Rachael and Holding Onto the Past and Abuse and Themes
hey cw up front on this one: there's gonna be discussion of abuse n grooming in here
I have been plagued by thinking about the themes of An Atompunk Opera, the New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness. It really was a struggle for me and i think mostly that difficulty came down to the character Rachael. As much as i loved her, jokes about her just "being a taxi" for the True Real story kinda kept me from thinking about her story and her writing and giving it proper weight and thought. And that isn't to say that she isn't a passive protagonist for much of the story, she very much is. From the moment she escapes the asylum she was kept in until she runs out on Lee into the arms of Elysium's angels, the narrative mostly happens to and around her. She very much reacts to it.
I think this fits into what I've come to understand as a big theme of An Atompunk Opera, the New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness, of holding on too tight to an ideal past to the detriment of seeing, let alone making a new future to be happy in. The most obvious character to point to for this theme is Connor, who was so focused on saving Lee to the detriment of his relationship with zip (mascot 3000) that zip just calls Conner "the madman" instead of dad. and in the end instead of forging a new future with the kid he does have with him, instead he's left with neither one. We see this in Lee's last moments as well, he wants to hold onto and mend a relationship with the woman he thinks is the reincarnated soul of his long dead love, and clinging onto it ends up killing him.
Rachael doesn't seem to be outwardly holding onto something from her past though, does she? I mean all she does after escaping the asylum she was put in after she wanted to keep the pregnancy from a guy who groomed her was follow the instructions of this man older than her because she's lost alone and disoriented- oh hm.
Up front i am not comparing Connor to the man that abused Rachael. This isn't a "Connor is secretly this even worse thing" kind of post. This is a discussion of reaction TO years of abuse and cycles. And Themes. Love a theme.
Rachael is a character who as we meet her in her song details being wooed by a man much older than her n whom demands respect from her life. I have been in similar situations to this. Being made small n to listen to directions leaves a huge impact n even after moments of sticking up for oneself it is very easy to still slip into those patterns. Rachael, i believe, is still subconsciously clinging to a past or more accurately trauma of needing to look for instruction and approval. And as a more active role, is holding on to ideas of soul mates and romance to get her through her life. She's holding on to the love song just for her on the radio. She's the character who's holding on with two gripped fists to something that wasn't good in the first place. Her story is so, so necessarily about being able to let her past go.
So she is a taxi in the story as she's told to be. She goes to elysium because she doesn't have much better to do and as she thinks its where her promised love will be waiting. She steps into elysium greeted by a welcome party!
Then it comes crashing down when Lee tells her that she doesn't feel like Adrian, the he cannot love her in the way she wants. So she runs, and she cries and she wants to die.
And then she lives, and then she chooses to keep living, not chasing after acceptance or recognition or her destined love. Rachael chooses to carve out something new with her acceptance into elysium, and with Zip. She gets to have a happy (after?)life because she's the character who finally stopped clinging to a past that she shouldn't return to
