youāre losing me
read the full series here: broken vows
recap: this chapter takes place before alexia cheated. this is just to give you guys a better understanding of what was happening between them before everything went wrong.
word count: 1.2k
The bathroom door is still open. Warm light spills into the bedroom as you finish your skincare routine in front of the mirror. You smooth the last of the eye cream beneath your eyes, barely looking at your reflection.
āBaby?ā Alexiaās voice drifts in from the bedroom, āI wanted to talk to you.ā
āWhat?ā you call back, still focused on the mirror.
āCan you come here?ā
You sigh. āAlexiaā¦ Iām literally finishing. Give me one second.ā
She doesnāt answer.
A minute later, you switch off the bathroom light and climb into bed beside her.
Sheās sitting against the headboard, the comforter pulled over her legs. Her phone rests face down on the nightstand. A small detail that immediately catches your attention, usually sheād be scrolling while she waited for you.
Instead, sheās justā¦ sitting there. Waiting.
āWhat happened?ā you ask, studying her face.
Alexia lowers her gaze, her fingers absentmindedly tracing the edge of the blanket. āIāve been thinking,ā she says quietly.
You give a small nod, waiting for her to continue.
āI think I want to leave Barcelona,ā she admits, her eyes finally meeting yours.
Your brows knit together as you stare at her, certain youād misheard, āā¦What?ā
āI think I want to play somewhere else,ā Alexia says quietly, her eyes dropping to the comforter.
For a moment, all you can do is stare at her.
Leave Barcelona?
Leave the house youād spent years turning into a home. Leave her family. Leave Noraās school.
Your heart sinks.
āWhat are you talking about?ā you ask, unable to keep the confusion from your voice.
Alexia lets out a slow breath, as if sheād rehearsed this conversation a hundred times but still canāt find the right words. āI donāt feel like I have much left to achieve here. Weāve won everything, andā¦ā She hesitates, searching your face before looking away. āI think Iād be happier somewhere else.ā
āHappier?ā The word slips out before you can stop it, sharper than you intended.
You shake your head, trying to make sense of what sheās saying. āWhat do you mean, happier? Youāre not happy here?ā
āNo.ā Alexia shakes her head almost immediately. āThatās not what I meant.ā
You stare at her in disbelief, still struggling to follow. āThen explain it to me.ā
āIām happy,ā she says quickly. āI meanā¦ Iām happy here.ā She draws in a slow breath, her eyes fixed on a spot across the room. āIām talking about football. Career-wise.ā She pauses, choosing her words carefully. āI justā¦ I feel like my time is coming, and I donāt want to stay until Iām already on the decline.ā
You donāt know what to say.
This wasnāt the first time sheād brought it up.
A passing comment after a match. Another one months later. Every time, youād shut the conversation down before it had the chance to go anywhere, convincing yourself sheād eventually stopped thinking about it.
Looking at her now, you realize she never did.
āI donāt want to move,ā you say before you can stop yourself.
Alexiaās expression barely changes. She only nods once, as though sheād seen it coming, āI know.ā
A heavy silence settles between you.
āButā¦ā Her voice is careful now, almost hesitant. āWhat if I do?ā
You stare at her, āWhat?ā
She presses her lips together, then speaks again, āI was talking to my agentāā
āYou were talking to your agent?ā Your head snaps up āAnd youāre only telling me now?ā
āIāā
āSo youāve been having this conversation without me?ā
The next question is already out before she can answer, āYouāre thinking about moving us to another country, and youāre only telling me now?ā
Even as the accusation leaves your mouth, you know it isnāt entirely fair.
But the shock reaches you before reason does.
Alexia lets out a frustrated breath.
āWill you let me finish?ā she asks, her voice firmer now. āI asked what my options would be if I ever decided to leave. Thatās all. Nothing is happening. Nothingās been decided.ā
She pauses, waiting for you to meet her eyes.
āI would never make a decision like that without talking to you first.
The frustration drains from her face, giving way to hurt.
āWho do you think I am?ā
You pause for a moment barely recognizing the woman sitting in front of you. āI donāt know who you are right now.ā
Alexiaās expression falls before hardening. āWhatās that supposed to mean?ā
āWhy are we even having this conversation?ā you ask, your voice quieter now, though no less defensive.
āBecause I think I want to change clubs,ā she replies, trying to keep her voice steady.
āYou thinkā¦ā You let out a short, disbelieving laugh. āOr you know? Because those are two very different things.ā
āI think,ā she repeats, the frustration beginning to seep into her voice. āOh my God, thatās why Iām talking to you. I wanted to know what you thought before this became anything.ā
She exhales slowly, searching your face for some sign that youāre listening.
āWeād have a support system wherever we went.ā
āYou definitely would,ā you mutter, the sarcasm slipping out before you can stop it.
Alexia closes her eyes for a brief moment, pinching the bridge of her nose.
āCan you stop being sarcastic for one second and actually try to understand me?ā
You fold your arms across your chest, leaning back against the headboard. āI donāt know, Alexia. Because last time I checked we were supposed to make decisions together.ā
For a long moment, she simply looks at you.
Then, as though something inside her gives out, she lets herself fall back against the pillows.
āOh my Godā¦ā she murmurs, turning onto her side. āForget it.ā
You stare at the back of her head, stunned.
āForget it?ā you repeat.
She doesnāt answer.
āNo.ā You sit up straighter, your heartbeat picking up again. āYou donāt get to say āforget it.ā You canāt tell me you want to leave Barcelona and then decide the conversationās over.ā
āWeāll talk about it tomorrow,ā she says quietly, not turning around.
āNo.ā
āIām tired.ā
āSo am I.ā
Alexia lets out a tired sigh before pushing herself back upright. Rubbing a hand over her face, she looks at you with exhausted eyes.
āI think moving would be good for us.ā
You donāt say anything.
āI think itād be good for the girls. I think itād be good for you.ā
You keep your eyes on her, but you still donāt answer.
She swallows.
āAndā¦ā Her voice catches ever so slightly. āI think itād be good for me.ā
You press your lips together, āI donāt agree.ā
Her eyes search yours, looking for even the smallest sign that youāre willing to meet her halfway.
āCan you at least think about it?ā
āNot really.ā
Her jaw tightens.
āWhy are you acting like this?ā she asks, frustration finally slipping through.
A humorless laugh escapes you, āI donāt know.ā
Your eyes stay on hers. āWhy are you acting like this?ā
Silence settles over the room.
Neither of you moves.
Neither of you looks away.
Then, with a quiet sigh, Alexia pulls the comforter off her legs and swings them over the side of the bed. She reaches for the pillow behind her.
āWhere are you going?ā you ask, already knowing the answer.
She tucks the pillow beneath her arm, avoiding your eyes.
āIām going to sleep in the guest room.ā
āRight. Because youāve already decided everything on your own. So go sleep alone,ā you say, the bitterness clear in your tone.
Alexiaās expression flickers, but she doesnāt say anything. She simply walks out and closes the door behind her.