Lemony Thoughts In A Limetastic World @lemonlimes-stuff - Tumblr Blog

I may be crazy.

I may be absolutely batshit.

But this guy?

He wants to marry me. And I may just let him.

How is it I've never been with a guy who is strict about wearing a condom?

Huh. I've never been with a guy who has ACTUALLY worn a condom before. 🤔

She's a fucking dumb bitch. He's going to leave her, I know it.

How can I reconcile the fact that he's happy and I'm miserable?

I used his cc to buy my movie ticket tonight.

Fuck him. He can cancel his card. That, or fucking talk to me to stop using it.

I used his cc to buy my movie ticket tonight.

Fuck him. He can cancel his card. That, or fucking talk to me to stop using it.

I feel erased like I didn't even matter.

Celebrated another turn around the sun, and all I can feel is broken. No joy, just broken.

One person is not meant to feel this much loss and heartache in their lives without it meaning something. Or meaning they're meant for something bigger. They just have to be meant for more. It's the laws of equivalent exchange - biblical, rudimentary, as old as time itself: the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away.

Well, the Lord took away. So what I better get in return should be fucking epic to make this pain worthwhile.

Despite it all... I want him back. And I'm desperate enough to try everything in my power (and perhaps even a stronger power) to get my person back.

Because I love him. He's mine. And I'm going to fight for him.

I have aneurysms in my head. Three, to be precise. I had a baby, baby, minor cardiac episode a few years ago. And I have an autoimmune disorder.

My body is failing. So maybe it's time I just let it. According to all the medical professionals my mother took me to when I was young, I wasn't supposed to live past 16 anyway. So I'm just on borrowed time.

Maybe I'm really not meant to live long. Good. Because living with this heartbroken pain is insurmountable.

I feel like I'm still being lied to.

Is it weird that part of me thinks he'll be contacting me soon to tell me he fucked up? I think I feel this way because everything happened so suddenly... who knows. I just hurt.

I just hurt. So very much. This pain is unbearable.

When he uses me against her, I hope she'll feel it.

When he BLAMES her for ending his relationship with me FOR her...I hope she'll see him for what he truly is.

I don't even know how to move on from this. Moving on is expected. I get that I'll have to go back to living my life... without him. But how do I do it, when I think about him every day? When I think about Monday and I dread - DREAD - what's to come because I can't talk to him about it?

Devastated doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. Shattered doesn't even come close. I think "lost" is pretty apt.

I wasn't loved. I was LIED to.

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Lemony Thoughts In A Limetastic World