LOST!

TW! All about my life. Glimpse of my days.. (most... darken) and (very fewer brighter)!

[life--001]

[godfollowing-deactivated2023011]

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[just-a-lonely-nobody]

[aizuki]

[yrotagrup-deactivated20240321]

[yrotagrup-deactivated20240321]

[life--001]

#fuckinglife

[life--001]

I hate for whatever I've done today! I'm fucking dying! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! I hate me! I just wastes the brand new day again and tomorrow I gotta exam of physics and I'm dying bcz I got 14 freaking chapters and idk what yeh fuck I am gonna do now? I won't be able to write anything in the test and I'll be fucked up! What I'll say to my parents? They don't know what the hell their child was doing the whole day! They think i'm studying but actually I'm fucking myself!

I hate me!

[angel--cat]

[life--001]

Only and only hate for self, constantly and everlasting feeling!

It is impossible for me to live like this!

I hate me and I hate to live! I'm fucking dying inside but still living outside!! I'll never be able to be like everyone is! I'm really a lot different! I can't carry anything anymore! I hate me so much! I hurt everyone who else is going talk to me, I'm going to kill everyone who is going to try to attach to me... Really not intentionally but... it's like... Fucking the worst person on this earth ever! I I can't do anything what a normal person can do! I hate this life... I can't see any hope anymore! I don't know how can everyone make out to live?

I haven't loved anyone as deeply as I want it's not bcz I don't know that they'll love me back... Bcz it's like I'm afraid of losing them! And perhaps I think, I was.never gotta livee by anyone and the re0lp.. .................... ....

Fuck!

[missinyouiskillingme]

[missinyouiskillingme]

I wish I could turn back time

[fadedyuki-deactivated20230712]

On a fine line between emotional and emotionless.

[quotefeeling]

“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting the rest of our lives.”

— Lemony Snicket; The Ersatz Elevator

[life--001]

Then I'm going to wait rest of my life....

[columbine-01]

SAME HATING FEELINGS!

I hate me for what I've done today. I'm in class 12th. One of my madam came with me(when I was about to complete class 11th) in rikshaw for a month and we both know eachother very well after that. Once the rikshaw punctured and I've test in school. And there were very less chance that rikshaw could came to that area and even I was new admission at this school so very less guys know me. that time, even she was late too but without carrying about it, when she stopped one of her student's Activa, and sent me with her(student). Then, after month, when she was no longer coming with me, sometimes, when my rikshaw didn't come or late, she stopped and asked me out if I wanna call to rikshaw's uncle or if I want her to leave me at home. (We live nearby.) At least 5 times she made phone call for me without asking her. She just saw me standing for rikshaw after 15 mins of bell rang. Literally, teachers only left in school. Rarely students are there after 10mins. (After leaving rikshaw, she was coming with Activa and sometimes with car.) And If she isn't going by herself, (sometimes for some reason like her Activa has any problem or whatever) she came with me in rikshaw.

But for some reasons, I left that rikshaw and now I travel through half way rikshaw and half way walk. but she don't know it, so she just came after bell, today, and asked me to go with me. So I told her that I'm no longer going with that rikshaw and how I travel. I know she don't wanna walk that much. So she asked me that let's go together in rikshaw, so little bit money got saved.

I walk for a 2 reasons: 1st; I'm introvert or shy like person and I don't wanna go with more talk to strangers, so I decided to walk half way. 2nd; nowadays, my whole day goes mostly by seating at same place (I've to go 2-3 days in week for just attempting tests). so I want do exercise too.

it was today already little late than regular for me, and she just came. It could be 100% okay for me to go home late for a day. (Not that much but about 5-10mins.)

I have denied her without a single hesitation that it's okay for me to go by myself. And when I was going I asked her like "I'm going ok?" How shame me was! How can she just deny me or stop me If I don't wanna stood with her? I know she got disappointed bcz of me and I've ruined it. I hate my reaction! I should've stood with her...! What was there necessary for me to make that kinda things weird? I hurt her. She helped me when I needed even when I didn't ask her to. But when she want mine, and she asked, I just denied like....f**kin' hell! I hate my decision! Why I just did it? Totally, my mood got ruined when I got home and today felt a lot hate about myself!

Anyone is here like me or wanna suggest me something?

[life--001]

Just reblogging so someone might find something to help out this person 👆

[emailclub]

help me god. ok bye

[life--001]

Me too!

[life--001]

Again broken from the bottom!!