#SuperShit

SORRY, I COULDN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUNDS OF THESE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS THAT I’M SPENDING IN KILLING SUPERMAN AND NOW YOU TOO

I have... a job for you.. I can provide you with kryptonite and all the funds you need... I just need you to knock that flying fuck out of the sky... I need you to kill the thing we call the @superman-offical... can you do that?

-@lex-luthor-offical

Mr. Luthor??? Nope none of my beeswax

You would have to pay for transportation fees and equipment

Should be around 60k for equipment plus my skills and 10k just to compensate me moving my entire work station to metropolis

I'm not fitted for a meta assassination

Also you don't have any clauses that can let you kill me for failure right?

I can provide you with any equipment you need, and no... actually *checks contract... scratches out a few lines* now I can't kill you if you fail... but that thing might

Ok i would need a long range gun capable of shooting kryptonite and a way to track the big blues position

This is a bit pricey but worth it

Eh if superman kills me it will just be part of the job

Yeah, yeah, here you go, NOW KILL THAT ALIEN

Alright ..........payment first tho

obviously

Sooooo ......pay me?

I'll get started right after

here

I have... a job for you.. I can provide you with kryptonite and all the funds you need... I just need you to knock that flying fuck out of the sky... I need you to kill the thing we call the @superman-offical... can you do that?

-@lex-luthor-offical

Mr. Luthor??? Nope none of my beeswax

You would have to pay for transportation fees and equipment

Should be around 60k for equipment plus my skills and 10k just to compensate me moving my entire work station to metropolis

I'm not fitted for a meta assassination

Also you don't have any clauses that can let you kill me for failure right?

I can provide you with any equipment you need, and no... actually *checks contract... scratches out a few lines* now I can't kill you if you fail... but that thing might

Ok i would need a long range gun capable of shooting kryptonite and a way to track the big blues position

This is a bit pricey but worth it

Eh if superman kills me it will just be part of the job

Yeah, yeah, here you go, NOW KILL THAT ALIEN

Alright ..........payment first tho

obviously

I have... a job for you.. I can provide you with kryptonite and all the funds you need... I just need you to knock that flying fuck out of the sky... I need you to kill the thing we call the @superman-offical... can you do that?

-@lex-luthor-offical

Mr. Luthor??? Nope none of my beeswax

You would have to pay for transportation fees and equipment

Should be around 60k for equipment plus my skills and 10k just to compensate me moving my entire work station to metropolis

I'm not fitted for a meta assassination

Also you don't have any clauses that can let you kill me for failure right?

I can provide you with any equipment you need, and no... actually *checks contract... scratches out a few lines* now I can't kill you if you fail... but that thing might

Ok i would need a long range gun capable of shooting kryptonite and a way to track the big blues position

This is a bit pricey but worth it

Eh if superman kills me it will just be part of the job

Yeah, yeah, here you go, NOW KILL THAT ALIEN

I have... a job for you.. I can provide you with kryptonite and all the funds you need... I just need you to knock that flying fuck out of the sky... I need you to kill the thing we call the @superman-offical... can you do that?

-@lex-luthor-offical

Mr. Luthor??? Nope none of my beeswax

You would have to pay for transportation fees and equipment

Should be around 60k for equipment plus my skills and 10k just to compensate me moving my entire work station to metropolis

I'm not fitted for a meta assassination

Also you don't have any clauses that can let you kill me for failure right?

I can provide you with any equipment you need, and no... actually *checks contract... scratches out a few lines* now I can't kill you if you fail... but that thing might

@superman-offical

#supershit

#supershit #officalverse

3000s

this is where i sleep at night

@lex-luthor-offical dis you?

Excuse you, I have a hater suite, I'm not a poor

Ur not born rich like that Wayne playboy right? Thats you in the early days lol

Real billionaires gain money by their own effort tbh

My father beat me severely, and Superman made me bald when I was a child, so I built an empire to get away from my father and make Superman bald as well

superman-offical

i did NOT make him bald

Mercy, pull up the tapes.

3000s

this is where i sleep at night

@lex-luthor-offical dis you?

