An Apology || Katsuki Bakugo
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Written for @smexy-goose
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Look, I’m not good at this stuff, okay? I’ve never been good at expressing myself, especially around you. I’m sorry for yesterday, I didn’t mean to snap. You were right to complain about the distance I keep; me snapping at you only seemed to prove that point.
You know better than anyone how I am, how I respond to the people that try to pull me close. I push everyone away. I don’t know why, but I’ve done it for as long as I can remember. I begin to care about someone and turn tail to run like some kind of coward. You’re my partner and yet I treat you like all the other extras.
I love you; I know you know that, but I needed to say it. I don’t say it nearly enough. I try to express it in the little things, the lingering touches or the nights I stay up waiting for you to return from work. But I know that’s not enough.
So, I’m writing you this, I’m hoping this letter finally lets me get all this off my chest. I hope it finally makes you understand how much I care for you. Words have never been my forte, so I can only pray this comes across. Just let it be known that if you show this to anyone, I will blast your ass so high into the sky that even Uraraka won’t be able to get you down… that might have been a little much for a love letter, but I’m not exactly the type to write these.
I liked you in high school. I’m sure you know that, considering we started dating in our last year. What you don’t know… is that I liked you during our first year. All those fights and arguments, well, that was me trying to push the feelings away – as I seem to still be doing. It wasn’t until that fateful night that you made the first move that I stopped the fight and let myself fall. I fell hard and fast, mild interest turned into infatuation faster than I could have ever imagined. Soon my every thought was encompassed by you.
Things only spiralled further when we began working together, my feelings developed from teenage infatuation to genuine love, or at least what I’ve always thought it to be. You’ve been a constant in my life, someone who’s grown and matured by my side; you’re someone I could never hope to forget. I’ve always heard that love is when you can’t live without someone, but I don’t believe in that.
As much as I hate to say it, I could live without you, much like you could live without me. You don’t complete me, but you make me so much better. I could live without you, but I’d never want to. To me, that’s something much stronger; that no matter what, I’d fight to keep you by my side, not just give up the moment you’re gone. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, nothing I wouldn’t give for another moment wrapped in your arms.
Actually, quick amendment to that last paragraph, you couldn’t live without me. The amount of times I’ve had to remind you to not skip meals is simply insane, the fact that you’re alive is a miracle. Seriously, just drink some water, it’s not that hard.
Putting aside your infuriating disregard for self-care, there are so many things I love about you. How you trip over yourself when running to see me, how you never stop making puns, how you defend everyone you meet or how you melt into my touch.
I promise to be better, to be better for me, but more importantly be better for you. You deserve a man who tells you all these things, not because you ask, but because he can’t help it – because he can’t keep it inside a moment longer. I’ll sooner die than see you in the arms of another man, so I’m ready to become that person for you. The person you need me to be.
I’ve always been one to keep my promises, I can’t stand people who go back on their word. So, this is me, Katsuki Bakugo, promising to do everything I can to make you happy. No matter how mushy or annoying it may seem, I swear to put you first.
I’ll be there for you, no matter what.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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