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[stallionsoul]

twitter: where all i do is send memes to people and make picrew.me avatars

[rightreflection]

watching from the sidelines while your brother and dad hash it out so that you can remain completely uninvolved and therefore can not be held accountable for the many errors of your ways

[leftreflection-blog]

hey. you’re not going a n y w h e r e until we had a chat miss. just what do you THINK you’re doing adopting dads? huh? just what were you THINKING?

[sanpatron]

leftreflection·:

“she just eats them dry! i like how cuucuu poffs taste with orange juice! also- who the HECK are you and what have you done with rin!?”

“ Oh Christ she didn’t tell you anything, did she? ” Cue a clearing of his throat.

“ To make a long story short your sister made the poor decision of looking up to me as some sorta father figure. One thing led to another and bada-bing, I guess I’m your dad now too. ”

[leftreflection-blog]

tell him what!? 

WHAT? 

every inch in len’s body froze up and he points an accusatory (?) finger at him. 

“POOR DECISION IS RIGHT- WE DON’T NEED A DAD, WE’RE ANDROIDS!!! I DON’T NEED ONE!!!” 

rin can’t just go adopting dads! he was going to have a long talk with her- and by long, len will most likely just give up because there’s no use arguing with rin once she’s made a decision, as bad as it is. 

[leftreflection-blog]

@sanpatron replied to your post :“obviously you guys need to use orange juice...

“If your sister is the one who told you this then I’m grounding her.”

“she just eats them dry! i like how cuucuu poffs taste with orange juice! also- who the HECK are you and what have you done with rin!?”

[leftreflection-blog]

i’ve been throwing out rp ads on all my other muses but i am gonna keep on rollin’! also hello everyone, it’s been a while!

here’s my starter call for len kagamine! i’m capping this at 3 but will probably open up more slots in the future. i’d prefer longer threads, so i can work on ranking up my sweet sweet boy.

[leftreflection-blog]

“obviously you guys need to use orange juice instead of milk when it comes to cereal.”

[rightreflection]

leftreflection‌:

taking turns to clear the heavy air between them was nothing short of healing. it may not fix everything in one go, sure, but it’s a start- one that len was more than willing to take, one that he was more than accepting to change between them. he wants to apologize for apologizing, but deep down, he was glad to have gotten all that off his chest. he doesn’t feel better at the moment but he does feel lighter. that’s got to account for something, right? he thinks so. he hopes so. 

he finally looks up when she nudges his foot, still nervous with slight guilt for hearing her admittance of wrongdoing. he even feels responsible when she then admits to wanting to take care of herself on her own. selfishly, he wonders where that will leave him. if rin isn’t there to need him, what good is he? 

but there’s more to it. he knows- he’s working just as hard too to acknowledge his self-worth, just as rin was trying in her own way. in the end, they were the same in so many ways after all. 

when she finishes, he sniffles back his tears, wiping whatever was trying to form on the corners of his eyes. they still had some growing up to do, didn’t they? he turns to a passing waiter and quickly orders a boba drink similar to his–in large, please, with extra pearls–before getting up from his seat to walk over to rin abruptly.

in an instant, he pulls her into a comforting, albeit shaky embrace, glad to be in her immediate proximity after what felt like a lifetime away from her. 

“i know i can be selfish too. it feels good to be needed, especially from my own twin. but even so, i know when i have to be strong on my own too. not just for your sake- but for mine as well. i can’t keep using you as an excuse to feel validation- otherwise my feelings will grow into something ugly and pitiful- like that monster explained.” he hugs her a little tighter, instinctively shielding her face from any wandering eyes that may be observing them from the cafe. “but i want to be by your side. what better way to heal and grow than to heal and grow together?” 

finally, after long, he pulls away a bit with a tender, affectionate smile.

“i hope that’s okay.” 

While the damage that has been done, unfortunately, cannot be erased so easily and though she’s aware that the two have a long road ahead of them the fact that they can sit together and talk like this without yelling or fighting shows a great deal about the two. Perhaps they’ve already started growing without even realizing it. She shifts in discomfort when her hand remains flat on the table, untouched and when Len takes longer than what she is comfortable with to reply she yanks her palm back as if the tabletop has burst into flames, embarrassed and rejected. Of course he doesn’t want to hold hands right now– he’s angry! 

