Now that some time has passed from that whole sagutoyas fiasco, I actually do want to say something about clouded moon that isn't just about how the authors supporting a well known groomer is horrible.
The over-reliance on supplemental material has been mentioned by many people, but to give you an idea of how bad it is, I'm going to be talking about Snowstorm. He's not in the book much, you can count his appearances on one hand, so let me go through everything he does in this book. This will contain spoilers (though the biggest spoiler is posted on the clouded moon tumblr account for anyone who searches his name to see, which is something the writers encourage you to do, so I guess it's not that important of a spoiler...)
His first ever appearance is him carrying Sunfire's dead body back to camp, and that's all he does. He doesn't say or react to anything, and nobody really pays attention to him.
In his second ever appearance 11 chapters later, he's said to be a member of Ice's family. Is he her uncle? Brother? Cousin? Grandpa? Who knows! The book doesn't say! This is the sentence that mentions him:
"In the following days, Ice was never without at least one family member by her side. Pool, Kestrelsnap, Indigoeyes, Falconswoop, and even Snowstorm made regular visits to her in the patients’ den, each time hoping her pain would ease enough for her to have a full conversation."
The use of the phrasing "even Snowstorm" seems to imply that it's unusual for him to visit an injured family member, which indicates that he might not usually care about his family? Maybe? I don't know because this is literally the first mention of any sort of personality trait of his, and it's something that's implied about him and not given much explanation. He seems pretty caring to me so far, though.
Next, he takes part in the fight against the bears in chapter 14, but he only says one line that doesn't say much about him:
"Before Wildfur could stop him, Pool rushed back down into the base. “Falconswoop, are you okay?” The stocky gray-and-white molly had a scratch on her flank that oozed a streak of red down her leg, but it was not as deep as it appeared. Pool purred in relief and groomed the blood from her fur.
“I’m fine, thank you very much,” Snowstorm grumbled."
Is he making a joke? Is he being a jerk? Is he upset that his family members don't seem concerned about him? I dunno! This is like his first ever line in the book & nobody pays it any mind so I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel about it. At the very least he seems pretty cooperative during the fight.
In chapter 17, he's simply called "aggravating" by Hawkshell.
"Snowstorm was an option, but who would be willing to accompany the aggravating tom?"
We've never really seen him be aggravating in this book so this is just an example of the book telling us what he's like instead of showing us. His only appearances so far, carrying a dead ranger back to camp, comforting his injured family member, & helping to fight off the bears, doesn't really make him read as aggravating, so why does Hawkshell have this opinion of him? We haven't seen her interact with him at all so who knows!
His next appearance is in the climax of the book, where he (spoiler alert!) runs away from the bears & leaves alliance territory out of shame of being a coward. That's it. He's not shown or even mentioned after this. Here's the passage:
"Snowstorm cursed the lack of Field-land speed as the mother’s paws came down and he narrowly avoided their crushing weight. He latched onto her leg and bit down, shaking his head from one side to the other. Any other opponent would have had a nasty tear from such an attack, but he tasted no blood, and his paws were red only from the clay-dusted ground.
The bear lifted her paw and slammed it to the ground. Snowstorm landed some distance away, and rather than launch himself back into the fight, he ran for the bushes—then the forest, then the marshes. The sounds of the
battle faded into the distance as his paws moved him further and further, first toward the Marsh Colony base, then beyond it. There would be no home for him there after such cowardice."
We're at the climactic battle of the book & we're just shoved into his perspective as he runs away. (This would be a great time to point out the weird POV shifts & how it ruins the flow of the story but I'll leave that for another day if I ever feel the urge to talk about this book again) I guess I'm supposed to view him as a coward since the book outright tells me that's what he is, but it's just so sudden & is such a contrast to the very few things he's done in this book that I honestly don't know how to feel about it. It doesn't help that there's no build-up or follow-up to him leaving. He's just a random background character that leaves in the middle of a fight & that's it. Nobody reacts to it so it just feels pointless.
So here's what we know about this character: 1. He is related to Ice 2. Hawkshell thinks he's aggravating 3. He's a coward who ran away from the fight with the bears. That's all we know about him from the book, but supplementary material allows us to expand upon this.
