remind: Fuckinâ Hell - 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days (2007): We Need More Abortion Films
Just casually reminding yâall about a certain film about a certain topic set in a certain country during a certain time. And for no particular reason. Since the original (12/2/21) post wonât appear in a site-wide search (because it has external links), Iâm just gonna link ya to it.
https://letamreviews.tumblr.com/post/669519685143937024/fuckin-hell-4-months-3-weeks-and-2-days
Not sure if you wanna go down that tunnel? Well, hereâs the first bit:
Because of all this abortion shit that's been going on [links removed], I'm feeling a strong desire to say something. Should've when the Texas bs went down, but 'eh. Since this entire blog's about movies, I'mma keep it relevant (so chill). Lemme Tell You About 4 Months 3 Weeks 2 Days (2007) real quick.
Checked this out of my college library 6 years ago and really enjoyed it. No recollection of my thoughts at the time, but I know I was excited when it streamed on MUBI 2 years ago.
But what's it even about? While dat there's spoiler territory (BR: 1), I've already crossed part of that bridge by bringing it up in this context. So~ how should I put it?
It's a tense-ass experience of being the fly on the wall during less than 24 hours of an individualâs particular day. And what happens in this day? Nothin' much. She gets cash from her boyfriend Adi (Alexandru Potocean), trades it for a pack of cigarettes, helps out her friend, and  endures the prearranged dinner with her boyfriendâs family for his motherâs birthday.
Quite a Black-ass funny-ass horror, but much more of an interesting Black movie than a horror. Like, the main horror is in the racist murderer at a cabin in the woods. Like,... I'm not even gonna explain that. You either get it or you don't.
Which brings me to the main thing I wanna say. This really is for Black people. I wouldn't recommend it for people who aren't in some way "Black" (biracials, getcha ass in here).
I'm serious when I say this isn't for Euros. Like, y'all really shouldn't* watch this unless you were out of the blue invited by Black people or are yourself very involved with Blackness in some way. (whatever dafuq that means)
Should full-on Euros who have no actual exposure to Blackness see this movie? Absolutely not. Everything's dangerous in the wrong hands, and some of y'all asses are gonna do the absolute wrong shit with this. Intentionally or not.
*Pre-Edit: I heard a room of Black people (including some cast members) completely disagree with me in Way Up With Angela Yeeâs video (timestamped).
Now that I'm done talking to the non-Blacks, let's get on with it.
for the African Descended
Y'all, this some shit. God damn.
So glad I just happened to see this in a small theatre filled to a third with mostly Afros. Got to enjoy the reactions almost as much as the movie.
Is it great, though? As a Black movie, yeah. As a horror movie, nah. As a Black horror, yep. As a Black comedy horror, hell yeah.
And to be real, I don't think non-Black reviews/opinions/criticisms should even be taken into account for this one. Like, I read 7 recent reviews on Letterboxd before getting to Darryl Buckhanan's and seeing all the convincing I needed. This ain't for everybody. And I'm glad it ain't. Let ma ass be.
Real talk,... how many o'y'all would'a failed that shit? đ
Real talk, I didn't trust this movie to not be for Euros because of the director (Tim Story). Here me out! Of his 23 movies listed on Letterboxd, I've only seen five: Barbershop (2002), Fantastic Four (2005), Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), Think Like a Man (2012) (they just had to put Rihanaâs abuser in this đ), and this one. While I enjoyed all of the other four, I 1) haven't seen his other Black-casted works and 2) strongly suspected Shaft (2019) of being made for Euros everytime I saw its preview in theatres. Never bothered to confirm that suspicion, but I don't feel the need to. Fortunately, that review convinced me of this one and I saw it yesterday.
Side Notes:
Would not recommend watching 3Peat Presents: The Blackening - Uncensored before the movie if you're already interested. If you ain't, then go ahead and ask yourself if you want a feature length film inspired by this 4 minute Comedy Central skit. (the answer is yes)
Already saw it and interested in hearing some of the cast and crew talk about it? Here ya go:
âThe Blackeningâ Cast on How a Comedy Short Turned Into the Feature Film | TIFF 2022 - The Hollywood Reporter
list of Critqal's mini interviews with the cast
THE BLACKENING Hilarious Cast Interview | Grace Byers, Antoinette Robertson and Sinqua Walls - Jake's Takes
We Can't All Die First! Dishin' All Things, Horror & Comedy with The Blackening Movie Cast! - Dish Nation
The Blackening Interviews: Dewayne Perkins, Jermaine Fowler, Tim Story & More - JoBlo Celebrity Interviews
The Blackening Cast and Writers on Subverting Horror Tropes and Cracking Up on Set | TIFF 2022 - Collider Interviews
The Blackening Cast Talks Chemistry Between Cast Members, Horror Movies + More - Way Up With Angela Yee
The Cast Of 'The Blackening' Speaks On Creating A Horror Film From The Black Perspective + More - Breakfast Club Power 105.1 FM
Waitin' for my favorite Afro streamers to talk about The Blackening. fuckers better come on
Happy Juneteenth, mofos
Pre-Edit: I realized while listening to interviews and doing my Crew Data that this movie probably won't fully succeed unless Euros watch it too. Thatâs the business side of it. Iâm speaking on more of a personal matter in comparison. meh đ¤ˇđżââď¸
Shortly after typing the above, I heard a room of Black people (including some cast members) completely disagree with me in Way Up With Angela Yeeâs video (timestamped).
Tests:
Iâm gonna skip 4 crew tests and hold off on posting Crew Data for now. Hereâs the test process for the other 16, though.
With 19 films watched and 2 favorited from 2022, I composed a list of my top. To coincide with 2019â˛s pure happenstance, the list is âalmostâ an exact third (7) of the total films watched. Anything seen after the end of February, 2023, isnât included (with 1 exception).
Honorable Mentions: Infernal Affairs remastered trilogy (2002 - 2003), Skinamarink, Vesper, TĂR
Exception: Aranockâs Queer Relativity
Whyâs this so late? Yes, it is late.
Blind Rating is how worthwhile the film is watching âblindâ (or knowing nothing). The scale is 1 (worth it) to 5 (you must). âEh is essentially a 0.5.
1. Queer Relativity | Aranock (Canada)
Saw on YouTube in early March twice and listened to atleast once. i donât even know (i guess: i fucking love it). Yâall, this movie fucked me up. Had to pause it so many times during first viewing this shit took me back so much. fuck
Also, i fucking hate it.
Blind Rating: 0.5/5 | film | Teaser | Description:
Hope you all enjoy my film on queer temporalities, language, and journey of discovering self
2. RRR (India)
Saw on Netflix in Hindi with English subtitles and again in theatre in Telugu with English subs. i fucking love it. Best (official) movie of the year. Donât waste my time.
Blind Rating: 1/5
Thoughts
3. Please Baby Please (USA)
Saw at Sie FilmCenter. i really like it (? tier). Holy fucking shit, this movie. lul Definitely put some people in the mood.
Thoughts
Quickie
4. Avatar: The Way of Water (USA)
Saw at Hawkins Theatres in 3D HFR and again at AMC Theatres in Real 3D. i really like it (mid tier?).
Thoughts 1 & 2
Quickie
5. Everything Everywhere All at Once (USA)
Saw in theatre. i really like it (mid tier?). Yâall, I saw this in a theatre with 2-3 other dudes and we all bawled during the same scene. Shit was great.
Thoughts
Blind Rating: 0.5/5
6. Three Thousand Years of Longing (Australia & USA)
Saw at Hawkins Theatres. i really like it (high tier). Did not expect to enjoy it so much. Glad I went (and disregarded certain reviews).
Thoughts
7. Nope (USA)
Saw at Harkins Theatres and again in VR (donât ask). i really like it (mid tier?). Really enjoyed the entirety of it, especially as a story of two siblings. While I do see this as the director changing the horror genre (again? đ¤), Iâm now wondering how much of it already exists in widely unknown indie films. đ (shout-out to LambHootâs âThe Resident Evil they keep Remaking...â video)
Thoughts 1 & 2
Blind Rating: 1/5
Quickie - Avatar: The Way of Water (Real 3D) (2022)
i really like it (mid tier?)
The Way of Water in Real 3D was worth the re-watch. Couldn't figure out what the "Real" part of the 3D experience was, though, and would rather do 3D HFR again if I go a third time since I could really notice the frame rate difference during close-up action (and fire) scenes.
Is it better than the first, though?
As a film, yeah.
As an action movie, not quite.
As an experience, definitely.
As a story, completely.
Relevant:
What is 3D+ in HFR? by Scott Jentsch, October 8, 2019 (bigscreen.com)
What is HFR (High Frame Rate) and why should you care? by Max Langridge, Updated Dec 11, 2022 (pocket-lint.com)
Avatar and the Wh*te Imagination (or lack thereof) by Cheyenne Lin, Jan 16, 2023 (YouTube.com)
She has points about the series and James Cameron thatâre worth taking into account.
Pre-Edit:
After watching the âHow RealD 3D adds dimension to the cinema experienceâ video on amctheatres.com (see âReal 3Dâ link above), Iâm torn. Dat high frame rate was (probably) so smooth in comparison, but is it worth having a lesser 3D experience? :x
This gender bending queer-ass shit was an experience. Kinda reminded me of the 2018 films Knife + Heart and Apocalypse After in a way. And Andrea Riseborough (2018's Mandy) was one of the best parts (my god, was she; love her outfits). Didn't even realize it was her until I checked the cast on Letterboxd and pulled up her filmography. This lady got some range, y'all, holy shit.
Fo'real, though, this some good shit. Even put me in a mood at the end, which tracks considering the ending had a nice aesthetic and mood in itself.
Disclosure
So, like, this was directed and written by Amanda Kramer. The same person who directed and wrote Lady World (2018)--a really fucked up movie that unfortunately reminded me of my childhood. :| Totes recommend.
Anyway, I should mention the full disclosure that I left off of my Lady World review for some reason. I attended the post-film Q&A after watching during the 2018 Denver Film Festival (DFF41), so I got to indirectly meet her. Not gonna pretend like that experience didn't cloud my view at all. But do keep in mind that I didn't realize it was the same director until after I saw Please Baby Please. Even then, it was quite the surprise. She's developed in an interesting way going straight from a female-centered film to a male- and female-centered one that focuses on gender, sexuality, and the things in-between. Damn, I wish I caught a Q&A for PBP during the DFF45. >.< #covid-19
Le Theme - Birds of Prey (2020): Empowering Emancipation (part 4)
(part 1)
(part 2)
(part 3)
MODERATE SPOILERS
Black Canary & Montoya
Right about now, actually. Detective Montoya later arrives unexpectedly at Black Canaryâs door with two coffees in hand just as sheâs just about to walk out.
Montoya: Dinah Lance?
Black Canary: *stepping into doorway* Who the hell are you?
Montoya: I'm Renee Montoya, detective with GCPD.
Black Canary: *looking dismissive af; walks out and closes door*
Montoya: Your predecessor and I had an arrangement.
Black Canary: Oh, really? *locking door*
Montoya: He told me that there was a shipment coming in. A diamond.
Black Canary: *locks eyes*
Montoya: A very special diamond. *reaches coffee toward her; nods*
Black Canary: âŚ*smiling* Yeah, not interested, lady. *takes coffee* Thanks for the coffee. *walks away*
Montoya: *follows* Do you know who youâre working for?
Black Canary: *walking backward* Youâre damn right, I do. Heâs the man who gave me a job. Took me off the streets. *turns back around; looking a bit bothered*
Montoya: Yeah, well, heâs also a very dangerous man. A criminal. A murderer.
Black Canary: *walking down steps*
Montoya: What would your mother think of you working for a guy like that, huh?
Black Canary: *stops*
Montoya: You have the same power she had.
Black Canary: *turns around*
Donât you think she would want you to use it?
Black Canary: The hell do you know about my mother?
Montoya: Back in the day, she used to help the GCPD. She was a good woman.
