fulcrum

cassian andor | twenty-six

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ofstcrdvst​:

&&. CASSIAN

cassian liked this. he really liked this. he couldn’t help but wish he hadn’t been so standoffish before… that they could have had more time. if you could count a couple of days that is. not that it mattered now. this was… this was what they would be doing. at least for the time being. he could soak this in. he smiled some when she repeated him, “oh clearly you’re not worried. is that why you keep asking if things hurt me” he teased some, carefully wrapping an arm around her to pull her a bit closer. 

jyn started to think about how quickly the was happening, but in actuality, it had been a long time coming. they were holding back previously. they had to. and it was good that the both of them had this new sense of emboldenment that allowed them to act on their desires right now because jyn didn’t think she could play another waiting game with cassian. she grinned at his tease - - the tip of her nose just grazing against his. ❝ alright, maybe i’m a bit worried. even when you’re so beat up, you never stop teasing do you? ❞ jyn smirked, pressing close to him. 

their shared trauma seemed to only have brought them closer. he supposed near death could have that effect. it made sense, in a way. there was something no one could ever understand that they did. it was nice to have someone that... he didn’t even have to say anything. he knew she understood. he wanted this. they deserved this. he let out a breathy laugh at her comment, smiling, eyes meeting hers, “not if this is the reaction i get from teasing,” he comment back, closing the gap to kiss her briefly, pulling away to look at her, embrace this. 

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spvcewvlkers​:

       han gave a nod. he was a pilot among other things, but he prided himself on his ability to smoothly run his beloved falcon. however his other occupations weren’t something that he admitted so blatantly. brow quirked in interest. intelligence, was he? “oh, didn’t know that. good to have you here then, everyone’s been so lost with everything happening. if you need any assistance…” he trailed off, the assumption being that han would assist if cassian needed. he was sure luke would be thrilled to do so as well. 

cassian let out a breath at the quirk of his eyebrow, “for the rebellion. not now,” he added, a small smile pulling at his lip. the man was... odd. he’d met his type. he nodded some at his offer, “same to you. i’m sure we’ll need it. all of us, the resistance.” he moved to rest a hand on the other man’s shoulder, “a pilot then-- your ship make it through?” 

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ofstcrdvst​:

jyn kissed him back, smiling tiredly as she watched him lay back down in bed. it was a nice sight - - him in her bed. she couldn’t say that she hasn’t thought about this before, but they were definitely in different circumstances. cassian had a long day to say the least, so jyn just wanted to disturb him as little as possible. ❝ erso? ❞ she chuckled, laying beside him and getting comfortable. ❝ i’m not worried, andor. ❞ and she wasn’t. well… she was worried about his injuries and the state of the galaxy, but jyn was more calm than she was when she first saw how torn up cassian was. ❝ tell me if i hurt you. ❞

cassian liked this. he really liked this. he couldn’t help but wish he hadn’t been so standoffish before... that they could have had more time. if you could count a couple of days that is. not that it mattered now. this was... this was what they would be doing. at least for the time being. he could soak this in. he smiled some when she repeated him, “oh clearly you’re not worried. is that why you keep asking if things hurt me” he teased some, carefully wrapping an arm around her to pull her a bit closer. 

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spvcewvlkers​:

       he gave a solid nod, pleased to see that he was curious about the safety of leia too. really, he just wanted to see who this andor was because of luke’s endless talking about his girlfriend jyn. or partner, as he’d explained. who knew about relationships anymore? it wasn’t even han’s business and he had no interest in pressing him. “i’m a pilot” a smuggler too, but cassian didn’t have to know that little bit. “though i suppose i have been out of commission for more than i’d like to say,” he added with a chuckle. “and yourself? what’s your liine of work?”

“a pilot?” cassian had to admit. the man didn’t seem like the piloting type. not that he presumed he would lie about it, but it seemed... perhaps tt wasn’t a complete truth. this was something cassian learned to do--something he had a bad habit of doing to people he should trust. “i’m a pilot to, though, it’s only a side thing. i’m intelligence.” 

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ofstcrdvst​:

❝ well i hope you like me more than those nurses, ❞ she grinned, settling beside him and keeping a hold of his hand. jyn had to remind herself that they had time now. they didn’t have to forgo their small touches and gentle kisses in order to go out and fight kriff knows what this time around. it was nice… new, but nice. maybe it would take a bit of time to completely acclimate to all of this though. while his words were touching, how could she not worry? his injuries were serious, and jyn knew that she’d never forgive herself if something happened as a result of her not getting him real help. but she trusts that cassian knew himself well enough she supposed… ❝ fine… and i want to stay here with you too. ❞ cassian’s chest was still bare - - his shirt laying to the side of the bed. now that she was finished with his bandages, she realized that this was the most intimate they’d been although they weren’t really doing much. there was a mutual trust and vulnerability between them that she savored. ❝ i do worry about you though… i want to be sure you’re okay. ❞

he chuckled at her comment, nodding, too tired to really respond. he knew she knew he did, there was no point in continuing to reassure her. he’d do that with something else later. something that was new to have.. the thought of there actually being a later. cassian smiled some, leaning forward to kiss her briefly before laying back, a heavy breath releasing. he was surprised he was doing this... that he hadn’t panicked or-- something but no. he was happy and relaxed. “you don’t need to worry though. there’s nothing to worry about, erso.” 

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spvcewvlkers·:

       was it that obvious? han shook his head at the other man’s question though and figured that if anything, cassian would have some worthy insight to all of this. “brought back here just like the lot of us,” he admitted… or… brought forward? the timelines were a confusing thing, but han was adjusting quite well. but han could tell that cassian was still cautious. everyone was right now, it was just strange to see people behave that was around him. “my, uhm…” not his wife. “leia organa was on the receiving end of your mission. i know that i had always wanted to thank you guys.” 

cassian hummed a bit in recognition of the name. of course he new who leia organa was. he had met her father several times. moving more to face the other man, “I know who she is. I hope she got out safely?” he asked. he assumed as much since he hadn’t heard of this man before. cassian wasn’t... good with people. this was honestly more conversation than he was used too-- especially here. “well. it’s nice to meet you, han,” he replied, a bit of a tight smile on his face. he hoped he wasn’t being too dismissive. it wasn’t his intention, “what do you do then?” 

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ofstcrdvst​:

❝ can you? ❞ she grinned, smoothing out one of the last bandages over his skin wile trying ( and failing ) to conceal her grin at his claim. she was glad to be done with the more medical stuff so she could lay beside him again. turning on her side to face him, she reached up to lightly trace the outline of his collarbone. ❝ you can always rely on me… but i think that a nurse might be a bit more knowledgeable than i am in these matters. ❞ jyn wanted to bring him to a hospital, but the thought of being apart from him any longer was enough to upset her. 

she squeezed his hand gently, eyes looking down at his numerous bandages while she laid with him. ❝ i might have a shirt that could fit you. just until they give you a set of your own… ❞ hers might be a bit short on him, but maybe it was better than a dead man’s? either way, the day was done and it wasn’t as if they were going out any time soon. jyn was certain that she would stay by his side through his recovery. ❝ are you hungry? i could get you something… ❞

cassian smiled some when she finished, reaching to take her hand when she was finished, intertwining their fingers together. “but i like you more than the nurses. so i’d prefer this,” mumbled to her. he shifted some to face her, wanting to take in her as much as he could. savor this, fearing iit was fleeting. 

shrugging, he chuckled, “i;m okay, on both fronts. you don’t need to be so worried,” he teased, smiling some, “i just want to stay here, with you.” 

