In order to stop the culture of faking orgasms, we need to stop the culture of shaming others for their sexual experiences.
Canāt get your partner off on the first try? Cool. You can still be thoughtful and make them feel good.
Can get your partner off within 30 seconds? Awesome, good for you both, donāt let it get to your head.
Can make someone cum in less than 5, but for others, itās a process that takes an hour? Thatās alright, everyoneās different.Ā
Does it take you 30 minutes to cum? Thatās okay, youāre not broken, youāre not a failure.
Does it take you 10 seconds to cum? Thatās great, youāre not a slut, youāre not overly sensitive or dirty.Ā
Canāt cum without toys/vibrators? Thatās awesome, thatās a valid part of sexual play!
Can only cum with loving, vanilla sex? Thatās perfectly normal, and you will find lots of great partners to experience that with!
Orgasms are NOT the defining characteristic of your sexual prowess. They are great, theyāre lovely when they happen, but for the love of science, stop bringing them up higher than they need to be.Ā
And let it be a reminder that not everyone has the physical capacity of orgasms. Certain medications can also influence this (antidepressants are a huge factor).Ā
I am a big believer that sex should be about creating a positive, enjoyable experience for everyone doing the sex and that may or may not involve orgasms, penetration, or nudity.