Black Canary: Yeah, *walks toward her* she was a damn good woman. The kinda woman who put everyone elseâs live before her own. *stops in front of her* And when she was found dead in the street, *leans in* where the fuck were you and your boys in blue then? Now you wanna come and knock on my door and ask me to help you out? And make the same mistake she did? Yeah, good luck with that.
Montoya: That's fair enough. And I'm sorry for your loss. For the record, *leans in* that would never happen on my watch.
Black Canary: *emotionally bothered*
Well, turns out Black Canaryâs had it rough for however long before Sionis hired her and âtook [her] off the streets.â As better as it might be than her previous situation, sheâs clearly not preferring it.
Nevermind the fact that Montoya managed to turn Sionisâ previous driver into an informant (and find out who his replacement is). She just showed her caring-ness for the second time. The first was back at the GCPD when she passed by Cassandra, noticed she wasnât being quippy (âWhat? No comeback?â), and asked what was wrong. A brief moment of little meaning if not taken as context.
Cassandra, Zsasz, and the Best Person for the Job
Two scenes later, we see three things play out with Cassandra, Zsasz, and Black Canary.
Black Canary: *walks out of Gothan City Imports* All right.
Zsasz: *looks down at diamond case after making eye-contact*
Black Canary: We can go.
Zsasz: *reaches for it* I'll take that. *casually takes it*
Black Canary: *looking bothered* Mr. S said for me to hold on to it.
Zsasz: *dismissively* Go get your car. *checks diamond*
Black Canary: *stares at him* ⌠*walks away while taking a good long look at the diamond*
Harley (V.O.): That rock. That rock's about to become the key to whether or not I live to enjoy my newfound independence.
Black Canary: *opening car door*
Cassandra: *walks up behind her and reaches into her blazer pocket*
Black Canary: *grabs her wrist and pulls her in*
Cassandra: Oh! Get off me.
Black Canary: What the hell are you doing here?
Cassandra: You're not the only one who makes money off of dumb, rich, white people.
Black Canary: Well, you know what? *leans in* One day you're gonna pick the wrong pocket, sis.
Cassandra: Okay. *jacks arm away* Whatever.
Black Canary: Dumb-ass kids.
Cassandra: *passing through group and picking pockets* Excuse me. Sorry. *picks Zsaszâs pocket while heâs looking away*
Cassandra: *starts picking old ladyâs watch* I really like your earrings.
Old lady: Why, thank you.
Male: *exits building with a cop and points at Cassandra* There's the thief. There's the thief. *cop car pulls up behind her*
Cassandra: Get off of me! *being taken to the car*
Old lady: *pointing at Cassandra and talking to Zsasz* That little girl took my watch.
Cassandra: I didn't do nothing.
Zsasz: *starting to laugh while checking pockets; suddenly worried when he canât find the diamond*
Black Canary: *approaches him while staring at Cassandraâs arrest*
Zsasz: Where the fuck's the diamond?
Cassandra: *being put in car*
Zsasz: I just fucking had it. *still checking*
Black Canary: *puts the pieces together* Cass! *runs to the cops as theyâre starting to drive off; Zsasz joins* Wait! Wait, wait! Halt! *stops running*
Zsasz: Fuck!
1) If Zsasz had trusted Black Canary with her job, the diamond wouldnât have been stolen because 2) she was better at catching the pickpocket (Cassandra) than he was. Hell, if Sionis had trusted her enough to go alone Zsaszâs lack of trust wouldnât have factored in.
3) Cassandraâs likely trying to emancipate herself the best way someone her age arguably canâthrough illegal means (e.g.: pickpocketing). Not like her foster parents are gonna give her allowance or treat her with decency if she opts for chores.
Harley & Sionis
Two scenes later, we see Harley tied to a chair and Sionis looking forward to watching her face get cut off.
Sionis: *speaking in the background* I don't care what it takes, I want my diamond back.
Zsasz: We're working on it.
Sionis: Now, let's go have a little fun. *slowly walks up behind Harley* Harleen Quinzel. *walks around her* Whoo!
Harley: Hiya, Romy.
Sionis: *pulls out knife* Do you know why you're here? Hmm?
Harley (V.O.): When it comes to me and Roman Sionis, there are a lot of possible answers to this question. Breaking his driver's legs. *voices overlapping* There's that time I called it an âexpresso.â Having a vagina in the first place pisses this guy off. I voted for Bernie because I thought it would make life harder for him. *inaudible* Constantly interrupting him, like I'm doing right now.
Sionis: You're here
Harley: Oh, God, stop.
Sionis: becauseâŚ
Harley: You're gonna do that thing where you open up a weird-ass case of torture devices while inexplicably detailing your master plan *Sionis looks frustrated and taken aback* and how I don't fit into it.
Sionis: I'm building a betterâŚ
Harley: Seriously, you don't have to. Really! You're building a criminal empire because Daddy kicked you out of Janus Corp. And you think this is a big âfuck you,â but in actuality it's a very misguided attempt to win back his respect. I get it. You're really not as complicated as you think.
Sionis: And you're really not as clever as you think, because now I'm gonna slice yourâŚ
Harley: Oh, Jesus Christmas. Now you're gonna say that you wanna kill me to set an example. Christ, you're boring.
Sionis: I wanna kill you⌠*opens knife*
Harley: Shit.
Sionis: ...because without the [redacted] around,... I can.
Harley: *visibly taking in the situation*
Sionis: *hands knife to Zsasz; drags forefinger across her chin while walking away* For all your noise and bluster, *gets a seat placed before him* youâre just a- a silly little girl *sits down* with no one around to protect her. *gets handed a bowl of popcorn; waves finger around to signal the go-ahead; looks amused; starts to eat*
Harley: *taking the situation in; scared*
Zsasz: *approaches Harley from the side with knife ready*
Harley: ...Whoa. Wait.
Sionis: *chuckling* What?
Harley: Don't kill me.
Zsasz: *grabs her upper neck and jaw*
Sionis: Ha! Right.
Zsasz: *licks her face*
Harley: No, no, no. Seriously. *panicking* Romy, Roman.
Zsasz: *meows; laughs*
Harley: Come on. There's gotta be something, *whips hair* something we can figure out. Hey!
Zsasz: *shush her*
Harley: Wait, wait! You lost something, right?
Zsasz: *places knife on her cheek*
Harley: *locked eyes with Zsasz* You lost something. I heard you say it. A diamond.
Zsasz: *freezes*
Sionis: ⌠*thinking; signals to stop*
Zsasz: *backs away*
Harley: Yeah. I can help you find it. ...Seriously. Look in my pocket.
Sionis: *looking bothered; signals a goon*
Goon: *pulls out a tampon from back pocket*
Harley: Other pocket. *rolls eyes*
Goon: *drops tampon; pulls out card from other back pocket; walks over and hands it to Sionis*
Harley: I'm starting up my own business. See what it says? Second from the bottom.
Sionis: *turns it to her like âreally?â*
Harley: I know the East End better than anybody. You want this diamond back? *points to self* I'm your gal. Mr. [redacted] once lost *Sionis gets up and wlaks toward her* a rare photograph of a nude Eleanor Roosevelt, and I found it in a bird's nest in Robinson Park. If you let me go, just for now, I'll get you that rock back. *smiles* What have you got to lose? If your boys find it first, swear to God, you can kill me later. Pinky swear. Cross my heart, hope to fart.
Sionis: *backhands her full swing* You're so tiresome!
Harley: *dazed with bleeding lip*
Sionis: If you want my mercy, shut that hole in the middle of your face and listen. You're gonna get me my diamond.
Harley: *smiling with bloodied teeth like sheâs on something; closes eyes and faces down; starts fantasizing a dance number*
*faces forward and opens eyes* A kiss on the hand
May be quite continental *bites guys finger*
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
A kiss may be grand
But it won't pay the rental
On your hum-ble flat
Or help you at the automat- *group gets figuratively gunned down*
*chorus begins*
Dia-monds~
Dia-monds~
*starts dancing with Sionis while someoneâs rapping in background*
Dia-monds~
Dia-monds~
*Sionis in robotic voice* I will be waiting.
Dia-monds~
Diamonds are a girl's best *Sionis fake slaps her in fantasy and for real in reality*
*fantasy ends*
Harley: *slowly comes back and locks eyes; still a bit dazed*
Sionis: I'll give you till midnight. ...And then I'm gonna peel off that pretty face... and pickle it. *smiles* Okay? *walks away*
Harley (V.O.): Call me old-fashioned, but... I always thought the guy was meant to get the girl a diamond.
Harley: *exits building; groans*
Black Canary: *sitting down next to door; looks at Harley*
Harley: *looks and points up at Sionis* I won't let you down, Romy. I promise.
Sionis: *talking to Zsasz* Let's make it half a mil. It's more fun if she's got competition. Send it to every mercenary in Gotham.
Harley: *notices Black Canary while walking away*
Oh, hey, you're that singer no one listens to.
Black Canary: Hey, you're the asshole no one likes.
Harley: *takes it in; walks away; starts running*
Black Canary: *checks vibrating phone; gasps*
*close up of mugshot with â$500,000 REWARD CASSANDRA âCASSâ CAIN Alive ONLY! Worthless dead!â below it*
So a lot happened here.
Nevermind Harley being bored with his simple ass. Sionis said something poignant: âI wanna kill you,... because without the [redacted] around,... I can. *hands knife to Zsasz* For all your noise and bluster, youâre just a- a silly little girl with no one around to protect her.â
And here we see Harley (desperately) try to negotiate with her tyrant. Her soon-to-be murderer. Basically saying âI can be of use to you, so donât kill me.â Making clear that, in this moment, her only way out is through his grace. (sound familiar?)
She succeeds, but then something else happens immediately after. Sionis backhand slaps her and says âYouâre so tiresome! If you want my mercy, shut that hole in the middle of your face and listen. Youâre gonna get me my diamond.â
Her euphoric reaction and sudden fantasy Ă la (a particularly dark) Marilyn Monroeâs âDiamonds Are A Girls Best Friendâ, and its intro-line âa kiss on the hand may be quite continentalâ, really makes me wonder if she was familiar with being handled in that way. Like it took her back to a âhappyâ time with HWSNBN. Could she have, on some level, been fantasizing about being in an abusive a âhappyâ relationship with Sionis? Very likely, considering the intro animation of her getting HWSNBN a diamond and an earlier scene when she made it pretty clear that she was thinking about going from HWSNBN to Sionis (of all people) while having an exchange with Black Canary at his club. I mean, Black Canary picked up on that shit. Â Only seemed bothered that Harley mistook her for the type, though.
And her way of speaking to him (âI won't let you down, Romy. I promise.â) upon leaving couldâve been said to HWSNBN. Then the fucker backstabs her by putting a $500k hit on the kid being brought back by whoever manages to because âitâs more fun if sheâs got competition.â He did say he was gonna peel the skin off her face after she returned anyway, though. đ¤ˇđżââď¸
The verbal nastiness between Harley and Black Canary gave us a nice reminder that no one likes Harley. This has been a consistent thing weâve witnessed so far, and the movie will eventually come to a head on it. But we ainât there yet, so letâs just also acknowledge something that may or may not have been a meaningless joke: Black Canary is âthat singer no one listens to.â Imagine making a living out of your voice⌠and never being heard. đ
Le Theme - Birds of Prey (2020): Empowering Emancipation (part 3)
(part 1)
(part 2)
(part 4)
MODERATE SPOILERS
Black Canary
Yet again, the lyrics line up damn well with the story as Black Canary sings (her actor) Jurnee Smollett-Bellâs version of James Brownâs âItâs a Manâs Manâs Manâs Worldâ at the Black Mask Club.
This is a man's world
This is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing
Nothing without aâ womanâ or a girl
After Sionisâ attempt to bring Mr. Keo and the Golden Lions into his fold failed, Black Canaryâs singing takes the forefront while the scene jumps between her performance on stage and Sionisâ attempts to pretend he isnât losing his shit.
