it's hard because it's beautiful.

but you want to go home.

[leonaarv-blog]

“oh please. there are better dancers than the both of us, who have more street smarts than you and is older then both our ages combined. even then, i wouldn’t listen.” leona’s stubbornness really got her nowhere, but it was hard to let go of her most prominent trait. if this was leona and dayoon about a week or so ago, she would have stormed out minutes ago. she had no ida what was keeping her stuck to him, and make her not move. it was annoying and irritating and hopeless to stay around someone who had made it evidently clear they did not want her. but leona was always hopeful, even in the most hopeless situations. “you sound so sure about leaving, why?” leo took a total of four more shots before she started feeling really dizzy and seeing more than one dayoon, and feeling as if the floor beneath her was jelly. leona realized she was drunk when she started to speak the words she rather never speak of outloud. “t...th...things were going good between us, w-why did you push me away?.”

[leonaarv-blog]

“give me an example when it should always be beneficial to me.” the girl countered back. this was never uncommon between the two, they were always bickering about something, no matter how little or big. it just, sort of, kind of, became their ‘thing’. the girl narrowed her eyes at his smirk (he was so hot when he smirked, but this clearly wasn’t the situation to think that right now) and rolled her eyes at him. “that’s not what i was trying to do, not make it little.” leona said with a small pout evident on her face. she had loved him for two years due to their time together, of course it wasn’t little to her. maybe it was the vodka finally doing its magic, but she mumbled a quick thing about how she wouldn’t have liked someone for two years if she barely knew them. “idol or vodka connoisseur?” the girl asked. leona shook her head, “it’s fucking disgusting. but it’s making me feel all warm and tingly, so it’s fine.” two shots were quickly downed again before the girl had time to react and respond to it’s taste. the little plan was working well for her and she was already feeling the effects of the alcohol, especially with the noticeable dopey smile on her face.

[leonaarv-blog]

“i listen to you when it’s beneficial to me.” the iris leader clarified. a playful glare spread over the girls face at the mention of her height. dayoon was glad she knew him, knew him well at that, or she would have probably punched his arm. but then again, she probably would’ve punched his arm regardless. “yeah, but i mean if you think about, all we did majority of the time was do dance stuff. sometimes we went out to eat or go for a drink. and during company meetings and at music shows and stuff.” leona pointed out, only to realize that how strange it was to have spent not that much a lot of quality time with the b.o.w member, but be hopelessly strung out on him for two years. the alcohol numbed leona, slowly but surely. the vodka numbed the pain and she could feel the warmth spread through her body, a feeling she started to enjoy. the girl waited before taking the bottle and taking two more shots, her face twisting in disgust. “isn’t there like, vodka enthusiasts? like there is for wine?” the small brunette questioned, squeezing her nose together with two index fingers to mask the smell as she took another shot.  the feeling was good, the flavor wasn’t.

[ludaarv-blog]

LAST POST ON LUDAS ACCOUNT, SORT OF IMPORTANT, IDK, YIKES PLS READ THO !!

Keep reading

[leonaarv-blog]

“i’m not listening to your liiiies.” leona said as she made noises to cancel out what he was saying, although he was right, she was never going to give him the satisfaction of being right. ever. “i’m literally five feet tall you asshat.” leona mumbled as she resisted the urge to roll her eyes for the twentieth time at this point. “wow, good for you, never thought you’d make it past like, thirteen.” the girl replied sarcastically. leona made a mental note of proving him wrong. despite how disgusting the alcohol would probably taste and probably how much she’d regret it the following the day, she wasn’t going to allow dayoon to call the shots of how much she can handle or not. no way. “you know me so well it’s pretty terrifying.” maybe he’d find out if she go drink enough to spill her secrets out to him. at the sound of the bottle opening, leona literally flinched slightly. she watched dayoon drink it like it was water and made a slight face she hoped would go unnoticed. taking the bottle from him, she stared at the deathly clear liquid. leona realized she was going to regret all of this in a matter of time, but that would be saved for when it was relevant. holding the brim up to her peach lips, she poured two shots in her mouth and gulped, making a disgusting face. “why does it taste like that!?” the iris leader stuck her tongue out in an attempt to air it out or something. she was such a damn lightweight, she could already feel the dizzy feeling in her head and the fuzzy feeling in her bones.

