lewis finally finds yn sitting just on the outside of the track he’s surprised she was allowed. But then again she probably just mentioned being Fred's daughter and she was allowed. “Hey there. Looking cozy. Mind if I join you?” He doesn’t wait for a response, just sits down next to her on the grass.
“What do you want?” She asks. Not really feeling the company right now.
“You haven’t been spending much time with George lately. Have you been spending more time with Max?”
“No.” Straight to the point. But not really the point Lewis was looking for.
“Have you been spending time with Charles and Carlos? Since you’re spending so much time with Ferrari at the moment?”
“Would that be a crime?” She looks at Lewis, and he sees something different. Her eyes don't look as alive as they usually do. They’re missing the glow that makes yn herself.
“Yn, is something wrong? You know you can talk to me. Or Max,” he waits for a second, not sure if he should continue, but as she starts plucking at the grass without answering he decides she needs to know. “Your dad is worried about you.”
“Oh.” She answers, plucking a few more grass straws
“Did something happen?” Lewis asks, trying a different approach.
“I don't know. Maybe you should ask Lando.” Lewis is unsure what Lando has to do with this entire situation, but he promised Fred to get to the bottom of it, so he will.
“Did he do anything?” Lewis is ready to fight Lando. “If so, I’ll gladly talk to him”
“Well, maybe he’ll talk to you,” yn shrugs and gets up from the grass. “I have no idea what I did to him. He seemed happy enough about me being invited to join him, Oscar, and Charles for lunch a couple months ago, and then during lunch he was so quiet, barely looking up from his food and then he suddenly said he wasn’t feeling great and needed to leave.” Yn turns around and looks at Lewis, tears starting to form in her eyes. “He has ignored me ever since. Every time I’ve tried to talk to him he either runs away or makes up some dumb excuse to get away from me,” she wraps her arms around herself as if to protect herself. “I’m sorry,” she says, shakes her head and turns around again and starts walking away. “I shouldn't have put all of this on you. I'm probably just overthinking it anyway.”
"Wait!" Lewis is quick to get up from the grass and gets a hold of yn’s arm, ”I’m glad you told me. Let me talk to Lando. See if I can figure out why he’s avoiding you. Maybe there’s a reason,” yn smiles a small smile, but it’s better than the empty expressions she's had lately. “Nice to see you’re still capable of smiling.” Lewis returns it with a smile of his own and guides her towards the Mclaren hospitality. “Now let’s get to the bottom of this.”
“Thank you. Not just for this, but also for always putting up with my bullshit.” Yn looks straight ahead. She wasn’t exactly planning on saying any of that, but oh well. It won’t hurt anyone.
Lewis just laughs and pushes her lightly. “You should be grateful. It's impossible to keep putting up with it.” If he wasn’t laughing while saying it, she would have been hurt, but she just laughs with him and follows him, to hopefully get some answers from Lando.
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Lando was not expecting to see Lewis, so he wasn’t able to run off as quickly as he usually does, and when he spots yn behind Lewis, he tries to make up some excuse about having to talk to an engineer about a possible car problem but Lewis stops him. “Lando. That’s enough.” He puts a hand on Lando's shoulder before he gets a chance to run off. “Why do you keep running away from yn?”
Lando sighs, he can’t run away from it anymore. “I kinda would prefer for this conversation to happen between just me and yn.” He runs a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck.
Lewis looks back at yn, then at Lando, then back at yn, “are you fine with that?” He asks, while she nods and follows Lando into his drivers room
“So," Lando starts, not really sure how to get the conversation going.
“Why have you been ignoring me for the past 4 months?” Yn asks, wanting to get this solved as soon as possible. “Did I say something that upset you so much during lunch that day?” Yn can feel the tears threatening to spill over, but she would like to get through this conversation without crying.
“No! Oh my god. Not at all!” He turns around because he’s not sure he can look at her while telling her this. “I think I might, sort of, have feelings for you.” The room is filled with silence. Lando is almost afraid she ran out of the room, If it wasn't for the fact he could hear her breathing.