This is a man's world
It wouldn't be nothing
Without a woman or a girl
He's lost in the wilderness
He's lost in bitterness
He's lost in loneliness
He's lost
This is a man's world
It wouldn't be nothing
Without a woman or a girl
Now, letâs address the song. On third viewing (yep), I realized the message the movieâs sending. While the world is designed for males, it simply would be significantly less if females opted out (weâll get back to this). Thatâs the first point. The second point is that males (Sionis especially) are lost. Very lost. Why that is? âEh, the song doesnât seem to cover it and the movie doesnât either (directly atleast). Not like itâs important to the movie, though. So letâs carry on.
After she finishes, we get the following.
Harley (V.O.): Canary's been singing at Roman's club for years.
Sionis: *clapping* Come on! *looks at crowd*
Harley (V.O.): He calls her his little bird,
Black Canary: *puts the mic away uncomfortably and forces appreciative smiles*
Harley (V.O.): and he's got her wrapped right around his fancy little finger.
Yeah, weâll get back to this.
Harlequin Joins the Club
The very next thing is an exchange between Black Canary and Harley.
Black Canary: *walks up to bar*
Bartender: Here you go, Canary. *gives her a drink*
Black Canary: *sounding tired* Thank you.
(âŚ)
Harley: *drunkenly* Singer lady woman! *points and smiles*
Black Canary: *looking bothered*
Harley: Youâre really, really good.
Black Canary: *exhaling* Yeah. *sighs before sipping drink*
Harley: *slides up in her space* Know what a harlequin is?
Black Canary: *looking frustrated* Janky-ass clown with bad eye makeup?
Harley: Oof! âŚOuch!
Black Canary: *smiles playfully*
Harley: *looking down, smiling* A Harlequin's role is to serve. An audience. A master. *looks away for a bit* You know, a harlequin's nothing without a master.
Black Canary: *looks at her*
Harley: And no one gives two fucks who we are beyond that. *drinks her shot and turns her back to bar, looking at Sionis laughing with a group*
Black Canary: *looks her over and looks over at Sionis chattering* Yeah, I don't know who you think I am, lady, but I'm not her. *drinks*
Harley: Puddin' and I broke up.
Black Canary: *gives long look*
Harley: *makes brief eye contact* I havenât that to anyone. Yeah. For good this time. And for the first time in a long time, *looks at her with a smile* Iâm all on my lonesome. *holds back tears* Itâs great.
Black Canary: *proceeds to leave the bar* Welcome to the club.
Harley: *sadly* Thanks.
Immediately after, some dude at the bar who clearly heard everything tries to cheer butter her up with drinks. Next shot is him holding her up against a wall in the alley while sheâs mostly unconscious. Black Canary walks out, he puts on an act saying âWeâre all good hereâ, and she continues on to her car only looking back once. We then see Harley drunkenly say âI donât wanna go homeâ before a van backs into the alley, which Black Canary notices in her rear view mirror. Just before they put her in the van (and totally rape and/or kidnap her), the second guy asks âIsnât that [redacted]âs girl?â To which the first answers with a smile, âNot anymore.â
Enter Black Canary and Marva Whitneyâs âUnwind Yourselfâ. The two get a beatdown (with no help from drunk Harley) and Sionis witnesses it from a window above. Before we even get to that part, letâs focus on the lyrics for a sec.
Unwind yourself
Come on and turn that soul loose
Come on baby
Unwind yourself
Turn your soul, soul loose
Well, if you can't groove
And you can't move
Well then baby
Well then baby
That's no groove
No, no
Find yourself
(âŚ)
Oh don't be scared
It won't break
Turn her loose
And let it shake
Let it shake now
Yeah, this is definitely a track Black Canary needed to hear after a stressful day at work. Remember her conversation with Harley earlier? Remember how tired she seemed? Remember her song before that? Remember how uncomfortable she seemed after finishing? Somebody doesnât like their work situation. And thanks to Harley and two fuckheads, she gets to relieve some stress.
Also thanks to Harley and two fuckheads, âSongbirdâ gets unwillingly promoted to the more dangerous servitudinal position of Sionisâ new driver. Why? Because Sionis has an âamazing ideaâ after saying âAll these years, I thought she was just a pretty face and a fine set of lungs.â ...And a certain Harlequin broke the previous driverâs legs. >.>
During the after scene of her strolling to her apartment building, the lyrics of The Three Degreesâ âCollageâ lets us into Black Canaryâs head.
Red for the light, gotta stop this thing
Find a song to sing that is everything
That I meant to say, I meant to say
Simply put, things started moving too fast in a direction she didnât want it to and she wanted to hit dem breaks but they didnât work. đ¤ˇđżââď¸
Black Canary & Cassandra
While making way to her apartment, Black Canary stumbles on Cassandra sitting on the steps just past her own while her foster parents are arguing loudly in it.
Cassandraâs Foster Father: Youâre the one who wanted the kid!
Black Canary: *looks in general direction*
Cassandraâs Foster Mother: I never wanted her!
Black Canary: *scoffs; approaching Cassandra* Let me guess. Parents?
Cassandra: *head down* Foster parents. *briefly looks away*
Black Canary: Right. *briefly looks away*
Black Canary: Sorry, kid. *touches arm casket*
Cassandra: *recoils arm* Sorry about your face. *looks at her* Shit, *both smile* you do have something on your face. *looks ahead*
Black Canary: *laughs* You should've seen the other guy.
Cassandraâs Foster Parents: *still arguing*
Black Canary: *stares in general direction again; exhaling* Uh⌠*looks at Cassandra: *walks away*
Cassandraâs Foster Father: I want that kid
Black Canary: *stops, turns around*
Cassandraâs Foster Father: out of my fucking house!
Black Canary: You know, kid, not every day is gonna be like this.
Cassandra: *looking in general direction; looks at Black Canary*
Black Canary: You just gotta hang in there. *pulls out wallet and approaches; puts dollar bill on staircase pillar* Get something to eat. *backing up and looking in general direction* Stay outta that. It's not worth it. *walks away*
Cassandra: *sits up and leans forward carefully before snatching dollar bill; opens and nods with smile of approval; quickly refolds and hides in arm casket*
Cassandraâs Foster Father: Don't talk to me like that.
So Cassandra turns out to have a rather shitty living situation with foster parents who clearly donât want her around and argue very loudly. She also hides things in her casket instead of putting them in her pockets like a safe-feeling kid would. Whyâs her arm in a casket again?
Black Canary turns out to be even more caring than we thought. With comforting Cassandra and all. But wait,⌠only upon third viewing did I realize something. Black Canaryâs been in a similar boat. Weâll get back to this.
Le Theme - Birds of Prey (2020): Empowering Emancipation (part 2)
(part 1)
(part 3)
(part 4)
MODERATE SPOILERS
Renee Montoyaâs Daily BS
Next, weâre introduced to Detective Montoya, who can't even get the fuckers she works with to take her seriously. See the crime scene scene.
Montoya: There was only one shooter. Inside. *looks down at guy sitting dead in front of her* This guy shot out the glass. Serrano. *gets ignored* Yo. Hey. *walks over to him* Have ballistics check for a bullet in one of those parked cars.
Munroe: *smiles and scoffs briefly before looking at Serrano*
Serrano: *puts arms in front defiantly, shifts weight to one side, and looks at Munroe*
Munroe: *still smiling* Go ahead. *nods with wider smile*
Serrano: *does his job*
Montoya: *looks at Munroe*
Munroe: *performs apologetic body language*
(...)
Munroe: Okay, you think one guy got all four?
Montoya: Wait, wait, wait. *shushes him repeatedly*
Munroe: I'm just saying, we got four dead bodies here, you know.
Montoya: *still shushing him*
Munroe: One guy...
Montoya: I'm trying-
Munroe: Bullet holes.
Montoya: I'm trying to work.
Munroe: I'm sorry. *more apologetic body language* Go ahead and work. Go ahead. *MABL*
Do I need to explain this shit? This essayâs gonna be long enough as it is.
Harleyâs Food Love Affair
After that bullshit, we get to witness Harleyâs food love affair while listening to Barry White's âI'm Gonna Love You Just A Little More Baby.â
Harley (V.O.): Egg, bacon, American cheese. Soft, toasted *visibly falling in love* buttered roll. Just a dash of hot sauce.
Harley: Not too much, Sal. *slight panic* I wanna taste the cheese. *horniness intensifies*
Harley (V.O.): What a way to start my new life.
Harley: *sighs happily*
Harley (V.O.): With the perfect egg sandwich.
Harley: *receives the goods* Mmm! You're a lifesaver, Sal. *pulls out a dollar bill and places on counter* And I'm good for the 75 cents, okay? I promise. That's all the money I got in the world, *pulls a Collector* and it's so worth it.
Let's acknowledge for a sec the fact that she's financially broke at this point. HWSNBN kicked her to the curb and the last bit of money she has (after x weeks/months of fun) gets spent on âthe perfect egg sandwich.â A completely understandable decision.
Shit, letâs acknowledge how she undresses the sandwich (while walking with one shoe). Homegirlâs in love with that shit while the lyrics, yet again, are ringing true to the scene here.
Cause deeper and deeper
In love with you, I'm falling
Sweeter and sweeter
Your tender words of love keeps calling
Eager and eager, yeah
And unlike the last, this momentâone she indulges in regularlyâgets interrupted. By Montoya of all people. The epitome of detectives. How dafuq did she even find her? And why doesnât she have backup? Iâmma let yâall infer on this one.
Back to Montoya â the Disrespect & the Desperation
Simpson (desk sergeant): *sighs* Fuck, Montoya, you smell like a dead rat's asshole.
Montoya: Not today, Simpson.
Male: Hey, it's Detective Montoya. Respect your elders. I mean, your elderly. *salutes and laughs*
Montoya: You're only a few years younger than me, and you're still behind that desk. You wanna go there?
Just leaving that part where it is and moving on. The next scene we see is Montoya arguing with Munroe and her Captain (the fucker) about a potentially big case.
Captain: These are... serious accusations, Miss Montoya. The Sionis family name is on half the museums and schools in Gotham.
Montoya: And that makes him immune to the law, Captain?
Harley (V.O.): Montoyaâs day is going almost as badly as mine. Remember the guy who stole her promotion? Thatâs him.
Montoya: He had four people killed alone last night.
Munroe: *smug-ass look* If Roman Sionis is such a mastermind, howâd he get fired from his own fucking company?
Montoya: The Janus Corporation is his fatherâs company, thank you.
Munroe: *smiling smugly*
Montoya: And by the way, they cut him off.
Captain: Where does the DAâs office stand on all this?
Montoya: *stressed look*
Harley (V.O.): To make matters worse,
Montoya: *looks over at her*
Assistant DA: *thinking with a squint*
Harley (V.O.): the assistant DA? Thatâs her ex.
Assistant DA: The evidence that Sionis is linked to these murders--
Montoya: Thereâs a shipment coming in.
Assistant DA: *somewhat shocked wtf look*
Captain: Drugs?
Montoya: A diamond.
Munroe: A diamond. Wow, Montoya. Should we call the Feds for backup?
Montoya: Listen, I had a source at the club. His driver. He said that Roman couldnât stop talking about this thing. And he said that he overheard something about laser-encoding. Now, I did some research. I think itâs the Bertinelli diamond. You remember the Bertinelli massacre, right?
(âŚ)
Montoya: Which is exactly why Roman Sionis is trying to get his hands on it. That's what makes him so dangerous. He's already building an army. If he gets the diamond, he'll have all the money and connections to bribe every single judge and cop he needs to get a monopoly on the city.
Captain: You said you had someone on the inside?
Montoya: Yes. He's⌠He's no longer there, butâŚ
Captain: So basically, you have nothing. You are trying to go after one of the most litigious and wealthiest families in Gotham, *Assistant DA and Munroe exchange glance* and all you've got is rumors and a hunch?
Montoya: Well, you know, the DA's office is building a case against him, too.
Assistant DA: *confused look*
Montoya: Isn't that right, Miss Yee?
Assistant DA: *looks at her*
Captain: Listen, if the DA is willing to throw himself out in front of this, it's fine with me.
Assistant DA: Captain, n- no.
Captain: Listen, Munroe, find me some tangible connection to Sionis, all right?
Munroe: Yes, sir.
Montoya: Wait, wait, wait. Captain. This is my case, okay? I've been working on this for six months.
