What a bloody mess...

36. He/him. A Jam-up Guy

[starr-ghost]

*lemony snicket voice* police cars say ‘protect and serve’ for the same reason a box of dry, unflavoured rice cakes might say ‘delicious treat’. rice cakes are not a delicious treat, nor are the police there to protect and serve, but if you are unfamiliar with either you’re likely to believe what you’re told.

[squid-girl]

I think this is my favorite post on the Internet right about now! Edit: And I just needed to Edit this Photo 4 TIMES till it worked here… #youarewelcome #tumblrnoob #learnhowtotumblr

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

[wario-land]

A family

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

Why does this read like an insult

[anais-ninja-bitch]

wouldn't you like to know, brunch boy? you sandwich-eating so-and-so.

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

[nintendometro]

What are the most fun powers in ‘Kirby’s Adventure’?

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You are an adventurer in a generic fantasy world and you use this weapon!

Do you like it?

YES!!!!!

yes

Eh it's okay

No

NO!!!!!!!

Remaining time: 7 hours 48 minutes

[alynnl]

[uprightbat]

[bettedavisgf]

no offense to the english but i just found out england has only ever won the world cup once.. wtf do you mean “it’s coming home” she doesn’t even know you omg

[reagantheteenagewitch]

maybe if we keep speculating about mitch mcconnell more different repub senators will drop dead

[dumbpuppyfag]

UNGRATEFUL tech companies are saying things like "turn off your ad blocker" and "we need your photo id" instead of "thank you so much for not just pirating our shit, youre so handsome"

[noknowshame]

mitch mcconnell is siphoning the life force off other politicians

[summoningraziel]

Turns out his name was really Lich McConnell.

[razielim]

[wifegideonnav]

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

[kryptonians]

Tumblr’s one true talent is making me sick of things I’ve never seen or read or heard.

[captain-price-unofficially]

I never see a whole family driving in a cyber truck. It’s always one man all alone.

[dogpuppy]

[haughtyraban]

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

[dragongirlsnout]

I have come to realise that perhaps I just live in a completely separate dimension from the median gamer

[dragongirlsnout]

Even outside the obvious "where has the strength of your convictions gone", I have to say; I have never had the thought of spending *checks notes*

$800 (tax inc.) on a single-purpose device to play a game that released in 1998

[dragongirlsnout]

I would simply buy a cheaper game

[dragongirl-wings]

me when I just don't buy the ludicrously overpriced game

[sinsinewave]

gamers will also go "vote with your wallets" about everything and then proceed to not do that

[skautism]

[tazri]

Last month I caught Covid, and right at the start of my symptoms I saw this post. For the next 8ish days, I was HAUNTED by this song. It played on a loop in my head for hours. I would wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat singing “…mixed with Zach Galifianakis” as it bounced around in my virus-addled brain. It was literally inescapable.

Anyway as soon as that ended, the Morbin Time memes started so you can imagine how that went for me, who would be deliriously sick for another 5 days.

[tazri]

Happy 3 year anniversary to this post, Zach Galifianakis still haunts me in my fucking dreams like the predator