[leonaarv-blog]

“that still doesn’t mean you have proof. i have plenty proof on you, but i doubt you have anything on me.” leona shrugged innocently at the b.o.w member. “not tiny.” she glared at him as she bit into a noodle.  leona rolled her eyes again. it was kind of hard not to whenever she was around him, almost a second nature in his presence.  “shuttup, you aren’t even that much older than me.” the iris leader grumbled at him. she wasn’t that young. she was almost twenty soon. “you’ve never seen me drinking!” leona shouted, her small voice raising slightly in defense. “never said it had anything to do you.” the girl whistled, although anyone with a brain would know it definitely had to do with nam dayoon. she set the takeout noodle container down as her eyes widened at the alcohol. she was more of a soju girl. in all honestly, all leona had was soju and beer and some dark liquor before that made her throw up in her sleep and had a hang over for two days (it was during promotions too). it was one night, who cared? “ay ay captain.” 

[leonaarv-blog]

“you have zero proof.” leo narrowed her eyes at him. if it was possible, the food was probably more cold than it already was considering how long leona kept talking to the boy before her. realizing that she might get shitfaced (that was her goal, anyways) she should probably eat as much as food as she probably could to prevent a hangover for the next day and throwing up. “listen, this is my first time here since weeks. i don’t know what you do in your alone time dayoon. no judging, though.” a playful wink was sent across his way as she slurped the noodles, drinking some of the broth before looking at him. “i’m not a twelve year old, i’m nineteen and can handle myself, you dingdong.” although she was legal age, the girl rarely went out to drink in public. she preferred having a small stash in the dorm. she ran out ever since the thing with dayoon happened. “if i end up getting drunk then i’ll just reschedule with jianyu. i know what he’s going to talk to me about anyways.” the brunette shot him a glance before letting a sigh escape, continuing to slurp her noodles innocently.

[leonaarv-blog]

“plus i’m literally not a pain in the total ass unlike a certain someone..” leo trailed off with a mischievous glint passing over her eyes as she eyed the b.o.w member. it seemed like they were stuck in the past, a moment in time when things weren’t as bad as they actually were and a moment where leona loved dayoon. who was she kidding? she still did. the girl scoffed, “first off, i did not freak out. have you seen an infected wound? gross. i was doing you a favor, thank you very much.” her nose scrunched up as she rolled her eyes at him, before falling silent, unsure why he was watching her so intently. “nessa? no, i just want to get drunk, day.”

[leonaarv-blog]

“i don’t think i’ve ever seen jianyu mad. well, honestly, i’ve had more conversations with him in the past few weeks than i have my entire time at spotlight.” now leona wasn’t going to mention why her visits with the groups leader had become so frequent, it was obvious. well to her anyways. if dayoon didn’t pick up on it, the better. tucking a strand behind her ear, she eyed the idol carefully as he resumed cutting the apple again the damn knife. “don’t hurt yourself again,” the girl mused. things were going great and of course she had to slip up and let her feelings come in the way. they may have not been friends at the moment, but they had to keep a professional public image if they ever bumped into each other in the public view again. and maybe they could be friends again. luckily, leo found chopsticks without much help and decided to eat it cold, she was feeling too lazy to eat it up and she preferred leftovers cold. “soooo,” the iris leader spoke with a mouthful. she never really cared about her image with dayoon. it was dayoon. and even now she had nothing to worry about, he wasn’t her boyfriend. junhyung was. “got any booze?” leona had already had a few shots of soju before even coming to the dorms but it’s effects had worn off and she definitely needed to feel like the queen of the world again.

[leonaarv-blog]

“that definitely sounds like something jianyu would do. but are you so sure he’d go blue? i think he’d have some purple tint.” leona laughed lightly, shaking her head at the thought. the silence was comfortable, it was almost necessary for them. but it also served as a plagued reminder of what was and what never would happen. with a soft sigh, leona quickly looked up and trailed her eyes over to the kitchen. her stomach grumbled almost on cue. “you act like i wasn’t going to get some food eventually.” leo playfully rolled her eyes at him and made her way to the fridge, opening the b.o.w fridge. to her amusement, she saw the most random array of foods ever. she was definitely craving noodles of some sort and her eyes perked up and her small hands instantly grabbed it. setting the take out soup container on the counter, she opened it and was able to tell what it was. vietnamese food, a favorite. “pho?” the iris leader said. the last time she had vietnamese food was last year, so it was more than overdue. a strange sensation settled over the girl and she slowly looked away from the food and at dayoon. “your...fa...favorite.” it was hard to spit the words out and even harder to hold them back. she knew him forever and liked him for two years, it would have been silly not to know the favorite food of the boy she had been pining over.