Captain: We need something that we can actually use, Detective. And, Miss Montoya, we do have a dress code.
(scene jump)
Munroe: Look,
Assistant DA: No.
Munroe: I'm sorry about that, but IâŚ
Assistant DA: That is my job you are fucking with. What is wrong with you, Renee?
Munroe: Me? He gave my case away.
Assistant DA: Oh, poor Renee. Why don't you pour yourself a drink? It's almost noon.
Munroe: Wow.
Letâs look back for a second. Montoya interrupts the Assistant DA (Miss Yee, her ex) frustratingly when her Captain asks where the DA stands on the matter (instead of just trusting her, I mean really). This interruption isnât even the main problem here. Itâs the fact that Montoya mixes the Assistant DA (her ex) in with a lie to further her own goal. As if she was so desperate to be taken seriously that she had no choice in the matter (weâll be coming back to this). Hell, we later find out that she was wrong anyway. Street smarts says Sionis must be working with the crossbow killer because nobody would dare kill his own people without his permission. Evidence, on the other hand, says the two people have no involvement with eachother.
Back on topic, the Captain gives the case over to Munroe (the idiot) even though Montoya's been working on it for six months because âWe need something that we can actually use, Detective,â which is a work-appropriate way of saying âYeah, I donât think youâre capable.â Then the dress code remark.
Next thing we see is Montoya trying to apologize to Assistant DA for her bs from a moment ago. Assistant DA makes it clear that sheâs pissed and doesnât appreciate Montoya âfucking withâ her job. And Montoyaâs response? The best thing she can think to say after Assistant DA asks âWhat is wrong with you, Renee?â Some good olâ fashioned re-directional bs: âMe? He gave my case away.â Like that 1) justifies her actions, 2) happened before her actions, and 3) isnât an attempt to dodge the question. Again, maybe she was desperate. Regardless, âWhat is wrong with you, Renee?â
This short conversation does not end well, with Assistant DA saying âOh, poor Renee. Why don't you pour yourself a drink? It's almost noon.â Now, letâs think back for a second. Assistant DA is Montoyaâs ex. An ex would surely know someone on a personal level and know just where their sensitivities lay. And her sensitivities is exactly what Assistant DA goes for.
âOh, poor Reneeâ says Montoya complained/vented often about her woes at work. I mean, she gets no credit at best and is constantly undermined by those beneath her. How many years has she worked at the GCPD?
âWhy don't you pour yourself a drink? It's almost noonâ says Montoya has a drinking problem. Again, this likely is due to the daily bs at work.
Why?
So I could just post the laziest simplest format of a post: quick thoughts. Not even a Quickie (Review). Straight up list of thoughts. âCause why not.
Whatâs it gonna look like?
The tiny amounts and loads of lines I add to a calendar entry after watching a movie. Mostly gonna copy and paste âem straight in here. Probably touch âem up a bit. Maybe add an image. idk Should be interesting, though.
Whyâs it on a separate blog?
So I donât clog my main one with so many (frankly) unnecessaries. Anybody whoâs into the main one likely doesnât want to get notified of somewhat unorganized thoughts I had about a movie shortly after watching it. Could be wrong, but just in case Iâm playinâ it safe.
You gonna do anything else with this one?
Iâunno. đ¤ˇđżââď¸ Doubt it, though.
What about Birds of Prey? đŠ
Iâll get around to grabbing the images from the movie for part 2 when Iâm in the mood. Itâs a bit time consuming tbh, and Iâm very against long-ass image-less essays.
Really really really dark in a very bright colored way.
What I liked and loved
the shots
how meticulously slow it was
MMMDâs score
dat one track
how itâs very open-ended
dem (photographic-ass) shots
the fact that this was clearly directed by a photographer
the plot (that got worse in a dark, good way)
that thereâs so much context that I simply donât know
the discomfort of not knowing wth is about to happen [almost like The Wind (2018), but less jump scares]
being stuck in my head wondering wtfâs going on
the fact that it requires dissection (moreso without context)
da milk
Thoughts
really good fuckinâ movie
Watch on a big screen just to get the sound and the visuals (my gursh).
So much to discuss about that plot, though.
Really messed up movie.
Thereâs arguably nothing good to see here.
Depressing af.
Audio File
I would have a link to the (mostly) raw audio of my initial thoughts immediately after watching and discussing this film three years ago (that this whole Quickie was based on), but Chirbitâs giving me an odd error right now. đ¤ˇđżââď¸ and here it is: https://chirb.it/xmK8Kt. [MODERATE SPOILERS]
Le Theme - Birds of Prey (2020): Empowering Emancipation (part 1)
(part 2)
(part 3)
(part 4)
This entire essay assumes there is no poor writing or mistakes made in the entire script and film.
The entire story is told from Harleyâs POV, in her way, at her discretion. And it stays that way.
MODERATE SPOILERS
Their Emancipation
Harley Quinn (aka: Harleen Quinzel) needed emancipation from her obsession after she fell hard for he who shall not be named (HWSNBN). Probably into a psychological trap of sorts, let's be honest. I mean, homie was practically an unappreciated slave to a dude who took credit for her work and treated her like she was, at best, of no importance. Power moves, surely.
Huntress (aka: Helena Bertinelli) needed emancipation from her vengeance (and trauma to a degree). Led to her having issues, lacking social skills, and being driven to kill a select few people. Did she even have a life before her last kill? The second half of her childhood was spent being raised by two male assassins⌠who trained her well in the ways of combat and the crossbow.
Detective Renee Montoya needed emancipation from the entire Gotham City Police Department and their sexist bullshit. She didnât get the respect she deserved, nobody recognized how good she is at her shit, and she was constantly being treated like she was just a diversity hire. Fuckheads. Oh yeah, and Captain Ericksonâher ex-partnerâtook credit for a career-making case she broke and became Captain while âshe got stuck at detective level with an idiot.â
Black Canary (aka: Dinah Lance) needed emancipation from her employerâRoman Sionis (aka: Black Mask)âand his dangerous degree of possessiveness. While he did give her âa jobâ and took her âoff the streets,â he also forced her to do his will. The price of her employment was freedom. Not at all to Harleyâs extent or even in the same way, but still problematic nonetheless.
Cassandra Cain (aka: the kid) needed emancipation from a shit family situation. God damn. Both of her foster parents make it clear that they ânever wanted herâ while in what appears to be a routine vocal shitfest. No wonder sheâs a pickpocket. For someone her age, whatâs the alternative? Selling lemonade? Assuming her foster parents donât take the money for themselves (they âallowâ her to live under their roof afterall), would she even make enough to get out of that situation? Or would it be enough to distract herself with fun?
Where to Start?
How about our main characterâHarley? We start off learning about her beginning. Her dad traded her for a six-pack of beer when she was a baby. Now who exactly would buy a baby (in the USA)? We never find out that bit, but five or six year-old Harley kept coming back to the âdaddyâ who consistently tried to ditch her. Until he eventually âfound [her] a new home.â At the Good Sisters of St. Bernadetteâs. Where she was raised by people who maybe werenât that kind to her.
Jump forward to a PhD, three heartbreaks, and her focus on being a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylumâwhere she meets and falls hard for HWSNBN. To the point that she âlost all sense of who [she] wasâ and âonly had eyes for puddinâ.â Being his âbadass broad,â she was the brains behind some of HWSNBNâs greatest stunts but never got the recognition or appreciation. Very similar to Montoyaâs situation, but⌠more constant.
Skipping over the degree to which she becomes a clearly unreliable narrator at this point, HWSNBN kicks her to the curb and she tries to move on the best way she canâaggressive af roller derby, new friends, and partying hard.
Harleyâs Partying
Letâs focus on the partying scene for a bit. Some dudeâs checking her out while sheâs riding a dance pole and, after she carelessly spills her drink on him, says âsit your skinny ass down, you dumb slut.â To which she responds by jumping down and intentionally breaking his knees. Letâs see how the conversion with Sionis goes.
Harley: *staring the dude down* Call me dumb. I have a PhD, motherfucker.
Sionis: Miss Quinn.
Harley: *all friendly-like* Romy. *small smile*
Sionis: That was my driver.
Harley: *shocked face* Oh, whoops. *large smile*
Sionis: *small smile* Well, I'm sure it was his fault. Consider him fired.
Harley: Consider me grateful. *finger in his face* Especially since I know you don't like me. *talking to the person sitting next to her* I agitate his already delicate sense of mental equilibrium. That and his obsessive-compulsive need to be the *whispers* center of attention. *looks back at Sionis*
Sionis: Will your paramour be joining us this evening? *anticipatory smile*
Harley: *playful smile* Not tonight, Romy. *closes eyes* ...Not tonight. *open eyes, more serious face*
Sionis: Well, enjoy yourself, Miss Quinn. And do give the [redacted] my best. *looks at his driver and walks away*
Harley: *visibly bothered by the topic of HWSNBN*
Harley (V.O.): Okay, fine, so I hadn't told people about the breakup. But you don't understand.
Sionis: *to Zsasz* Find me a new driver.
Harley (V.O.): Being [redacted]âs girlâŚ
Harley: *downs drink*
Harley (V.O.): gave me immunity. I could do whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted, and no one ever dared to object.
So for starters, Sionis is talking to Harley, but primarily concerned with HWSNBN. Almost as if her âparamourâ was the more important of the two or she was merely his assistant (letâs be honest).
Next, we see that she still isnât over the breakup. Or healed, rather.
And then, we learn how her relationship with HWSNBN benefited her (and therefore part of the reason why she stayed).
Yeah, weâll be coming back to all three of these.
From this point on, we witness Harley being pretty problematic while partying (e.g.: shoving people, taking drinks, and puking in a purse). During the entirety of which, we get to hear the chorus âIâm a bitch. Iâm a boss. I'm a bitch and a boss. And I shine like gloss.â Not even gonna do the research needed to explain the significance of these lyrics.
Harleyâs Wakeup Call
Next thing we see is some shit going down after a roller derby match.
Teammate 1: Oh, please. I give it a few days before they're back together.
Shell: Come on. She told me they're really broken up this time.
Teammate 1: *scoffs* Sure they are, Shell. That's why she's still wearing that tacky â[redacted]â necklace.
Teammate: *laughs*
Teammate 1: She is going to be running back into his arms the minute he snaps his fingers. If not him, the next closest alpha male with a pulse.
Teammate 2: Mmm-hmm.
Teammate 1: Some people just aren't born to stand on their own.
So when she gets her wakeup callâher roller derby crew talking mad shit about herâshe resolves to make it clear to the world that she isn't going back to HWSNBN. So what does she do? Blow up âa highly toxic industrial processing plant.â Surely, a great representation of their relationship, especially considering it's where their âlove bloomedâ.
While we're watching her put her âbest ideaâ in motion (by way of stealing and crashing a tanker truck into the plant), we get to enjoy the lyrics to another songâCharlotte Lawrenceâs âJoke's On You.â
Drag me to death, like a lit cigarette
Took my last breath, like the smoke from my lips
I've lied for you, and I liked it too
But my knees are bruised, from kneelin' to you
I've had enough, but you're too hard to quit
We had our fun, now your sugar makes me sick
I've lied for you, and I liked it too
But my makeup's ruined
And can we just say, that the glee on her face as she fully realized her commitment to this moment. This beginning of her emancipation. Was just wonderful.
Immediately after which, she's having flashbacks to when she fully gave herself to HWSNBN (suicidally, of course) and saying âThis is where it all began, Puddinâ. You motherfucker!â
After bailing out of the truck, she looks on with such anticipation. Such hope. That this moment fully comes to fruition. That nothing gets in her way. And it does as nothing does. The plant explodes flashily. As the lyrics continue.
And now I'm laughin' through my tears
I'm cryin' through my fear
But baby, if I had to choose
The joke's on you
The joke's on you
God knows I've tried to be kind
But I won't just lay down and die
Wearin' a fake smile
The joke's on you
Being at the 0:58:53 (54%) mark of the movie and having accumulated 7,303 words composed of 42,232 characters,... Iâve (somewhat reluctantly) decided to release this essay in parts.
