Lifeless Without Love

[lifelesswithoutlove]

Me when Josh won Big Brother:

Me remembering that Paul still won $50 000:

[lifelesswithoutlove]

Paul: I did not put in all this hard work to come in second place again

Me:

[lifelesswithoutlove]

we don't.

[lifelesswithoutlove]

       She loved flowers. She loved the way they smelt. She loved the colours’ of the flowers that contrasted the dull surrounding. She loved the intricate, yet simplistic beauty of the flower’s structure. She loved the happiness and comfort that flowers brought her. She loved how flowers could bring a smile to her face. She loved what flowers symbolized; love, beauty, growth and strength. 

         And he loved her. He loved her for every same reason that she loved flowers. 

~B

[lifelesswithoutlove]

I cannot fucking believe that someone actually did this to the Wikipedia page 😂😂😂😂😂😂 

[lifelesswithoutlove]

A Promise is a Promise *Flashback* - Harry Styles/ Marcel Imagine Part 2 

(Here’s Part 1)

“Y/n?”

“Yeah, Marcel?” You mumbled, not even bothering to take your eyes away from the complicated polynomial you were currently trying to factor.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?” You asked, the notebook in your lap sliding onto the pile of papers scattered all over Marcel’s bed, as your body shot up from Marcel’s outburst.

But Marcel only sat there, his large fingers fumbling with the calculator in his hand and eyebrows furrowed as if he were trying to string together words.

“Marcel,” you spoke, shifting closer towards him all the while reaching your hands over his to take the distraction of the calculator out of his hands,”why would you ask me that?”

“It’s just that..” Marcel’s chest rising as he took in a deep breath, “I’ve never felt love before, but y/n…I think I love you.”

“Wait. I-I don’t understand why you…love me. I mean, what have I done?” You were completely confused as to why Marcel would like you. It’s not like you’ve done anything remotely flirty…but in some odd way, him admitting his feelings for you confused yours for him.

In the beginning you two were merely just strangers who sat beside each other in math class. But for weeks now, you had been denying any feelings for Marcel.It was like one day you just began to notice butterflies in your stomach whenever Marcel’s green eyes stared intensely back at yours, or when he would flash his dimples as said something remotely sarcastic.

“Well…I suppose…I can’t really pinpoint why I love you y/n. I just do. I go to math class happy knowing you’re there, and I think about you for the other four periods that I’m not with you. And I get it if you don’t want to go on a date with me because, I’m well, me. But-”

“Marcel, I would never turn you down because of your social status. I just feel like I’m not ready for a boyfriend yet. There’s so much more that I need to learn about myself, and I think that being in a relationship right now isn’t the best thing for me. I’m sorry” you explained, sadly smiling at Marcel.

“I uh…I get it,” Marcel mumbled, as he pulled his big hands away from yours making your chest ache.

“Marcel..”

“Did you get the answer to question six?” his voice stuttering as he picked his pencil back up from his bed.

Silence filled the room as you tried to figure out what to say to Marcel. You felt horrible knowing that this probably isn’t the first time that Marcel had been turned down. But fuck it, you did love him.

So you kissed him. His body flinched back from the surprise contact of your lips against his, that he had to lean back on his elbows for support. And your hands placed softly on top of his shoulders to prevent yourself from falling on him.

“Wait, is that a yeah?” Marcel mumbled, your lips still pressed together, as you two couldn’t help but laugh.

You pulled away from the kiss, hands still on Marcel’s shoulders, lips still lightly fanning over his.

“How about we make a promise?” You ask pecking Marcel’s lips again, “if we still love each other at graduation, then you can take me on a date?”

This time it was Marcel who collided his eager lips with yours, smiling into the kiss.

“Promise.”

[lifelesswithoutlove]

I Have Loved You Since.. - Niall Horan Imagine Part One

“Has anyone seen Caroline?” You ask, peeking your head into the doorway of the dressing room.You watched Lou from the mirror as she combed her fingers through Niall’s hair, a gel product sculpting his hair.

“No idea. Think she went to the kitchen to get food, why?” Lottie answered as she looked away from her phone.

You sighed to yourself, knowing that the kitchen was all the way across the stadium, “I just have to run by a few things with her. Thanks though.”

“Wait, I’ll come.” Lottie chimed, jumping up from from her chair. You sent one last smile to Lou and Niall who seemed to be staring back at you and Lottie intensely through the mirror, before he looked back at his phone.

Niall watched as your head disappeared from behind the door, sighing as the door shut. He could feel the jealousy rise from the pit of his stomach, watching you barely acknowledge him.

He had been feeling that a lot lately.Whenever you walked by him without even noticing him, or whenever he was apart from you, wondering what you were doing every second of every day.

