Truthin'

Truth in facts...

[lesterfiction]

I Mean…We Aight Though…

DJ Khaled has said "We da best…" more times than I would like to attempt to count, but numbers don’t lie. Neither Khaled nor any of his 4 artists (Ace Hood, Vado, Mavado, and RedRum) in the We The Best Music Group has a single gold or platinum album. Ace Hood has 1 gold single, Bugatti. Khaled has 7 gold singles, 3 platinum singles, and 1 multi-platinum single, according to the RIAA’s database. ‘We da best’ is at least a full step beyond embellishment.

[lesterfiction]

USA Today needs to hire someone new to write their headlines or at least do a common sense check.

[lesterfiction]

Being the Chief Information Officer (CIO) of any organization implies you are aware of what and how information is received, transferred, managed, and protected. Ricardo Lafosse is the Chief Information Security Officer for all of Cook County, Illinois and needs better staff or some remedial education.

Long story short, a virus infected approximately 200 computers, renaming files with vulgar names and hiding them in the computers’ file storage hierarchies. Claiming it would be too difficult to trace the origin of the virus introduction, Lafosse solidified himself as the worst CIO I've heard of in years.

There are entire fields of study, divisions in large firms, consultants, and independent contractors dedicated to preventing and performing discovery in instances just like this. The fact that no RFQ/RFP was mentioned is bad enough. However, the fact that they couldn't find out internally is worse.

Here's why. The malware that infected the machines changed file names, leaving a timestamp on all affected files. In the process of cleaning the machines, the staff should have exported an inventory every file modified or created within the last 6 to 12 months, sorted by most recently modified or created and filtered on vulgar names. Done. It literally would have taken minutes after the file dumps and machine cleanup were completed.

I can't say I'm surprised. Cook County, Chicago, corruption, and ignorance make an odd but standard matrimony. His profile on LinkedIn is chock full of certifications and seemingly valuable experience, which is why this is such a surprising failure.

[lesterfiction]

Kanye’s Band and Klan of GD’s

Rapping “All my homies GD’s (Gangster Disciples)" on ‘See Me Now’ is one of Kanye's greatest lyrical myths.

[lesterfiction]

Seems Legit Kanye (We See You Now)

Kanye has been far removed from inner-city Chicago for beyond a decade. Rapping that all of his homies are GD’s, members of a notorious, long-lasting Chicago gang is just a fallacy. Everybody with half a brain knows you aren’t talking traps, re-ups, and drive by with the Kardashians. I would have more respect for you as an artist if you didn’t make offhand references to gang banging in the same song you rap about boat shoes, Nobu, and the Louvre. Kanye’s current lifestyle is built on a foundation of being exposed to a wide variety of experiences. This still doesn’t justify pandering in your rhymes to remind people where you came from. Build a school or a safe haven for these kids being killed if you want to maintain your connection with your past. Don’t give power to destructive forces to help out your bottom line and call it art.

[lesterfiction]

Kanye's GD Homies from 'See Me Now'

Kanye raps about gang ties via close friends in 'See Me Now' on hos latest album Yeezus, but is definitely not 'bout that life. And that's ok. He has accomplished and grown a lot. Stop trying to dumb it down and man up. I'd rather hear you rap about D&G than GD. So would a lot of people in Chicago forced to read the same sad tales about youths caught in gang crossfire every week.

[lesterfiction]

Water Quench Thirst aka Aqua Hydrate

I saw a pic yesterday of an Aqua Hydrate schwag bundle, which according to the website, is electrolyte enhanced water. Just for the record, so is salt water. It is being fronted by one of rap’s masters of marketing, Diddy (Sean Combs). 

Another veteran of rap (if you want to be generous), Mark Wahlberg aka Marky Mark is also promoting the product. I haven’t tried the product and honestly probably won’t. It’s not that I have a grudge against Diddy or bottled water. I just have zero interest.

Why? I mainly don’t want to try it because it’s not an original product. Things like this follow the same cycle of adoption as anything else. Aqua Hydrate is definitely in the hipster phase right now, being distributed as schwag at artistic and exclusive events. It’s only a matter of time before it’s being referenced as frequently as Christian Louboutin shoes, Armand de Brignac champagne (Ace of Spades), and Audemar/Rolex/Hublot watches were/are/will be in hip-hop songs.