How many? No clue.
How big? Not sure.
Whenâs part 1? Maybe today, maybe tomorrow. đ¤ˇđżââď¸
Will there be a consistent release schedule? Probably not after whatâs currently done gets released.
But why? âCause I ainât rushinâ.
The point is the essayâs finally coming out (just realized iâve become Dark Mother, btw đ). Managing the fact that parts will effectively be âfinalizedâ before the whole cake is baked will be an interesting challenge as a writer. Fuck it, I just sold this idea to myself.
Fun fact: Iâve got 935 words and 5,475 characters of notes left to work with for the remaining 50 minutes of the movie. The note documentâs total is 5,617 words composed of 32,240 characters. yay~
So I recently re-watched Kick-Ass (2010) after ~11 years. Does it still hold up? Yeah, i really liked it (low tier). I can totally see a few problems that I might notâve back then, though (e.g.: so much homophobia). Nonetheless, the movie was a joy to re-experience. But little did I know what would happen if I watched this damn thing. With 7 new essay ideas popping up in my damn head over the previous 2 weeks (and 1 forgotten before I could write it down đ¤ˇđżââď¸), how dahell was I surprised when I noticed a certain theme? And of course I had to go back and start taking notes shortly after the movie ended. Why dahell not push my plans aside?
Anyway, letâs get to it (and make this quick). What we have here is a certain portrayal of something simple and easy to miss (pretty sure I did the first time, just sayinâ). Itâs a very important and yet unnoticed, challenging and yet unappreciated thing. Fatherhood. Yep, straight up fatherhood. Lemme tell ya why.
Throughout the 1.95hr movie, we get little snippets of the two major players of it all: Damon Macready (aka: Big Daddy) and Frank D'Amico (aka: Frankie). Both have their respective roles in their daughter/sonâs life. Both make decisions that affect their respective kidsâ lives. Both are parents is what Iâm getting at here. Theyâre parents. Oneâs a vigilante and the otherâs a mob boss. Nonetheless, parents.
Now hereâs where it gets twisted. A donât-analyze-and-youâll-miss-it is that theyâre both villains. Yep. Damon Macreadyâthe ex copâis a villain. Not on the streets, with the way he goes around murdering people, burning property, and stealing goods. No, no. Thatâs just ruining somebodyâs business, their empire. Iâm talkinâ at home. Damon is so obsessed with getting revenge on Frank (understandably) that he becomes damn near completely focused on the singular goalâhis work. So much so that his one and only childâhis âbaby dollââdoesnât get any actual parental attention for the vast majority of their screen time.
Frank D'Amico, in complete contrast, is the only hero between the two families of Damon & Mindy Macready (aka: Hit-Girl) and Frank & Christopher D'Amico (aka: Chris). Frank is a hero at home. You know, to his son. The son he actually spends quality time with and tries to keep out of his dangerous business (to Chrisâ frustration of course). See where Iâm going with this?
Damon is so possessed by his need for revenge that damn near every interaction we witness between him and Mindy revolves around his work. Itâs never really about her. Not her birthday. Not her childhood. Not her feeling noticed.
Major Spoilers
Take their introductory scene, for example. Dudeâs preparing his daughter (whoâs somewhere between 11 and14, idk) for being shot at with lethal rounds⌠by shooting her with a lethal round. This isnât the issue, though, heâs just getting a freaking kid ready for a dangerous job. I mean, the Sandinista National Liberation Front (FSLN) of Nicaragua ended up training child soldiers during the US-backed Contra War (1981-1989), and according to ÂĄLas Sandinistas! (2018) it was a necessary decision. đ¤ˇđżââď¸
But back to the point of bringing up this scene. After finding out she was gonna get shot two more times (into her bullet-poof vest, of course), Mindy decides to make a deal.
Mindy: Look, only if we can go by the bowling alley on the way back.
Damon: The bowling alley?
Mindy: Yep. And ice cream after.
Damon: Hmm. Okay. Two more rounds--no wincing, no whining and you got yourself a deal, young lady.
Mindy: Yeah! I'm gonna get a hot fudge sundae.
Damon: Good call, baby doll!
See that? See that kid at work? She wants to have fun and eat ice cream⌠with her dad. And they do. After bowling, theyâre sitting at a boot eating ice cream across from eachother. Then this happens.
Damon: So have you thought a little more about what you might want for your birthday?
Mindy: Can I get a puppy?
Damon: You wanna get a dog?
Mindy: Yeah, a cuddly fluffy one. And a Bratz Moviestar Makeover Sasha.
Damon: *looks like a stereotypical Conservative when their child comes out as LGBTQ+*
Mindy: *laughs* I'm just fucking with you, daddy! Look, I'd love a Benchmade model-42 butterfly knife.
Damon: *exhales* Oh, child.
Mindy: *chuckles*
Damon: You always knock me for a loop. You know what?
Mindy: What?
Damon: I'm gonna get you two.
Mindy: Two?
Damon: One Balisong. Two Balisong. That's what you get.
After presumably enjoying some quality time bowling with his daughter, Damon actually asks her what she wants for her birthday. Sounds nice and all until he hears her initial answer. She wanted a puppy and Bratz doll like any kid her age would⌠and he had a hard time calmly processing it. So she switches back and turns professional, asking for a damn butterfly knife (wtf?). Now, why would a kid need a butterfly knife? Weâll get to that. For now, letâs just acknowledge the fact that Damon ainât raisinâ no kid in his house. âšď¸
Now for the contrast.
The scene almost immediately before these introduces Frank and his son Chris by starting off with the formerâs work. Dudeâs gotta get information outta an employee (through torture, of course) and makes it clear that he doesnât want to be late for quality time with his son. Letâs have a look.
Frank: Enough! ...Now my son is waiting out there in the car to go to the movies. And I ain't gonna disappoint him. *starts turning around* Joe, you're in charge. *leaves*
Joe?: That's gotta be the worst fuckin' excuse I ever heard, Tre.
Tre: *finger gets sliced, screams*
Frank: *enters car, sits next to Chris, sighs while stretching*
Tre: *screaming continues in background*
Chris: *looking bothered*
Frank: Sorry you had to wait, buddy.
Chris: The movie is starting in 10 minutes.
Frank: It's okay, we're cool. *looking at watch* We're only gonna miss the trailers. *smiles at him*
Chris: Yeah, but I wanted to get some popcorn.
Frank: *looking at front of car* When we get in there, get Chris some popcorn. Okay?
Tre: *distant* You fucking motherfuckers!What do you want to drink? You want a Pepsi?
Chris: Yeah, that's fine.
Frank: Get him a Pepsi. And I'll have an Icee.
Tre: *unintelligible*
Frank: Mixed.
Tre: *back to screaming*
Chris: *looks at him*
Frank: Like when they mix the red one and the blue one?
Chris: *grins*
*gun shot in background, screaming stops*
Frank: And a pack of Twizzlers.
What a considerate dad, âey? Trying not to let his work get in the way of his relationship with his son and trying to make up for being late. I respect that. The fact that his son could hear his work from the car is⌠excusable. At some point, heâs gotta become aware of the type of business his dad does. You know, so he doesnât become naive and fuck things up.
So what we have so far is two types of dads:
a dad whoâs, at best, only concerned with his work and, at worst, directly involving his child in his work.
a dad whoâs, at best, actively trying to keep his child out of his work and, at worst, passively keeping him aware of the type of work he does.
These are the dads of Kick-Ass. Yeah, I know Mindyâs foster dad and Daveâs dad (barely) exist too, but theyâll have their moment later.
As if to intentionally continue the contrast, Frankâs second scene starts off with him spending quality time with his whole family (O_O). Letâs see how it goes.
Joe: Good Morning, Frank.
Frank: *looking up from newspaper* Hey, Joe. How ya doin'?
Joe: Great.
Frank: Want some coffee?
Joe: Uh, maybe later. Good morning, Ange.
Angie: Good Morning.
Frank: *instructingly* Chris.
Chris: Good Morning, Joe.
Joe: Frank, uh, we got a thing.
Frank: *looking like "do you not see me with my family?"*
Joe: It's a big thing, Frank. *motions to the other room*
Frank: *botheredly closes newspaper* Okay. *exhales* Sorry, hon.
Angie: *looks a bit bothered while kinda forcing a smile* Do what you gotta do.
Frank: *leaves table and walks away with Joe*
Chris: *puts away his comic[?] and starts leaving table*
Angie: Chris, where you think you're going?
Chris: I gotta talk to dad.
Angie: *frustratingly* Christopher. *louder* Frank, Honey!*Joe & Frank turn around*
Frank: Where do you think you're going?
Chris: I don't-- I don't mind you talking business, Dad.
Joe: *smiles amusingly*
Frank: *looking like "is you serious?"*
Chris: I was just gonna sit in there quietly. I mean, I should probably start learning and stuff anyway, right?
Frank: *points at him* Hey, go finish your oatmeal.
Chris: God damn it! I'm gonna be 18 in eight months for christ sakes. *turns around*
Frank: *looks at Joe like "you see this shit?"*
Chris: *huffs*
A lot just happened here. We can infer that 1) Frank spends the usual/occasional late morning having breakfast or brunch with his wife Angie (aka: Ange) and son, 2) he doesnât like it being interrupted with his work, 3) his wife probably doesnât like that shit either, 4) his son looks up to and wants to be like him, 5) Joe finds it amusing, and 6) both Angie and Frank ainât âbout him being involved in the business.
Letâs see how the Macready familyâs breakfast tends to goâŚ
Mindy: *enters the locked off section of their home*
Damon: *looks up from his drafting table* Hey, early birdy. Aw, you beat me to it.
Mindy: *puts two drinks and bag of Dunkin' Donuts on computer desk*
Damon: I wanted to get you breakfast this morning. *both laugh*
Damon: Happy birthday, sweetheart. *they high-five* Check this out. *hands her a pink wrapped box*
Mindy: *a bit excited, starts opening it*
Damon: *anticipates her reaction*
Mindy: *opens box, sees two butterfly knives, gasps* Oh, thank you, thank you, *hugs him* thank you! Oh my Gosh. Dad. *releases and admires the blade* Wow. *starts doing tricks* Watch, dad.
Damon: Ok, pop quiz. What's the proper name for one of those?
Mindy: *continues doing tricks* Easy, Balisong. It's, uh, Filippino. Ask me another.
Damon: Excellent, good. Uh, the AR 15 was a lighter, smaller caliber version of what design?
Mindy: Uh, Eugene Stoner's AR-10. Now give me a hard one.
Damon: *goes back to his drawings* The name of...
Mindy: *looks bothered like this is the norm, still doing tricks*
Damon: John Woo's first full-length feature.
Mindy: Tie Han Rou Qing, The Young Dragons. Daddy look. Hey, come on, you're not looking.
So~ this is phucked. Mindy, a child, is usually the one getting them breakfast. But this time, since itâs her birthday, Damon wanted to do it. Unfortunately, he was too caught up in his passions/obsessions/work to notice the time (or remember to). The fact that he called her an âearly birdyâ makes me wonder if Mindy decided to get up earlier than usual for him, though. ...Honestly not sure what to do with that.
So anyway, after a high-five (wtf?) and handing her a birthday present we see Damon anticipating his daughterâs reaction to the gift she wanted. Aw. He does care. Then this freaking 11-looking-year-old starts handling a butterfly knife like sheâs experienced, minding her hands and shit. Dafuq? Letâs focus, though. Mindy wanted her dad to watch her do tricks. She wanted to be seen in her moment of obvious coolness (letâs not lie here, dat shit was impressive). And did Sasuke dad even notice? Nope. Did dad even care? Not at all. Mofo immediately starting giving her a pop quiz about knives, guns, and a totally irrelevant 1975 film. đ With the third question being given after he stopped looking at her and went back to his work. Best part? Mindyâs face made it clear that this wasnât unusual of him⌠at all. Single-parent households, am I right? đ
And then weâre back to Frank & Chris for a brief moment. Chris is sitting at his dadâs desk imitating him (to whatever degree)⌠with a handgun. While his dad trains his martial arts in the other room... by himself. After handing Frank the phone, Chris immediately starts practicing with the nunchucku⌠poorly. Letâs actually make this quick.