“You’re so in love with y/n.” Lou teased, snapping Niall out of his trance.

He glared back in the mirror, trying to control his face from turning red, “you think I don’t know that?”

“Stop acting like you hate her then. She told me the other day that she thinks you find her annoying because you always avoid her.” Lou sarcastically answered, pushing Niall’s head forward a little more roughly than she normally would while doing his hair.

“You talked to her about me the other day?” Niall anxiously asked, “what did she say exactly? Did you ask her what I told you to?”

Lou rolled her eyes, “she didn’t say much other than that. And yes, I did. She doesn’t like Dan, like I told you.”

Niall hadn’t even realized that his body had been tense until he heard those words from Lou, and the muscles of his back relaxed. It was killing him not knowing whether or not you were into him. Normally he could tell if a girl was interested, but he couldn’t read you.

Maybe it was because you two have been friends for so long, that Niall could no longer tell if you were being friendly or flirty. So he had become distant, because if you found out he loved you and you didn’t feel the same it would crush him.

“You seriously need to make a move Niall. Y/n is oblivious to this kind of stuff, but everyone else is starting to notice. Better you tell her than have Louis or Harry tease her until she catches on.”

“I know,” Niall groaned, running his hands over his face, “I’ll figure it out. But I’ll do it tonight after the concert.”

“Good.”

“And what if she doesn’t feel the same?”

“Well then at least you know.”

[lifelesswithoutlove]

A Promise is a Promise - Harry Styles/Marcel Imagine

Four years. Everyday spent with early mornings, caffeinated drinks, and late night studying, all leading up to this moment. And yet it still felt quite bittersweet.

Yeah sure, you no longer had to endure being cramped into a hellhole with people who weren't particularly your friends. But then you had to say goodbye to the ones who you actually loved.

And Marcel.

It had been three years. Surely he forgot. But you didn't. You remember when you both started high school, both not knowing anyone from your previous elementary schools. No one wanted to sit with the boy who wore sweater vests and large framed glasses. And well, you had no one either. It was as if your friendship with Marcel was preset.

And now? People probably wouldn’t have believed that a girl like you was once friends with a guy like him. Marcel, the most popular, curly haired, tattooed boy in school.

But it was time for you to move on. Clearly Marcel didn’t remember one of the many girl’s hearts he had stolen during the years of high school. There were too many to count.

“What are you doing over here standing alone?”

You turned around, your blue graduation cap falling off of your head as you clumsily caught it in your hands. Marcel stood there smirking, his own cap in his hands as well.

“Just thinking,” You said, your lips slightly curling up into a smile.

“Yeah, about what?”

You sighed, running your hands down along your graduation gown, “I don’t know. I guess just how much I’m going to miss this place. I didn’t think I’d ever say something like that.”

Marcel laughed, his dimples indented deeply in his cheeks as he nodded his head in agreement, “you know what? I think I will too. Where are you headed off to now?”

“Oxford University, you?”

“I’m studying overseas.”

“Oh.”

A silence fell between you two, as you had no idea what to say to Marcel, he was going to go so far away. At least in high school you knew you two were in the same building, and that comforted you. But now, you two would never have a chance at bumping into each other and it broke your heart to even think that Marcel could be permanently our of your life.

“You know what else I’m gonna miss?”

“What?” You asked, looking back into Marcel’s green eyes, piercing yours.

“You.”

“You haven’t spoken to me in three years,” You sarcastically answered, surprised at how cold the words actually sounded as they came out of your mouth.

Marcel bit his lip as he ran a hand through his curls, “I know. And I’m sorry, I guess I just got too caught up in things. But that doesn’t mean that I forgot you. And that promise.”

“Promise?” You questioned, knowing exactly what he meant. You just needed to hear him say the words to verify that this moment was real.

“Yes. Promise. You said that if we were still in love with each other, that on the day of graduation I would ask you the same question I once did three years ago, when we were sitting on my bed. And this time, you would say yes.”

You took a deep breath, as Marcel took a step closer towards you, his fingertips now lightly trailing along your wrist.

“So y/n, if you are still in love with me, as I have always been with you. Will you go on a proper date with me?”

You couldn’t help the smile that played on your lips as you interlocked your fingers with his, the cold metal of his rings against your warm hand, “I’m not sure. I’m thinking about making you wait another three years.”

“Oh, shut up. Is that a yes or no?” Marcel laughed, rolling his eyes as he placed his forehead against yours.

You tilted your chin up, until your lips met with his. And you couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, just like you did three years ago.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Marcel mumbled into the kiss, and you shut him up by pressing your lips harder against his.

A/N: Should I do a part two of a flashback about that moment they refer to as the “promise”? 

[lifelesswithoutlove]

A Beginning And An End - Niall Horan Imagine

“Hi.”

“Niall..”

