childhood best friend to crush hyunjin
pairing: hwang hyunjin & you
summary: hyunjin spends his childhood taking care of you and watches you grow by his side
notes: thank you for your request anon! <3
even at a young age hyunjin had a special presence that caught the attention of most people
he had been your neighbor since you were both four years old and spent most of his days playing outside along with his cars and dirt
you would sit against the window and watch him with a lot of curiosity until one day you decided it was your time to go and make a friend
your little feet carried you in front of the boy and he looked up at you while you waved your stubby hand awkwardly
“my mom said i’m not supposed to tell strangers my name.”
“it’s okay, we’re going to be friends so i’m not a stranger.”
“oh okay. my name is hyunjin.”
an awkward silence passed as you both studied each other, trying to decide if it was worthy of befriending the other
and finally after a few minutes he gave you a small toothy grin and motioned for you to sit down next to him
“since you’re my friend, you can play with me.”
and from that day on you found yourself following the poor boy around
everyday at 3 pm to 5 pm you found yourself stalking outside to meet him and he would be expectant of your arrival
and as more time passed by you just became his shadow
every step he took, you took one behind him
but he enjoyed your company greatly and allowed you to stay by his side
he would come over every afternoon to play with you and your dog...mostly your dog
but thats okay because he was a good friend to you and made you happy
“look, i brought you cookies from the jar in my kitchen. but don’t tell my mom i got them for you.” and he would cautiously dump a handful into your hands
his mom always noticed but pretended that she didn’t because it was cute and he was being nice to yo
even if hyunjin would knock over 500 things in the kitchen trying to get to the jar
because he was an only child and his mother worried about the lack of friends he had and having you come around was really nice
and in return you would sneak some of your toys to his house and play together
on the first day of school your parents agreed to take turns taking both of you to school together
and every morning before school he would be sitting on your couch watching tv waiting for your mom to finish dressing you while chewing on a bunch of fruit
“good morning you rotten egg.” hyunjin would smile and stick his tongue out at you before getting up and racing you to the car
and at the gates of the school he held your hand and led you in so confidently
and thats how you both grew up
you were extremely inseparable
every milestone of your lives were spent with each other
if he wasn’t tugging you around by the hand, he was constantly taking steps and stopping to make sure you were behind him
even when you guys got to school together
seriously all the kids would throw a fit because in the middle of the playground he would stop and turn around to find you and be sure you were there
“shut up meanie.” would be his only response to a bunch of angry kids flailing their arms and whining for you both to move
hyunjin is an only child so he doesn’t have company
but he saw you as his sibling
you were there when hyunjin got his first pet dog and helped him shower the little puppy and learn to take care of him
“no hyunjinnie, you can’t put him in the tub! the tub will get dirty.”
“but then what’s the point of a tub!”
hyunjin was there when you broke your first bone and instantly picked you up and dragged you to your parent’s house while you sobbed your eyes out
“stop being a baby! you’ll be fine”
and you would just blubber and sniffle
and every time you wailed he would get so mad and you couldn’t understand why
until you got to your parents and they instantly took you to he hospital..he turned around and started crying
hearing you cry made him so upset that he wanted you to just stop
you were there when his voice cracked for the first time and you both broke into laughter at the moment
“are you going through puberty?”
“hey, you can’t be asking those types of questions!”
“aw come on. i tell you everything hyunjin. it’s only fair.”
you manage to barely dodged his pillow flying at you 50 mph
he’s mumbling to himself and patting his throat gently as if it’ll help his voice somehow
“yeah, but there’s some things we just can’t share.”
he helped you pluck your eyebrows for the first time because you were too nervous to do it by yourself
honestly you weren’t sure if you could trust him to do a good job what if he leaves you looking bad-
“ow! ow it hurts hyunjin it hurts-”
“stop moving. you told me you wanted to pluck your eyebrows and i’m doing it.” he mumbles and grabs your face to keep you in place
he’s so focused on it and has his tongue out slightly while he squints and moves your head around
“okay, i’m sure you don’t have to move me so much.”
“stop questioning my work!”
there’s never been a moment in your life where you aren’t together
when he tries out for the basketball team you’re on the side cheering and recording him to tease him later
you guys walk to school together every morning just like when you were kids and he refuses to let it change
even when you wake up late he’s there to tear the blankets off of you and open the curtains to your room
“c’mon. you’re not leaving me alone now. you signed up for this.”
whenever he comes over and you’re sitting, not realizing he entered, he’ll come up behind you and roughly ruffle your hair
and if he’s feeling extra annoying he’ll give you a noogie
“do you have a crush on anyone yet?”
“ew, what type of question is that hyunjin?”