Chrisâ imitation makes it clear, once again, that he wants to be like his dad. Frank being in a separate room training makes it clear, once again, that heâs keeping his son away from his work. Chrisâ poor and immediate use of the nunchucku supports both statements.
A few scenes later, weâre back to Damon and Frank spending time with their respective family. Nothing worth mentioning happens in Damonâs scene, but Frankâs scene⌠yeah~. After Frank lays it straight about Kick-Ass being bound to âend up dead,â Chris says he'd actually go to Kick-Ass if he âhad a problem worth fixing.â Mom, while holding Frank's hand, looks over at Chris with a particular expression. Frank states heâs âgot 100 guys who can fix a problem.â To which Mom folds arms and looks uncomfortable. The scene ends with Chris saying "Well, I wouldn't wanna get in the way of your business, where I'm not wanted." and Mom looking over again.
So~ Iâm not sure if Momâs reaction to both of them is a sign of her having a problem with 1) Frankâs work, 2) how much time his work takes away from them, or 3) where these conversations usually go. đ¤ˇđżââď¸ So Iâmma just let yâall come to your own conclusion.
Next time we see Damon & Mindy, theyâre in costume and a few things happen. Hit-Girlâs loving the opportunity to impress the older Kick-Ass with her cool moves. Homie keep lookinâ back at him and growing a smile⌠after killing people to the tune of The Dickiesâ Banana Splits. đ Which makes sense considering the last time we saw her she said âeverybody likes Kick-Assâ and âhe was actually pretty good.â So~ yeah.
But then something unexpected happens. Big Daddy snipes a bullet into a dudeâs head before he could stab her since she forgot to keep her back âto the wall, daddy. I know. It won't happen again. Nice shot, btw." Something about her appraising his shot makes me wonder how often he appraises hers, but letâs focus. Big Daddy sent his daughter on a dangerous mission to kill a bunch of older dudes. In his defense, he did train her apparently well and watch her back from a billboard away. Nonetheless, dangerous af. Even still,... ÂĄLas Sandinistas! (2018).
Next time we see the duo, theyâre waking up the unmasked Kick-Ass in the middle of the night and some... oddness happens. Just gonna ignore him pushing aside and stepping over his freaking daughter to snatch the âinsuranceâ away because âeh, maybe it was a sudden idea (and he was just inconsiderate)⌠or a power move idfk. Anywho, Big Daddy ends the conversation with âHit-Girl, back to headquarters!â while comically running to the open window. Then Hit-Girl stops at the window, looks back at Kick-Ass, and says âSweet dreams.â before blowing a kiss. (yo, wtf?) Is this a game to her? Probably, and weâll be getting back to it shortly.
A few scenes later, we see Sgt. Marcus Williams (Damonâs ex-partner cop) snooping into Damonâs locked off section and going through his drawings. Thanks to this invasive mofo, we learn Big Daddy & Hit-Girlâs backstory (from the formerâs point of view, of course)⌠in the form of a comic. đ Shitâs interesting, donât get me wrong, but it says a lot. So Damon (a âsupercopâ) gets framed by Frankâs inside guy (in the police department, of course) as a drug dealer and gets sent to prison. His âpregnant wifeâ (who was and shall remain unnamed i guess) âwas all alone and could not cope,â so she opted to ODâing on some pills. Fortunately, Mindy was still born (somehow) and Marcus became her guardian (how sweet). Now this is where it gets juicy. Damon starts training and planning for when he inevitably gets released five years later. Once he does, he reunites with Mindy and decides âit [is] time for [her] to get ready too.â
Did I mention this is all in a comic book? Anybody find that strange? Marcus does. Homedude straight up asks Damon (whoâs just entered the room, btw) âIs this how you brainwashed Mindy?â To which, Damon says âYou say brainwashed. I say made it into a game.â And there we have it, the aforementioned scene makes sense now. Hit-Girlâs performing femininity of an adult comic book superhero. What the actual- anyway. Marcus says he missing both of them, but moreso her it appears, and asks him (accusingly, of course) if heâs âstarted some kind of-- mmm, fucked-up superhero club.â Damon effectively denies it. Marcus gives him a warning about eventually being found. Damon says "You know I'm not gonna stop⌠not until D'Amico and his whole damn operation are burnt to ashes and buried." Marcus tells it like it is (ya wife ainât cominâ back, holmes) and says âThis is not the life for Mindy. *starts leaving* You owe that kid a childhood.â This~ is where Damon loses his nerve a bit: âIâll tell you who owes her a childhoodâFrank D'Amico!â Hm~
So Damonâs absolutely obsessed with revenge over his framing, imprisonment, and wifeâs death. So much so that heâs lost focus on giving their freaking daughter âa childhood.â Weâll get back to that matter, though⌠in a way.
Two scenes later, Frankâs âlosing itâ (Joeâs words, not mine) over the fact that 1) he murdered the wrong Kick-Ass (dude was an impersonator/entertainer) and 2) kids apparently look up to Kick-Ass like heâs Spider-Man or something. So much so that he pulls out some âpowderâ and begins to snort (to Joeâs dismay), but not before mimicking a child saying âMommy, I want a Kick-Ass party.â and frustratingly stating âDumb little fucks.â But alas, Chris was at the door⌠eavesdropping like any kid would (amiright?). Mofo comes in at just the right time for Frank to still be taking in that whiff when he lifts his head from the desk and freak out, stating "Oh shit. *hides his habit* Chris, how long you been there? *Chris looks surprised af* What the hell are you doing? Get the hell out." Well, Chris has an idea that could get him Kick-Ass. His employeesâ methods have failed, so why not âgive [his son] a chanceâ? And~ three things happen here:
Chris reaches a half-arm out to hand Frank his list of âthingsâ needed to get the job done.
Franks snatches that list outta his hand like heâs frustrated as hell.
Chris immediately takes three steps back.
âEh, this is an âeh moment to me. Maybe somebody else will see it as a sign of more than just a parent whoâs momentarily frustrated with things that have nothing to do with their kid, but âeh. What I find really worth mentioning is the fact that Frank only got Chris involved in his business when it 1) was Chris' idea and 2) he wanted revenge. Maybe Mindy actually talked Damon into letting her join him so he'd pay attention to and spend time with her. Iâd like to doubt that tbh, but who knows. đ¤ˇđżââď¸
Anywho, a few scenes later, Red Mist has Kick-Ass in his car and heading for a trap. To which Frank says âHe did very good.â to the employee who informs him over the phone and, with a prideful smirk, "He's his father's son." to Joe, whoâs sitting next to him in the car. How warming. Unfortunately, it looks like the whole plan burned in a damn fire and his son mightâve been caught in it along with everybody else by time Frank got there. Dude legit looked saddened and disturbed by it, especially two scenes later when heâs staring out his office window and Gigante (the inside guy) is brought in by Joe. Only knowing that his son is âstill missing,â Frank has such a moment of relief when he sees Chris enter the room. Shit, we even see the two embrace. (and one badass freaking scene shortly after that, but i digress).
Next scene is Marcus warning Damon that Gigante is onto him and says âYou need to get ghost. Hide yourself... quick.â So naturally, Damon takes that as the signal, telling Mindy âNo more homework, baby doll. It's time for Frank D'Amico to go bye-bye.â And Mindy's excited about it, like she âfinallyâ gets to face the endboss. ...She was reading a comic, btw.
So~ instead of fleeing with his daughter, he decides to finish the mission. Understandably so. Dude made it clear where he stood on the topic and, judging by the way they do things (like the fact that Mindy didnât seem to be in the building during the last mission), theyâll probably survive.
Three scenes later, I realize the living room theyâre regularly seen in has its walls covered in guns (wtf?). More importantly, Damonâs at one desk figuring out the final plan while Mindyâs at the opposite desk looking for a new toy⌠itâs a jetpack. The toyâs a jetpack. Never skip family time.
Some scenes later, Mindyâs walking out of the kitchen in the only part of their home[?] weâll ever see and hands Damon âHot chocolate, extra marshmellows.â while carrying her own mug. Theyâre admiring the new jetpack for a moment (that Damon attached Gatling guns to it seems) before they say goodnight. But when Kick-Ass reaches out, Damon prioritizes meeting up with him âat Safehouse âBââ and enjoying their âhot chocolate when [they] get back.â Well, only one will be coming back, but before that. Letâs acknowledge how distraught Big Daddy was when Hit-Girl (his freaking daughter) took three shots to the torso from motherfucking Red Mist. So distraught that, instead on focusing on the main threat (da dude in his safehouse with a handgun) and keeping his back âto the wall,â he rushes over to the windowsill she fell from to look upon her⌠while still yelling âNo!~â âšď¸
Two scenes later, Frankâs reasoning with his kid by explaining why he's killing Kick-Ass too since, ya know, Chris is against it and just sees Kick-Ass as âsome geek.â The conversation ends with Frank asking âYou really wanna be a part of my business?â before telling Chris to âSit down. Shut up⌠and watch.â Welcome to the family business, kid. đ
Nevermind the fact that Frank âbasta let his son witness two mofos get tortured and burned alive. He finally feels like Chris is capable enough to have a learning seat within the empire. đđż đđż đđż Good for him. Good for âem both.
Fortunately unfortunately, Big Daddy trained his daughter well. She steps in at the last second and starts murdering a room full of dudes. Seriously, he taught her how to do their work so well that he only had to remind her of three tactics while she handled the situation⌠as he burned alive. đ¤ˇđżââď¸ And after that mess, she puts his fire out and we finally get to hear him wheeze âGood job. I'm so proud of you, baby doll. Are you okay? (...) No [I'm not the kindest daddy in the whole world], I just-- I love you." before he dies from his very severe burns.
Immediately afterward, Hit-Girlâs driving a freaking car pretty well, actually. So Big Daddy taught her everything, I guess. Ok. And itâs a stick⌠alright. Movinâ on, Dave asks her what her real name is. To which she responds, âA superhero never reveals his true identity.â like it's not reality or... is a game. đ
At homebase, sheâs staring at the two cups of hot chocolate she and her dad were gonna enjoy when they returned from what turned out to be The Kick-Ass Blunder and makes a decision. To finish the job. So while Daveâs cleaning his bloodied face, sheâs loading guns and sharpening them butterflies. Dude comes out surprised as hell that she apparently didnât get his meaning when he said âPack up whatever you need and weâll go back to my place.â She responds to his re-explanation with a heavily implied threat of basically âMy dad wouldâve wanted me to shoot you dead where you stand.â and uses the iron sighs to aim an SMG dead at his face. His ass looks panicked, understandably, but she eventually changes her mind (or puts away the bluff) by saying âHe would have wanted me to finish what we started. And thatâs exactly what Iâm gonna do.â
While Hit-Girlâs still preparing for a mass murder, Dave is taking in the room weâve seen her and Damon working in. Eventually noticing the footage from inside Frankâs building, he points out âall that securityâ and asks her âAre you crazy?â To which, she responds âMy mom already died for nothing. So I'm sure as hell not gonna let my dad die for nothing too.â Wisely, Dave points out âYou canât do this on your own.â And she responds, âExactly. You wanna deal with owing my dad? (which he mentioned in the car) Then shut the hell up and pick your weapon.â
After some shootinâ and blade handlinâ, we get to the boss fight. Kick-Ass & Hit-Girl barge into the room Frank & Chris were (understandably) hiding in and stare down their respective opponent. Frank says âGet him,â prompting Chris to do so with clear reluctance. So while those two are conveniently having their battle in the training room from much earlier, Frank and Hit-Girl get ready for their showdown with Frank saying âPlay time's over, kid.â and Hit-Girl replying âHa. I never play.â Pretty sure this is true, btw.