“So you decided the best action was to avoid me?” Yn asks, with a playful grin. If she had known this was all it was she would have had someone talk to him earlier.
Her playful tone makes Lando turn around with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored you or run off every time you tried talking to me. I was just afraid I would end up spilling a full love confession, and I’m not sure your dad would be too happy with that.”
“Well he doesn’t get a say in my love life.” Yn closes the distance between her and Lando.
“I suppose you’re right.” Lando takes a step forward, making the distance between them smaller.
“So are you going to be doing anything about it?” Yn tilts her head slightly.
“When I have planned it,” Lando smiles and takes a step back as he feels a vibration in his pocket. “Damn, I actually do have to go now,” a text from his engineer asking him to come back for a meeting. Lando grins and walks towards the door, “but you're totally free to stay here until I’m back. And trust me, I’ll be spending the entire meeting planning the perfect way to ask you out.” He flashes a quick smile before he's out of the door and yn is left alone in the room. But this time being all alone is different. She doesn't feel all alone. She’s the happiest she’s been in four months.
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“I have the perfect plan.” Lando and Oscar are doing a track walk just to have something to do and make sure the track is fresh in their memory for the practice the next day.
“Yeah?” Oscar isn’t really sure it’s going to be as perfect as Lando thinks it is. “Are you totally sure about that?” He questions, raising an eyebrow, while taking in the surroundings of Monaco.
“I’m 100% sure.” Lando nods. He knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s in fact not going to ask directly. He’s made a fun little game, and got a few drivers in on it. “Just promise me to not ruin it when she comes to you.” Oscar sighs. He obviously isn’t going to spoil it.
“How are you going to ask her? If you aren’t doing it directly.”
“That’s a surprise.” And no matter how much Oscar pushes, Lando doesn't tell. Just smiles and shakes his head.
The next day when yn arrives at the paddock Alex greets her as soon as she’s arrived. “For you.” He says and hands her a letter.
“For me?” Her face is full of confusion as she opens the letter.
“Dear yn, I’ve made a little scavenger hunt for you. I hope you’re going to have fun. At the end you’ll find a surprise. Here’s the first clue.”
That’s the end of the letter. “So what's the clue?” If anything she's even more confused now, it doesn’t even say who it's from. It could be from George. But she doubts it. He’s never done anything like this before.
“Oh right, I almost forgot,” Alex rushes and pulls a small lego car from his backpack. more specifically a Mclaren lego car.
“So I'm guessing I have to go to Mclaren?” She questions and looks at Alex who just shrugs. So that’s where she heads to next. Who knows how long this is going to last. She does think it’s going to be fun though. She’s always loved clues.
As she gets closer to the Mclaren garage she finds Oscar standing looking around holding a letter in his hand. As he notices her, he walks towards her. “Here. From a mystery man.” He says, hands her the letter and walks off trying to look mysterious.
Yn laughs and opens the letter. This time, there’s no text. Just a card. “Happy fathers day.” She reads out loud. That’s all the card says. “I guess that means i’ll have to go to my dad?” She wonders out loud. Would this person involve her dad? Would her dad want to be involved? “Hm, probably just ferrari.” She says as she notices the card is mostly red.
She walks over to the Ferrari garage but can't find anything and decides it might be at the hospitality. As she enters the building she notices Carlos standing with a smile on his face and a whistle in his hands. “Here you go.” He hands her the whistle as she reaches him.
“That's it? Not a letter? Anything to guide me more than-'' she looks down at the whistle now in her hand, “a whistle?” She looks back up at Carlos who looks around.
“Consider the first letter of the whistle.” He whispers and quickly walks off, whistling.
“The first letter of whistle is w. So..” she thinks for a second. “Williams?” She laughs and quickly walks over to the Williams hospitality, but to her surprise finds no one, and decides it must be their garage then.
Here she finds Logan happily holding a small boat toy. “For you.” He says and hands it to her. Happy to be included. She smiles and wonders if this is the last one.
“Thank you, Logan.” She sends him a smile and walks to the dock to find a boat. Not really sure which type of boat, big or small. But she’s determined to find it.