Excuse you, I have a hater suite, I'm not a poor

Ur not born rich like that Wayne playboy right? Thats you in the early days lol

Real billionaires gain money by their own effort tbh

My father beat me severely, and Superman made me bald when I was a child, so I built an empire to get away from my father and make Superman bald as well

3000s

this is where i sleep at night

@lex-luthor-offical dis you?

Excuse you, I have a hater suite, I'm not a poor

clark-kent-offical

Hello! My name's Clark Kent, and I'm a reporter at @the-daily-planet-offical!

One of my coworkers, who has requested to remain anonymous for a reason I don't really understand, had me join.

He/Him is fine!

I'm not too great at social media, so I'm sorry if I do not understand some things :(

OOC:

i got bored and found out no one made clark yet. so. um. I did. YAHOOOOO!

TAG STUFF:

🚜🗞️: in character

✉️: ooc

📝 response: asks !!!

tim-drake-offical

@brucie-wayne-offical @stephanie-brown-offical @nightwing-offical @cassandra-cain-offical @superboy-offical (hey look it’s one of your dads) @redhood-offical @arsenal-offical and whoever else I’m forgetting…

Holy shit there are more of us than I thought..

and at least one you apparently didn't know about

Batman should make me his sugar-daddy instead of Bruce Wayne

#supershit #officalverse

BATMAN DATING BRUCE WAYNE??!!

You see. Headlines like this with no explanation OR evidence get you nowhere. Quite frankly, we here at the Daily Planet are offended that you think we are "worse" than you.

Well, think about, where else does Batman get all his gadgets funding from? and that brooding type, dating a himbo like Brucie, it makes perfect sense!

If we went with theories like this we would publish stuff like "LEX LUTHOR AND SUPERMAN - ENEMIES OR LOVERS?" but... why would we do that?

What about that time Superman wrote "Superman + LL" in the sky in clouds?

There are quite an amount of people BESIDES Luthor with those initials. Our very own Lois Lane comes to mind.

... However you may have a point.

NO IT ISN'T

It isn't Lois or it isn't you?

#Lex Luthor is a tsundere #it's canon

n-no... baka

BATMAN DATING BRUCE WAYNE??!!

You see. Headlines like this with no explanation OR evidence get you nowhere. Quite frankly, we here at the Daily Planet are offended that you think we are "worse" than you.

Well, think about, where else does Batman get all his gadgets funding from? and that brooding type, dating a himbo like Brucie, it makes perfect sense!

If we went with theories like this we would publish stuff like "LEX LUTHOR AND SUPERMAN - ENEMIES OR LOVERS?" but... why would we do that?

What about that time Superman wrote "Superman + LL" in the sky in clouds?

There are quite an amount of people BESIDES Luthor with those initials. Our very own Lois Lane comes to mind.

... However you may have a point.

NO IT ISN'T

superman-offical

hello everyone!

hello...

Metropolis' Lex Luthor of Luthorcorp Has a Photo on his Desk? What IS it?

.... To be honest, we're not quite sure what this thing is.

...nothing hehehe hehehehe HAHAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

what’s the news on the offical war.. (and what side are you on? 🤨). - a curious twink, @twink-offical

What's the war?? I don't remember there being a war?

Ahhh… DON’T ACT SO STUPID!!!!!!! /silly

Hey, I'm not stupid.

Yes, yes…. But still THE WAR!!!!!!!

WHAT WAR- I JUST GOT HERE-

The war against Britain, the government and some stupid superhero…. /silly

Hmm... @superhero-offical, you seen this?

WHAT?????? @supervillain-offical is on our side…. So that decision has been kind of obvious….

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! Huh? What if I'm Hellboy? That makes me the future king of hell! or like Raven!? Hmmmm? I could totallly be from hell! THE HOLY SPIRIT IS LITERALLY THE SIDEKICK OF YOUR TEAMMATE!!!

I Know about the Holy Spirit…. And I don’t know what people you are talking about (ooc: honestly I do not have a clue about any major superhero franchise) but you won’t get me to betray @supervillain-offical !!!!!! WE GO WAY BACK!!!!!!!

