@lexiimoreland - Tumblr Blog

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

“Um hey guys. I’ve been hit pretty hard with financial difficulty lately. I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider commissioning me.”

the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202

Stabbings: $45

Gunshots: $100

Poisonings: $200

Thanks you guys please share if you can! ❤️❤️❤️

skiplo-wave

“ Hey I really admire your work can you take this kill this guy for free?”

celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725

“You’ll get some exposure from it though,”

aintnosuchthingastoothick

I love the internet

the-last-snow-elf

a cinematic masterpiece.

existthin

I like to keep my metabolism on her toes.

Like what’s it gonna be today? Complete starvation or 3000 calories? I know as much as you, bitch ;)

adventurelandia

Disneyland, 1955, photos by Loomis Dean

coco-chip

The fbi man behind my webcam whenever I reblog “fbi man who’s spying on me” memes:

itsahockeyplay-deactivated20250

the nsa agent watching me reblog fbi memes, so tired of not having his work recognized

ramjam

animals sit in the woods and scream “I WANT TO FUCK!!!!!!” and thats just the culture

katswenski

(Gif credit!) —- Check out more comics on my website, maybe!

dekoi2501post

dangerbooze

OH MY GOD

zionthepansexual

lochnessmonsterofficial

the-real-seebs

pornhub: the government is doing a bad job of sex education. we’ll do it properly. public: applause pornhub: the government is doing a bad job of snow plowing. we’ll do it properly. public: confused applause

traceytonight

wiiuapologist

pornhub: chaotic good

sundercity

m86-deactivated20171116

what timeline is this

unfollovving

pornhub doing a better job than Trump/America

clevelandslair

somewhere in all this bad pornhub is out here doing so much good

shadowofafeeling

my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me

shadowofafeeling

i told my dad about this text post and he got so excited he teared up and then he said he felt like he just adopted forty thousand new children to share his wisdom with and he hopes all of you meet kind, sweet people he would be proud of

themetaphorgirl

The first time my now-boyfriend and I went out on a date he kept swearing really loudly and he confessed like a year later that it was because he was so nervous.

larryology

17 year old harry at his finest

a-butterfly-on-his-tummy

23 year old Harry at his finest

stars-benn

onlytwitterpics

mxnrique

journalists writing articles: millennials are eating Tide Pods.

me, a millennial:

dawva

THESE ARE GEN Z KIDS!!!! 23 YEAR OLDS ARE NOT OUT HERE EATING LAUNDRY DETERGENT.

nos3um

yeah it’s them fucking kids born in 2005

pansoph

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

beefmilkthings

jerry is here

eruriholic

my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”