For point number 1, we can look to the marsh colony family tree to see that he is the son of Kestrelsnap & Indigoeyes as well as Falconswoop's littermate, making him Ice & Pool's older brother. This also makes him Whitefire's grandson, Hawkshell's grand-nephew, & Sunfire's cousin (he has no reaction to Sunfire's death, which might've been an important part of his personality if we were ever told that he was related to Sunfire, but the book doesn't point out his lack of reaction to Sunfire's death. It would've been a good indication that Snowstorm doesn't care about his family, but this book low-key treats Hawkshell as Sunfire's one and only family member.) Another familial connection of his that you can only find here is that he is Boulder's father. You know, the guy who beats up Pool every training session... apparently he's doing that to his uncle, & apparently his aunt Falconswoop can't do anything about it. I can believe that Boulder doesn't care about his family considering he's just a jerk, but the scene where Boulder beats up Pool makes sure to mention that Falconswoop is Pool's sister, & Falconswoop is much more caring so it'd be nice to maybe mention that she doesn't like the way Halfmask is training her nephew? You know, to establish that familial connection? Halfmask is also Boulder's uncle, apparently, but he's only ever mentioned to be his teacher. But I'm getting ahead of myself. This is supposed to be about Snowstorm. I don't know if Boulder got his attitude from his father or in spite of his father because we never see them interact. He might as well just not be his father. Mudtrail is his ex-mate, which is also not mentioned in the book. Why did she choose him as a mate? Why did they break up? How do they feel about each other now? How does Boulder feel about his parents' divorce? Is that why he's so angry all the time? I dunno! The book doesn't explore any of this! Snowstorm has all these familial connections that the book doesn't mention, so we're just supposed to know ahead of time & fill in the gaps, I guess!
So onto point number 2: Hawkshell thinks he's aggravating. Hawkshell, his great aunt. A member of his family. Hawkshell, who is very emotional about her kin (or maybe just Sunfire, I guess?) has a very negative view about her grand-nephew, & we have no idea why! We're just told that he's aggravating by the book & we're just supposed to take Hawkshell's word for it. None of his other appearances make him seem aggravating! Quite the opposite, since his only appearances before this are him caring about his injured sister & cooperating in the fight against the bears with little issue except a single quip that nobody reacted to. He's only had one line at this point! & this isn't even a moment of "I guess Boulder takes after him" or something because we don't know that Boulder is his son! There is supplementary material that adds more to this, but I'll talk about that in a second.
Now into point number 3, which is basically the only point in the book where he can actually be considered a character. After doing almost nothing all book, we're suddenly shifted into his POV during the climactic battle of the book & it's extremely clunky. He's fighting one of the bears, then gets scared & runs off, then decides to run into the unbound lands because marsh colony wouldn't accept him back after showing such cowardice. So what does this tell us about his character? Well, besides being a coward. I don't know if this really makes him aggravating (the only real aggravating thing about him is his writing). Perhaps he has a low self-image? Insecurity issues? Maybe he looks down on cowards & is ashamed to be something he considers inferior? Maybe he's been trying to prove himself & he thinks he lost his chance? I don't know. this is the one time he's ever actually done something, & there's nothing about his character previously to compare this moment to, or to give us a clue as to what led him to consider his cowardice something that marsh colony wouldn't accept.
So what exactly is Snowstorm's personality? Well, here's what the clouded moon wiki has to say:
"Snowstorm is an aloof and haughty Marsh Colony tom. Raised by two respected parents and treated well all his life, he has become vain and self-centered, thinking little of how his actions and behavior can affect others around him. He believes that he is as faultless and virtuous as can be, and doesn't feel the need to prove himself to anyone — including his ex-mate Mudtrail and his son Boulder. Snowstorm is exactly the kind of cat who will somehow make every conversation about himself, and every cat around him will just shake their heads and sigh as he continues to babble on." (Note: this is not an "official" source, but it's linked on the clouded moon masterpost on the tumblr so the writers do expect readers to use it as a reference)
From the shadowclan drawing a blank episode (which came out back when this was a warriors fanfic & before the lore changes):
"Snowstorm is an aloof and self-crntered [Marsh colony] Tom. An average [ranger] who doesn't feel the need to prove himself to anyone, including his ex-mate Mudtrail or his son Boulder. Snowstorm is exactly the kind of cat who will somehow make ever conversation about himself, and every cat around him will just shake their heads and sigh as he continues to babble on."