Hipsters > Cool Kids > Everybody Else > Parents > Grandparents

If that red bottom reference is so unbelievable, Rap Genius stats suggest otherwise:

219 songs mention red bottom

143 songs mention them by their retail moniker, Louboutin

That may not sound like a lot, but there are only 385 songs in the results for Levi’s blue jeans…the iconic originator, patented in 1873, 140 years ago. That’s only 23 songs more than a couture shoe that’s only been around since ‘91. No one has come clean on numbers yet, but you can bet that the bigger names in hip-hop aren’t just mentioning these specific high-ticket items to impress you. I do give credit where credit is due though…which is exactly why the name of the product gets none.

[lesterfiction]

Lil Wayne's Worries

Regardless of what he says in the song ‘No Worries’, Lil Wayne has at least a few. Let me explain.

Lil Wayne’s label has 2 hot artists with mass crossover appeal. He is not one of them. The day he isn’t seeing checks generated by Nikki Minaj and Drake, it’s time to worry. Bow Wow, Tyga, and Fred Durst don’t have the combined appeal to keep the Young Money ship afloat.

Lil Wayne is currently still in probation and is facing prison time if he can’t keep from doing doing pretty much everything he raps about in pretty much every song:

Associating with known criminals (goons/bloods/goblins) without written consent from Arizona authorities is forbidden. Most people might consider requesting official approval to see old friends, by naming them as known criminals, is some form of informing/snitching/ratting. But, of course, Wayne would never tell, right?

All illicit drugs are off the table as well, according to the probation terms. That knocks all of Wayne’s supposed favorite vices (shrooms, kush, and syrup) out of contention for recreation. That is, unless he has access to clean pee. I’m sure he could manage that.

Alcohol is a no-no too. So, no champagne showers unless it’s away from TMZ leak hungry friends, foes, and/or fans with camera phones. That seriously limits when/where he can sneak a nightcap.

Lil Wayne has 4 children by 4 different women, two of which (Lauren London and Nivea) have lived/are living (you could make the argument either way) the good life. He was married to only 1 of the 4, from 2006-2008, and is not reportedly with either of them exclusively. All this to say, his growing fortune is likely under constant evaluation by the family courts, unless some sort of agreement is already in place with each mother. We all saw what happened to Paul McCartney and MJ as well as what almost happened to Kobe.

Having had an adulthood full of syrup sipping, smoking, and partying under his belt, Wayne’s health is also questionable at best. Wayne acknowledged that he is epileptic and prone to seizures in multiple interviews after a brief hospitalization. Epilepsy and a rock star lifestyle is a recipe for more than a few worries.

I’m not an expert on encourages either, but isn’t somebody on your team supposed to be willing to take a charge in exchange for all the free loading? A drug charge and a weapons charge are exactly they types of things somebody is supposed to take the hit for, right? Wayne should be worried that not once, but twice, nobody from the deep squad he rhymes about stood in for him while he paid the lawyers and loaded up the commissary.

Money management is always a source of worry, usually too late for those as fortunate as Wayne. Fast money usually accompanies slow learners. Don’t believe me? Watch the ESPN 30 for 30 Broke. You can also look at any number of musically, athletically, or dramatically inclined individuals in the headlines today to help me prove my point.

I’m not saying Wayne should live his life shrouded in doubt and worry, but he has more than 1 worry. Anything greater than 1 is the exact opposite of no/zero. Who knows, maybe it’s all in your state of mind.

[lesterfiction]

Buncha New Friends, Where Ya Old Friends At?

[lesterfiction]

All New Friends, Where Ya Old Friends At?

Rappers love to remind you of how real they are every chance they get. The most common claims are that they never lost touch with old friends/family that supported them from day one, money didn’t change who they were, and so on. Drake’s latest collaboration with DJ Khaled, Rick Ross and Lil Wayne pays tribute to this staple of hip-hop.

