i was training a young person at work, and she referred to sexual assault as "SA" out loud, and i immediately was like, "no, it's sexual assault, call it what it is," bc idgaf if the algorithm overlords have taught y'all that you should fear direct language, how tf do any of you expect to ever address real issues with any amount of seriousness if you can't even say the words? imagine an advocate looking a sexual assault survivor in the eyes and asking "did he grape you?" it's absolutely fucking absurd, but these young interns and new hires are coming into an environment where we deal with survivors of all different kinds of abuse, and they're coming with the mindset that the words are as bad as the actions, and that makes them shitty at the job and look juvenile af
i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience
say the fucking words, guys. just say the goddamn words before i go insane!!!
This this this this this.
There are words some people should not say. Slurs that most folks agree on. Words that have been used to denigrate, other, harm. Some of them may even be considered reclaimed. Usable only by the group that ostensibly bears the label, as it were.
N-word, R-word. I’m sure there are others but you get the point.
Even they shouldn’t be “censored” so much as there are certain people who should recognize that if they use them in certain contexts, people are definitely gonna judge (and rightly so).
But.
Words (and phrases) like: die, kill, rape, murder, assault, sexual assault, child sexual abuse, suicide, forced sexual contact, grope, self-harm, cutting, fondle, groom, and all others like them, describing the acts or states themselves…
They are words that mean awful things. Traumatic things. Things that people have done to themselves or others. Things that hurt.
But the words themselves are not used to hurt, harm, or other, the way that slurs are.
Stop hindering clear, respectful communication in the name of being sensitive. You’re not being sensitive. You’re being a scared little baby, afraid that people will cancel you.
You might fuck up, sure. But if you’re kind and careful and listen to the people whose toes you step on, you are far more likely to receive grace, and learn from your mistakes.
Don’t let a bunch of social media bullshit take communication from you because you’re worried that saying the word “rape” will cause someone to drop dead.
(Also: Arguments in bad faith about subtle nuance or false equivalence are just Richard Maneuvers and won’t be tolerated. You can get fucked.)
OP I’m curious, did the young person swallow their own face in shock or manage to take the feedback?



















