My longest reee ever @lgbtism - Tumblr Blog

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

dogpuppy

funny-tik-toks

d6b-onion

this video has been going around for a while but the English subtitles didn't match the energy of the spoken French at all. i had to fix it.

reblog to spread this version

#happy pride

wholesome-animal-images

#i was like #why is that guy so pixelated #and then...

weirdplutoprince

insane how people think i can just do things. "can you mail me this?" and get killed by the post office desk workers?????!!!?

saltingthecookingwine

For added context, people who don’t remember the 1980s, there were a serious of deadly shootings carried out by postal workers against their coworkers.

It was mostly covered by the media as a joke, as I recall.

weirdplutoprince

post office scary

cutecapybarapics

onewingedangels

CYBERPUNK 2077 | Judy Alvarez

berdymane

crabussy

a gentle reminder

the-scungles-of-crungles

Idk

this is my favourite addition to this post by far everyone go home. this freak won the post

sreegs

i'm not a lesbian as far as i know and i already have a wife but thanks tumblr

sreegs

man what did i click on that tumblr thinks im gay

teaspoon-sarah

the sign in button?

sreegs

copperbadge

I know myself well enough to know I would not be very good at fanbiding and that would mainly frustrate me, so while I love fan binding and admire those who do it, I've never dabbled.

I have never regretted that decision more than I did waking up from the dream I recently had, where I excitedly bought a rare copy of the novel that Goncharov (1973) was based on, opened it up, and found that it was a hollowed out "book safe" for keeping valuables in.

greaseonmymouth

@copperbadge were you looking for the Goncharov novel ?

I tracked down a copy of this invaluable classic and somehow got my hands on a near pristine copy secondhand from the 4th printing. It’s lost the dustjacket, alas, but that means I got it for like £5 and not the £4200 a first edition printing in fine condition goes for.

(Who’s the author? *looks at smudge on spine* uhhhh Mkkhill Montanann)

It looks right at home in my bookcase 🥰

Under the cut: a look inside at what the book holds:

copperbadge

OMG HAHAHA AMAZING! What a find! Truly a vintage treasure. I am dying, it looks fantastic.

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

once my friend made a drink he called turpentine that tasted like every worst college night out rolled into one and felt like getting whacked in the head with a hammer, and I woke up in my own apartment with my phone wallet keys clothes and absolutely zero memory of the night before, and when I checked my watch I'd walked over 60k steps.

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

60k steps in the middle of the night in heels for reasons entirely unknown to me. what was I doing. where did I go. where did I come from. cotton eye joe. or whatever.

going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi

people are theorizing what happened so here's what I know:

the club we went to closed at 2am and 45kish steps were after 2am, meaning I wasn't still dancing at the club. we got there at 11:30pm. I don't know when we left.

none of us had any charges on our cards or venmos after getting into the club and none of us were missing cash

we all woke up with all our things and no injuries except some bruises (to be expected from a night out)

I woke up smelling like salt water which would make me think I'd ended up in the ocean(??) except my hair was still straight, none of my things were water damaged, and I was completely dry

from our camera rolls we know we were all together until around 4am, but not where we were because they're all too dark to see, which is fucking weird because we live in a city with tons of lights all night

I didn't wake my roommates up when coming home, managed to take out my contacts, cooked mac n cheese, and passed out on the living room floor

me and everyone else who'd been wearing heels had crazy blisters

my friend found a bunch of rocks in his pockets

two of my guy friends were wearing each other's shirts when they woke up (in their separate apartments)

we all got back to our apartments around 6am which we know for a fact because we all texted pictures of ourselves being home safe to the group chat, so being unbelievably hammered didn't stop us from having enough common sense to make sure we were all okay

if we'd been able to sherlock holmes together what happened it'd just be a funny night out but the fact we all have no fucking clue means we have conspiracy theories about it. and we don't let my friend make turpentine anymore.

tallahasseemp3

please read this story of a man accidentally discovering his wife is the world's best Tetris player

lichfucker

[image description: an excerpt of text that says:

“It’s funny,” I told Flewin. “We have an old Nintendo Game Boy floating around the house, and Tetris is the only game we own. My wife will sometimes dig it out to play on airplanes and long car rides. She’s weirdly good at it. She can get 500 or 600 lines, no problem.”

What Flewin said next I will never forget.

“Oh, my!”

/end id]

justahumblememefarmer

TL;DR on the article

The husband was writing an article on classic video game records, was surprised to find out that holding the Tetris record is a bit of a big deal, and mentions how good his wife is at it.

The guy he’s talking to mentions that the record is 327, way lower than his wifes usual scores of 500-600.

They travel to a tournament, and she goes to do her attempt. Just after she beats 327, and is climbing higher, a judge brings up to the husband that the specific version she’s playing actually has a different record of 545.

She overhears that she needs to beat 500-something, and keeps going, setting the record at 841.

weirdoughnut

which, they later find out, is her second-best record

mel-155-a

There was a decent but ultimately forgettable fantasy novel I read a long time ago that had a single moment that stuck with me.

The protagonist has just won the world famous sword fighting competition in the big, rich capital and is talking to his mentor, and says something about being the best swordsman in the world. The mentor frowns and tells him that no, he isn't. He is the best swordsman out of the people that could afford to show up to this tournament. There could be a mercenary way out in the mountains, patrolling a snow encrusted fort's walls that could kick his ass and there was no way to know until he was already losing to the guy.

I think about that a lot, and how for every apparently dominant competitor, there might be a fucking ronin out there somewhere capable of destroying them.