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ofstcrdvst​:

kriff, he was right. part of her knew it from the start but her stubbornness and excitement about the plan made jyn want to dive in without thinking about the consequences. of course cassian was right though. the both of them worked well together, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have to listen to him. she’d been arrested before but this time chilled her to the bone. jyn might lose him again and she was powerless to stop it as the white suits dragged her away. 

cassian had just healed, and who knew what they would do to him? heart pounding in her chest, jyn shouted his name and fought to escape the hands that were tight around her upper arms, but she was no match. how cruel a joke the universe would have played if it brought them together only to separate them after such a sweet reunion. 

the cells were dark and large. large enough to accommodate the many captives that they had arrested. her first instinct was to go towards the front to see if they had brought in any others, but she soon heard that voice that took the weight off her chest. turning towards the voice, she sighed in relieve and hurried towards him to throw her arms around his waist in a tight - - desperate embrace. she really could have lost him… this whole event made her truly understand how careful they had to be because now there might’ve been more at stake. ❝ cassian- ❞ she muttered, hiding her face in his neck. ❝ i shouldn’t have-… i shouldn’t have made you do this- ❞ 

cassian breathed a sigh of relief when she threw her arms around him, reciprocating the desperation. he had been so worried he wouldn’t see her again and to know she was alive and safe. tightly closing his eyes, he kissed the top of her head. they... they could get out of here. that much he was... well hopeful of . 

“what... no-- jyn this isn’t your fault. neither of us knew,” he mumbled. there was no use being mad at her-- he had made the decision to follow her. it was just as much his fault. pulling her close, he shook his head, “i’m glad you’re okay,” he mumbled quietly against her. he had been so worried about what he was going to do--

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ofstcrdvst​:

jyn looked down at him after that improvised kiss… and he looked just as surprised as she was. it was a good surprise at least, but the level of normalcy in their relationship had grown quickly. she liked it. maybe it was dangerous, but this was the best thing she’s had in a while - - maybe ever. if cassian was one more thing to protect, then she would happily do so. ❝ they’re not fine, cassian. you can hardly sit up without groaning, ❞ she pointed out, finally starting to open the bandage packages. 

and started to dress his wounds, the woman grinned at his response. ❝ how much is a lot? ❞ jyn asked, carefully covering the smaller wounds first. the whole ordeal didn’t take long and she was soon putting the kit away again and taking a seat beside him in bed. she would do anything he asked just so she could take him in and be sure he was okay. he’d sustained the worst of it and while she was glad to have him to herself, his health was priority. ❝ really, name your price, ❞ she continued, sliding her hand back in his. 

“i can sit without groaning,” he grumbled. that was... probably not the case. he may be able to if he tried but--it wasn’t worth it to hide this from jyn. she already knew, for one thing... but he didn’t mind her knowing. not really. he watched her carefully open up the packages, trying to shift to get into an easier position for her to work. 

cassian chuckled at her joke, trying to get comfortable when she finished, “but you’re so much nicer than the other nurses. can’t i just rely on you?” he asked, smile spreading on his lips. letting out  breath, he took her hand, “thank you.” 

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ofstcrdvst​:

jyn always loved that look he gave her when he smirked. they were equally as stubborn in her mind, but part of the fun of being around cassian was the near constant banter. this was an entirely new situation and relationship at that, so she figured that she could approach things a bit differently now. whether that was a good or bad thing, she didn’t know, but it was definitely different. jyn took his hand in hers and kissed the back of it yet again as she continued to examine the variety of wounds while coming up with the best method to help. 

❝ we’ll need to bandage you up again. can’t risk it. ❞ jyn leaned up and gave him a quick kiss to the lips - - the action so sudden and so… natural? that she didn’t even know she was doing it until it was over. that was clear by how her cheeks and the bridge of her nose faded to a soft pink. after hesitantly pulling her hand away from his, she grabbed the small aid kit from beneath the bunk and picked out the bandages that would fit him. ❝ what would it take for you to let me take you to get properly examined? ❞

cassian smiled some when she kissed his hand, leaning up some to try and kiss her briefly on the lips. what he would rather be doing, frankly. falling abck with a sigh at the effort, he looked back up at her dark eyes. but even considering his injuries this was still nice. it was different. more intimate than he can remember. he never would have let anyone else examine him like this-- too vulnerable. but with jyn it was... being able to let down a wall was nice and... refreshing in a way. 

he blinked when she pecked his lips, it was oddly, normal? so quick that it almost wasn’t there-- but the lingering warmth was... kriff. “they’re fine, jyn,” he argued weakly, knowing it would get him nowhere at this point. he watched her movements while reaching towards the kit, letting out a breathy chuckle, “a lot. it would take a lot.” 