When he continues to seemingly ignore her just to place a second drink order she opens her mouth, on the verge of verbalizing her hurt and to remind him yet again that she is not hungry only to snap it shut when he rises from his seat. She’s being pulled into his embrace before she can even fully comprehend that it’s happening, senses overwhelmed by the warmth and comfort that he always offers to her and that she is always so greedy to accept without second thought. Even now, after this entire conversation, she does not hesitate to grasp onto him tightly in return to anchor herself, content to use him as a shield from any prying eyes as she feels her own beginning to water. 

Unlike Len she has never been much of a crier– has always figured he does enough of it for the both of them– but she’s been bottling up all of the sadness and frustration and hurt over the past couple of weeks and suddenly it all comes bursting out when he finally speaks, body wracking with her sobs while she clings to him once more like a lifesaver. She’s grateful that her face is hidden, humiliated that there are people around to see and hear her when it’s so rare for her to react in such a way but she had truly been frightened that this fight was going to be the one to tear apart both her and her brother.

Even though her voice is muffled she refuses to pull away from him both because she is reluctant to let go and also to remain hidden until she can calm herself down, “Of course it’s okay! I was so scared… I never tried reaching out this whole time because I really thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore…” It feels silly to admit it out loud but it had been the truth. 

[leftreflection-blog]

it was true that it felt good to be needed, to feel useful, to feel important. len figured, that against the others like miku, gumi, luka, and even rin, he’d never get into the spotlight like he’s always fantasized over--and honestly? he would be fine with that. but if his place wasn’t in the spotlight, he figured the most important place after would be at their sides, and in particular of course, rin’s. where did it all go wrong or rather, was it always going to end up this way? he thought it might. after all, there was still so much they had to learn- not just from the world, but from each other. 

even if he can’t feel the tears, he feels her pain. a twin thing, people always say. he holds her even tighter, his own tears threatening to fall but it’s his turn to be strong for them. (to be strong for himself.) len quickly glances up at the sever who appears with the drink, and makes themself scarce once again. there’s a small, wobbly smile that forms on his lips as she talks.

ah, so that’s what it was? that was so like her- and yet, len didn’t even consider that a possibly. “i thought the same thing...! i was terrified to message you until today. i figured you were so angry and hurt- i mean, of course you’d be hurt, but i mean angry enough you’d never wanna talk to me again...” 

he pulls a handkerchief (red, like meiko’s) from his pocket and goes to wipe away all of rin’s tears, even as they keep forming and spilling from her eyes. he reaches behind her and grabs the drink, gently pressing the cool glass against her warm face. the smile on his face is softer now, focusing on cheering up his twin. 

“you know, we still got a lot to work on huh? but i’m really happy now. because even though we have fights, no matter how bad they are, we never give up on one another. and no matter how bad things get, i’ll never abandon you rin. we’re finally together again- we’ll always be together, right?”

[leftreflection-blog]

[rightreflection]

[leftreflection-blog]

or what? you’re gonna arrest me?

[leftreflection-blog]

[leftreflection-blog]

i’ve been throwing out rp ads on all my other muses but i am gonna keep on rollin’! also hello everyone, it’s been a while!

here’s my starter call for len kagamine! i’m capping this at 3 but will probably open up more slots in the future. i’d prefer longer threads, so i can work on ranking up my sweet sweet boy.

Send me a ★+ ask my muse questions about their relationships with other muse’s in rp or characters in their canon

[leftreflection-blog]

𝐶 𝐻 𝐴 𝑅 𝐴 𝐶 𝑇 𝐸 𝑅   𝑆 𝑇 𝑈 𝐷 𝑌  

             𝑇𝑅𝐴𝐼𝑇𝑆 & 𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑅𝐴𝐶𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐼𝑆𝑇𝐼𝐶𝑆

                    repost  &  tag  away !  

            BOLD all that applies to your muse.             italicized  -  applicable in some way.