From the marsh colony drawing a blank episode (which came out after the book, so it wasn't there as a reference for anyone who read the book on release day. It's not too different from the shadowclan video but I wanted to take this as an opportunity to point out that a lot of the video references they WANT the reader to watch weren't available when the book released): "Snowstorm is way more confident in his abilities than he has any right to be. This self-centered tom thinks everyone should be impressed with him, but isn't all that bothered when cats ignore him either. He's self-confident, and if his mate, Mudtrail, and son, Boulder, aren't that impressed with him, then that's their loss. Snowstorm prefers not to get his soft paws dirty, and many in the colony find Snowstorm to be a bit of a pain when it comes to getting work done."
Did we get any of that from the book? Well, no. We didn't. We didn't see him be self-centered. Quite the opposite when he visited Ice after her injury, which I guess is meant to be unusual for him, but it's hard to understand how unusual it is considering it's his first ever appearance & is never shown being self-centered before that point. I guess that one comment of him saying "I'm fine, thanks for asking" might count but, like, that was such a nothing line. Nobody even reacted to it. & It's easy to interpret it in ways other than him being self-centered. We never saw his lack of consideration for how his actions affect others. We never even saw how his actions affect others, considering he did very little in this book & no characters ever reacted to anything he did. We never saw him act faultless or virtuous. We never saw him make any conversation about himself (unless you count his one single line which wasn't a conversation, wasn't acknowledged by anyone around him, & was just a throwaway quip during a battle) we're not even told that he's Mudtrail's mate or Boulder's father! We didn't see how he prefers not to get his paws dirty considering he was pretty cooperative in battle & didn't complain. Unless that's the reason he ran from the fight with the bears? But that seemed more like him running away out of fear for his life rather than him not wanting to get his paws dirty. We never even saw him being a pain to work with. Nobody complained about him being chosen for the battle against the bears, & nobody gave a shit that he ran away! Nothing about this was ever shown in the freaking book!!!
If we did know all of this, it would actually make his last scene where he runs away mean something! He's stuck up & full of himself & thinks he has no faults, only to run away in the midst of battle, showing that he's everything that he looks down upon. Now, I do think that would make a decent character. The problem is that we got none of that! All we got was the conclusion to his character, & nothing leading up to it! His own headshot post on the official tumblr page spoils his ending because that's literally the only thing he ever did in the book, so it was the only passage they had to choose from!
This is what I mean when clouded moon relies too heavily on supplementary material. It expects you to watch the videos beforehand, listen to the part about Snowstorm being a smug little brat, & then read the book with that in mind so that the ending comes as a surprise. You're supposed to see the mention of him visiting Ice while she's injured & go "aww, maybe he does care!" You're supposed to read that throwaway line of his during the first attack against the bears & go "typical Snowstorm making everything about himself" & then read him running away & go "not so smug now, are you?" or whatever. But if you don't watch the videos (which you shouldn't be required to, & probably wouldn't even know about if you just picked up this book without knowing anything about it considering the youtube videos aren't mentioned anywhere in the book) you'll get none of that! So he ends up being a nothing character with a confusing & out of place moment at the end because none of his actual characterization is in the freaking book!
I actually kinda find it funny how, on his headshot post on the tumblr, there are comments cheering about his exile, & it's like... what did he do to get so much hate? He did nothing in this book that would make me cheer for his exile because he did nothing in this book! He visited his sister when she was injured & helped fight against the bears that killed his cousin. That's the only noteworthy things he did before he ran away. The only way you would cheer for his exile is if you knew he was an asshole, which is only possible if you were part of the clouded moon fandom & watched all the videos beforehand. If you just happened to see this book on whatever website it's on & order it or see it on a bookshelf, you'd get none of that! So you wouldn't cheer for his exile, you would just be confused!