It would seem that Drake’s rise to fame has allowed him to gain a lot of with in his bank accounts, $30 million according to  Celebrity Net Worth . All the while he’s also been shedding calories in the form of old friends. Allow me to elaborate. Drake’s first mixtape, Room for Improvement, was released Valentine’s Day (February 14th), 2006. We’ll use that album’s release date as day one. It’s all downhill from there.

·Lil Wayne is definitely a new friend, if day 1 is any day one or before Drake’s first mixtape was released. The fabled meeting on Lil Wayne’s tour bus is said to have taken place in 2008, 2 years after Drake’s first release. It’s worth noting that Drake’s first release was on shelves for sale prior to its re-release as a mixtape, netting a disappointing 6000 sales.

·Birdman (Bryan “Baby” Williams) falls into the same category as Lil Wayne. New friend all the way. It’s highly unlikely Drake and Birdman would be friends if he and Wayne were not close. You rarely meet the boss’ boss first, unless you are related or sleeping together.

·Jay-Z…do I even need to outline why this is a no brainer. Drake was featured on the Blueprint 3 with Jay and they have collaborated on other tracks as well. According to another popular Drake song, he was also approached and almost signed by Roc-a-Fella twice, but it is highly that Jay-Z, a mogul among moguls, was such a huge Degrassi fan that he could be considered an old friend of Drake. J. Cole just finished outselling Kanye West and Wale. His first encounter with Jay was on the street, and he was snubbed by the mega star when tried to present a copy of his demo/mixtape. If that’s the icy reception emcees that end up makimg him millions are received if they speak before being summoned, it’s just more proof that Drake’s initial debut would not have impressed with its paltry sales.

·Life is all about networking with the right people, most of the time. Featuring up and coming artists on songs is a good way to stay relevant. On the other end, the new artist gets exposure to a broader market, beyond blogs. Drake has been on the giving and recekving end of this music business trend. Most notably, Drake’s new friends in this category include: Wale, J. Cole, Nikki Minaj, all 900 Cash Money and YMCMB artists without an album, Krayshawn, Eminem, Jamie Foxx, Kendrick Lamar and Kanye West, to name a few.

Long story short...if the number of old friends you kept is a measure of how real you are, Drake is tipping in fiction's favor. Just sayin'.

[lesterfiction]

Did Ace Hood Wake Up in a Bugatti?

The short answer is an unequivocal ‘no’. While Ace Hood’s net worth is listed at an impressive $5 million (US), he won’t be waking up in a new Bugatti anytime soon unless it is a friend’s car, a rental, or he wins the Powerball. Let’s start with the basics. The cost of a new, base (is this even the right classification?) model Bugatti Veyron is $1.3 million, roughly 26% of all of Ace Hood’s estimated value, according to Celebrity Net Worth.

That’s not even the half of it. If you want to keep the world’s fastest production vehicle in high working order, it’s going to run about $300k annually. According to Autoblog, this includes routine maintenance checks at about $20,000 each as well as changing the wheels and tires every 10,000 miles ($50,000). Those beautiful tires are $30,000 per set and are good only for 2500 miles. So, when most Americans are paying $45 for an oil change every three months, a Bugatti owner, that can afford to drive the car every day, could purchase a single family home in the Midwest for what they spend on tires every few months.

Next up is the cost of all that stunting. A Bugatti has a 100 liter gas tank. That’s about 26.5 gallons. Gas, super unleaded anyway, is roughly $5 per gallon in the US. So, each fill up of the tank on a car that gets a very loosely estimated 10 MPG is going to cost the owner around $130. Since the average American commutes an hour to and from work each day, you could expect to spend about a house note on gas each month.

So, it would make sense for Ace Hood to wake up in a Bugatti if he had Jay-Z or Beyonce’s money. Beyonce reportedly bought Mr. Carter a Bugatti Veyron Super Sport, at a cost of $2 million, for his birthday…his damn birthday! It would make more sense if it served as his house, studio, strip club, and Wing Stop franchise, and tour bus. At the end of the day, it’s just ballin’ on wax. Don’t even get me started on the fact that new Bugatti’s don’t even hold a candle to the ’63 Bugatti Type 57SC Atlantic that sold for a speculated $30-40 million at auction in 2010.