• eyes:     blue  |  green  |  brown  |  hazel |  gray  |  gray-blue  |  other • hair:     blonde  |  sandy  |  brown  |  black  |  auburn  |  ginger  |  grey  |  white  |  multi-color |  other • body type:     skinny  | slender |  slim  |  built  |  curvy  |  athletic  |  average  |  muscular  |  pudgy  |  overweight • skin:     pale |  light  |  fair |  freckled  |  tan  |  olive  |  medium  |  dark  |  discolored  |  other • gender:     male  |  female  |  trans  |  cis  |  agender  |  demigender  |  genderfluid  |  other  |  doesn’t like labels  |  don’t have any definite headcanon either way • sexuality:     heterosexual  |  homosexual  |  bisexual  |  pansexual |  asexual  |  demisexual  |  other  |  unsure  |  doesn’t like labels • romantic orientation:     homoromantic |  heteroromantic  |  biromantic  |   panromantic  |  aromantic  |  demiromantic |  unsure  |  doesn’t like labels

• species:     human  |  undead  |  shapeshifter  |  demon  |  angel  |  witch  |  ghost  |  incubus / succubus  |  werewolf  |  alien  |  mutant  |  android  | other  • education:     high school  |  college  |  university  |  master’s degree  |  PhD  | other (N/A) • i’ve been:    in love  |  hurt  |  ill  |  mentally abused  |  bullied  |  physically abused  |  tortured  | brainwashed | shot

• positive traits:    affectionate  |  adventurous  |  athletic |  brave  |  careful |  charming  | confident |  creative  | cunning  |  determined  |  forgiving  |  generous  |  honest  |  humorous |  intelligent | loyal |  modest |  patient  |  selfless  | polite |  down-to-earth | diligent  |  romantic  |  moral  |  fun-loving  |  charismatic  |  calm • negative traits:    aggressive  |  bossy |  cynical  |  envious |  shy  |  fearful  |  greedy  |  gullible  |  jealous  |  impatient |  impulsive  |  cocky  | reckless  | insecure |  irresponsible  | mistrustful |  paranoid  |  possessive  |  sarcastic  |  self-conscious  |  selfish  |  swears  | unstable  |  clumsy  |  rebellious  |  emotional  |  vengeful |  anxious  |  self-sabotaging  |  self-sacrificing |  moody | peevish | angry  |  pessimistic  |  slacker  |  thin skinned  |  overly dramatic  | argumentative

• living situation:     lives alone  | lives with parent(s) / guardian |  lives with significant other  |lives with a friend  |  drifter |  homeless  |  lives with children  | other (lives with rin! her law.) • parents/guardian:   mother  |  father |  adoptive  |  aunt  |  uncle  |  foster  |  grandmother  | grandfather  |  other (manager-san?) • sibling(s):     sister(s)  |  brother(s)  |  none  |  other • relationship:     single  |  crushing  |  dating  |  engaged  |  married  |  separated  |  it’s complicated

• i have a(n):     developmental disorder  |  learning disorder  |  personality disorder |  mental disorder | anxiety disorder  |  sleep disorder |  eating disorder  |  behavioral disorder  |  substance-related disorder  |  PTSD  |  mental disability  |  physical disability |  other  |  none

• things i’ve done before:     had alcohol |  smoked  |  stolen  |  done drugs  |  self-harmed  | starved |  had sex  |  had a threesome  | had a one-night stand  | gotten into a fist fight | gone to the hospital  |  gone to jail  |  used a fake ID  |  played hooky  |  gone to a rave  |  killed someone  | had someone try to kill them

TAGGED BY:  i took it, ehe! TAGGING: @rightreflection

[rightreflection]

leftreflection‌:

to say it was uncomfortable was a complete understatement. the awkward, tense silence between him made len reconsider their meeting after all. his thoughts raced a mile a minute, rationalizing any way to redeem this already failed interaction. maybe he was being too demanding or asking too much of her. given that he did say all those terrible things, and all too sudden at that, he wouldn’t fault her for being irritated at him. even if deep down, he knew he would have to shove his own insecurities and feelings aside, len couldn’t stand this distance between them. 

if he was to blame, then so be it. he missed her, simple as that. he wanted things to go back to normal. well, as normal as it could be. 