And now we see the difference that raising a kid to âfightâ makes in the way Chris and Dave fight it out... like amateurs. They both suck at it. Chris is slinging that nunchucku like heâs scared of getting hit and isnât even trying to be lethal. Kick-Ass blocks all of his âattacksâ quite well in comparison. Meanwhile, in the actual boss fight, Hit-Girlâs back on her feat after a sudden roundhouse kick (to the face of course) and hopping around dodging Frank like a damn ninja. She eventually gets in close and starts laying into him, but~ he pulls her off and holds her up against the shelves⌠with his hand around her throat. She smashes a glass ornament (or something) against his face, causing him to throw her onto the desk where she grabs a letter opener (i think) and turns the tide. For a bit. He eventually flips her onto the desk, breaking it and rendering her unable to continue the fight. Almost immediately after, we see the two amateurs knock eachother out simultaneously.
Back to the boss fight, Frank punching Hit-Girl in the face twice while venting his frustrations with the damage she and Big Daddy have done to his business (you know, killing everyone on his payroll) before finding his gun and seeming like he mightâve been coming to terms with the fact that he was about to kill a (very young) kid. I guess heâs gonna, âcause he steps onto the floor-ridden desk and says âGod, I wish I had a son like you.â before cocking the gun and pointing it at her head. (Funnily enough it's his own being-a-better-parent fault that his kid's not like Big Daddy's. đ¤ˇđżââď¸) Just after saying âTime for the family reunionâ (ouch), Kick-Ass fires a damn rocket launcher at him and blows his ass up (after it pushes him outside the building somehow). While those two make their escape using the jetpack that Mindy found online, Chris wakes up and grabs an actual katana like heâs ready to actually ascend to villainhood⌠by way of murder. Too bad for him theyâre already launching off.
After landing on a rooftop, Kick-Ass takes off his mask and introduces himself as Dave Lizewski. Hit-Girl finally takes off hers and introduces herself as Mindy Macready. Then they turn to stare at the sunset together (for some reason).
Anywho, we learn during the epilogue that Mindy starts going to Daveâs school (that the movie made clear also teaches ages 6-12) and Marcusâthe guy who originally raised herâgoes back to being the father she needed. So, in the end, two characters lost a father. One regained a significantly better one while the other only gained an inheritance. đ
Fina-freaking-ly done going scene-by-scene. Letâs finish up.
So which dad is best? Mindyâs Damon Macready (aka: Big Daddy) or Chrisâ Frank D'Amico? Well, letâs run that over real quick.
Chrisâ dad didn't want him involved in the family business or even listening in (for the most part), but still made time to spend with him. Mindy's dad was too obsessed with his mission (or job rather) to spend quality time with her, so their interactions were almost all work-related.
Mindy arguably made herself into the person Damon wanted (to gain his approval?) when she asked for a puppy and doll at the bowling alley (and then defaulted back to a butterfly knife when he started visibly losing it). Chris, on the other hand, was actually trying to be like his dad even though Frank seemed against it for most of the movie.
Mindy was accepted as a daughter under specific conditions: being like her dad. Chris was almost wholly accepted as a son, but rejected as a student and inheritor.
Mindy was conditioned trained to be good enough for her father. Chris, being allowed a freaking childhood, was never trained to become good enough to inherit his dadâs empire,⌠which reminds me a lot of Evergreen & Gunter from S6E24 of Adventure Time.
Mindy, having been well trained, was put in dangerous situations that almost got her killed on atleast one occasion (but Damon was there to cover her with a sniper rifle, so itâs fine i guess). Chris, not having been well trained, was given a constant bodyguard to protect him from physical (and financial) dangers.
Mindy had no social life and didnât go to school because her dad was too busy involving her with his work. Chris had no social life beyond his dadâs paid workers and (seems like he) didnât go to school because Frank made the arguably wise decision to shelter him a little.
Now, before we answer the most important question of âWho is best dad?â (thatâs right, this whole essay was a scheme for my own tier list!), weâve gotta acknowledge something. This some class privilege shit, yâall. Yep, straight up class privilege. Damonâs got nobody to help him do his illegal-ass vigilante work. Nobody but his daughter. Frankâs got a legion of dudes on his payroll (including a driver and a cook) who can take care of things, as seen during his introductory scene when he put Joe in charge of torturing and killing the apparent âgreedy little cocksuckerâ in his midst. If MarcusâDamonâs old supercop partnerâwas down for dat criminal murderous lifestyle, he probably (hopefully?) wouldâve just asked him to join the cause. In which case, Mindy wouldâve arguably spent less time with her dad⌠and probably the same amount of quality time (e.g.: bowlling alley, thatâs it thereâs nothing else). And letâs be real, if the second person in the Safehouse âBâ was an adult, the Red Mist Betrayal wouldâve played out different and Mindy either wouldâve lost both dads or neither. đ¤ˇđżââď¸ Regardless of what couldâve been, what we have is what has been. And with that, the answer is obvious... Marcus is best dad.
And no, I ainât explaininâ why. This essayâs too damn long. So hereâs the order: Sgt. Marcus Williams, Frank D'Amico, Mr. Lizewski (Daveâs dad), Damon Macready.
Can I watch the sequel now?
Tests (4/24/22):
Iâm gonna skip 3 crew tests and the entirety of Crew Data. Hereâs the test process for the other 17, though.
With 14 films watched and 3 favorited in 2021, I composed a list of my top. To coincide with 2019â˛s pure happenstance, the list is almost an exact third (5) of the total films watched. Be aware that I donât have as much to say about some of these because I took relatively little notes after. Anything seen after the end of February, 2022, isnât included.
Honorable Mentions: none
Blind Rating is how worthwhile the film is watching âblindâ (or knowing nothing). The scale is 1 (worth it) to 5 (you must). âEh is essentially a 0.5.
1. Envy | ContraPoints (USA)
Saw on YouTube atleast 2.5 times and witnessed Dark Mother talking about making it on separate occasions. i fucking love it (mid/high tier?). Best movie of the year. Fight me.
Blind Rating: 1/5 | film | trailer:
âStarting at the surface with celebrity gossip, then spiraling into the inferno of the human psyche. Virgil, get me out of here.â
2. Evangelion: 3.0+1.01 Thrice Upon a Time (Japan)
Saw on Amazon Prime Video twice. i really like it (high-ish tier). Emotionally painful, but wonderfully fulfilling. So many held back tears, and the 2nd half hurt like a mofo. I feel very satisfied after FOURTEEN FUCKING YEARS of waiting for the 4th installment. What in the everlovingfuck. Yeah, took forever but the story concludes very well and in a better-ish way than the series (mostly just a different goal/intention, though).
To make this clear for those who arenât anime enthusiasts, this film was (arguably) a bigger deal and definitely more impactful than Endgame (2019).
Blind Rating: 3/5
3. Zack Snyderâs Justice League (USA)
Saw full color version on HBO Max. i really like it. Impressed with how much better it is. Shit was so fucking worth it.
Blind Rating:?/5
4. Eternals (USA)
Saw in theatre. i really like it (high tier?). Das ma shit. Loved dat gay shit and how the plot was handled.
Blind Rating: 0.5/5
5. Dune (USA)
Saw on HBO Max twice. i really like it (mid tier). Immediately wanted to see part 2 after it ended (unexpectedly). Great seeing so many BIPOC's as an entire planetary race.
Blind Rating:?/5
So in anticipation for The Matrix: Resurrections' (2020) release on 12/24th, I decided to re-watch the trilogy a few days prior. Well, that plan got jacked up when I noticed a certain theme running throughout the first film's script and just had to make a damn project out of it. Was supposed to just be gif's/screenies of moments certain keywords were used, specifically âbeliefâ and âknowâ. Didn't expect it to get as huge as it did (56 gifâs totaling 1.96GB with the smallest being 4.29MB and barely 4 seconds), but I did keep expanding on what scenes I was going to capture after realizing there were other words and moments that played directly into the theme.
With a runtime of 2 hours and 30 16 minutes (curiously), the most spoken keyword is âknowâ (32) with âcanâ (27) coming in second and âbelieveâ (18) third.. unless you include their variations, which would make it 41 (27+13+1) for âcanâ and 29 (4+18+5+1+1) for âbelieveâ. While I could use this data to conclude that the main theme is either âknowâ (or âknowledgeâ rather) or âcanâ (or âabilityâ rather), I donât find it accurate. Knowing and ability are just a part of the scheme, the theme, da belief. For is it not suitable that one can only if they know and believe? Is anything possible otherwise?
In Planescape Torment (the greatest RPG ever made), the Nameless One (aka: the player) meets a Githzerai named Dakâkon. Why am I bringing this videogamer bs up in an essay about The Matrix? Iâm getting there. The Githzerai are a race of people native to the plane of Limbo, one that is so inherently chaotic that nothing stays constant. Not unless, of course, one wills it so. Cue why I brought up Dakâkon. You see, through him the player learns the importance of âknowingâ. For in his home plane, not knowing would cause the collapse of an entire city. Literally and figuratively. His very weaponâthe Zerth Bladeâis known as a karach (chaos matter) blade. Its shape, sharpness, and power is entirely determined by its userâs will. If Dakâkon loses his will, be it from uncertainty or simply not knowing himself, his blade weakens.
This concept (or reality rather) is even a teaching within his peopleâs religious textâthe Unbroken Circle of Zerthimon (Iâm going somewhere with this), which states in its Eight (and final) Circle âA divided mind is one that does not *know* itself. When it is divided, it cleaves the body in two. When one has a single purpose, the body is strengthened. In *knowing* the self, grow strong.â This is how significant âknowingâ is to the Githzerai. Its significance sprouting in their weapons, religion, and entire way of thinking surely springs from the natural state of their home planeâThe Ever-Changing Chaos of Limbo.
Now, why did I cover all that Dungeons & Dragons nonsense? To give us a base layer from which to view The Matrixâs main theme of Belief. A theme that I found to be reflected throughout the filmâs entirety. Letâs begin.
Major Spoilers
The reason why Morpheus and his crew were planning to save Neo from the Matrix in the first place is because 1) Morpheus believed âso blindlyâ that he was the One and 2) he âhad toâ since doing so would end the search for the One who âwould hail the destruction of the Matrix, end the war, bring freedom to our people.â
The reason why the Agents went after (and bugged) Neo is because they believed Morpheus was planning on freeing him.
The reason why the agents believed this is because Cypher (the piece of shit) became their informant and fed them true information (Trinityâs location in the Matrix).
The reason why Cypher was a fucking sellout is because he believed âignorance is blissâ and wanted back into the Matrix.
The reason why Cypher wanted back into the Matrix is because he believed 1) Morpheus âlied to usâ, 2) âtricked usâ, 3) that âwe wouldâve told you to shove that red pill right up your assâ if âyou wouldâve told us the truthâ, 4) escaping the Matrix to the real world wasnât freedom, 5) âthe Matrix can be more real than this world,â and 6) he could be reinserted into the Matrix with his memories erased.
But letâs get into the important bits.
During their martial arts spar, Morpheus tries to âfreeâ Neoâs mind by flat out telling him âYouâre faster than this. Donât think you are, know you are.â And then, during their jump session, furthers this goal by saying âYou have to let it all go, Neo, fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free⌠your mind.â While Neo fails the jump, he still got the picture. I mean, having born witness to Morpheus successfully jumping from one rooftop to another across the street, how could he doubt it?
Then he meets the Oracle, who, after he tells her he doesnât know if heâs the One, draws his attention to the sign resting on her kitchenâs doorway that says âKnow Thyselfâ in Latin. She then lets him âin on a little secret. Being the one is just like being in love. No one can tell you youâre in love. You just know it⌠through and through. Balls to bones. Now hereâs where it gets juicy. She proceeds to plant a double seed of sorts right in that ânot too brightâ head of his by telling him 1) heâll have to choose between Morpheus dying (which would cause everyone to become âlostâ) and himself and 2) not to worry about it because âYou donât believe in any of this fate crap. Youâre in control of your own life. Remember.â So yeah, Grandma O playinâ some chess, yâall.
