So I’m a lesbian, and although I’ve been out for several years I still don’t feel comfortable enough to watch or read wlw stories in media. I dont know, I think it just still feels shameful. But I do find it so much easier to connect to mlm stories in media, I feel like I can relate to the queerness without it hitting too close to home. But I feel guilty that I’m “invading” a space not meant for me, and I certainly don’t want to be fetishizing. Is this a problematic attachment?
No, it is not neccisarily problematic. It is ok for you to read mlm stories, ship mlm pairings, root for mlm couples and love mlm characters.
It is not ok for you to call them "sinful," sexualize them, infantalize them, or fetishizes them. It doesn't sound like you personally are doing this though.
As for wlw pairings, it can be more uncomfortable simply because they are filmed through media conventions, which were in turn shaped by the male gaze. I always use the example of orange is the new black, especially in the earlier seasons. It was directed by a woman, produced by mostly women, and almost all of the actors are women. However, a lot of the framing and shooting of relationship scenes have 2 things in common.
1. Most of the scenes are sexual. Lorna and Nicky have a relationship early on, as do Piper and Alex. Alex has a relationship with a guard. Days has a relationship with a guard. Pentatucky has a relationship with a guard, and later another relationship with Big Boo. Crazy Eyes and that white girl are together (can't remember her name.) Most of these relationships are only shown through sex scenes. Other than the characters having sex, they don't have any indication that they're in a relationship.
2. The sexual scenes usually position women as a the centerpoint. Even when a man is involved, he usually remains fully clothed. He certainly never shows his penis. On the other hand, women are frequently shown topless or fully nude. They generally act like they're in a pornographic film rather than a Netflix show. Women are not characters pursuing their own desires in these scenes, even when its two women on screen. They remain objects for the consumption of the audience.
The combination of wlw scenes often being poorly developed outside of sex scenes, and the objectification of women in these scenes can make it difficult to root for these relationships. Gay men on tv are allowed to be people with chemistry who love each other. Gay women are usually together because the writer thought it would be hot.
This is a trend across a lot of movies, shows and books. It can be hard to find stories with well written wlw relationships that are also well written interesting stories, but they are out there. Personally I reccomend Steven Universe as the most compelling wlw relationships I've ever seen on television.
Sorry for ranting this just makes me angry. It's not super coherent but there it is.
izzy806
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
areudirty
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman