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@lettingtherosegrow
Niall and Shawn Mendes on stage in London - 03/01
What to Do When You Find Yourself Obsessing over Stats
A guide from someone who’s been there.
The age of social media has bred have bred a monster inside of us: the numbers game. Nothing is exempt from this, especially not fandom. It’s something a lot of us struggle with to a varying degree. I know I did. A lot.
So, if you find yourself compulsively checking your notifications or your stats, comparing yourself to the Big Name Fans or even your friends, or just generally feel shittier after scrolling through Tumblr, I’ve got one piece of advice for you, and it’s not easy, but it is simple:
Step away.
If you want to stop the numbers game/the comparison game/etc, the best thing you can do for yourself is log out of the platform that’s consuming you (e.g. Tumblr, AO3, Instagram, Reddit, what-have-you) and step away. Not forever, but definitely for a little while.
In my own experience with this, it was Instagram. I got so obsessed with numbers and engagement that I found myself incessantly checking the app, comparing myself to my friends, performing my own damn life so I could produce more, more, more like I was some sort of influencer instead of just a normal person on the app. And it was exhausting, anxiety-inducing, and absolutely shit on my mental health.
So, I deleted the app off my phone for two months. I won’t lie, the first two weeks were absolute hell. I found myself clicking the space on my phone where Instagram used to live constantly. I got anxiety over missing out on something, over whether or not people cared or even noticed that I was gone, on whether I was missing comments or new follows.
Those two months taught me two hard truths that I carry with me always:
1. No one notices when you’re gone. I promise. No one will notice if you stop posting, if you leave that server, if you stop reblogging their content. Everyone has so much content flooding their screens all the time, that the absence of yours will not be felt. This was a bitter fucking pill for me to swallow, let me tell you that, but once I did, it’s the thing that set me free. I know it sounds nihilistic, but think about it: if no one notices and no one really cares, you’re free. You can post as much or as little as you want, take a break, leave completely, and most of all: live your fucking life without the anxiety that you owe your followers engagement hanging over your head.
2. You are not a brand. You are not an aesthetic. Your life is not a performance. The day I knew I had a problem is the day the words, “I can’t do that, that’s not my brand.” left my mouth. Social media has taught us to jam ourselves into a digestible little box for mass consumption. Don’t do that. You’re a person with contradictions and complexities. Post what you like, make what you like, and don’t worry about whether or not it’ll be the piece that rockets you into wider recognition.
Trust me I know, I know that what I’m telling you is soul-wrenchingly difficult. I’ve been there. I lived through it. (And my DMs are always open if you find yourself struggling with stat-obsession and social media anxiety and want to break out of the cycle.) So, please trust me when I tell you that if you have the compulsion to check your stats or notifications constantly, you need (and deserve) a break.
I’m not telling you to stop creating. You don’t need to engage in fandom to create. In fact, I encourage you to keep creating. I have a feeling you’ll rekindle that love of the creation process that tends to get snuffed out in the face of stats.
And whenever you’re ready, come back. (And if you’re never ready, that’s okay, too.) I can’t say you’ll wake up one day intrinsically knowing you’re ready to re-download Tumblr, but in my own experience, two months was when I felt confident I could get back on Instagram without falling into the engagement trap again. And it was. I approach the app (and social media in general) with a much healthier mindset and don’t feel that comparison devil poisoning my mind anymore. And if I do recognize that voice in my mind cropping up again (because just like anything, the risk for a spiral is always there), I hide the app deep in a folder and step away for a few days. It always works.
There is no joy in the numbers game. Even if, by some grace, you become a Big Name Fan, it will never be enough—you’ll always wonder why your most recent work didn’t do as well as the last one, you’ll always have someone else to compare yourself too, you’ll always freak out when your followers/subscriber count drops. When you’re deep in the numbers game, no amount of engagement will ever be enough. The best thing you can do for yourself is break the cycle now so you can approach fandom/social media/what-have-you with a healthier mindset.
So, go forth, log off, and re-discover your joy 💖
“Even if, by some grace, you become a Big Name Fan, it will never be enough—you’ll always wonder why your most recent work didn’t do as well as the last one, you’ll always have someone else to compare yourself too, you’ll always freak out when your followers/subscriber count drops. When you’re deep in the numbers game, no amount of engagement will ever be enough. The best thing you can do for yourself is break the cycle now so you can approach fandom/social media/what-have-you with a healthier mindset.”
idea: scene with two characters eagerly stripping each other clearly about to bone, but they keep getting interrupted by finding carefully concealed weapons in each other’s clothing, so they keep just unholstering, revealing and unstrapping increasingly ludicrous amounts of hidden guns and knives as the clothes come off, and it’s lowkey killing the mood a little
Alternatively: it's not killing the mood at all but it's totally making both of them giggle like they're twelve and possibly get lowkey competitive in a subconscious way about who has the most to drop.