There was an indescribable feeling that had settled in your stomach. It had been there for two whole weeks, never really leaving your body. And now that Niall was back home permanently, that feeling only intensified.

But you didn’t expect Niall to be standing in front of you at this very moment, in the entrance of your apartment. And you dreaded this. Because you knew what was coming.

“Can I come in?” Niall asked, as you slowly nodded your head and stepped back to allow him in. You bit your lip as you watched him step into your apartment, his wet shoes dragging the rainwater onto your carpet.

Three months ago Niall would just come in on his own with a key that you gave him. And he would walk straight towards the kitchen. But this time, he stood awkwardly beside the coat hanger, his eyes scanning the paintings he had helped you hang on the wall.

“Do you...want some lemonade?”

“Oh no thanks, I’m good.” Niall replied, faintly smiling at you.

He never let down an offer to have a glass of your homemade lemonade.

You turned away from Niall, making your way towards the couch, his heavy footsteps being the only sound to echo off the walls of the room. The two of you sat on the couch, awkwardly staring at each other. Neither one wanting to be the one to speak first.

“Niall..I..” You hesitated, your breath hitching in your throat, heavy chest rising and falling. Niall bowed his head slightly, a sad smile appearing on his lips motioning that he understood what you were about to say.

“Things aren’t the same anymore.”

You stared at him, a silence falling over between the two of you.

“I know.”

“What?” you asked, his answer catching you off guard. Niall shifted closer to you, his warm fingers hesitantly hovering over your hand. But when you didn’t move away, he decided to allow his skin to touch yours.

“I said I know, y/n. I’ve known for awhile now. When it got to the point where we both became used to being away from each other, and we were okay with it. I knew that things between us were different”

Staring into Niall’s blue eyes, hearing his thick accent and feeling his warm hand on yours brought you to reality. It brought this situation to life. Four years ago, whenever Niall would go on tour, the distance would be what made you love each other more. But as the years passed and you both changed, being away from each other didn’t seem to hurt anymore. Missing each other didn’t seem to happen anymore. And soon, you had begun to question if loving each other was still possible.

But saying goodbye to Niall forever made it clear how much your heart was aching at the thought of not having him in your life anymore.

And you couldn’t hold it in anymore, you pulled you hand away from Niall as they moved to cover your face. You didn’t want him to see you cry.

“No, shh. It’s okay y/n. Come here.” Niall’s arms wrapped around your shoulders, you could feel him nudge your head onto his shoulder.

“I just...you were my bestfriend before all of this. And we were so great, I-I don’t know what happened. And I’m scared to live a life without you-”

“Y/n. It’s okay.” You could feel his chest rise and fall against your body with a heavy sigh, “It’s okay to be scared. I am too. But It’s time we admit that this isn’t working anymore. But I’m always going to love you, and I’ll always be there for you. Okay?”

The only response given was your arms wrapping around Niall’s torso as tight as possible, savouring the last intimate touch you would have with him.

“Y/n, please tell me you’ll be okay?” You could hear his voice crack slightly, making it harder for you to stop the tears from leaving your eyes, “Because I don’t know if I’ll be okay if you aren’t.”

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, despite the morbid situation, “we’ll be okay, Niall.”

And the two of you sat on the couch, embracing each other one last time. Both unable to stop crying knowing that it was the end.

[lifelesswithoutlove]

Studying the Distance - Harry Styles Imagine

“Who are you talking to?”

“It’s Harry.”

“Oh, hi Harry!”

You giggle as you watch your roommate drunkenly wave at your phone even though Harry can’t actually see her. Your eyes follow her as she finally gets her shoes off and tucks herself in bed, before turning your attention back towards Harry.

“Sorry about that, y/f/n’s a little tipsy,” you laugh into the phone, “what was I saying again?”

“You were talking about spirit week,” you hear Harry casually say into the phone and the rustling of sheets from under him, as you imagined him shifting around in his hotel bed.

“Right, I honestly felt so drained after last week. It’s like everyday, y/f/n would drag me out to participate in the campus rallies. But best week ever,” you happily sigh into the phone. Your eyelids feeling heavy, as you glanced at the time on the clock. You should be sleeping right now, knowing that in four hours you would have a test to write.

But it was morning for Harry in his time zone, and you had barely spoken to him all week.

University life was just as busy as his touring.

“Seems like you’ve been going out a lot lately,” Harry’s voice calm, but you caught on to the hint of anger in his voice.

“Well, I don’t go out everyday. And half the time I do, it’s schoolwork related,” you defensively answered.

“Schoolwork related. Like spending nights with your study buddy, Andrew?”

You propped yourself up on your elbows, the weight of your arms sinking into your pillow as you furrowed your eyebrows. That was so out of the blue.