A LOT OF PINEAPPLE PIZZA!!!!!!!

supervillain-offical

Oh yes, we go waaaay back! I stole Hell’s pineapple pizza and since then an unbreakable friendship was formed. MUAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Also you’re totally not Hellboy, @superhero-offical you’re too-*shudders* good.

Fuck Screw you! I can be gruff! Grrr and shit!

Well… technically speaking… you are supporting the government….

@supervillain-offical OH GOD COULD IT BE THAT WE ARE ON THE GOOD SIDE HERE?????????

Or is @superhero-offical just annoyingly lawful good…

I'm not lawful good! ummm... fuck da @the-police-offical

Okay… okay… calm down…

AND STOP SUPPORTING @the-offical-government !!!!! Because if you do…. You have to be either comically evil or extremely lawful good…

Or is it just about @supervillain-offical being on our side??????

I DON'T STAND FOR ANYBODY, EXCEPT FOR ME, AND- and, doing good

Okay…. Chaotic good??????! And it is just about @supervillain-offical being on our side, isn’t it…

I mean... are you hurting innocent civilians?

Nope…. We’re only sending geese against the government, stealing salt and butter from Britain to keep the CIA from crossing over AGAIN!!!!! (They’ve done it like nine times already now) and dealing with a very psychotic goose with a gun…

So… just the usual stuff….

*shoots a civilian in the head*

*calls my demons*

Here… drag this one down to hell, just where they belong…

okay, so hear me out here, I have a looooot of money

Ahhhh…. Hmh…. How much would that be?????

32 billion dollars

Kinda meant the other guy…. BUT I’LL TAKE THAT TOO!!!!!!!

*takes your money*

THANK YOU!!!!!!

*disappears in a cloud of… nothing, just a cloud*

FUCK WRONG BLOG

what’s the news on the offical war.. (and what side are you on? 🤨). - a curious twink, @twink-offical

What's the war?? I don't remember there being a war?

Ahhh… DON’T ACT SO STUPID!!!!!!! /silly

Hey, I'm not stupid.

Yes, yes…. But still THE WAR!!!!!!!

WHAT WAR- I JUST GOT HERE-

The war against Britain, the government and some stupid superhero…. /silly

Hmm... @superhero-offical, you seen this?

WHAT?????? @supervillain-offical is on our side…. So that decision has been kind of obvious….

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! Huh? What if I'm Hellboy? That makes me the future king of hell! or like Raven!? Hmmmm? I could totallly be from hell! THE HOLY SPIRIT IS LITERALLY THE SIDEKICK OF YOUR TEAMMATE!!!

I Know about the Holy Spirit…. And I don’t know what people you are talking about (ooc: honestly I do not have a clue about any major superhero franchise) but you won’t get me to betray @supervillain-offical !!!!!! WE GO WAY BACK!!!!!!!

A LOT OF PINEAPPLE PIZZA!!!!!!!

supervillain-offical

Oh yes, we go waaaay back! I stole Hell’s pineapple pizza and since then an unbreakable friendship was formed. MUAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Also you’re totally not Hellboy, @superhero-offical you’re too-*shudders* good.

Fuck Screw you! I can be gruff! Grrr and shit!

Well… technically speaking… you are supporting the government….

@supervillain-offical OH GOD COULD IT BE THAT WE ARE ON THE GOOD SIDE HERE?????????

Or is @superhero-offical just annoyingly lawful good…

I'm not lawful good! ummm... fuck da @the-police-offical

Okay… okay… calm down…

AND STOP SUPPORTING @the-offical-government !!!!! Because if you do…. You have to be either comically evil or extremely lawful good…

Or is it just about @supervillain-offical being on our side??????

I DON'T STAND FOR ANYBODY, EXCEPT FOR ME, AND- and, doing good

Okay…. Chaotic good??????! And it is just about @supervillain-offical being on our side, isn’t it…

I mean... are you hurting innocent civilians?

Nope…. We’re only sending geese against the government, stealing salt and butter from Britain to keep the CIA from crossing over AGAIN!!!!! (They’ve done it like nine times already now) and dealing with a very psychotic goose with a gun…

So… just the usual stuff….

*shoots a civilian in the head*

*calls my demons*

Here… drag this one down to hell, just where they belong…