The more that I think of it the more I'm seeing the incredible intimacy of letting someone know where you keep your backup knife.
Like my god, the trust involved in letting someone undress you and learn your secrets instead of popping into the bathroom to change where they can't see and hiding all your weapons under the sink
...Oh
second alternative: you go to hide all your weapons under the sink but there’s already a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the sink.
awkward
It’s not that there’s already a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the sink that makes it awkward so much as that there’s so many weapons hidden underneath the sink that they fall out of the cabinet with the unmistakable sound of a knife-alanche, and then the other person comes in like “I can explain!” and you’re just dead-ass standing there with your own armload of weapons like “I can also explain.”
Married version is shoving your hand in your partner’s clothes when you’re out of weapons because you KNOW where their spare is. Or wearing a weapon in a spot you can’t draw from yourself because its now spare storage for your spouse’s weapons.
Every single one of you is a genius
Shawn on the beach in Miami yesterday (January 6th, 2022) Part 2
Roomies
A/N: my second fic ever!! i love this one and it’s soft as HELL. reblog, like, respond! whatever your heart desired, just enjoy it! another very special thank you to @lonelyreputation for helping edit this. i use too many commas sometimes
prompt: “You can admit that you’re hurting. It’s okay to not be okay.”
warnings: none ♡ word count: 1046
masterlist
One Shots, Imagines and Fan Fictions.
CELEBRITIES EDITION.
last update: 30.03.20
if you don’t want to be listed send me a message and i will remove you.
new (n)
CHARACTER MASTERLIST
Shawn Mendes.
higher love | smut
pretty girl | smut
gold digger | agnst
harvard | smut
his favorite view | smut
friends come over | smut
please | smut
relax | smut
library | smut
polished | smut
the tiktok challenge | fluff
marry me | fluff
prove it | smut
who’d you rather | fluff
wake up call | smut
don’t say my name | smut
hands | smut
do you have a question for me? | fluff
i wanna taste you first | smut
berry kiss | fluff
ready | fluff
right there | smut
old bedroom | smut
honey | agnst, fluff (n)
Tom Hiddleston.
favorites | fluff
rules | fluff
tear me up | smut
can’t sleep | fluff
cockwarming | smut
yes, sir | smut
heart in my hands | fluff
if i didn´t have you | fluff
happy birthday! | fluff
the kiss that broke the internet | smut, fluff
drunken truth ot what did i do? | smut
cooking | smut
red | smut
dance with me | fluff
traffic | smut
ouch! | fluff
beautiful boy | fluff
interview | fluff
late to the party | smut
werid like that | fluff
slow hands | smut
take care of her and i’ll take care of you | smut
insomnia | smut
fuck it, let the whole world know | smut
so, you missed me? | smut
roaming hands | smut (n)
Tom Holland.
one simple rule | smut
overstimulation | smut
no knock knocks | smut
too hot or too cold | smut
web shooter | smut
spill your guts | fluff
late night dreams | smut
interrutions | smut
keep it hidden | fluff, agnst
pretty as a polaroid picture | smut
try again | smut
unexpected | fluff, smut
pure euphoria | smut
dating | fluff
hugs | fluff
video games | smut
do you also notice? | fluff
something new | smut
we’ve got chemistry | smut
two-a-days | smut
little things | fluff
sneaky | smut
thigh riding | smut
truth or dare | smut
no bottoms | smut
no bottoms pt.2 | smut
how to touch yourself | smut
watching porn | smut
eating you out like a buffet | smut
clit pierced | smut
buzz cut | smut
how to pleasure you | smut
when two becomes three | smut
can´t look away | smut
through the phone | smut
adjoining hotel room | smut
surprises | smut
sitting on tom´s face | smut
running in circles | fluff, smut
jeans and leather | smut
spill your guts or fill your guts | fluff
spill your guts or fill your guts pt.2 | smut
riding | smut
irreconcilable differences | smut
treatin’ you right | smut
the first taste | smut
overstimulation | smut
rinse and spin | smut
girls can be horny too | smut
unlocked | smut
strip pong | smut
you can bet on it | smut
pour it out | fluff
i’ll be your good girl | smut
nap date | fluff
why it’s fun to be a tease | smut