“i don’t know, i just wanted to see! you’re growing up and suck at telling me things now. just wanted to remind you that boys suck is all.”
he’s still ever so playful with you as you guys slowly get older
in fact he’s still the same hyunjin you knew
hyunjin’s gotten a lot taller..a lot more handsome..and it seems like each year it just becomes more apparent
and the people around you begin to notice it too
at first you grow fearful that maybe...just maybe hyunjin will start to outgrow you and no longer chase after you
and you grow paranoid whenever a cute girl comes around to speak to him
he’s polite and brief in all his conversations but it seems like he misses the point at their flirting
“hey, you really suck at taking a hint you know?”
hyunjin looks at you with a weird little eyebrow furrow
“i suck? no way, i just don’t really care. i have other stuff to focus on.” he shrugs before tugging you along to your next class
and it seems like maybe you two should be more distant as you get older..both of your parents start to fear the idea of one cutting the other off slowly but it seems like you’re even stronger than before
he’s constantly pushing himself into your life and barging into your house like it’s his
“hey, how was your day?” you can hear the door being slammed close and a bag being dropped as the boy looks around for you in the kitchen
“it was good! how was yours?”
and the whole rest of the afternoon is spent doing homework together or watching tv together
when you get sleepy you yawn and lean into him
it’s nothing new it’s something you’ve always done
but this time around he flinches and awkwardly pushes you off and you just blink at him in confusion
“did you just push me off?”
hyunjin is visibly shooken awkward
“no. i just got an electric shock is all. go on.”
"aw, hyunjin’s scared of contact!”
“really. i’m not. are you gonna lie on my shoulder again or what?” he seems huffy and embarrassed and slouches into the couch the slightest bit while focusing his attention back on the tv
but nonetheless you still adjust yourself back onto him
after that event you find him lingering around you a lot more than usual
seriously even his parents are like okay buddy...you have to chill
“don’t you think they have things to do too? i know you guys are best friends but distance is always nice too.”
“you don’t get it, we’ve always been like this. really.”
“if i didn’t know better hyunjin i would think you have a crush on them.”
those words hit him like a bag of bricks
his mind stops and tries to register it
“wait...no mom don’t say that. that’s weird.”
“my baby has a crush on his best friend!”
hyunjin can only drown her out in his mind while he tries to process those words
a crush...on you? his best friend?
no way...you’re too much of a dork...too dependent on him and he just feels the same way is all.. he likes being near you is all it is
and he likes how you follow him around
and hold his hand to keep him company
and how everything he says is important to you
and the sound of your voice and the way you smile at him
and how close you both are and how there isn’t anything to worry about with each other
“mom, i think i’m gonna go take a nap.” hyunjin can barely drag himself into his room and drop himself on his bed as he rummages through his pile of unknown objects in the corner of his room
he reaches for his backpack and looks through the smallest bag in it and pulls out a picture of you both in one of those cheesy effect photo booths at the park
“do i like you?” he asks himself but it seems like hes asking the picture as he looks at your silly expressions and fingers forming bunny ears behind his head
the words sound so weird but it feels so right
but oh my gosh? what would happen if he admits he likes you
you’re his best friend and you were practically raised together like wow what a weird concept to take in
but the thought of holding your hand in a different way then usual is so nice to him...
and all he can do is smother his face into a pillow and GROAN
you know...the frustrated teenage boy groan we all know and love
he has to do something about it but he can’t dare imagine possibly ending your amazing wonderful friendship because you don’t feel the same way
the whole night is absolute torture for him and his thoughts until he falls asleep
and when he wakes up the next morning it hits him in the face while he gets dressed
dragging himself to your house in the morning is so hard he’s so nervous even if he’s done it every single day of the year since...forever
“hyunjin you’re here! i was worried you’d be late.” you wave with a big grin and nearly fling yourself onto him
but it feels so much softer and warmer than usual and he clears his throat while lightly tapping your back
“i’d never be late. are you ready to go?”
the next few weeks are awkward from his side
it’s obvious from his side that something is up but he seems to brush it off whenever you worry or ask him about it
his hugs become a lot longer and his eyes stay on you more than usual and you can’t help but think what if he’s sad?
“hey, you know if you need to tell me anything you can always trust me.”
“i know you are but there’s just some things you can’t say. it’s nothing, really, i promise. i’m fine.” he gives you a big grin and a thumbs up but you couldn’t help and frown
“seriously. don’t worry.” he mumbles before pressing a soft kiss on your forehead to keep you from worrying
and you wouldn’t mind for him to do it again
but you smile and nod at him
“if you say so. i won’t keep pushing it.”
after that day he seems to distance himself a lot more entirely
he stops coming by for you in the morning and when you ask him he looks at you for a moment
“it’s not what you think, i promise. things are just weird. i’m sorry.”