“o-oh, yeah. sorry.” his first apology of the day, and perhaps the first of many more to come. he knew it. he was being unreasonable. he sat rigidly, scrutinizing his every fidget. 

the silence would’ve continued forever–len didn’t feel confident to break it with some weak willed apology–but rin spoke suddenly and len pried his gaze from his own lap to her as she started to talk. her initial question rises that deeply hidden irritation he kept jarred. 

why? wasn’t it obvious why? but just as quickly as it rose, it dissipated, even before she continued. as much as he wanted to be upset, he never let it continue. old habits die hard, he guesses. 

when her own voice trails off, len remains silent, contemplative of what to say, or rather, how to say it. it was true, his feelings that he brought out in the open were always there- whether he acknowledged them or not. he recalls watching her, after shows, seeing her light up from the attention their manager or fans would give her, but knowing how quickly that act would fade behind closed doors. he remembers hyping her up, reassuring her that they would one day outshine miku and even encouraged her petty rivalry, knowing he’d rather see her energy focused on that then berating herself. he was protective of her, that has never changed. even so…

even so, he worked hard too, right? he had feelings too, right? why was it that no matter what he did, he couldn’t make her happy? why couldn’t he make himself happy? such intimidating, awful questions bothered him whenever he had time to rest, but len always pushed them away. the two of them may have the rest of their family for support, but as far as len was considered, in the end, the only really had each other. so perhaps that dependence, being tied to one another, made him grow resentful over time. 

“i.” he starts and pauses, his brows knitted contemplatively. “i’m sorry it came out like that- the way that it did. even if that thing wasn’t me, it’s understanding of my feelings was- is true. but the severity of my feelings, i don’t think, is what that creature made it out to be.” he tries to steady his voice, knowing that if he wavers, rin might not give him another chance to explain himself. 

“i don’t care that you act childish or selfish. that’s what makes you you rin. but…there are times when i feel like, no matter what i do, it isn’t enough. what we did when we performed or enjoyed together- it never felt like it was enough for you. so whenever you wanted to do something on whim, or whenever you selfishly requested we do something, of course i’d go along with it. if it made you happy, it made me happy. in a way, i guess, instead of being honest with you and acknowledging these things, i only fed into our insecurities.” 

he pauses again to take a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. he casts a quick glance at her, hoping she was still paying attention. once he catches her gaze, he lowers his own again, embarrassed. 

“if i continued to pretend like everything was fine, i wouldn’t have to admit how pathetic i am. i could keep pretending like i was doing my job and taking care of you, when really, i guess… i-i guess i haven’t been doing so well, huh?” his voice shakes, tears hot and threatening to fall but he shakes them away, irritated that even now, he feels so small and so pitiful. 

The more that he continues to speak, the more she shrinks back in her chair, wishing she could just grow smaller and smaller until she vanishes from sight with a ‘poof’. The fact that he thinks he is the pathetic one in the midst of all this is nearly mind-blowing because he is nowhere near the definition of such a word. She opens her mouth multiple times with the urge to butt in and defend herself or make up an excuse as to why she’s reacted the ways that she has but ultimately remains silent because Len deserves to be heard. He deserves so much. 

When he finishes she can only blink for a few moments, shoulders heavy with his admissions along with the weight of her own problems yet she straightens up in her seat once more despite it. “Don’t apologize,” she says it despite knowing it’s a waste of her breath– Len always apologizes– “you didn’t do anything wrong.” She wants to hold his hand for reassurance but it’s hidden from her view and despite being terrified of the rejection she forces herself to rest hers on the table, palm up in an open invitation and wills it not to shake.

“…You’re right. It was never enough.” Not because he wasn’t capable of making her happy but because no matter what she did her insecurities and self-doubt always followed her like a shadow no matter how hard she tried to act otherwise. “It was wrong of me to rely on you all the time to make me happy and it was wrong of me to only ever focus on my own feelings without ever once questioning yours or making sure that you were okay.” It’s difficult to force the words out but she does it anyways because for her brother, she would do anything, “You do make me happy, Len, and you’ve always taken great care of me but it’s time that I learn how to take care of myself now.” As much as she hates to admit it.

“I just… I hate myself so much sometimes and I don’t know why or how to stop it.” The next part is important so when she raises her gaze to search for his and finds that he’s still looking down she nudges him beneath the table with her foot, forcing him to face her once more, “I wish I could lie and tell you that it will all just go away but it won’t. All that I can say is that I’m going to work really hard to make it all better and it would really mean a lot to me if you were by my side while I do it. But, in the same breath, it’s okay if you don’t want to be… Honestly, I’ve been the worst sister so I wouldn’t blame you if you decided to be done with me from this point forward.”

