Untalented Overachiever

xxi || infp || Italy || maladaptive daydreaming

[legendarycollectiveflower]

The axiom of equality: x = x

That is true, but x is the independent variable, you choose its value.

[legendarycollectiveflower]

Forever damned because my answer to any "who cares" is always I do. I do.

[legendarycollectiveflower]

Researchers (me) found that the first books you ever read stick with you for the rest of your life and have actual impact on your persona.

You may not think about them often, but they are the first that come to mind when someone asks about books that influenced your life.

[legendarycollectiveflower]

Sylvia Plath's fig tree metaphor is like when you have a pretty notebook but you don't write anything in it because you can't decide what to use it for.

[legendarycollectiveflower]

I don't actually work better under pressure.

I lied.

It's just that I only work if there's pressure.

[legendarycollectiveflower]

Every morning on my way to my biochemistry lecture (bane of my existence), I have to pass in front of the literature faculty, and I see the students dressed like they came from another century, discussing the last author they studied. And I see what I could have been.

I'm about to pull a Richard Papen and go befriend them pretending to be one of them.

[legendarycollectiveflower]

My biggest fear is that I'm going to make it.

I'll make it and I will be good. But that's where it ends, I'll be stuck doing that. No more uncertain hopes, no risky aspirations, no brave dreams.

Just me and my career. The punishment for my lack of courage, for my inability to dream further.

[legendarycollectiveflower]

I'm so mad I can't be mad at her

[legendarycollectiveflower]

I'm haunted by the ghost of a person who's still alive.

[legendarycollectiveflower]

Opening Queering the map is really a journey because one moment you're crying to the most heart-wrenching confessions and then you accidentally click on the ocean:

[legendarycollectiveflower]

Two types of people on Queering the map:

[legendarycollectiveflower]

Bunny: *in commons having a grilled cheese sandwich and a milkshake*

Henry:

[legendarycollectiveflower]

All the books I read, all the movies I watch, all the stories I make up and the way I try to romanticize reality are just desperate attempts to escape it.

[legendarycollectiveflower]

Who was the real me, then? It was an abstraction that hadn’t yet taken shape in my lifetime.

-Qiu Miaojin, Notes of a Crocodile

[legendarycollectiveflower]

And really, what difference did the world make to me, anyway? With that question, something stirred deep inside me, making my body tremble. It did make a difference. I had needs like anyone else, and sure, one of those needs was a little acknowledgment.

-Qiu Miaojin, Notes of a Crocodile

[legendarycollectiveflower]

Are you really reading the right books if you don't sound like a madman when you're trying to explain them to someone?

[legendarycollectiveflower]

Have you perhaps read Lord of the Flies and wondered if it would have gone differently were the characters females?

Well I have, and I think I found the answer reading I Who Have Never Known Men byJacqueline Harpman.