When she gets to the dock, she fears it’s going to take a long time, until she spots Charles casually sitting on a yacht. As she approaches she notices a full basket of red bulls sitting beside him. “I guess I’m going back to the track. To Red Bull. Their garage?” She is sure to get those 10k steps she’s supposed to get every day.
“Yeah, if you want something to drink on your walk, I have plenty,” he pushes the basked towards yn and gestures for her to bring it, “in fact, let me join you on the way back, I was only sent here to give you the clue, and I don't drink Red Bull, so I can return it.” He smiles and gets up, taking the basket full of cans. “Are you having fun so far?” Charles starts walking back towards the track with yn following.
“Yeah. It’s a lot of fun,” she answers as she opens a can of the regular Red Bull, "I'm excited to see who set all of this up though” she looks ahead and takes a sip of the can.
“I can’t wait for you to see who arranged it,” he says. And that’s all he says. Yn tries to get more clues about who it is, but Charles’ mouth is shut. He’s not letting anything slip. And they arrive at Red Bull way earlier than yn was expecting so she doesn't get nearly enough time to interrogate Charles about who it is.
“I see you’ve come to terms with the fact Red Bull is the best.” Max teases as Charles and yn are within hearing range of a normal voice. While holding a bouquet of flowers?
“Ha ha ha,” Charles smiles, as he hands Max the basket full of red bull cans, “I’m just keeping yn company, and decided to return these as I won’t be able to drink them.” Charles laughs and gets into a conversation with Max until yn clears her throat, reminding them she’s still there.
“I’m looking for a clue,” she says, begging that it's close to being over because she’s tired of walking from one side of the track to another over and over.
“Oh right,” Max hands her the bouquet of flowers he was holding. She takes them in her hand and her eyebrows furrow.
“What kind of clue is this?” She looks at Max whose eyes go wide.
“I forgot this.” He pulls a letter out from his pocket and hands it to her.
“Another letter. Is this the last one? I don't know how much more walking I can do.” She looks so defeated but reads the note.
“If you received this letter, that means you figured out all the clues. I know you were just there, but you can find me on Charles’ yacht. Where the big surprise is waiting.”
She looks up as she finishes reading. “He’s got to be kidding. I swear to fucking god, if this is George and he just made me walk from that yacht, back to the track and then back to that stupid yacht i’m going to go insane.” You look back at the letter.
“My yacht isn’t stupid.” Charles pouts as Max hits him on the arm. “Ow?”
Yn sighs, “I guess I’ll get going. Thanks for the flowers I suppose.”
“Oh they were not from me. They were from him. Just hurry up,” Max looks down at his phone, “practice starts kinda soon, and he can’t be late.” Yn starts walking back towards the yacht. She can't wait to kill the man that made her walk this much.
Lando however has been setting everything up ever since yn and Charles left. Strawberries covered in chocolate, and since he doesn't like chocolate, strawberries without chocolate, candles on a small table on the sun deck. As yn gets closer, Lando walks down to greet her. “I swear to fucking god George if this is yo-” her sentence gets cut short as soon as she sees Lando. “You set all of this up?”
“Yeah. You didn’t seem to like it that much?” Lando rubs the back of his neck. He wasn’t the best planner of a scavenger hunt.
“I kinda wasn’t the biggest fan of walking all the way out here, back to the track and then back here again.” She crosses her arms, but seeing the concerned look on Lando’s face she relaxes her arms and walks onto the yacht with a huge smile. “It was still kinda fun.”
They spend a little while on the boat, sitting with their feet almost touching the ocean. Lando is not really sure if he should put an arm around her or not. He decides not to move too quickly and they just sit next to each other. “Oh I almost forgot,” she turns and looks at Lando. “I was supposed to tell you to hurry up, practice starts soon and you can’t be late,” she looks down at the strawberries, “but you distracted me.”
“Oh shit!” He gets up quickly and puts his shoes on, “meet me at the track! I would love to spend some time with you between practice 1 and 2!” He hurries up and practically runs all the way to the track.
