Something I see discussed so much on SM about Tommy and Grace's wedding is how 'horrible' her dress was or how frumpy/dowdy they made her, particularly in comparison to her S2 look and how she was dressed at the Gala.
Can we all take a step back for a moment and just assess WHY she wore such a modest wedding dress in such a formal colour? To quote the girl herself 'half of the British Army are downstairs'.
Grace comes from an EXTREMELY conservative, aristocratic, military family from whom she appears almost entirely estranged. We learn that the only reason they even attend her wedding isn't that her family love her or care about her or WANT to attend her wedding. No, they come out of respect for Tommy's war records.
Let's let that just settle for a moment. They would have allowed their niece who has NO FAMILY, NO PARENTS, NO SIBLINGS to marry alone because they don't like the man she is marrying.
Why is that? Not that it's ever explained but I would say it is safe to say they know she left her husband for Tommy. Her closest family know that, at least. No, they don't know Tommy is Charlie's biological Father (not that it takes a genius) but they know that she has been living in sin with him for a good amount of time and they do not approve, not in the slightest.
Grace knows this. Tommy knows this. It's partly why he hates them in his house so much. They have disrespected him and his wife before the wedding has even started by turning up in uniform DESPITE their request not to. Does Tommy kick them out? No. Does he say anything? No. Why? Because 'for Grace's sake, nothing will go wrong. Those BASTARDS out there are her family.'
Grace Burgess, who gave up everything to be with Thomas Shelby, tailored her entire wedding for the purpose of regaining the respect of her family. The hair? Reserved. The dress? Modest. The reception? Traditional. The venue? Her posh home. Charlie? Kept out the way.
She did everything she was supposed to and Tommy supported it because he knew how much it meant to her.
The wedding was meant to be out of character, the dress was meant to be boring. That was what she was going for.
She wanted them to like her again. The girl who had no one just wanted to be loved and respected by her family and those fuckers didn't give one shiny fuck. What hurts is that Tommy knew that and he didn't say a word. Just drank his wine and let her believe any of it made a difference.
On their wedding day we gain just the slightest perspective into what Grace's life was like before she met Tommy. Grace who grew up to become an undercover operative. Grace who loved so fucking hard. Grace who was fun and passionate and spirited was surrounded by those kinds of people. Stuck up, traditional, reserved, judgemental, horrible people. Perhaps also safe to say that's also what her parents were like.
And who stepped up? The Shelbys. Despite EVERYTHING. Who sat through the entire thing, supported her, supported their brother, respected the sanctity of her wedding day and fought to keep the fact the Russians had turned up from her? The Shelbys.
Polly fucking Grey cared more about Grace's well-being on her wedding day than her own family did and that? That is fucking devastating.
So no, it's not just an 'ugly' dress or a hairstyle. It's the fact that that night she is back to a silken nightie. It's the fact however many weeks later she is in a strapless fucking ballgown with a fuck off sapphire hanging from her chest as she schmoozes with Birmingham's elite.
It's the fact that when her boring family are downstairs, she's shagging the truth about international business dealings from her gangster husband whilst wearing glittery, diamond-encrusted garters under said reserved wedding dress.
That was Grace, the real Grace. The Grace Tommy (and we) fell in love with. It was nothing to do with poor taste. She wanted to appear respectable, just for the day.
The show completely whitewashes the HELL Grace would have gone through prior to her husband's suicide.
She could not file for divorce, women weren't allowed. She could not retain custody of her own child if she left her husband, he had to consent. Her name would have been published in the paper, she would have had to stand up in court and confess to adultery, her child was legally the property of her husband, she would have lost every asset that she brought into the marriage.
She would have been socially shunned, ridiculed, cast out of respectable society. But did she care? Not a jot. She loved Tommy, unconditionally, unwaveringly loved him and threw her life away to be with him. The bravery of that is unparalleled by any other character in the show and what makes it haunting is the reality of it. Grace Burgess was every woman in the 20th century who married the wrong man - stuck.
Grace is the most complex character in the show and you cannot convince me otherwise and she was snuffed out on a whim. She would have been magnificent. Damn you SK, damn you.
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