[leftreflection-blog]

taking turns to clear the heavy air between them was nothing short of healing. it may not fix everything in one go, sure, but it’s a start- one that len was more than willing to take, one that he was more than accepting to change between them. he wants to apologize for apologizing, but deep down, he was glad to have gotten all that off his chest. he doesn’t feel better at the moment but he does feel lighter. that’s got to account for something, right? he thinks so. he hopes so. 

he finally looks up when she nudges his foot, still nervous with slight guilt for hearing her admittance of wrongdoing. he even feels responsible when she then admits to wanting to take care of herself on her own. selfishly, he wonders where that will leave him. if rin isn’t there to need him, what good is he? 

but there’s more to it. he knows- he’s working just as hard too to acknowledge his self-worth, just as rin was trying in her own way. in the end, they were the same in so many ways after all. 

when she finishes, he sniffles back his tears, wiping whatever was trying to form on the corners of his eyes. they still had some growing up to do, didn’t they? he turns to a passing waiter and quickly orders a boba drink similar to his--in large, please, with extra pearls--before getting up from his seat to walk over to rin abruptly.

in an instant, he pulls her into a comforting, albeit shaky embrace, glad to be in her immediate proximity after what felt like a lifetime away from her. 

“i know i can be selfish too. it feels good to be needed, especially from my own twin. but even so, i know when i have to be strong on my own too. not just for your sake- but for mine as well. i can’t keep using you as an excuse to feel validation- otherwise my feelings will grow into something ugly and pitiful- like that monster explained.” he hugs her a little tighter, instinctively shielding her face from any wandering eyes that may be observing them from the cafe. “but i want to be by your side. what better way to heal and grow than to heal and grow together?” 

finally, after long, he pulls away a bit with a tender, affectionate smile.

“i hope that’s okay.” 

[rightreflection]

leftreflection‌:

true to her predictions, len was tense with anxiety. part of him was ready to chuck his phone into a nearby river and risk avoiding the inevitable disappointment he assumed would be coming. the fact she was taking her time continued to prove his worries true. rin would reply in a heartbeat. if she was struggling, it meant that he provoked her ire and that he hurt her deeply. the longer she drew out, the more len wanted to immediately reply, tell her that they could talk later when she was ready. 

but when would that be? 

if they didn’t talk about it now, len was afraid they never would again. just like before, like the many times before coming to spirale, it would be passed over, building up inside of them until it got worse. now, he figured, was that time. 

eventually, she replied and len visibly flinched at her single letter response. that defensive mechanism to apologize and place blame on himself overwhelmed him but then she responded a second time. his reaction calmed somewhat, but not enough to quell the worry in his chest. 

to: RIN  ☆ frm: LEN  ★

[½] i’ll send u my location [2/2] see u soon! 

he can’t help but reply in his usual, cheery tone. even though they both know the gravity of their conflict, he can’t help but still want to play peacemaker. he sends her his location and waits. and waits. it feels like forever but checking the time constantly tells him that time isn’t going nearly as fast enough as he imagines it to be.

eventually, she appears in the nearby distance and he tenses. it’s the first time since their argument that he’s seen her. the guilty side of him wants to run away, or beg for her forgiveness- but another part of him wishes he could comfort her. 

“hey.” 

len shifts uncomfortably, the boba cup dangling in his hands. 

“you sure you’re not hungry? the cafe i was at had some snacks if you change your mind…” his voice trails off, the heavy silence between them hanging thick in the air. 

Seeing Len and not feeling any sort of inkling of excitement or joy is alien to her and serves only as a bitter reminder of how much has changed between the two from the moment they were reunited within the city up to now. Even just trying to greet him feels awkward and she waves lamely once he speaks to her and, before she has time to silently berate herself for such a stupid reaction, the blonde is already quietly slipping into the empty seat opposite of him and is suddenly too ashamed to meet his eye, choosing instead to focus her gaze at the scenery outside the window nearest to them. It’s too nice of an area for them to be having this conversation but, really, would any place be suitable for a discussion as heavy as this one likely will be?

The fact that he’s asking her about food again strikes a nerve though for once there is effort made to keep her expression a blank slate, voice clipped but mostly just defeated and ending on a sigh, “I told you I wasn’t already, didn’t I?” 