Later, after the Cypher Heresy, Neo rejects the realistic choice of pulling Morpheusâ plug while heâs in the Matrix (thus killing him) to save Zion and all of its inhabitants. All of those living in the real world. And why? Because 1) âthere has to be something that we can doâ, 2) he doesnât âbelieve this is happening,â 3) âthis canât be just a coincidence,â 4) he â[has] toâ go in to save Morpheus, 5) heâs ânot the Oneâ and is âjust another guyâ (therefore Morpheus is sacrificing himself for the wrong reason because Neoâs life is valued less than his), 6) itâs ânotâ suicide for him to go alone into a militarized building holding three Agents, 7) he âcan bring him backâ, and 8) âno one has ever done anything like thisâ therefore âitâs going to work.â
Next thing we see this sudden badass do is a bunch of shit thatâs not relevant (enough) to this essay, so letâs move along. When Morpheus is running to the helicopter to escape the tall-ass skyscraper and gets shot in the leg, Neo says âheâs not gonna make itâ and dives forward to meet him halfway (while safely hooked to the helicopter of course). After realizing Trinityâs still in the helicopter as it plummets past the building he lands on, he immediately grabs hold of the rope thatâs still attached to himself and lets the weight of the helicopter drag him across the rooftop and damn near to the edge before Trinity shoots her end loose while grabbing hold. After pulling her up, Neo tries to tell Morpheus that the Oracle straight up (but only technically) told him heâs not the One only to be shot the fuck down with a lecture: âShe told you exactly what you needed to hear. Thatâs all. Neo, sooner or later, youâre going to realize just as I did, thereâs a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.â
Next motherfuckinâ thing we see is this mofo doing the exact opposite of what Cypher the Heretic warned him to do when he sees an Agent. Neo looks at the subway exit and then turns his ass right around to face his foe, the immortal. And what does Morpheus say when Trinity asks âWhat is he doing?â âHeâs beginning to believe.â Cue the fight wherein Neoâor the One rising ratherâholds his own against Agent Smith, a task that Morpheus failed to do earlier in the film. While Neo does effectively lose the fight in the end, he does bend/break the Matrixâs rules enough to free himself from Agent Smithâs grasp and escape. And how does his rush to Room 303 (the nearest way out of the Matrix) turn out for our dude? He gets shot. Multiple times. By Agent Smith (and also dies).
This moment is so baffling to Morpheus, who believes âso blindlyâ that not even the Oracle âcan convince him otherwise,â that his only response is âIt canât be.â Meanwhile, freaking Sentinels (the tentacled killing machines) are cutting into the ship and Morpheus already has the EMP (their only defense against them) charged and ready,⌠but he ainât doinâ shit but staring at the screen. Why? Because two moments prior, when they knew the Sentinels were approaching and when they first started lasering through the ships exterior, Morpheus said to Trinity in reassurance âHe's going to make it.â You know, so she didnât think he was effectively going to pull Neoâs plug to save themselves (oh how the turn tables).
Now here we are, Neoâs impossibly dead, the Sentinels are closing in, and everybodyâs staring at some videogame screen. Well, not Trinity. Sheâs gettinâ busy talking to the dead saying the Oracle told her she would fall in love with the One and therefore âyou canât be deadâ before kissing his dead-ass on the lips. Suddenly, a miracle. This mofoâs heart starts beating again and he opens his eyes in the Matrix. Then bestgirl commands âNow get up.â and this mudafucka rises. Then the Agents turn around, draw their guns in sync, and he turns his head to them uninterestedly and says âNo.â just before they start blastinâ. Mofo stretches out his hand, slows and stops the bullets in front of him, then drops them all after taking a close look at one he picked out of the bunch (like a berry). When Tank asks the question all our asses was askinâ when we saw this shit (âHow?â), Morpheus answers: âHe is the One.â
Anywho, the One effortlessly whoops Agent Smithâs ass and literally obliterates him before the other two Agents flee (as they should). While heâs making his way back to Room 303, the Sentinels close in on everyone inside the ship and Trinity yells âNo!â just before Morpheus activates the EMP, disabling the Sentinels (and the ship). The One makes it and we get an end scene of him talking to an unknown someone through a payphone in the Matrix, saying what he does and doesnât know before explaining exactly what heâs going to do on humanityâs behalf. Cue the credits.
What was this whole essay about again? Oh yeah, Belief. Thatâs what it all goes back to. Where and why it all started. Some mofos believed some things, so they did some things, and we got a 2.5hr film out of it. Just like the Githzeraiâs weapons, cities, and way of life, it all comes down to believing and knowing.
Do I finally get to finish rewatching the trilogy now?
Tests:
Iâm gonna skip 4 crew tests and hold off on posting Crew Data (for now?). Hereâs the test process for the other 16, though.
Fuckinâ Hell - 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days (2007): We Need More Abortion Films
Audio version to be done later (after i buy a mic).
Because of all this abortion shit that's been going on (fuckin' hell), I'm feeling a strong desire to say something. Should've when the Texas bs went down, but 'eh. Since this entire blog's about movies, I'mma keep it relevant (so chill). Lemme Tell You About 4 Months 3 Weeks 2 Days (2007) real quick.
Checked this out of my college library 6 years ago and really enjoyed it. No recollection of my thoughts at the time, but I know I was excited when it streamed on MUBI 2 years ago.
But what's it even about? While dat there's spoiler territory (BR: 1), I've already crossed part of that bridge by bringing it up in this context. So~ how should I put it?
It's a tense-ass experience of being the fly on the wall during less than 24 hours of an individualâs particular day. And what happens in this day? Nothin' much. She gets cash from her boyfriend Adi (Alexandru Potocean), trades it for a pack of cigarettes, helps out her friend, and endures the prearranged dinner with her boyfriendâs family for his motherâs birthday.
Oh yeah, her friend. She's the one the movie indirectly revolves around. Everything that happens is arguably just another effect of what happened to her. And what happened? We'll get to that.
You see, the movie takes place during a very particular time period (Nicolae Ceausescu's dictatorship in 1987) of a certain place (Romania). And during this time period, contraceptives are generally illegal (for economic reasons Iâm told) and abortions are so illegal that the doctor/abortionist would be executed if done after the 5 month mark. So yeah, great time and place to be, right?
Well, anywho, Gabita (Laura Vasiliu) needs that abortion and homegirl Otilia (Anamaria Marinca) is down for the cause. So they (mostly Otilia) make all the moves necessary to get the deed done. Unfortunately, thereâs a problem.
Major Spoilers
Mudafuckinâ Ramona (an acquaintance) recommended âMr. Bebeâ (Vlad Ivanov) for the deed. Why? Well, thatâs what Otiliaâs wondering by a certain point of the film. Whyâs this a problem, though? Well, both Otilia and Gabita find out firsthand when the time comes. You see, âMr. Bebeâ is kind of a dick. That ainât accurate. Heâs... pushy... and... advantage taking if you catch my drift.
[trigger warning]
So they both endure some coercive rape (one at a time of course) because he threatened to leave if they didnât say yes- oh, Iâm sorry, all because they didnât have enough lei to pay him on the spot. An extra 2k actually... when everybody, including Ramona (whoâs suspiciously gone until the after the deed) said it should cost 3k lei. đ
Any~who, the deedâs done and Otilia leaves for an hour to attend that dinner with her boyfriendâs family. Unfortunately for him, sheâs in a really bad mood. Unfortunately for her, one of his parentsâ friends is... a pain. Atleast they talk about it before she heads out prematurely (embarrassing him) to check up on Gabita. Not that the conversation was great, mind you. Turns out, Adi actually came inside her less than a week ago (after she told him not to, so thereâs another rape) and is certain she wonât get pregnant. đ
Any~who~, they (Otilia) have to dispose of the fetus (yep) and, upon her return, finds Gabita at a restaurant in the hotel. They talk very briefly about the fetusâ disposal before Otilia says âYou know what we're going to do? We're never going to talk about this, OK?â The film has 6 more lines of dialogue before it ends.
This is a very intense film. It builds up slowly, but somehow briskly, with its long takes and tracking shots while allowing the viewer (a fly) to witness less than 24 hours of a specific individualâs particular day. It is, in effect, the other Little Woods (2018). Or, more fairly, her older sister (from a different mother).
4 MONTHS, 3 WEEKS, AND 2 DAYS: The Corruption of Intimacy - A Booktube Channel
Oppression and Abortion in Mungiu's '4 Months' - February 7, 2008 (Fresh Air)
âAs much as the film speaks about abortion, itâs not necessarily a film about abortion for me. Abortionâs... an important part of it, but itâs a lot a film about that period and itâs a lot a film, for me, about decision making and responsibilities in life and freedom during that period and compromise and friendship and solidarity, so I think that narrowing the discussion and talking too much about abortion is a way of not... perceiving the film the way I intended.â âNicolai Ceausescu (director)
There, Iâm done. I put aside my plans for the day to type this damn thing up and am now gonna go watch a supernatural mystery anime for an hour before bed.
EDIT (12/24/21):
I realize that this is more a summary than an essay, and Iâm fine with that.
With 27 films watched and 0 favorited in 2020, I composed a list of my top. To coincide with 2019â˛s pure happenstance, the list is an exact third (9) of the total films watched. Be aware that I donât have as much to say about some of these because I took relatively little notes after. Anything seen after the end of February, 2021, isnât included.
Honorable Mentions: Tenet, Birds of Prey, Promising Young Woman
Blind Rating is how worthwhile the film is watching âblindâ (or knowing nothing). The scale is 1 (worth it) to 5 (you must). âEh is essentially a 0.5.
1. Shiva Baby (USA)
Saw on Eventive.org during 25th Annual Denver Jewish Film Festival and watched a live post-film Q&A a week later. i really like it (mid/high tier). Magursh, dat shit was fucking hilarious. Thereâs so much going on, especially in the scene-work and background, that I was impressed. Tempted to watch it a second time to see how much I missed in terms of body language and background shit. Such drama; much tension.
Surprisingly, this put me in such a good mood that I refused to watch the other movie I had planned.
Blind Rating: 3/5 | trailer (donât)
2. Masel Tov Cocktail (Germany)
Saw on on Eventive.org during 25th Annual Denver Jewish Film Festival. i really like it (high tier). This short was funny as hell. Didnât expect the places it went.
Blind Rating: 0.5/5 | trailer
3. They Ainât Ready For Me (USA)
Saw on Eventive.org during 25th Annual Denver Jewish Film Festival and attended a post-film Q&A a week later. i really like it (mid/high tier). This documentary inspired me to actually stay in this shit country (fuck). I wasnât expecting it to get into her family history like that, but Iâm really glad it did.
Blind Rating: 0.5/5 | trailer
4. Kapaemahu (USA)
Saw online during 17th Indigenous Film & Arts Festival - Places of Memory and attended a post-film Q&A immediately after. i really like it (mid tier?). This short was an experience. Really enjoyed the story, animation, and audio. To me, itâs a documentary.
Blind Rating: 0.5/5 | trailer | film
5. Cuties (France)
Saw on Netflix. i really like it (mid tier). More for what it does than how well it does it tbh. Not to say it did anything poorly, though, I just really like what itâs... about.
Blind Rating: 1/5 | trailer | essay
6. Asia (Israel)
Saw on Eventive.org during 25th Annual Denver Jewish Film Festival. i really like it (low tier). Well, this was fun. Totally didnât fuck with my emotions at all. ~Nope. When the ending came, I actually questioned whether or not that much of the film had passed already.
Blind Rating: 1/5 | trailer
7. Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution (USA)
Saw on YouTube and discussed with someone after. i really like it (low/mid tier). This was damn interesting. Glad it was funded, made, and released for free. This is one of those documentaries that make me appreciate people who like to record and maintain things, especially footage.
Blind Rating: 0.5/5 | trailer | film
8. The Forty-Year-Old Version (USA)
Saw on Netflix and discussed with someone after. i really like it (low/mid tier). Glad that someone brought this up âcause I probably wouldâve never watched it otherwise. In hindsight, it kinda reminds me of Dope (2015) for some reason. Was supposed to write a Quickie for this, but never got around to finishing it. đ¤ˇđżââď¸
Blind Rating: 0.5/5 | trailer
9. In My Room (France)
Saw on MUBI. i really like it (low tier). This short is odd, but wonderfully. Dat reveal, though.
Blind Rating: 1/5 | trailer