[leonaarv-blog]

“let’s hope not. i doubt jianyu would patch you up as nicely as i did.” leona gave him a look as a small, genuine laugh escaped her lips. for a brief second it felt like old times again. before feelings were involved. when the two were just dancing partners, when dayoon was still with riah and leona fawned over him, when they broke up and leona was still fawning over him. it was almost ridiculous how she was stuck on him for two years and within almost a month, it was all gone and done with it and she was back with her ex-boyfriend. it was strange how things worked out like that. “i’d like my medal to be in the form of food, thank you very much.”

[leonaarv-blog]

“i said shuttup dayoon.” leona grumbled back at him. it didn’t help that he was as stubborn as she was and the constantly butt heads back when they were...whatever they were. friends? significant others? it was a mess back then and even worse now. tearing open a tiny package of antibiotics, the girl smeared a thin layer gently over his wound with a sterile cotton swab. the brunette held his hand for a moment, eyeing to see if most of the clear paste was absorbed so it wouldn’t be ruined by the band-aid. leona tore a piece of cloth with her teeth before wrapping it around his cut, and then wrapping a decent sized band aid around that, for extra care. leona wasn’t sure if dayoon was taking care of himself anymore, but if she was doing anything to help, then she was secretly glad. “you’ll be fine.” the iris member panted, letting go of his hand as she ran free fingers through her silky hair.

[leonaarv-blog]

“it doesn’t matter, you can barely lean back without wincing. so just shuttup and stop being such a dickhead for two seconds, dayoon.” leona snapped at him, narrowing her eyes at the boy. she didn’t mean to come off as rude (but she probably did) or mean but there was no other way he’d listen to her. setting down the cloth that was now colored in a bright red, she took the small bottle of iodine and opened it, taking a small cotton swab. dipping into the brown liquid, the girl cleaned around the wound for disinfecting purposes, trying not to get it into the actual cut. 

[leonaarv-blog]

“you’re in no condition to give orders, day.” leona muttered with a roll of eyes as she now focused on taking care of him. the girl was a little hesitant at taking his hand in hers, she hadn’t really done anything that required skin contact with him since the night they slept together. her hand trembled a little as she took his hand in her own before snapping out of it. she’s the one who insisted on helping him, so she’d deal with it and get it done quickly. taking the cloth, leona patted down on the wound, so that it wouldn’t hurt but it could absorb the blood easily. removing the cloth, the girl continued the same process before hesitantly looking up, looking at him. “d-does it hurt?” leona awkwardly spoke, not used to being this close to him again.

[leonaarv-blog]

“i want to make you pancakes,” leona said with a slight whine in her voice, although she was definitely not complaining about laying around with jun for a little bit longer. even though it looked impossible, leo’s smile grew bigger at the sensation of junhyung burying his head in the crook of her neck, a fuzzy and bubbly feeling overtook her stomach. it was nice. this was nice. it was calm and peaceful and loving and the total opposite of what she had with dayoon. “do you just not want to get up?” leo laughed slightly, a soft sigh escaping her lips at the feeling of his lips against her neck. at the thought, she wondered how many love bites junhyung had left her from the night before.

[leonaarv-blog]

“oooh, i sense somebody is scared for competition.” it was still easy to joke and tease around with dayoon and the smile on leona’s face faded as soon as it appeared. a part of her wished things didn’t turn out the way it did. the way her heart still raced being around him, the way she couldn’t look into his eyes because it just hurt too fucking much. maybe at a later time, the two could become friends again. or something. “no, just, just shuttup. hold on.” leona muttered as she eyed dayoon trying to get rid of the blood but to no avail. leo had spent a small portion of time in the b.o.w dorm but she knew her way around it pretty well. the brunette quickly entered the bathroom and searched through some cabinets before finding the small kit, popping up into the kitchens once again. she carefully set the kit down and washed her hands, before quickly opening the kit. the first step was to stop the bleeding, and she figured it’d stop soon. taking a sterile cloth in one hand, she held out the other. “give me your hand.”

[leonaarv-blog]

“you know me. i’d get creative and find another way just to prove you wrong,” the stubborn girl pointed out. the hospital was worried that dayoon would get addicted? that was definitely alarming, enough for the girls eyes to perk up and look at him. leona got preoccupied again by her various thoughts (it happened a lot when she was dayoon - it was either thinking too much or thinking nothing at all, no in between) before she heard dayoon and noticed the red liquid dripping from his finger. “day,” leona tried her best to hide the genuine concern she was feeling before looking at him, noticing how much he winced. the least she could do was help him out before jianyu came over. “where is your guys’ first aid kit?” she didn’t care about his protests at this point, she was going to clean the cut and patch him. leo inched a little closer to him but kept a small distant, unsure if she should still proceed forward despite wanting to help.