Random Thoughts From 3am

Bisexual he/him (Please tell me if you know the og artist for my header)

[lgbtqialove]

My friends are busy having a great time literally visiting Japan right now

And me?

I almost shat myself at work

[lgbtqialove]

What’s stopping me from after formal, I just cut contact with everyone and I just vanish?

A new start when I go to uni could be what I need. I say goodbye to Jamie and make myself someone new, someone that didn’t go to my high school, someone who didn’t go to my primary school.

Name - from Jamie to James (not much of a change but enough)

I move away and people wonder where I’ve gone or who I’ve become, but they never know for sure.

It’d be peaceful, having a fresh start, I could finally move past the things holding me back

[lgbtqialove]

16 days…

That’s all it took for him to think about breaking it off.

Am I that unlovable? Can no one stand me?

[lgbtqialove]

My mental health had gotten so bad, that showering was impossible

It took me days to build up the energy to go for a shower and when I walked in to the room my mum told me she was going for a shower and to get out.

So yeah is there a point?

[lgbtqialove]

I forgot that my family can't hear me speak for longer than 30 seconds before getting mad at me for simply existing

[lgbtqialove]

Just venting

I helped out so much today. My mum sprung on me the second I woke up that we were moving today. I helped move so much and I packed up my entire room in a couple of hours. I helped out so much. But a couple of months ago I planned with my friends to go to an escape room today, at 4:30 so I went to that after moving a shit ton.

My mum picks me up and tells me “all hands on deck tomorrow”

To which I reply that I’m working tomorrow at 11-2:30. She gets mad and says that I’m getting out of moving two days in a row so I should get up at 7am to help move. I told her I’d rather get up at 8 and she screamed at me that I’m ungrateful. It’s the school holidays. I was stressed to the point of sh from school so I was glad I didn’t have many shifts throughout the holidays, I considered it to finally be my break because the past couple of weeks my weekends have been filled with packing and cleaning. We had to move twice due to family things. But I helped out all through that and all I wanted was two weeks to just work on my mental health and my mum is calling me lazy.

I am sick of this.

[lgbtqialove]

Parents:*When their kid comes out as ace* you’re too young to know, you’re 15-17 you wouldn’t experience sexual attraction anyway

Also parents: WILL THERE BE MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?? YOU GUYS WILL SLEEP TOGETHER IDC IF YOU’RE 11 IT IS NOT HAPPENING

[lgbtqialove]

God I hate family outings

[lgbtqialove]

Have you ever just felt hopeless?

One minute I’m fine and the next I’m wishing I was never born. I was on the top of the world last night and now I feel lower than the bottom of the ocean.

I don’t know what or how to deal with it.

I want to feel positive and happy again but I know I’d have to talk to people for that to happen.

But I feel like I can’t talk to anyone.

I once tried talking to my friend about it and she told me to stop, even though she vented to me moments before, so I crossed her off the list, I’m not close enough to most of my friends to talk to them. I tried talking to my cousin but he told me to stop, even tho he too was venting to me earlier.

I have one friend who would let me vent but they have enough going on rn and I’m not going to help them at all if I talk to her.

So here I am, venting in another tumblr post

[lgbtqialove]

I’ll never forget the time where my mum told me to stop crying over her and my dads break up because she was tired.

They told us that they’d broken up the day before.

[silentxhearts-deactivated201402]

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU FEEL BEING ASEXUAL IS AN ACTAUL SEXUALITY SO I CAN WRITE DOWN YOUR URL ON A PEICE OF PAPER AND SHOW IT TO MY DICKHEAD OF FRIEND

[shsl-ornithologist-deactivated2]

((The lack of notes is concerning.))

[lgbtqialove]

I’m ace

[lgbtqialove]

Me: *about a bad cop on tv* accurate representation of cops

My sister: NOooOo

[lgbtqialove]

Fun fact about me! I draw a lot when I’m Anxious/Sad/Scared

WANNA SEE THE SHITTON OF DRAWINGS I JUST DID?

[lgbtqialove]

Me:*lives with 5 other people*

Me: I didn’t have any icecream

My Mother: the Ice cream is missing some. It obvious was (my dead name)

[lgbtqialove]

Is it bad that I want my friend to shut up about her gf? It kind of pisses me off that the only thing she talks about is her.

[lgbtqialove]

Dad:I’ll drop you off 2nd tomorrow if you just do this annoying task that makes you go insane

Me: fine

*the next day*

Mum: we’re not dropping you off 2nd. It’s harder for us.

Me: but dad promised!

Mum: and he shouldn’t of.

Me: why make a promise that you have no intentions of keeping?

Mum:*laughs at me*

Mum: Your sister will drop you off, so you have to be extra early

[lgbtqialove]

Whenever someone requests something on my main blog and they start there request with

“I love your work”

I can’t tell you how badly I love this omg, such a confidence booster