Isn’t it sad when it seems you can’t move on with your life because you’re tied up in a responsibility you’re forced to. I love my mom, but it’s hard to convince myself I can do anything for her when all she think of is I’m just an ATM machine. I’m drained. Expressing myself that I need help and that it’s getting harder for me to start building my life while helping them, you’re being guilt tripped and accused of abandoning her. Really? Until when will my life be like this?
Her telling us she’ll rather poison herself and die so she’ll be reunited with our dad. Her telling us she dedicated all her life for us while here we are neglecting her and starting a life of our own. Isn’t that’s how supposed to be a mother? As her child and becoming the eldest I never felt appreciated. I’m always lacking even though I’ve given my all. I never heard her ask “kaya mo pa ba?”, “meron ka pa ba diyan para sa sarili mo?”, or say, “ok na to pagkasyahin nalang”, “kaya pa naman”, “salamat anak”. Almost always, “ito lang?” . Sad life.
I miss my dad. He’s the proudest of who I’ve become, all I’ve accomplished and all of what I’ve provided for this family. 😭