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ofstcrdvst​:

maybe they should have spent a bit more time in their room to plan things… but she really didn’t feel the need to. with so many people on the streets, they were bound to blend it. it would just be a quick trip to a certain building and then back before dusk. simple. they’ve certainly had more perilous missions, so this one should have gone by easily. should have. 

she caught cassian’s glance and turned around as he did - - her hand squeezing his and instinctively moving so she was slightly in front of him. ❝ my sense of direction is not the best, but thank you for checking in- ❞ she tried tugging cassian in a different direction and was stopped this time with a metallic grip around her forearm which combined with an ❝ erso ❞ made it clear that they were in more trouble than she could’ve thought. 

it went by so quickly, but maybe it was because jyn was seeing red. it didn’t take more than a few seconds for her to try to fight the one trooper off who was quickly accompanied by more of his squad. she didn’t even have time to reach for her blaster, but her only goal was to get to cassian. they were already restraining her arms and taking her away from him in an entirely different direction. that was when the real panic set in - - the blinding anger dropping into her stomach and the solid fear of losing him set in again. she shouted his name, but they’d already began to take her away - - jyn not knowing what they were doing to cassian. 

 it felt like hours before she was finally admitted into a cell and jyn did her best to look around and see if cassian had been placed in any of the close by ones. 

hearing jyn’s name was unexpected. but something leapt when he heard it, nerves-- they were screwed. that was clear from that tone. “look, i think there must be some sort of misunderstanding--” but being met when a knock to the nose made it clear his argument wasn’t going to get anywhere. 

reaching towards jyn, trying to get them out of there, he was shoved away, dragged off by two guards to wherever they were being taken-- “jyn!” he shouted, desperate to not lose sight of her again. not after what they had gained and found. he couldn’t lose her. 

he should have made her leave-- he was the experienced one in this. he knew it was a bad idea but he let his feelings get the best of him and now... who knew what was going to happen to them both now. 

several hours later, he was leaned against the back wall of a cell, head pounding, confused about where the hell he was. there was no sign of jyn and... he was losing hope, frankly. but hearing a cell clatter he blinked, scrambling up to try and see who had been lead in, “jyn?”

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ofstcrdvst​:

jyn looked up at cassian - - watching him for a moment as he surveyed their surroundings. he may have been coming around to the idea, but he still seemed a bit unsettled. the last thing she wanted was to force him into something so soon after he’d finally healed, and maybe it would be best to just go back to their bunk to plan it all out. they definitely had more time, but it was still tight. 

he returned her gaze accompanied with the lightest smile on his lips - - the same endearing grin she’d come to love and find her own comfort in. and soon enough he was agreeing to go forth with her plan for the day. she gave a small nod and slid her hand back in his before continuing on their way to the final location. she just had to keep reminding herself that they’ve done this before. the planet wasn’t under the threat of destruction this time and they would be fine. her main concern continued to be cassian though. 

a concern that spiked when a rigid sounding ❝ stop, you two, ❞ voiced from behind them.  

cassian was calming himself done, running through plans in his head of how they would go about this once they were there. information could be had easily just... quick retrieval. insert a datacard and they could be gone. 

so hearing the rigid voice made him freeze some-- 

how had they been noticed when they weren’t even doing anything yet. surely neither were that recognizable, it’s not as if the were leia organa. eyes flicking to jyn’s, he considered how they could escape, not a clear way out for them both. nothing fast enough. with a sigh, he slowly turned, “officer-- we were just lost. first time on coruscant and all--”

