I am antagonistic towards MBAs
i don't do bad sauce passes
almost home

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

JBB: An Artblog!

Love Begins
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Origami Around
$LAYYYTER
taylor price

#extradirty
Keni
ojovivo
art blog(derogatory)
🪼
One Nice Bug Per Day

Product Placement
DEAR READER
Jules of Nature
cherry valley forever

seen from T1

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@lettucehouse
I am antagonistic towards MBAs
Are all my problems just related to my sleep?
I wonder if I actually just start tweeting if that’ll fix my twitter feed. Maybe it’s time to move away from the privacy of tumblr and into the public claws of musk
I’m hella over the internet music sound
This specific train I’m on is strangely silent.
Is it just the perfect temperature outside so that no heating or cooling is blowing? Or something else? Will have to listen tomorrow
The coconut yogurt market is truly a marvel right now
Both times I’ve been to the doctor this week I’ve seen a couple cuddling in the waiting room
Signs of spring
Robin
Man in shorts
Whiff of santal 33
NBA has the most beautiful players
NBA yaoi when
Am I manic, ovulating or really happy???
Every weekend I’ve been putting myself through caffeine withdrawal. All inputs lead to sleep now
NBA has the most beautiful players
I get gender envy from Reese in Malcolm in the Middle
my 1am TikTok feed is all videos about the warning signs of psychosis…
Haven’t felt this discombobulated in years
Head feels foggy. Going to go buy a $15 bar of chocolate and do some cardio. Maybe I needed the evil to function
My evil spirit has dissipated I think
There’s really not much I want to say
Some final meditations on grief.
At times I’ve felt that I never want to move on. The feeling of grief is familiar. Today, it is slowly being picked up, like dried leaves on pavement stirring from the first chill of fall.
Whisked away, making space for a new normal.
There’s a weight that’s being lifted from my heart, but a new feeling of sadness too. Grief is a reminder that I still miss life before grief. What am I without you? When will stars align again to feel hands cupping my heart? Ultimately, I know your fingerprints linger.
There’s not much I regret. Only that you didn’t get to experience this version of me. Yet. Would this version of me even exist without you? Would you even care to experience it?
I don’t know.
I feel that I have lived a thousand lives since things ended. I only have you to thank really. To be loved is to be changed, but also to love is to change. The love I had for you is the reason I am able to see life like this now.
The channels in the world I’m tuned into would not be the same.
I can remember the photographs you took that looked just how ambient music sounds. I loved every second of it.
That doesn’t mean I was fully there.
Did I really love you or just the idea of you?
I don’t know if we can be friends but there are days that I wish we could find a new dynamic.
I think we still make a wonderful platonic pair.
Making space for newness.
I find people who match so many parts of me everyday. The loneliness I felt with you dissipating. I wanted you to be my everything. Shape you into a box that would never fit. I wanted you to fill the void I felt in my soul.
I’ve not been freed from the unknowing of my own world but I feel more that it is a universe to be discovered, rather than a shape meant to be contained.
Grief is a perpetual scar that may open any day but I cherish this one life I get to experience it. In infinite existences, this one has likely already been opened and sealed millions of times.
And that is wonderful.