The silence only stretches on and Rin knows that if she isn’t the one to speak up then this will go nowhere– either Len will force out an apology that she is undeserving of and they will slip back into their old, destructive routines or he will run away from her a second time and who’s to say he’ll come back around if she allows that to happen. She has always played victim and he has always allowed it and it’s time for her to grow up and take responsibility for the hurt that she has caused. The hurt that she has allowed to happen while she stands by and simply just watches. 

Shifting in her seat, the android keeps her hands pressed firmly against her lap, fingernails digging into her palms as she forces herself to meet his gaze head-on. Why does apologizing always have to be so difficult? 

“Why didn’t you tell me any of those things sooner?” It comes out wrong, as if she is trying to shift the blame onto him and quickly she shakes her head side to side, headband and the large, white bow attached to it nearly toppling off her head in the process at the rough action. 

“I mean… I didn’t know you felt that way, Len.” 

That’s wrong, too.

“Or, actually… I guess maybe all along I sort of did. Looking back, maybe I always had somewhat of an idea… But I never knew you felt that strongly about it. I would have tried to make it right a long time ago if I had realized it sooner,” She mutters the next part beneath her breath, ashamed of herself, “I should have realized it sooner.”

“I’ve been so selfish for all this time and I never should have just went along thinking you’d never mind any of that…”

[leftreflection-blog]

to say it was uncomfortable was a complete understatement. the awkward, tense silence between him made len reconsider their meeting after all. his thoughts raced a mile a minute, rationalizing any way to redeem this already failed interaction. maybe he was being too demanding or asking too much of her. given that he did say all those terrible things, and all too sudden at that, he wouldn’t fault her for being irritated at him. even if deep down, he knew he would have to shove his own insecurities and feelings aside, len couldn’t stand this distance between them. 

if he was to blame, then so be it. he missed her, simple as that. he wanted things to go back to normal. well, as normal as it could be. 

“o-oh, yeah. sorry.” his first apology of the day, and perhaps the first of many more to come. he knew it. he was being unreasonable. he sat rigidly, scrutinizing his every fidget. 

the silence would’ve continued forever--len didn’t feel confident to break it with some weak willed apology--but rin spoke suddenly and len pried his gaze from his own lap to her as she started to talk. her initial question rises that deeply hidden irritation he kept jarred. 

why? wasn’t it obvious why? but just as quickly as it rose, it dissipated, even before she continued. as much as he wanted to be upset, he never let it continue. old habits die hard, he guesses. 

when her own voice trails off, len remains silent, contemplative of what to say, or rather, how to say it. it was true, his feelings that he brought out in the open were always there- whether he acknowledged them or not. he recalls watching her, after shows, seeing her light up from the attention their manager or fans would give her, but knowing how quickly that act would fade behind closed doors. he remembers hyping her up, reassuring her that they would one day outshine miku and even encouraged her petty rivalry, knowing he’d rather see her energy focused on that then berating herself. he was protective of her, that has never changed. even so...

even so, he worked hard too, right? he had feelings too, right? why was it that no matter what he did, he couldn’t make her happy? why couldn’t he make himself happy? such intimidating, awful questions bothered him whenever he had time to rest, but len always pushed them away. the two of them may have the rest of their family for support, but as far as len was considered, in the end, the only really had each other. so perhaps that dependence, being tied to one another, made him grow resentful over time. 

“i.” he starts and pauses, his brows knitted contemplatively. “i’m sorry it came out like that- the way that it did. even if that thing wasn’t me, it’s understanding of my feelings was- is true. but the severity of my feelings, i don’t think, is what that creature made it out to be.” he tries to steady his voice, knowing that if he wavers, rin might not give him another chance to explain himself. 

“i don’t care that you act childish or selfish. that’s what makes you you rin. but...there are times when i feel like, no matter what i do, it isn’t enough. what we did when we performed or enjoyed together- it never felt like it was enough for you. so whenever you wanted to do something on whim, or whenever you selfishly requested we do something, of course i’d go along with it. if it made you happy, it made me happy. in a way, i guess, instead of being honest with you and acknowledging these things, i only fed into our insecurities.” 

he pauses again to take a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. he casts a quick glance at her, hoping she was still paying attention. once he catches her gaze, he lowers his own again, embarrassed. 