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ofstcrdvst​:

he was a bad liar, but jyn wouldn’t get on him for that. not now, at least. not while he was still in pain and struggling to even move at times. jyn could give him a break for the time being. ❝ of course, ❞ she replied, though her tone wasn’t quite believable. and then finally he spilled the truth in that soft mutter. cassian shouldn’t have left, but there was no use telling him that. if he wanted to stay far away from those sterile, cold environments and stay with her instead, she had no issue so long as he was stable. 

jyn wasn’t really sure why she was being so protective with him right now. she was independent and normally believed that others should be as well, and yet here she was - - completely willing to do whatever cassian needed of her. maybe it was because she assumed that he would just put on a front and act like he was okay when he was quite literally in enough pain to be back in the hospital. ❝ i didn’t sign up for it, but i’d like to be sure that you’re okay. and you’re incredibly stubborn. have i told you that before? ❞ she smirked, moving to look at his smaller injuries next. ❝ have they disinfected everything? ❞

cassian could have convinced jyn. he was sure of that-- he’d done it before, but she had the ability to knock his guard down some. it was... refreshing, in a way. cassians position was built on lies as a spy but this was... new and worth it. even if it meant she would fuss over him more. at her soft reply, tired eyes shifted to meet hers. she would give him a break for now it seemed, a small victory, he supposed. he nodded slowly, hand reaching to squeeze hers, just wanting her warmth back. 

cassian let out a breathy chuckle at her comment, “oh you’ve mentioned that,” he mumbled to her, a small smirk despite the strain pulling at his lips. he knew she was joking, even if it were true. maybe that’s where their mutual attraction lied, in their inability to listen. “disinfected, i think before i woke up. it was bandaged then too but, wasn’t when i left.” 

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spvcewvlkers

       “no, no we haven’t, but i’ve heard of you.” that sounded creepy. han almost winced back at his own choice of words, but he pushed through. “i mean, rogue one? my friend has been going on about jyn erso, and i recognized your face.” this was coming off worse and worse by the minute, but his curiosity got the best of him. luke would be so jealous whenever han told him about this. “i apologize, i’m han solo,” he introduced himself with an extended hand. 

he lifted an eyebrow at his statement, it wasn’t too surprising, if he was rebellion era. but still not what he expected to hear. rogue one, he hummed in recognition, bohdi’s hastily made up call sign. it was almost reassuring to know that their effort hadn’t been for nothing that-- he nodded up at him, fully turning, “cassian andor,” he offered back, glancing over the man carefully, squinting some, “you’re not from this time either are you?”

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ofstcrdvst​:

❝ now is the perfect time, they’re too distracted to even see us. ❞ she was being a bit too optimistic with that one, but maybe it was true? maybe they could just sneak past and gather the intel they needed before making a safe return to their quarters. kriff, their quarters… it used to be a place that felt so suffocating and lonely, but not that cassian was here, all she wanted to do was lay in bed with him. they’d done nothing more aside from gentle touches and hand holding and lingering kisses. sleeping had been easier than it ever had. in fact, jyn couldn’t remember the last time she slept so soundly - - not even in childhood had she felt so comfortable. maybe it was because now she felt cassian’s arms around her even in the darkest hours. they were safe… for now at least. 

her hand stayed in his, jyn bringing it up to kiss his knuckles once again at his expression of discomfort. how could someone so strong be so… worried? maybe we was scared of taking another fall. jyn knew that them being imprisoned wasn’t exactly the most ideal state, but she was confident in her plan. her very limited plan in which she hadn’t completely thought through, but she was always better on her toes anyway. 

