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@letterboxdwrapped
sideblog of thetyger.
i need to quarantine my magicianposting for my own mental wellbeing. also if i need to post about mission impossible because they're all the same franchise to me.
i genuinely like all (non-dylan) horsemen ships but unfortunately i have the brainworms that means i can only think about june/bosco/charlie. i also write about them sometimes. ao3 here.
i am an adult. follow responsibly.
i love whenever ethan hunt touches someone's face so so tenderly, but it's an especially potent move in a universe where people are wearing rubber face masks all the time.
so in honor of me rewatching mission impossible: the final reckoning for the first time since last year (along with the rest of the movies leading up to it), i decided to write up my interpretation of how it should have ended. this is not a Complete Fix for the movie, which to be clear i mostly like. the goal of this rewrite is me attempting to attach more meaningful arcs to all characters with as few substantive changes as possible, while also keeping all the elements i actually like.
in general, we're doing away with the clip show bits and respecting the audience's intelligence to remember things that happen in previous movies, especially when they mostly don't actually specifically matter to the plot. but i get the impulse to connect back to this whole 29-year movie history, which is why we're going hard on the connection to the first movie specifically.
when ethan goes into the Future-Telling Computer God Sarcophagus to talk to the entity, the scene plays out differently. he's in a mission breifing, in a familiar room. his first team -- jim, claire, jack, hannah, and sarah -- are all there, but they're played by the same actors, so they look older. the entity is trying to placate ethan with what it knows he wants: this is what it would've been like if they hadn't all died. it's an eerie reflection of the first movie, and instead of briefing him on a mission, his dead friends speak with the entity's voice. he's the chosen one, now, and he's going to be the one to make the entity's reality the true reality. speaking of dead characters though, luther wouldn't die or have Mysterious Disease (i would posit the disease was the dreaded Not Enough Screentime Virus). like, we can just skip all that. the movie's long enough, and while i can see the merit of killing off the one other guy we've had around since the beginning, the movie doesn't, like, DO much with that until the very end. and also weirdly kneecaps the emotion of the scene by making it so that luther was already dying, so we don't have to feel bad about him sacrificing himself i guess? such a weird and bad choice and i fucking hate it.
secondly, ilsa's alive. this is fanfic world i don't have to worry about rebecca ferguson's shooting schedule, okay. we would get the reveal that she's back when she shows up instead of grace in the decompression chamber with ethan. "how did she get there," you may ask. luther told her; she was doing her own secret disarm-all-nukes mission in russia (so she was...nearby-ish), but now her plan and ethan's plan are the same. he face-touches her, asks if he's dead and if he completed the mission. she says "you're not dead, i'm sorry, there's more for you to do" (<- see what i did there. "i'm sorry" can apply to either part of that statement.) OH! and when he first wakes up and sees her, half-delirious, he calls her "julia." she doesn't contest it.
the team (ethan, luther, benji, ilsa, grace, theo, tapeesa, and donloe) meets up and goes over The Plan for the finale. ilsa explains that she had to convince ethan she was dead so that the entity would ALSO be convinced she was dead, and she would therefore not factor into it's plan. i think it's something along the lines of, grace and tapeesa would've died out on the ice if she hadn't showed up -- remember when ethan comes out of the Future-Telling Computer God Sarcophagus and weirdly warns grace to "stay off the ice" even though if she had, he'd've been dead for sure? that's why that happened; the entity didn't factor in ilsa's return.
anyway the plan-as-stated for the finale is the same, but luther and ilsa are now there. kittredge and briggs still fuck things up in the same way and benji still gets shot, but it breaks down like this:
grace, ilsa, and benji go to the server room. ilsa takes over the bit with the makeshift operation on benji, which doesn't have Quite the same impact as paris doing it but hey, the first time ilsa ever met benji she shot at him and now she's saving his life, that's also really good. and in general its characters we've known for longer and have more meaningful connections with than paris. nothing changes for grace though, she's perfect.
