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The Bowery Presents
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Kiana Khansmith

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trying on a metaphor

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shark vs the universe
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I'd rather be in outer space đž

@theartofmadeline

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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Jules of Nature
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@lesbianbongwater
ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal
video game with a flaccid -> boner meter in the ui but the whole game it never changes at all and nothing makes the boner meter go up so youre jusg aware of the protags flaccid penis the whole time for no good reason
to be clear in my thinking this would only work in a completely nonsexual game, of course it Could have a function in some sort of porn game depending on the sorta porn youre going for but thats not really my idea here. this concept only works to me if its completely useless and unrelated & the protag isnt even sexualized even a little bit, otherwise i think it loses its charm. you just have to know about their penis and you have to wonder why the entire game and you have to try and figure that out until you realize theres no reason and youre just aware of their penis because the dev is probably fucked in the head or something like that. and then by that point youve reached the highest level of connection possible with a game developer aside from maybe ambushing them from behind and drinking all their blood until they die. and thats how we fix the gaming industry
There is no greater bond on this earth than when you all despise and carry untold righteous anger about one person and then when youâre all together someone is like âso about that dead horseâ and everyone starts sounding like Michael Jackson with the way theyâre chanting beat it
Due to my weird childhood and my weird brain, I have this very unhelpful compulsion to conceal Everything I do from Everyone. I Cannot be observed performing any action, no matter how mundane. My nervous system is convinced I'm gonna, like, Get In Trouble for eating food at dinnertime or sleeping in my bed at bedtime.
I've taken to asking myself, "Okay does this task actually require subterfuge or am I stealing a balloon on Free Balloon Day"
cake is such an underappreciated band. i canât believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40
iâm just saying cakeâs music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasnât for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didnât always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasnât ready for them
The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature
well if there's no girls in it then it automatically sucks shit okays?
as per my last straw,
hey real quick can anybody help me find this image that Iâve seen before here on tumblr. it looks like this
the button doesnât necessarily say âElucidate the Raptureâ but it does say something thatâs kind of lengthy and has religious connotations. the woman pushing the button has an expression of indescribable smugness. there might be other buttons on the machine (?) she is pressing.
FOUND IT
Oh this is only the first image in the Eschatron 9000 Series
and the finale, because of the Tumblr image limit
thanks this is part of an even grander incomprehensibleness than I could have expected
I cannot believe that this is a website where you can ask âhey i think i saw a weird image onceâ and put a bad stick figure drawing of it and someone will be like âoh yeah thatâs the first installment of a 12-part post-ironic apocalypse fever dream photoshop seriesâ and just hand you a dozen of the most unhinged images youâve ever seen in your life, that still have a better three act structure than most modern cinema
I dont think thats the whole photosetâŠ. I found one more
But from what i can gather thats Crystal Thierry, also known as page73girl. Who seems to have been a model for the now defunct biggestletdown.comâŠ
But i have no idea when the eschatron 9000 pictures were made or for that matter the original photos that were used to make it
this is far more than ârandom person in 2005ish creates surreal visual narrativeâ - letâs go deeper down the rabbit hole, shall we?
to Immanentize the Eschaton means to bring about utopian conditions and create heaven on Earth
the phrase is first cited in the Discordian religious text, Principia Discordia (1963), for whom Discord (aka Eris) is goddess:
the first line of Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Sheaâs 1975 The Illuminatus! trilogy: âIt was the year when they finally immanentized the Eschaton.â
in Frederik Pohlâs The Eschaton Sequence (1997 - 1999), the human race is caught up in a galactic war between two alien races attempting to immanentize the eschaton
in Ken Macleod's The Stone Canal (1997), one of the chapters is âAnother crack at Immanentising the Eschatonâ
Crystal Thierryâs (aka the modern Discordia / Eris) narrative lives in esteemed company
hereâs what the warning in the image says btw because i wanted to read it but it was too blurry so i had to spend several minutes hunting for a version with better resolution, so Iâm posting it here so nobody else has to make that same journey
âDO NOT OPERATE THE ESCHATRON 9000 UNLESS YOUâRE REALLY, REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT DESTROYING THE WORLDâ
woman moment
Blood Ridge Rider - gouache on wood panel, about 6x13"
you can jerk off and you can fuck off. you can tell a jerkoff to fuck off. you can jerk off a jerkoff. you can fuck off with a jerkoff. you can fuck with a jerk but you cant jerk with a fuck. you can fuck up but you cant jerk up. a jerk aint worth a fuck but a fuck is worth more than a jerk. in theory
eepy mourning dove cupping its wings under its belly for cushion ©Ella