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For the next couple of weeks Lando spends a lot of time wondering how quickly to move forward. They spend a lot of time sitting near water, almost like the first time, except they don't have access to Charles' yacht every day. Every time Lando wonders if he should put an arm around her, but he never does. Until one day, when they’ve been sitting at the end of the gangway on the dock, their feet so close to the water, if they stretched them out their toes would be dipped in the water, and Lando’s arm comes closer and closer to making its way around yn.
“Just do it already,” she says and leans on him, putting her head on his shoulder, “I've been waiting for the last many weeks for you to do it.” Lando can’t help but let out a small laugh and put his arm around her.
“I wasn’t sure if you even wanted it.” He looks down at her quickly before looking back at the water.
“I've been waiting for you to make some sort of move, so I knew if it would be appropriate to do this.” She says, as she sits back up straight and puts her hands on Lando’s cheeks and pulls his face closer. He puts his hands on her waist and pulls her closer while making sure none of them fall into the water. Her lips meet his softly, a tentative brush that sends a wave of electricity through her body. The kiss deepened, growing in confidence, and everything else faded away. All that existed was the two of them.
When they finally break apart, Lando puts his forehead against hers, a smile stuck on his face. He would never be able to forget this moment, and she wouldn’t either. “I’ve dreamed of this moment ever since that time Charles invited you to lunch.” Lando shares, not aware that yn has shared the same feeling since he shared that he had feelings for her.
“I was sure you’d do something about it sooner.” Yn lets out a small laugh and leans against Lando’s shoulder as he puts his arm around her.
“I was too afraid you didn't want to,” he says and lets out a sigh. “And I guess I just never thought to just ask.”
“Well, you should have.” She smiles, before looking up at him, and he can’t help but smile back. They sit like that for a while. Just enjoying each other's company.
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A couple weeks later, when they’re lying on the couch in Lando’s apartment, watching a movie, yn can’t help but smile, thinking about this moment, and how she never thought this would be a reality in her life. “Can you believe it?” She says in a soft whisper, her voice barely even audible.
“Believe what?” Lando asks, while his other hand mindlessly runs through the soft strands of her hair.
“This. Us. I never thought I’d be in such a happy relationship while traveling so much.” She says, softly tracing small circles on the back of his hand, that’s draped across her waist.
“Well I’m glad you're happy,” He says, placing a kiss on the top of her head, earning a soft hum from the woman. “You know, you could bring some stuff here. Just enough for a drawer if you don’t want to get too serious.” He mumbles, nuzzling his head into the crook of her neck.
She can’t help but smile, because she had been thinking of asking. “That would be nice, especially considering how much time I spend here.” She brings his hand up to her lips and places a soft kiss there, before going back to the movie.
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It didn't take long for her to basically move in. It wasn’t official, but it might as well have been. She spent more time there than she did at her own home. But Lando didn’t mind. In fact, he loved having her there. They even started spending time together publicly, whether that was around Monaco when it wasn’t a race week, or if it was in the paddock. The fans had noticed how close they had gotten, and speculation quickly began. Were they a couple? Just friends? No one knew. Did Fred? No. But he wasn’t stupid, he knew something was going on, but he didn’t want to ask. But he didn’t mind, as long as yn was happy. And she was, for the first couple of months. And then it seemed like Lando had other priorities. Of course she knew racing was important to him, and she didn’t expect to suddenly be on the absolute top of his priority list, that would always be F1 and she knew that. However, that didn’t stop the feeling of neglect starting to spread through her. She knew he had a packed schedule, but she would often find herself wishing he had more time for her, yet it just seemed he got less and less time for her.
As the relationship between them progresses, small arguments make it to the surface. Usually sparked by the fact yn feels unimportant, or that Lando misses a date or an anniversary. It’s never his intention, and he always makes it clear that he loves her, but as it continues to get worse and worse, she begins to question it. She even stops believing him 100%.
It was 2 am. Lando had just returned back to the hotel after the race in Singapore. He silently opened the door to the room he was sharing with yn, expecting her to already be sound asleep on the bed, but to his surprise she was sitting up, leaning against the headboard with the bedside lamp on.
