To live is to pursue your dreams. @leedtimmy - Tumblr Blog

The First Impression

Process of meeting someone in this hooking up dating culture means that chances of finding an emotional connection are slim to none. Finding a person who tries to match your energy to a tea, laugh at your jokes, being able to express themselves effectively and be embarrassing with you in public without being afraid of what anyone thinks. Finding something like that is like holding lost treasure.

Like a good book, you close your eyes. You never expect it to be this good when picking it up, but now you can feel the printed words seeping through your skin and veins after each page, rushing towards your heart and marking it forever.

I want to savor these wonders; this happening of loving a book and reading it for the very first time, because the first time is always the best, and I will never read this book for the first time again.

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I like drinking coffee alone, reading my books alone, riding on the bus way back alone, it gives me time to set my mind free

But when I see a mother with her daughter, a woman with her lover, or two best friends laughing at absolute nonsense, I realise that even though I like being alone, I don't fancy being lonely.

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The world continues to spin either way, right?

I’ve been having such weird thoughts lately. Like, journaling the last thing I’d want my friends and family to find if I ever leave for good. What would I even say? What would I want them to know or how can I tell them that none of it has to do with them and that I’m happier wherever I ended up. I’m probably the strongest person that I know in this world and I’m very good at staying positive so that no one ever worries about me. None of my friends or family knows what kills me inside and I refuse to talk about it with anyone or get help from a therapist because I believe I’m way smarter than they are so they’d be no help to me. These emotions that I feel all the time where I can’t express in words suck and I’ve distracted myself by doing so many things this world has to offer but I’m still an empty shell of a person in the end. I have a ton of hobbies, I travel the world, I’m disciplined and consistent in everything I do, and I’m my own boss. So why does the thought of leaving everything behind sound so much more peaceful..?

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Past Lives (2023)

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“I think I’m falling for you.”

I really want to experience a slow burn love. The kind of love that goes beyond the initial spark of attraction. It's the type of love that takes time to grow. And though there might not be overwhelming chemistry at first, while slow burn love grows, it quietly roots into our hearts and minds.

The saying, “you can’t love anyone until you love yourself” is bullshit.

I’ve always hated myself— but by god did I love you.

I loved you so much I forgot what it was like to hate myself.

For you I could have remade this world into a better place, rearrange the stars to shine brighter upon us.

With you my world turned into a field of sunflowers.

Now I just hate myself even more.