Letters to Tate

Finding Hope and Healing...my heart to the little bug who made me a momma

[a-joyfuljourney]

[kushandwizdom]

Loving yourself is the most fulfilling, beautiful love that life has to offer. Unfortunately, everyone is looking to love someone else first

Reyna Biddy (via kushandwizdom)

[sheholdsyoucaptivated]

If I had a nickel for every time I said I was going to get my shit together and then proceeded to not get my shit together, I wouldn’t even need to get my shit together because I’d be rich af

[awesome-picz]

Animals That Love Warmth More Than Anything.

[scphotodesign]

[relaxs]

[unique-is-not-for-sale]

[chronically-kyle]

Choose recovery. <3

[haiezd]

Reblog if you want anonymous questions.

[frequenseas]

I didn’t get over it, but I got used to it.

Story of my life. (via ranjhana)

story of my liiiiiiiife

(via nicholaiplusone)

[letterstoleia]

#Leia #3years #pregnancyloss

[theprimroseproject-deactivated2]

The death of your child is the worst thing that can happen to a person, yet most feel educated enough to advise, to criticise, to lend their words of wisdom when they don’t know the first thing about it. The soul destroying agony of your child dying is only truly known and understood by those who have endured it. Whatever you imagine it might be like to have your child die, multiply that by about a trillion and you’re probably not even close.

Samantha Hayward (via theprimroseproject)

[words-of-emotion]

[letterstotate]

When people say the words "you are not a mom" it pierces my heart with such ferocity that I just want to lash out or disappear. I am a mother, I held life inside my womb. I had to experience the death of my unborn child. I live with the pain everyday of not having my baby here. I see pregnant women and still remember the days so vividly as my body contracted and delivered my baby. I remember the constant bleeding. The little bits of my son's body that was beginning to form. The pain so unimaginable as my body worked to deliver. The days and weeks and months that followed. The heartbreak of death on an 18 year old who was all alone with no support. I wanted to die. Until you have lost a child or experienced a great deal of loss don't tell a bereaved mother that she is not a mother. I am more of a mother than you will ever be.

[acejokerace]

[caffeinatedcrafting]

Who says you need to order carry out for fried rice?

Ingredients:

1/2 Cup brown whole grain rice

Onion, Diced

Carrots, Diced

1 Egg

Olive Oil

Soy Sauce

Vinegar

Instructions:

Steam Rice for 45 min, add a little bit of vinegar with the water to make sticky

Dice veggies, throw  into pan with oil

Throw on rice and cake down

Cook for 4-5 min on medium-high heat

Flip/Mix Rice

Cook for another 4-5 min

Move the rice over for the scrambled egg, dice and mix as the egg cooks

Throw on soy sauce, let simmer for ~30-45 seconds

Eat :3

[the-teen-age-rage-deactivated20]

I want to hold my baby. But I can’t. And I never will.

[letterstotate]

About me

To start off I actually have two tumblrs. I made the first one and it's reblogs and random bits of my life. One day I came across my journals I wrote in shortly after I miscarried. So I made a second tumblr and copied the majority of those letter into this blog. I also reblog about miscarriage. I'll start from before I got pregnant to give a little of my background. I was sexually abused from 9-13 by someone I knew, the older I got the worse things happened. At age 14 I was raped by another guy. These things happening didn't set me up well mentally. At 15 I started self harming and struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression. I had no self worth and gave myself to so many different guys. That was my life for awhile, I slept around with guys I know didn't value me. I was depressed. I wanted to die. Then I met Matt when I was 18, we had only slept together 3 times when I found out I was pregnant. He wasn't supportive and I got kicked out of my parents house and all around it was a really bad situation. Even though I was scared and worried I loved my baby. My sweet bug. I miscarried at the end of my first trimester. It was traumatizing. First having no support during my pregnancy, then miscarrying and dealing with doctors who told me I was so young and it was probably better that way. My depression hit even harder after that. I'm 22 now, I've been in counseling off and on for the sexual abuse and I am still working though the grief of my son. Some days are still really hard. I cry myself to sleep and think about him. Things are getting better and my breakdowns aren't as often. I still miss my baby more than words could ever express. Some people just don't get it. So that's really what this tumblr is about. If you want my other one just send me a message and I'll reply.