“if i continued to pretend like everything was fine, i wouldn’t have to admit how pathetic i am. i could keep pretending like i was doing my job and taking care of you, when really, i guess... i-i guess i haven’t been doing so well, huh?” his voice shakes, tears hot and threatening to fall but he shakes them away, irritated that even now, he feels so small and so pitiful. 

[rightreflection]

leftreflection‌:

◆ @rightreflection  ◆

as of late, len was proactively avoiding his twin, perhaps for the longest time that he could recall. the world had changed into kingdoms, almost overnight, and just as they enjoyed the RPG-like kingdom world, their joy was replaced by fear and chaos. during a stint with a mist reaper, len found his memories and sense of self warped, pulling out feelings he always figured weren’t issues. at least, ones he never thought would be exposed. cruel and hurtful feelings that, the moment he spoke them, wanted to immediately fight back against it. he panicked, knowing that he didn’t want to hurt rin with his terrible words but maybe, deep down, because he didn’t want his persona of a caring, backseat twin to be destroyed. 

“after all this time- you just assumed i enjoyed letting you take the spotlight huh?! of course i resented you. how could you still be everyone’s favorite but still not take yourself seriously?! why do you get special treatment…!?”

his thoughtless words rang in his mind as len felt himself redden with shame and guilt. he said all those horrible things to her, whether he wanted to or not, and in the end, he was the one who ran away after that. even as the city returned to normal, len couldn’t bring himself to face her. what was he going to say? what could he say after that? what’s worse, the fact that she hadn’t reached out, no message or phone call, was all the proof he needed. he didn’t want to talk to himself either.

lost in his own head, he fidgeted with the boba tea cup in his hand, a rain cloud hanging over him. should he try and text her? apologize? ugh, how shitty would that be!? but even so, he knew he’d eventually have to set the record straight. knowing that he upset his twin, to the point they weren’t speaking to one another, was pain enough. 

before he could even rationally think it through, he pulls out his phone and texts her. (he doubts she’ll respond, but he has to try.) 

to: RIN  ☆ frm: LEN  ★

[½] hey [2/2] want to talk? or have dinner? my treat

She doesn’t know how much time has passed since she opened up his message, her thumbs constantly doing a jittery dance of sorts across the screen as she types up a reply only to erase it, unsatisfied with the results, and start again. Knowing Len the way that she does, she can imagine his expression on the other end, taught with anxiety as he watches those daunting three ellipses constantly appear and disappear. For the first time in her life she doesn’t know what to say to her brother– doesn’t know how to talk to him or approach him. Or if she even should. 

Although her initial reason behind leaving him alone after their giant blow-out had been to give him space, there was also no denying that it was the perfect excuse to run away from the conflict. She wasn’t proud of how she had reacted the first time around; her default reaction of growing defensive and getting angry, desperate to hurl out insult after insult following his own so that perhaps she could hurt him as much as he had done to her by reacting so uncharacteristically aggressive. Most of all she wasn’t proud of how awful she has been all along.

Though she wishes she could say she was surprised by the topic, it had probably been a long time coming. The idol would be lying if she had claimed to be completely blind to it– they were twins, after all. There were certainly times back before the city had ever whisked them away from their happy little lives where she would lie awake at night pondering how anyone could possibly be happy living in the shadow of another. Constantly shoved aside and taking the backseat to someone who only acted as if they were superior.

She owes him a giant apology. She owes him a lot more than just that. Maybe it would have been better if he had just never come here and the two had stayed their separate ways. Her memories with Len were growing to be far fonder than their time spent together in the presence lately. 

An immense wave of guilt crashes upon her the moment the thought reveals itself and she bites down on her bottom lip. She supposes she’s kept him waiting long enough but she isn’t even sure how to have this conversation with him or if she even really wants to face his admittedly valid feelings head-on because that means coming to terms with her own insecurities and demons that she has always tried so desperately to keep tucked away.

TO: Len 𝄢

FROM: Rin 𝄞

[½] K.

The single-lettered response is a little too cruel even by her standards.

[2/2] Not hungry tho. where are u, i’ll meet you halfway.

