“Do you remember our first kiss?” You asked, your voice wavering. He looked back at you, his features arranged into an expression of sarcastic shock, as if horrified you thought he’d forget. That was just him; always looking to lighten the mood with a joke, or a silly face.
“It was right here on this very hill, almost exactly where we’re sitting.” You looked out over the rippling fields, the long grass swaying in the autumn breeze. The tree under which you sat was starting to change, glimpses of the blue sky peeking out from between the warmly tinged leaves overhead. It was sad, how this wondrous tree was so out of the way from the rest of the world, its beauty being secreted away by the distance few were willing to travel. Niall was always up for an adventure, however, and that’s why you had been best friends.
“You told me it’d be fun.” You shot him an accusatory glare. “Someone didn’t check the weather forecast before dragging me out here.” He feigned innocence, but the spark in his sapphire eyes gave him away. “Before long, it started pouring rain. An absolute torrential downpour. And we were the lucky souls trapped right in the middle of it.” He smiled, remembering how upset you had been with him. You had been shivering, the cool wind chilling your wet skin. He’d taken off the jumper he’d thrown on and draped it over your shoulders, but little did it help, as it too was soaked. “I spotted the tree a little ways away, and we decided to make a dash for it.” You recalled how he had grabbed your hand, his laugh ringing even through the roar of the rain. You wildly ran through the storm, as if trying to outrun the raindrops. You had both collapsed under the tree, thankful for the temporary shelter.
“We decided to ride out the storm, and spent the rest of the afternoon just lounging here. We talked, played countless games of I spy – do you remember that?” He nodded, his eyes trained on your face as your eyes swam with emotion.
“And then you kissed me. Out of nowhere; suddenly your lips were on mine, and everything just felt right in the world.” You smiled, your fingers subconsciously touching your lips, as if you were trying to verify it had actually happened. He reached out his hand to cup your cheek. You felt nothing. You fingered the rock beside you, tracing the engraving on the stones polished surface.
Here lies Sgt. Niall J. Horan (September 13th, 1993 – June 6th, 2012), who was killed while performing tasks outside of his duty to his country, to help the civilians of Iraq. He was awarded the Military Medal for Gallantry for his brave deeds. His love for life, friends, family, his guitar and a good song will never be forgotten. You are missed.
He had moved, his body now encircling your quivering form. You felt nothing. He wasn’t there.
“Why’d you have to be brave Niall? Why’d you have to be so god damn sensible, and caring, and good? I knew I never deserved you, but I don’t believe I did anything to earn you being taken from me!” You were shouting at him, angry that’d he’d been so stupidly selfish. You turned to him, desperately trying to grab his shoulder, arm, face – anything, but to no avail. Your hand moved effortlessly through the air.
Disheartened, you got up, not being able to put yourself this form of hopeless torture anymore. You cast one more look at the man sprawled below you. His hair was his natural chocolate, making his blue eyes seem even more so. His physique had gotten taller, and broader, filling out with all the military training he’d gone through.
“You were so handsome. Did I ever tell you that?” You stated, your voice nothing more than a broken whisper. You knew he could hear you. He shrugged, his inability to accept compliments still present, even in death.
You started clambering down the hill, your shoes in one hand, your jacket in the other. It was a relatively fresh September day, summer giving an encore. You started walking away, looking over your shoulder to see Niall one last time.
His lips moved, but no sound came from them. But his voice echoed in your head, whispering the three words you had never gone a day without hearing when he was by your side.
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