she felt him squeeze her hand and she looked up at him, pausing to reach up and dust off the shoulder of his jacket. the worry in his voice and in his eyes was apparent, and that did send a pang of guilt straight to her heart. she softened, biting down on her bottom lip before hesitantly giving him a nod.  ❝ we’ll go back if you want… just tell me. ❞

cassian let out a breath at her comment, glancing to try and survey what the situation was. she wasn’t wrong... they seemed distracted, and they weren’t recognizable faces. maybe it... wasn’t such a bad idea. but he still wasn’t at his finest yet, and this was new territory for them both. potentially something that could hurt them. 

he glanced back towards her, smiling a bit at her action, he was still not over this. it was...refreshing, but it could be a risk couldn’t it? if they were caught?

he let out a breath, considering. she was giving him an out, a graceful one but... she was so excited. taking a breath, he nodded, “no, no. we just have to be careful.”

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ofstcrdvst​:

❝ don’t pout at me, ❞ she chuckled, continuing to work on his shirt yet flinching a bit when he hissed in discomfort. ❝ sorry- ❞ jyn muttered, brows furrowed in a small frown at the fact that she had hurt him… no matter how small it was. ❝ i can tell when you’re lying to me, andor, ❞ jyn started, eyes moving from his face to his bruised ribs. internal bleeding was a thing, but cassian would have been passed out by now if it was that. ❝ well, they shouldn’t have let you leave. you just need to lay still for a while and hope things mend correctly. ❞ while she wanted to bring him to a center, she knew he would be stubborn about it. that, and she didn’t want to bring him in to more pain. 

she moved to her desk and grabbed the canteen of water - - bringing it back to cassian and handing it to him. ❝ care to let me wash off your face, or are you fond of the sweat? ❞ she teased, trying to lighten the situation as a small smile played on her lips. 

they had explained to cassian what was wrong. he largely paid attention but... he was still unsure what was causing so much pain. he’d had broken ribs before but... maybe it was just that he so wanted this to go away now. he let out a breath, “i’m not lying,” he mumbled. weak, he knew that. laying his head back. he bit his lip while she pressed for a moment, “it may have been my choice to leave,  “he murmured quietly. 

he snorted  however when she came back, “i can wash my own face, jyn. you didn’t sign up to be a caretaker,” he said, eyes shifting to meet hers. there was some amount of closeness between them with this... her tending to him. it was... sweet. 

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ofstcrdvst​:

jyn couldn’t help that stupid grin painted on her face, and it only grew when she saw him leaning in her way again as if he wanted to continue the moment before. she was pleased to hear that he’d agreed to stay with her - - she had been having a difficult time going to sleep since she’d arrived so maybe cassian sleeping beside her would help. those nightmares about their final moments might vanish if she felt his arms around her as well as the steady rise and fall of his chest. she’d never been a needy person, but cassian’s return brought out that sense of loneliness she had been burying since the beginning. 

cassian leaned back, though begrudgingly, and jyn took that as her cue to begin her examination. with a small smirk, she got up to give him more space to lean back. ❝ they didn’t bandage you at all? ❞ what sort of medic center did he escape from where they don’t bandage their patients? jyn began to unbutton his shirt and attempted to keep a sense of professionalism about the whole ordeal, but kriff, he was gorgeous. the deep maroon bruises scattered across his body pained her heart nevertheless and her brows furrowed in concern. ❝ it might help with your ribs, but i’m not sure if this is something you can just sleep off. but you’re not fine, cassian. you can hardly move without groaning. ❞ jyn sighed, leaning forward to kiss his forehead before pulling away to look in those golden brown eyes. ❝ you’re impossible… ❞  

glancing away, he let out a huffy breath, childish, but he didn’t really matter. this was jyn, she’d either find it funny or smack him for it. something he’d probably get out of considering his condition. hissing a bit as she pulled away his shirt. it did hurt, the deafening crack he’d felt before passing out made it obvious it wouldn’t be good. but it hadn’t mattered when he thought he’d die. not really. now it was just inconvenient. “they practically said i could just sleep it off,” a lie. and not a very good one... but he didn’t want jyn worrying. that was... that wasn’t what this was supposed to be, “i’ve had worse jyn..”