and it seems to hurt a lot more than you ever expected but you know he doesn’t mean for things to hurt you
he’s just got a lot on his mind
so you accept it and spend the next few weeks alone
you miss having him nearly drag you out of bed
and hyunjin trying to force feed you because you’re too lazy to get yourself food
or having him tangle his fingers with yours
all the little moments you both shared are gone and you miss them so much
you can’t force yourself in but you want him to be back with you
and while you shove your hands into your jar of cookies, crying and eating.. the light bulb in your head goes off
your hands grasp the jar and you find yourself nearly running down your stairs outside
its cold out but you don’t mind at all
you probably should have put on shoes
as you jump and squeak and groan at the sensation of rocks pricking into your feet you manage to find yourself in front of the door of hyunjin’s house knocking impatiently
the lights are off in the house except for the living room and you can hear the loud audio of his favorite tv show
knock knock knock knock knock
with the sound of your voice the boy drops the control and jumps up
why the hell are you outside of his house at 10 pm in 50 degree weather? you’re usually tucked away in bed at this time just scrolling through your phone
“what are you doing here?” it’s not like he doesn’t want to open the door..but there’s something that makes him scared to open it
“please. open up.” your voice has shrunken so much and you sound so confused that it pangs his heart and he quickly unlocks it
and when he sees your face scrunched up in worry and your eyes wide and gentle, his heart swells up
even with your hair all messy and your ugly sweatpants and hoodie you look absolutely precious and it seems like now he remembers why he shouldn’t have opened the door
you shove the jar of cookies into his hands and hyunjin just stares at you in confusion
“but you’re going to now. because you’re my friend and you used to give me cookies to confirm our friendship and i’m doing the same thing you idiot.” your words are viciously rushed together and the way your hands move are worrying him and you seemed so stressed
“don’t tell me to calm down when you ditched me! take the damn cookie.”
he looks at you and the jar for a moment and it feels like he’s looking at you as a kid again
and his hand reaches in and takes a bite of the cookie in front of you
the sight of him munching on the treat puts your heart at ease and you tear the jar out of his hands
“now why are you avoiding me?”
“yes you are, i haven’t seen you in so long and whenever i text you it’s always so half-assed.”
“but i’m not doing it because of you, really.”
“if you don’t like me anymore just tell me so i don’t feel pathetic standing here fighting for you. and i’m cold.”
it’s annoying to him how you could even think he would leave you
but he knows very well he’s been failing you out of his own selfish fears and he deserves your doubt
“i don’t dislike you. i could never dislike you.”
your grip on the jar loosens at his words and you look back up at him
he tugs you into his house and closes the door behind you before motioning you to the couch
“you really came all the way over to my house just to harass me into eating your junk food for some emotional confirmation that i don’t hate you?”
“can you blame me?” the way you look at your feet in shame and embarrassment makes him smile and the little stray hairs that cover your eyes are so cute
hyunjin lets out a deep sigh before moving your fly aways to the side and scooting in closer to you.
“look at me?” your head moves up to see him and his eyes seem so bright and nice
you missed him so much and it must have been getting to you bad
because he seems a lot more special and handsome than usual
and the way your heart feels finally being around him is pretty wild itself
like really your heart is beating 120 mph and this is not healthy
“i’m not avoiding you because i hate you. i don’t know why i’m doing this. i mean i do, but i can’t justify it to myself so i can’t justify it for you.”
he sighs and grabs your hands while rubbing his thumb in circles on your skin
“maybe if you told me what was bothering you. i could help you hyunjin, it’s not just your problem.”
“i know it’s not. everything that happens to me concerns you too.”
“exactly. so why do you suck so much and not tell me important things?”
“theres some things left better unsaid.”
“not really hyunjin. you can at least give me a hint or something.”
you nod as he begins to think
“like, you can show me instead of tell me. draw it out or something. do charades even, hell i know you’re awful at it but if you need to...”
hyunjin nods and thinks to himself for a moment
“okay. i think i can show you. just don’t freak out.”
his hands let go of yours and hyunjin looks you in the eye while moving in slowly
the distance between you both is non existent and it’s not new...
“are you sure you want me to show you?”
you nod meekly while he clumsily presses his lips against yours
all the blood seems to be rushing to your head and everything around you is practically non-existent
because all you can focus on is your best friend just nonchalantly kissing you
you find yourself kissing back too
“do you get it now?” hyunjin puffs as he pulls away and looks at you with a shy smile
the lack of response and eye contact from you sends him into a frenzy and hes terrified of what you’re thinking
did he mess everything up
nice going hwang hyunjin now you’re going to have to explain to everyone you messed up the best thing in your life because you had to fall in love with your best friend
how much does it cost to find a new identity? what country has an easy to learn language for him to run away to?
“i hope you’re thinking up ideas of how to ask me out over there. or else this is going to be really awkward.” your hand brushes against his with a smile that comforts him entirely...just a little too much
“i don’t know. maybe if you kiss me back it can be arranged?”
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
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