bad mood | smut
suck | smut
lights up | smut
watermelon sugar | smut
reflection | smut
teasing | smut
thirsty tweets | fluff
dirty shirley | fluff
siren | smut (n)
stuck in quarantine | smut (n)
insta live | fluff (n)
mugshot | fluff (n)
tom taking a break | smut (n)
you bent over him | smut (n)
getting caught in quarentine | smut (n)
low cut top | smut (n)
it’s thirst tweets | fluff (n)
the choices we make | agnst (n)
tom fingering | smut (n)
risky insta live | smut (n)
pregnant surprise | fluff (n)
being vegetarian | fluff (n)
so god really is a woman | smut (n)
car crash | agnst (n)
cum for me | smut (n)
frat boy | smut (n)
overstimulation with tom | smut (n)
addicted | smut (n)
piece of art | smut (n)
i’m sorry | fluff (n)
tease | smut, fluff (n)
leaked | fluff (n)
LONDON BOY | fluff, agnst, smut (n)
vlog 6 | smut, fluff (n)
prosecco courage | smut (n)
hands up | fluff (n)
libido max | smut (n)
play fighting | smut (n)
tom’s girlfriend | smut (n)
vibrator | smut (n)
spanish | fluff (n)
eating you out during lessons | smut (n)
open your eyes | smut (n)
sweater on | smut (n)
quarantine anniversary | fluff (n)
sunset | fluff (n)
name on it | smut (n)
so much hate | fluff (n)
good girl | smut (n)
all i need | smut (n)
long days | smut (n)
good morning | smut (n)
friends with benefits | smut (n)
fuck the movies | smut (n)
tom’s angel | smut (n)
spring dress | smut (n)
secret party | smut (n)
this is awkward | smut (n)
daddy | smut (n)
minor inconvenience | smut (n)
don’t tease me | smut (n)
had to recover | smut (n)
the boys are sleeping | smut (n)
how i look on you | smut (n)
Sebastian Stan.
convince me | smut
shameless | smut
I like it | smut
one night | smut
shut up and sleep with me | smut
boss troubles | smut
pregnancy prank | fluff
asleep | smut
manners pt,3 | smut
call out my name | smut
exposed | smut
on the wooden desk | smut
body electric | smut
romanian fun | fluff
behind closed doors | smut
wired autocomplete interview | fluff
another interview | fluff
bored | fluff
that’s the icing in the cake | fluff
îți place asta | smut
round the block | smut
tătic | smut
îngerul său | smut
quiet | smut
surprises | smut
too long | smut
teacher’s pet | smut
mob!seb | smut
4am workout | smut
the back of the jaguar | smut
listen to my voice | fluff
kissing | fluff
dating | fluff
piggy back ride | fluff
dark paradise | smut
dark paradise pt.2 | smut
bloopers and interviews | fluff, agnst
panel | fluff
men’s health | smut
i think he knows | smut
friendly favour | smut
secret kink | smut
‘sebastian’ instead of 'bucky’ | smut
actress | fluff (n)
thank god it’s ending, and we’re beginning | fluff, agnst (n)
uncertain | smut (n)
unscripted | fluff (n)
set | fluff (n)
emergency | fluff (n)
bedtime stories | fluff (n)
losing you | agnst (n)
stuff bunny | smut (n)
baby fever | fluff, smut (n)
act my age | fluff (n)
soft | smut, fluff (n)
morning sickness | fluff (n)
daddy’s pretty girl | smut (n)
wedding interviews | fluff (n)
silk | smut (n)
reading thirst tweets | fluff (n)
soft mornings | fluff (n)
i’ve always loved you | fluff (n)
Chris Evans.
velvet love | fluff
the perfect man | fluff
the proposal | fluff
the perfect dress | fluff
all about that beard | fluff
sweet dreams | smut
like this? | smut
make me a daddy | smut
taste | smut
something blue | fluff
years in the making | agnst, fluff
rough | smut
daddy | fluff
the best seat | smut
reasonable | smut
24hr trouble | fluff
thirst tweets | fluff
finders keepers | smut
eat out | smut
warm and welcoming | smut
lost focus | smut
eat you better | smut
seeing red | smut
i wanna hear you | smut (n)
the instagram error | fluff (n)
distraction | smut (n)
who ever said anything about makeup? | fluff (n)
touching yourself | smut | (n)
don’t hold back | smut (n)
fuck buddies | smut (n)
the smell after rain | smut (n)
provoked | smut (n)
calmant | smut (n)
mob!chris | smut (n)
Harry Styles.
drunk words, sober thoughts | smut
music video | smut, fluff
stash of vibrators | smut
phone call | smut
relaxing day | smut
hours | smut
new seeds in the melody | smut
just another day while quarentine | smut (n)
i just wanna taste it | smut (n)
wisdom teeth | fluff (n)
break the bed | smut (n)
truth or drink | fluff (n)
bang a gong | smut (n)
early risers | smut, fluff (n)
Ross Lynch.
