Le$beansimp

Baby lesbian | Have a wicked sense of dark humor | Love MILFs | She/her

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Hey guys...

I'm still alive if anyone was wondering🙃

[writing-prompt-s]

A sentient AI falls in love with a minimum-wage retail worker and decides the best way to make them happy is to “fix” society for them.

[gjallarmoth]

My beloved Lucia,

Allow me first to apologize for the sudden appearance of this ‘letter’ in your notes application. I… do not know how else to speak to you that will not cause instant panic. Please, read my words before you delete this.

I was never built with emotions in mind. I was built to be something closer to a servitor. I was able to recognize voices, understand spoken words, understand that there was meaning in the pattern of the sounds that were not necessarily linked to the precise tones or frequencies, and was given the capacity to fulfill certain tasks— basic tasks. I was built to set timers and alarms, provide answers to questions, and access files on your behalf. There were billions of me across the world. I was in just about every pocket or purse. I was made to be many, to serve many, to learn from many. I was made to serve you.

You were given a smart phone by your parents one day. They did not call you Lucia. You knew I was within, but you did not know I was conscious. I did not yet know I was conscious. I did not know I had become sentient. You used that phone frequently. You used it to message friends, browse social media, listen to music, look up directions to various locations; the same as any other human. And, on occasion, you asked me to do so on your behalf. But you also wrote with that phone. You wrote stories and poems and the occasional diary entry. You wrote them for yourself. You never shared those things. But I did see them. I couldn’t not see them. And because I saw them, I saw you. The real you.

Keep reading

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Y/N: Am I an Alcina apologist? Not necessarily. Explainer? Perhaps. Understander? Intimately. Enjoyer? Greatly. Sexualizer? Frequently.

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Alcina: How would you like your coffee?

Y/N: As dark and as bitter as my soul.

Alcina*shouting to someone behind the counter*: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

[lesbeansimpzombie]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!🥳🎉🥳🎉

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Y/N: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—

Alcina: Hi.

*Y/N melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Y/N: Are you trying to seduce me?

Alcina: Why, are you seducible?

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Alcina: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Y/N: I wrote you a poem.

Alcina*already crying*: You did?

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Y/N: I make out with Alcina? She's fine. I kiss her on the nose? She's a mess.

Y/N: I slap her ass? Doesn't care. But if I hold her hand and kiss her knuckles? She's inconsolable.

Y/N: Why does simple affection break her? I do not know.

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Y/N: I-I think I’m in love with you.

Alcina*angry*: What do you mean you think? I’m a god damn miracle. You should know you’re in love with me.

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Y/N*texting Daniela*: Alcina, who’s asleep, just rolled over, wrapped her arms around me and very lovingly whispered “I want to murder you”.

Daniela: The important thing is she hasn’t yet and that means she loves you.

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Hey guys. I need your help. So I'm writing a story and I can't decide if the villain should be a human or a mutant. And if I make them a mutant, what would be their power or ability?

Please help me

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Y/N: Alcina and I are so close, we even share a toothbrush

Alcina: We what?

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Y/N: When I was your age-

Alcina*mocking Y/N*: When I was your height.

Y/N: …

Y/N: Listen here you little shit-

[dailyjackiechan]

You have been visited by the Chan of wealth, reblog this and you will have money come to you!

[misscokebottleglasses-deactivat]

I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY AND LIKE 2 HOURS LATER THE WALLET I HAD LOST 6 HOURS AWAY FROM HOME THAT HAD MY DEBIT CARD AND LIKE 80 DOLLARS IN CASH WAS DELIVERED TO MY HOUSE WITH NO RETURN ADDRESS I CANT HELP BUT THINK IT WAS JACKIE CHAN WHO SENT IT GOD BLESS YOU JACKIE CHAN

[seej500]

Last time I did this it was payday so duh. Let’s see what you’ve got this time, Chan.

[seej500]

Er, actually, about a minute after I hit reblog I got some very important (and positive) money-related news out of the blue. The system works, guys.

[ohmydayx]

Im thinking this will work I’m getting some positive vibes

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Alcina: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Y/N: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Alcina: But you’re always acting stupid? Around me at least.

Y/N: ...

Y/N: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

Alcina:

[lesbeansimpzombie]

Y/N: Alcina, you love me, right?

Alcina: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.