luther replaces theo with the bomb. this makes sense because defusing bombs is. a thing he can do. but ALSO we can still keep most of the dialogue i like that was cut because we didn't have luther's death scene. he just says the "what are we gonna do, retire?" stuff to donloe and tapeesa instead.
theo and paris now follow after ethan and gabriel. the plane scene still happens mostly unchanged because it's rad as fuck, but the goal this time is more to down gabriel. both he and ethan make it to the ground safely, but ethan still has the podkova and gabriel still has the pill. paris and theo catch up to them in the jeep while the two of them are doing some badass extended hand to hand combat sequence. ethan manages to connect the pill and the podkova, but is Grievously Wounded by gabriel right as theo and paris show up. gabriel is about to escape, and paris tries to fire a shot at him. as in the movie, she would've hit, but she's out of bullets. theo hands her his gun, so he can actually complete his arc about when doing the "wrong thing" can be morally justified, and she finishes the job and gets the satisfaction of acutally getting to see gabriel die.
ethan's dying, but he does get to hear that he saved Literally Everyone AND his team survived because of him. this is a direct inversion of the inciting incident of the first movie, wherein his whole team dies EXCEPT him, and we've been primed to remember that because of the bit with the entity briefing room now in the beginning of the movie. he sees jim phelps show up and tell him he did a good job. it's not jim, of course, it's actually briggs, but ethan's hallucinating the father over the son. jim was evil in the end, sure, but he was also ethan's mentor. he sees the rest of his original team too, not the old versions from the entity's reality, but young, like they were when they died, waiting for him just up the hill. he'll be with them soon.
we end basically the same way, with the final team being team leader benji with ilsa, luther, paris, theo, grace, donloe, tapeesa. yay.
tbh i love hear me outs but i also love the opposite of hear me outs where it’s like nearly everyone thinks they’re fuckable except you
do you ever see someone get so far into fanon of their favorite character that they forget the core conceit of that character
put that woman into a Situation now. i'm serious. drop that sad whiteboy you've been chewing on for the last three hours and just try chewing on the Woman. it's so much better out here. the world is beautiful. you are putting yourself in a cage. take my hand and come with me. put that woman into a Situation
this is what the inside of my brain looks like at all times
june rouclere + looking to the left
if i were hired to make polyponies canon in nysm4 i literally wouldn't even have them kiss btw. i would have a single shot of their jury-rigged industrial dish pit sink shower at meltzer's bagels and then imply they all share the same stick of old spice deoderant. and the people who know would know.
Time to clean the blorbo! Pick an action
gently run a lintroller over them
steam clean
handwash only
machine wash hot, longest cycle
use a power washer
sandblast them
let them stay filthy
other
plz reblog for sampo size
so i've already discussed the decor, the stuff in the fridge, and the number of chairs: let's talk about perhaps the most baffling part of the ponies' hideout -- the overabundance of light fixtures.
for my own sanity, i only counted lights inside the loft that were turned on and that weren't holograms. as we'll see, that's plenty.
i'm not gonna go over every light one by one. there are simply too many. i labelled 23 in this shot alone, and that's not even all of them because some are counted in alternate angles. the only one that's mostly out of frame here is #18, which is the neon rainbow above the bedroom.
#16 and #20 both have multiple bulbs, but i'm counting them as one each because string lights count as one.
#31 is a lamp that's just out of frame; because of bosco walking past it's hard to get them all visible in one shot. #32 is a large corner lamp june is blocking. #29 is a weird piece of...artwork? but it lights up, so on the list it goes.
#34-35, #36-37, and #38-39 are matched sets. their doubles are just out of frame. the workbench needs a lot of light, which makes sense. #44, the traffic cone with string lights on it, less so. i debated putting #40 on, because we can't see what it is, but it DOES appear to be a separate light source and not a hologram.
i didn't count the fridge, because it has a function other than casting light. #56 is behind bosco's head. #50-52 are paper lanterns that they apparently only put out at night, because they're replaced with a floor pouf in the daytime. please also note #48, the gamer rgbs.
last few here not counted in other shots, the lights in the bedroom and one just out of frame that you're gonna have to trust me is there and wasn't counted in the first angle. for a total of 59 lights, all of which have apparently been on all night, along with the holograms.