can’t take my eyes off of you | smut
Joe Keery.
boyfriend | fluff (n)
rough week | smut (n)
Dacre Montgomery.
thank you, daddy | smut (n)
rough hands | smut (n)
let’s try | smut (n)
fanfiction and fun | smut (n)
shirt | fluff (n)
Jake Gyllenhaal.
panic attack | fluff
ready for babies? | fluff
accident | fluff
what do you want? | agnst, fluff
wired autocomplete | fluff
yes, please | smut
in my mouth | smut
surprise, we´re married | fluff
home | smut
chef & baker | smut
horror film | smut
the paparazzi | smut
bath time | smut
interesting interview | fluff
dirty mind | smut
honeymoon | smut
wired autocomplete interview | fluff
love interest | fluff
pillow talk | fluff
dating | fluff
gym time | fluff
masturbating | smut
morning sex | smut
comfort | agnst
catch you | smut
jealous | smut
in front of your bed | smut
riling | smut
feel good | smut
two kings and a queen | smut
soft daddy | smut
sideways | smut (n)
happy little accident | smut
best behavior | smut
man flu | fluff
the risqué subway | smut
you’re doing amazing sweetie | smut
hair pulling | smut
christmas night | smut
squirting | smut
dominant | smut
finals finale | smut
on my mind | smut (n)
gold chain | smut (n)
motivation | smut (n)
Henry Cavill.
cardio | smut
morning sex | smut
partition | smut (n)
first time | smut (n)
hatefuck | smut (n)
back from a run | smut (n)
tv | smut, fluff (n)
thick fingers | smut (n)
talented tongue | smut (n)
Brie Larson.
star wars geek | smut
god is a woman | smut
crazy on you | smut
i fall to pieces | smut
singing in the shower | smut
jedi realness | smut
needy | smut
quarantine day | smut, fluff (n)
interruptions | smut (n)
Avengers Cast.
sleeping beauty | fluff (n)
feeling okay? | fluff (n)
kissedbylove
Top of the List
Summary: You’re a junior in college who spends almost all of your time stuck in either your dorm room or the library until you’re forced to go to a frat party where you meet Shawn, who immediately changes your whole college experience.
Author’s Note: I’m backkkkkk. I am so so excited about this one. This was based off a request I got in like May or something like that basically so insanely long ago and I never got to it because I knew it was going to be long. I kinda went off track with the request too a little bit, but I hope you love it as much as I do. It’s my baby so please be kind (also it’s my birthday so please don’t hurt my feelings too much lol). As always, I love hearing any type of feedback and I love you all x
Word Count: 12.2k
The door of your dorm room slammed open as your roommate rushed inside, frantically throwing her bag onto her bed and rummaging through her closet. You peered over the top of your laptop where you were busy editing an essay you had just finished for a class, watching her distressed state with curious eyes. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” Natalie asked almost breathlessly, settling on a silk, light pink top with a plunging v-neck and a short black skirt.
“Why are you rushing so much? Where are you going?”
You would’ve thought you had grown three heads by the way she looked at you and the way she rolled her eyes when she noticed you were being dead serious made you slightly cave in on yourself in disappointment. “How do you not know what’s going on tonight? Sigma Alpha Epsilon is throwing another one of their huge parties, it’s all everyone has been talking about for the past two weeks.”
“I don’t know, must’ve just gone over my head,” you mumbled, feeling a little self-conscious about your lack of knowledge on what was going on in the social life of your campus. Ninety-nine percent of the time your head was stuck in a book or hunched over your laptop doing homework in the library so it really shouldn’t have been a surprise that this party was nowhere on your radar.
“Well now you know, so you’re going with me. Chop chop you’ve got to get dressed.”
“HA, you think I’m going to a party?”
She raised an eyebrow at you, silently challenging you to disagree with her, “Um, yes you are. Connor invited me which means I’m inviting you because he invites like 20 girls and I don’t want to be stuck alone all night.”
“You’re not going to be alone all night,” you sighed, closing your laptop before swinging your legs off the side of the bed, “You’re popular enough on campus that you’ll be able to find someone to hang out there with if I’m not there.”
“I know, but it’d be more fun if you were there with me. Pleaseeeeeee.” Natalie pulled out her best puppy dog eyes on you, her bottom lip jutting out to make her face look more innocent, “I’ll even do your makeup and hair for you….and you can borrow some of my clothes!”
“What, are my clothes not good enough or something?”