“Can we talk?” She asks, her voice soft but filled with a hint of vulnerability.
“Of course.” Lando quickly closes the door and walks over to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Look, I know racing is extremely important to you, that it’s everything to you, but,” she pauses for a moment, not really sure how he’s going to take this. “What about us?” She asks, her voice shaking slightly.
“I know it’s been tough, and I’ve not been the best, but I’m under a lot of pressure right now,” Lando looks up at her and he can see the way his words hurt, and he can’t help the defensive tone that creeps into his voice. “I didn’t have a choice.”
“Didn’t have a choice? You’ve always had a choice! You chose to sign up for all those PR events. All the additional promotional videos. Do you know how it feels to always be the last thing on your mind?” Her voice raises a little as the frustration takes over, and she searches Lando’s eyes for a reaction, just some sort of reaction.
“I never wanted you to feel that way,” Lando sighs and looks her in the eye, he genuinely never wanted her to feel like she was his last priority. “But this is my career, it’s what I’ve worked towards my entire life.”
“And where do I fit into that? When you talk about your future, you’re talking about your next race, the next podium, the next win. I can’t continue to just sit back and wait for you to finally have time for me. I can’t continue to just be a spectator in your life, Lando.” The hurt is visible on her face, and she turns away momentarily to look out the window. The rain is subtly falling outside, and small drops of water roll down the window.
“I thought you understood when we got together.” He says, trying to defend himself. “This is my life, my dream. I never wanted you to feel like you're not important.” His voice softens, but his tone is still defensive as he tries to avoid addressing the core issue.
“I did understand. And I’ve been nothing but supportive, but it’s been months of you forgetting a date, or something else. And I’m not asking you to quit racing, I would never do that. All I’m asking is that I become a priority too. Because right now it feels like you’ve made a choice. And it’s not me.” Tears start to swell up in yn's eyes, and Lando is at a loss for words. He never wanted it to get to this point, but he doesn’t know what to say. He looks away, and that’s the last straw for yn. She swings her legs off the bed and grabs her suitcase that she packed as soon as she returned from the race, since they were planning to leave early in the morning anyway. “I’ll give you some time to think about all of this. But I won’t be waiting forever. Figure out if this is something you want. Because I can’t keep doing this.” And with those words she leaves the hotel room, and into the elevator.
She walks out into the rain, with tears flowing freely from her eyes. She stops and takes a deep breath. She doesn’t want it to end between her and Lando, but she also can’t continue to just be a bystander in her own relationship. As she grabs her suitcase and is about to begin walking she hears Landos voice. “Wait!”
She turns around and sees him walking in long strides toward her, the rain already drenching his hair. “I don't want to lose you. I’ll never leave you alone again,” he says as he reaches her. “I remember how it felt when we were sitting by the water on our first unofficial date. Every time I look at you, it’s like I’m seeing you for the first time all over again. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He places a hand on her cheek and gently rubs his thumb along her cheekbones. “Please don’t leave. We’ll make it work. I’ll make time for you. You’ll be my first priority, I promise.”
She looks up at him with an aching heart at the raw emotion in his voice. For a moment she wants to believe him, to just forget all the missed moments, but the pain is still too much.
“You say that now, but what happens when life gets busy again?” She asks in a whisper, her voice shaking as she speaks. “What happens when I become the last thing on your mind again because something else takes priority?”
Lando’s hand trembles slightly against her cheek, but he doesnt pull away, and neither does she. The rain falls a little harder, and their breaths are visible in the cool air of the night.
“I won't let that happen.” His voice is filled with an urgency, a need, that she’s never heard before. “I know i’ve failed you, but this time-”
“”This time,” she interrupts him and takes a step back, resulting in his hand slipping from her cheek. “How do I know this time is any different?” She looks at him with tearfilled eyes, waiting for an answer she might not want. But it doesn’t come. Instead, Lando takes a step closer and his eyes are filled with so much love and hope.
“Because this time, I know what it’s like to lose you,” his voice is trembling and he pauses for a moment, searching for the right words. “And I can’t. I can't lose you.”