This book is written like a fanfiction. It's written as though these characters are already established with a fandom that already knows how to feel about them, so the authors don't bother to establish anything. They wrongly assume the reader already knows all these characters' backstories & character traits, so they don't put in the work to include it in the book. It's just a mess!
Another thing I'd like to point out is the total lack of reaction to him running away from anyone who's relevant to him. We don't see Hawkshell calling his grand-nephew a coward or anything. We don't see Kestrelsnap or Indigoeyes upset about their son leaving, or Falconswoop, Pool or Ice having any sort of reaction, positive or negative, about their brother being a coward. We didn't see Boulder react to his father leaving. Mudtrail basically doesn't exist in this book so she doesn't do anything. He runs away & basically disappears from the narrative as if he never existed in the first place. Nobody reacts to him leaving! The authors have said on the tumblr account that his exile will be explored more in the next book, but wouldn't it make more sense to have the initial reactions to his exile in the book where he was exiled so that it's fresh in the reader's mind? That way you don't have to remind the reader what happened to him so they can remember why a particular character is feeling a certain way about it? I guess we can get ready for a bunch of exposition about "Boulder was angry about his father, Snowstorm, who had run away like a coward during the battle with the bears" & "Mudtrail was deeply embarrassed about her former mate, Snowstorm, who had been exiled for his cowardice" or "Although he was an aggravating tom, Snowstorm was still her son, and Kestrelsnap was deeply upset that she would never see him again" & stuff like that (if they even bother with it, considering how many other things they'll need to touch on in the next book). Not only are they gonna have to explain what happened, they're gonna have to explain his relationship with any character who has a reaction to it because it wasn't mentioned in this book. Unless they just expect the reader to already know about these familial connections & don't bother establishing them.
It's fine to have background characters that don't do anything, but if you're gonna give your character familial connections & relationships that matter & a climactic character moment, you should actually establish those things & have some build-up in order to make that moment land. Imagine if in Into the Wild during the battle to drive out Brokenstar, we suddenly switch to, idk, Stumpytail's perspective where he runs away out of fear for his life. Then after the book comes out, Erin Hunter releases a video saying "he was actually a major jerk this whole time so you should be happy he's gone. He's also so & so's sibling/parent/whatever & they're gonna have a lot of feelings about this in the next book" that would be a horrible writing decision, right? Well, that's what Snowstorm feels like (& yes, warriors does have a lot of retconned familial connections that aren't mentioned in the first arc, but the first arc still works well as it is cuz those unmentioned familial connections don't matter. ntm that everybody complains about the retconned familial connections that aren't listed anywhere but the website family tree because it's a bad writing decision. You'd think star cat studio would know better than to make that same mistake)
Snowstorm is not the only example of this happening, where a character's personality & family are revealed somewhere else but not in the book yet the book pretends you already know what the character is like, but he's probably the most blatant example of it. It makes him a confused & horribly written character as a result. Just goes to show that over-reliance on supplemental material will drag down your story! You want us to know something about a character? Put it in the book! you want us to have a certain opinion on a character's behavior? Put it in the book! Don't put it in a video that the reader isn't gonna watch unless they've been closely following the production of this series. PUT! IT! IN! THE! BOOK! I shouldn't have to be saying this! But I guess the star cat studio team needs a reminder on how to write a story.
Sorry that was such a long rant, but it's been sitting with me for a while & I thought that I might as well just say what's on my mind. I don't even care about Snowstorm, I just think it's extremely frustrating that he's written the way he is. Warriors doesn't even treat their characters like this! The authors should be embarrassed about that. This isn't even a problem specific to background characters cuz the main characters of the book basically have all of their backstories strictly as supplemental material. Sure, the book explains a few things in long exposition dumps, but it doesn't really land cuz it's hard to connect to things are told rather than shown. I'll never understand why these people thought it would be okay to have their book really so heavily on youtube videos. It's such a horrible way to create a story.