[leftreflection-blog]

true to her predictions, len was tense with anxiety. part of him was ready to chuck his phone into a nearby river and risk avoiding the inevitable disappointment he assumed would be coming. the fact she was taking her time continued to prove his worries true. rin would reply in a heartbeat. if she was struggling, it meant that he provoked her ire and that he hurt her deeply. the longer she drew out, the more len wanted to immediately reply, tell her that they could talk later when she was ready. 

but when would that be? 

if they didn’t talk about it now, len was afraid they never would again. just like before, like the many times before coming to spirale, it would be passed over, building up inside of them until it got worse. now, he figured, was that time. 

eventually, she replied and len visibly flinched at her single letter response. that defensive mechanism to apologize and place blame on himself overwhelmed him but then she responded a second time. his reaction calmed somewhat, but not enough to quell the worry in his chest. 

to: RIN  ☆ frm: LEN  ★

[1/2] i’ll send u my location [2/2] see u soon! 

he can’t help but reply in his usual, cheery tone. even though they both know the gravity of their conflict, he can’t help but still want to play peacemaker. he sends her his location and waits. and waits. it feels like forever but checking the time constantly tells him that time isn’t going nearly as fast enough as he imagines it to be.

eventually, she appears in the nearby distance and he tenses. it’s the first time since their argument that he’s seen her. the guilty side of him wants to run away, or beg for her forgiveness- but another part of him wishes he could comfort her. 

“hey.” 

len shifts uncomfortably, the boba cup dangling in his hands. 

“you sure you’re not hungry? the cafe i was at had some snacks if you change your mind...” his voice trails off, the heavy silence between them hanging thick in the air. 

[leftreflection-blog]

◆ @rightreflection  ◆

as of late, len was proactively avoiding his twin, perhaps for the longest time that he could recall. the world had changed into kingdoms, almost overnight, and just as they enjoyed the RPG-like kingdom world, their joy was replaced by fear and chaos. during a stint with a mist reaper, len found his memories and sense of self warped, pulling out feelings he always figured weren’t issues. at least, ones he never thought would be exposed. cruel and hurtful feelings that, the moment he spoke them, wanted to immediately fight back against it. he panicked, knowing that he didn’t want to hurt rin with his terrible words but maybe, deep down, because he didn’t want his persona of a caring, backseat twin to be destroyed. 

“after all this time- you just assumed i enjoyed letting you take the spotlight huh?! of course i resented you. how could you still be everyone’s favorite but still not take yourself seriously?! why do you get special treatment...!?”

his thoughtless words rang in his mind as len felt himself redden with shame and guilt. he said all those horrible things to her, whether he wanted to or not, and in the end, he was the one who ran away after that. even as the city returned to normal, len couldn’t bring himself to face her. what was he going to say? what could he say after that? what’s worse, the fact that she hadn’t reached out, no message or phone call, was all the proof he needed. he didn’t want to talk to himself either.

lost in his own head, he fidgeted with the boba tea cup in his hand, a rain cloud hanging over him. should he try and text her? apologize? ugh, how shitty would that be!? but even so, he knew he’d eventually have to set the record straight. knowing that he upset his twin, to the point they weren’t speaking to one another, was pain enough. 

before he could even rationally think it through, he pulls out his phone and texts her. (he doubts she’ll respond, but he has to try.) 

to: RIN  ☆ frm: LEN  ★

[1/2] hey [2/2] want to talk? or have dinner? my treat

[leftreflection-blog]

◆ @kanshikikan  ◆

he had one question and one question only: why was this quest posted for everyone to see when it was clearly so...so...so easy!? 

len looked over the quest scroll over and over again, wondering if it was some code he should decipher or if it really was just that simple. all that dust would be his if he just took it from some skeleton guy huh? it was like, too easy! was this guy rich or something? with everyone else going along and collecting their rewards left and right, len figured he’d join in on the action. after all- he wouldn’t be able to open up a studio with rin without those funds! 

while fluttering over, he noticed the other’s presence almost immediately. that and, with ciel’s peculiar doll-like features, the other boy was not especially difficult to miss.

“ciel, what are you doing walking around here so late at night?” the same question could be asked of you, len. “say, i’ve got something to do but i was wondering, since you’re here, would you come along with me to check it out? it’s going to be super quick, i promise!”