24 alone are lamps. i know they're not paying for electricity themselves, but isn't that kind of worse that nobody has noticed? the lighting in this movie is so crazy; 59 lights in one room and it's STILL so dim and muddy-looking. but hey, they tried.
i'm adopting jenny abracadabra and ryan aura as my new nysm ocs honestly
WATCHED NOW YOU SEE ME FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME AND DYLAN’S REAL NAME IS MARK ???? WTF
“Shrike is survived by his wife, Amelia, and his son, Mark.”
a few other things i find interesting:
lionel got his start in cardistry -- i'm willing to bet that's why it's one of atlas's specialties.
the article below seems to say something along the lines of "was thaddeus bradley culpable?" which it's just. interesting to me fingers were being pointed in his direction right off the bat, but it makes sense.
they interviewed a magician-contortionist named jenny abracadabra and frankly i'm obsessed with her branding. bring back jenny abracadabra for nysm4
the other magician they interviewed is a mentalist named ryan...something starting with a. i think maybe ryan aura? which is also a very funny name. ryan a is named as a "self-proclaimed follower of shrike" which implies to me he could be a member of the eye.
choosing to believe shrike is a stage name if only because mark shrike sounds dumb. mark rhodes, however...
serra has already covered that j daniel atlas has a lot of chairs for a man who lives alone. we have established he's very odd for this.
now, as the resident ponies historian, i felt it was my duty to follow up with the Official Meltzer's Bagels Chair Audit. since we're talking about three people here, it's a bit less weird that they have more seating options, but also...it's not like they have other friends?
already off to a weird start. i have no beef with chair #2, seems to work for the sewing/makeup area. chair #1, however, seems to be way too low to be useable for that vanity counter. chair #3 is just sort of...up against a pillar. a little too far out of the way to be in that sofa/living room area and the least comfortable option there by far. no idea as to its purpose.
(in between chairs 1 and 2 is something that MAY be a black stool, but it could also be something stacked on top of a box, so i didn't mark it.)
#4 and #8 we'll give a pass as to be reasonable. not sure why you'd hang out in that corner in particular but i like those swingy chairs, and 8 is a normal desk chair at a desk. #5-7 though...what the hell are those. they look like waiting room chairs, and they're stuck together like atlas's weird wooden kitchen chairs.
...there ARE three of them though. do you think they ever sit together on it in a row.
#9 i'm not ENTIRELY convinced is a chair, it looks so small. but unlike the potential-thing-stacked-on-a-box in the last shot, i have no idea what else it could BE.
#10 is the chair for the sewing machine. not particularly comfortable-looking, but reasonable.
#11-14 are the kitchen island chairs, once again reasonable. one more than they'd really need, but then again chairs like that usually come in pairs or fours. #15 is a cool scandi-esque recliner that i couldn't get any better shots of but i kinda want one.
there's better shots of their couches later but i had already put the numbers on this one. these are all fine. kind of a lot again for three people (especially considering there's two other armchairs the ponies are covering up in this shot), but fine. the pattern on #18 is pretty ugly imo but we only see it in one daytime shot.
#19 gamer chair....i wish i could see in that back corner so bad but we'll have to leave the Sick Gamer Setup to our imaginations.
we've already counted this couch and armchair but i want to be thorough, so we're counting the stool for the drumset as #20. i could be pedantic and count that floor pouf but i will restrain myself.
last chair. #21 seems comfy and i'm not against it, but they have three armchairs and 2 sofas (and one weird lonely chair against a pillar) in this area alone. seems excessive BUT at least now it's a great place for 8 people to hang out and plan some more heists <3 perhaps at the end of the day, they were just thinking ahead.
btw rewatching the missions impossible in order right now and the way ethan is so happy with his team in the first movie fucking kills me man. he will have a team he loves that much again but he will NEVER be that carefree about them. ever.
HE CAN NEVER GO BACK OK!!!!
REBECCA FERGUSON as ILSA FAUST
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (2015) Dir. Christopher McQuarrie
