addictchild

a mother's journey

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Blog Suspended

Alcohol Story

I waited for good luck to return. I waited for my daughter to recover from addiction. Throwing away Laura’s wedding dress, which I had decided was a harbinger, did not bring calm. A desperate measure taken by a desperate mother. I am suspending addict child; a mother’s journey, and here is the reason: A malicious person is quoting my website to abuse another person. I cannot accept that. I…

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Voodoo Wedding Dress

Alcohol Omen

Hard to believe what had to happened to our family, the degeneration of our daughter through alcohol and drugs. Every waking hour I carried this burden: My daughter is an alcoholic drug abuser. Laura put herself at risk. I dreamt of  her as a child, before alcohol claimed her. Anxiety bubbled in me it would not let me rest. I would get out of bed to drink cups of tea, to stare at the television…

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Suicide Blonde

Alcohol Emotion

Husband and I took a country walk which happened to lead to the road near to Laura’s house. We walked on the pavement, when we saw Laura heading on the opposite side. I recognised her walk, I recognised her frame, I recognised her uniform. I did not recognise her hair. Husband and I crossed the road to greet our daughter. ‘Thought I’d have a change,’ she said. She lifted her hand to her scalp.…

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Own Goal

Alcohol Drinking

Laura returned to work as a nurse at the hospital. She resumed her career. Laura was back in action, proud of herself. Husband and I were proud of her too. She drove her car to and from work, up and down the high street, got herself out and about. Saturday afternoon, Husband was watching a football match on television before he returned to work. Laura telephoned, said she would come to see Dad…

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Vodka From the Bottle

Alcohol Recovery?

The carnival was good. Our grandson was so cute, his face painted as a lamb, his costume all wooly. I did not stay for revelries in the park. I came home. I could not clear the uneasy thoughts jangling in my mind. Was Laura drinking again? Did we have a problem? Was she drinking alcohol so soon out of recovery? Or was I overreacting –  which I was prone to do. Husband and I nipped out in the…

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Jet Black with Lies

Alcohol Presence

Our toddler grandson with his mummy was to be in a parade for pre-school, dressed as lambs. Laura wanted to come with me to walk along the float to take pictures, to enjoy. Laura was two weeks out of rehab. Early, on the carnival morning, Laura telephoned me. ‘I don’t feel well. I’m not coming with you.’ ‘Why, what’s wrong?’ ‘Tired, that’s all, for God’s sake, what is this?’ And there we had it,…

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The Nutter Next Door

Alcohol Stranger

The tales we had heard, Husband and I, about the girl next door. The girl who wielded a baseball bat at her neighbour. ‘The girl next door?’ I asked Laura. ‘She’s all right. I know her from school.’ I reminded Laura of the baseball bat incident. The girl next door did not sound all right to me. ‘Everyone has a past.’ True. I would not like people condemning my daughter for her past. Plus, we did…

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Fixed Alcoholic

Alcohol Agitation

Joyous times, our daughter back home with Husband and me. As parents we relaxed. We inhaled the fresh, innocent air. Our sensible, happy daughter, our funny, good-looking daughter, back with her family for good. ‘Stay with me and Dad for as long as you like before moving into your own place,’ I said. Laura was happy with that. I followed her around, hugged and kissed her, chatted the hours away.…

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Alcohol Experts

Alcohol Advice

The twelve month stint in rehab had come to an end. Time for Laura to come home and integrate back into society. Laura had reached for rehab, reached for help when her life had spiralled out of control. She had served her time. Laura had reformed. I was so excited to bring her home. Married Daughter with the two baby boys and I went to collect Laura. Collect our precious gift: A recovered…

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They Had It Coming

Alcohol Chasers

There was an issue for Laura in returning to the thrust of life, returning to the normal world. She owed a lot of money. Twenty thousand pounds to be exact. Husband and I were not going to mop up this debt, not this time. I worried about the amount she owed, worried about the effect it would have on her state of mind. When she came out of rehab, finding her feet, finding the money to pay back her…

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Mother Love

Alcohol Stranger

Laura rang from rehab to ask, ‘Mum, will you come and meet my care worker?’ Off I went on the long journey mid-week to have a meeting with Laura’s care worker at the rehabilitation house. Laura was happy to have this get-together, happy to have this attention. We sat in a private room, the three of us. ‘Laura’s doing very well,’ I was told. ‘Is there anything you would like to add?’ Yes there…

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Pair of Mugs

Alcohol Jobs

Laura celebrated her thirtieth birthday in rehab. Husband and I were busy preparing Laura’s house for her return. I was at home, Husband was painting internal walls at Laura’s new house. He returned home with this story of concern: ‘Hey one of the neighbours at Laura’s house just collared me, said did I know about the girl next door?’ ‘Know what?’ I asked. A little pebble fell in my…

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Screws and Glue

Alcohol Investment

The plans we made for our beloved daughter’s return from rehab. A brighter future we hoped she would have. Husband and I had sat in bed, drinking hot tea. It seemed our daughter was coming back to life. Laura had left the past, her drinking and drugging, where it belonged, behind her. Yes she was demanding, yes she could be irrational, but that was normal for our daughter. How could we make life…

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Blazing Row in Rehab

Alcohol Money

I arrived at rehab. I entered my daughter’s room. After months of sick leave from work, Laura was owed money from her employer for holidays she had not taken. This money was in my account for safekeeping. The money put aside for when she came home. Laura wanted the money now. ‘What for?’ I asked. I put the bag of goodies on her bed. ‘To get things.’ What things?’ ‘This and …  it’s my money! I can…

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Tears of Pain

Alcohol Argument

Husband and I journeyed home from rehab, from seeing our daughter in such a place. We travelled home in silence. I put a meat and potato pie in the oven. Then went and sat on the floor next to Husband’s chair. I cried then cried some more. He hitched up in his seat, held his arm out to comfort me, I nestled there beside him. Bereft. I was convinced my daughter would be damaged further by this…

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Sign In - Sign Out Rehab

Alcohol Share

The two week detox course had been completed. Our daughter was taken to rehab, the one she had chosen. Laura was booked in for a twelve-month stay. For the first three months she was not allowed to sleep off the premises. For the remaining nine months she could come home at weekends. Off we went, Husband and me with a map in hand to visit our daughter in rehab. Another Victorian house,…

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Confessions of a Liar

Alcohol Suffering

I looked from the care worker to Laura. I waited for this confession.

‘Well,’ Laura said, ‘the thing is …’

‘The thing is what?’ I pushed her along.

‘The thing is, it’s not just alcohol … the problem I have. I’ve been taking cocaine. But, I only take cocaine when I have been drinking. So it’s not a problem for me to stop.’

‘Okay …’ I said.

“I knew it;’ Husband piped up.

‘And the other thing, I…

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