“They are! They’re just a little too, what’s the word I’m looking for, conservative for a party. You need something a little bit scandalous, you know? Gotta give the boys a little something something.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you before letting out a huff of annoyance and getting up to grab your hand to pull you off of the bed, “Come on, no excuses. Let’s get you ready for tonight.”
Weiterlesen
The Fame Game (Part Four) || Tom Holland
Summary ↠ You’re on your way to London, and Tom really doesn’t know how he feels about it.
Warnings ↠ Bad language, poor decisions, brief (fictional !!) character death, we’re being competitive but it’s kinda cute, reckless rose-buying, a bit of a… steamy kiss. Hmm.
Word count ↠ 4.2k
A/N ↠ Ahhh… And so it begins… You guys really blew up at the last part and I find that amusing because the angst hasn’t even started yet !! Hahahaha. Just wait… Anyway !!! I got the idea for a specific scene in this part back when I was planning the series, and I was so in love with the concept that the promise of being able to write it literally motivated me to write the 20k that came before it lmao. I hope you’ll like it! Let me know what you’re thinking :D
Series masterpost + taglist can be found in my pinned post! / Y/F/N - your film’s name.
FOUR: Heartache on the Big Screen (T)
Tom thinks he’s a pretty good fake boyfriend, until he almost fucks it all up on live TV.
Weiterlesen
love it so much!! so excited for the next part omg
V Man (+more)
Wouldn’t it?
Blacklivesmatter.carrd.co
#pascalcampion
This shook me to my core
This was so lovely.
But it’s worth mentioning that the second I saw the panel with the cop, my heart dropped, and it’s a shame that this is the initial reaction that I have towards cops interacting with POC
The fact that the notes are filled with non-Black people who suddenly got worried when they saw the cop ….. in an illustrated story.
Now try imagining how hard it is irl for Black mothers, and Black people in general. Each encounter with the police could end with our death, even if we did absolutely nothing wrong.
I think most of us deal with it—bc let’s face it, we have no other choice—but I’d be lying if I said that every single time I come into close proximity to the police, somewhere in the back of my mind there wasn’t always the thought: “what if …”
“what if today is the day” … “what if this cop had a bad morning” … “what if this cop doesn’t like black people” … “what if he thinks my phone is a gun” … “what if he thinks I’m acting suspicious” … “what if he needs to fill a quota” … “what if he mistakes me for some nondescript black man but I fit the description anyway” … “what if my car insurance payment didn’t go through and I don’t know about it” … “what if I have a taillight out” …. “what if he thinks I have a bad attitude” … “what if it was a rough day for me and I do have a bad attitude” … “what if there’s not even any cops around but a white person thinks I look out of place” … what if what if what if
Obviously I cannot speak for everyone who is Black, but these thoughts flash through my mind every single time I see a cop. Every time. Maybe it only takes a microsecond, but it’s always there. Always.
LOL. I know we may make it look easy. But yeah, it’s still there.
And even though I’m very healthy and I manage to … adapt(?) to those fears, I figure that kind of constant on/off stress has gotta be taking some kind of toll on me, right? On Black people in general. It’s like perpetually unexpected games of Russian roulette. Or maybe like the Spanish Inquisition. (No one ever expects it).
Sometimes I wonder if white people understand the constant extra calculations that Black people are doing continuously as we’re out and about. Calculations for any contingency encounter with the police. Or with some white person who might call the police because they’ve mistaken my melancholy mood for “suspicious” behavior. Calculations that white people don’t ever need to do. At least, not because of simply being in the general proximity of the police.
Nice to see that some people “get” it.
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Egypt: 762-1602
Estonia: 6-558-088
Finland: 040-5032199
France: 01-45-39-4000
Germany: 0800-181-0721
Greece: 1018
Guatemala: 502-234-1239
Holland: 0900-0767
Honduras: 504-237-3623
Hungary: 06-80-820-111
Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
Israel: 09-8892333
Italy: 06-705-4444
Japan: 3-5286-9090
Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
Malaysia: 03-756-8144
(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
Mexico: 525-510-2550
Netherlands: 0900-0767
New Zealand: 4-473-9739
New Guinea: 675-326-0011
Nicaragua: 505-268-6171
Norway: 47-815-33-300
Philippines: 02-896-9191
Poland: 52-70-000
Portugal: 239-72-10-10
Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
Spain: 91-459-00-50
South Africa: 0861-322-322
South Korea: 2-715-8600
Sweden: 031-711-2400
Switzerland: 143
Taiwan: 0800-788-995
Thailand: 02-249-9977
Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800
Ukraine: 0487-327715
(Source)