Living with depression & anxiety...
I'll start off by saying that unless you've dealt with mental illness, you couldn't possibly understand what it's like living with it day to day. I know it's tough as hell to live with someone who suffers from a mental illness, wheni you don't understand what you can do to make it better. Because our instinct is to take care of our loved ones when they aren't feeling well, it can be almost as difficult to live with someone who has mental illness as it is to actually suffer from the illness itself. If you have a loved one who has depression and/or anxiety, here are a few insights:
1. Depression is NOT an emotion, it's an illness. It's a literal chemical imbalance in our brain that we cannot help. Therapy, medication, and the proper treatment may HELP, but it isn't something that's going to just go away.
2. They can hit out of nowhere. Nothing has to be going wrong for depression/anxiety to hit. Things could be going perfectly, and still BOOM, out of nowhere, our illness rears its ugly head. Just because we're having trouble with our mental illness does not mean things aren't going well in our lives. These illnesses have a mind of their own, and sometimes we cannot control when they hit us. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong or that we aren't satisfied with our lives.
3. Just be there. You don't have to do anything really, just understanding and being there for us is everything.
4. When our illness hits, even the smallest task (i.e taking a shower, getting dressed, eating, etc) can be daunting. We aren't lazy. Our illness is literally taking every ounce of energy out of our mind and body. The worst pet peeve in the world is someone calling me lazy when it's my depression. Just like physical pain can keep someone incapacitated, so can mental illness. Trust me, we don't WANT to be exhausted. We don't WANT to feel useless. And trust me on this, we do. Depression will get into our heads and make us feel useless and worthless BECAUSE we can't get out of bed. It only makes everything worse because we already feel bad. Don't make it worse on us by putting even more guilt on us too. We feel worthless and useless because we can't get out of bed, we feel guilty because we can't do anything, so please, PLEASE don't make it worse.
5. We aren't trying to be distant. Again, it's all about not being mentally or physically able to deal with things sometimes. We'll get better, just give us our space. It's great to check in on your loved ones who may suffer from mental illness, we appreciate it more than you know, but don't give us the third degree if we say no to a social gathering. We need to recharge and focus on healing ourselves.
6. SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH. Don't let anyone make you feel like it is.
7. If a loved one has been showing severe signs of mental illness, go check on them. Check in with them. You never know just how bad it is.
8. When your loved one isn't in a depression slump, ask them about it. Ask them about their mental illness when they're having a good day. Odds are, we'll be a lot more open to talking about it when we can without it making things even worse for us.
9. If you feel like your loved one is suicidal or having suicidal tendencies/thoughts, PLEASE get them help. You can call the suicide hotline or even check them into a treatment center. Most states have mental healthcare available for those who don't have insurance, and they can get the care they need for a few days or so until they're in a better mindset.
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