“Harry what is wrong with you? You know well enough that Andrew is nothing more to me than my tutor, and that I would never cheat on you,” you calmly state. You were not going to kiss Harry’s ass because of some little insecurity of his. Especially not after he had the nerve to hint at you being unfaithful.

“Fuck, y/n. It’s not that!” You hear Harry yell into the phone, his voice ringing through your ears.

“Then why are you getting so mad at me?”

You were silent as you waited for him to finish angrily sighing into the phone, “it just almost seems like you’ve been too busy with your new friends for me. You have this new life where you’re going out and doing things you normally wouldn’t do without me, and you’re fine with it.”

“Harry-”

“I’m over here fucking craving and missing you every single time my mind wanders to you, which is like almost every fucking five minutes. And you’re clearly enjoying your new university life without me.”

By now yours and Harry’s breaths quickened, your chest heavily rising and falling as you imagined his was as well.

But you understood. Because for a time, you were on the other side. You were once the one in the relationship that watched the other accomplish so much, as you felt like your life was in a limbo. And every part of you ached at the thought of you causing Harry the pain you once felt.

“Harry you're crazy. You're so worried that I'm going to like my new life without you and choose that over you. When I haven’t even thought about leaving you once. You are my life, I miss you all the time. Don't you get that I need you too? I may have all these new friends that you don't know, but you're always going to be my bestfriend and my boyfriend."

"I'm an idiot, aren't I?" Harry asking, a relieved laugh leaving his throat.

You returned the laugh, "sometimes. But that's you and I'm still me, Harry. I love you and don't you forget that, okay?"

"Okay.”

“Okay good. Now let’s talk about you-”

“Will you shut up already?” You hear y/f/n groan, “I’m trying to get some sleep before the hangover kicks in.”

You and Harry both laugh into the phone.

“Sorry.”

[lifelesswithoutlove]

Niall is me tbh

[lifelesswithoutlove]

Innocence - Harry Styles Punk Imagine

You felt tingly inside, as if you were floating at the very tip of your toes along the musty, old carpet of your dorm room. Humming to yourself, you pay no attention to the angry, hunched figure sitting on your bed. You could feel his glare leering against your skin giving you goosebumps. Unable to unlatch the strap of your heels that you had been struggling with for a few minutes, you finally decide to acknowledge Harry as you sat down beside him. The bed sank as you placed your legs into Harry’s lap.

“Can you help me?” You asked, as your head fell back into the softness of your pillows and you closed your eyes trying to stop the bubbly feeling.

You could feel his large, warm hands slowly working on your shoes as he let out a frustrated grunt that was not only from the complication of your shoes, but also for your decision tonight.

“What is going on with you y/n?” Harry asked, as he finally got one shoe off and tossed it across the room, “Your friends say you haven’t shown up to class lately, and now you party all night and come back drunk the day before you have a test?”

You let out a sigh as you wiggled your toes, “I’m just having some fun, Harry.”

“So screwing everything up is having fun?” Harry’s voice was sarcastic and evidently getting louder. You could feel the tipsiness drain from your body, and irritation bubble up.

“I don’t get why you’re getting all mad at me. I’ve always been the goody goody who stays focused. I’ve never been able to be young and have fun, and now that I am, I’m getting attacked for it? You do it all the time! How do you not know that you hanging around me all the time is a bad influence?” You sat up, glaring back at Harry.

“Fuck!” Harry yelled, throwing your other shoe against the wall, “I have never once encouraged you to do anything that I do. I’m already a fuck up, it doesn’t matter what I do. You’re so smart and have so much potential to be whatever, I would never try to mess up your future. Don’t you fucking blame this on me.”

Silence fell upon the room, as you two glared each other, both trying to steady your heavy breaths. Your hands were tightly gripping your sheets as his hands were balled up in a fist.

You leaned back against your headboard, and turned your head away. Harry was right, lately you haven’t been yourself. The stress of your life lately has seemed so unbearable with school, and your love life. It had become pretty obvious that you and Harry had begun to cross the boundary of just friends. And the jealousy you felt as you watched girls who were much more suited for Harry and his lifestyle easily approach him. You just wanted to be like one of those girls in Harry’s circle of friends. You were the outsider. And now you were slowly losing yourself and your values.

“Sometimes, I don’t understand why you would want to hang out with someone who has the complete opposite life of you.”

Understanding the words between the lines, Harry let out a long and quiet sigh. He now knew that he was the cause of this outrageous behavior, but not in the way he originally thought. You could feel the bed dip as Harry sat back down where he once was, as he placed your legs back into his lap and he began to run his fingers along the smooth skin of your calves.

“Don’t lose your innocence y/n. It’s who you are, and it’s why I’m always around you. I honestly don’t even know what I would do if I didn’t have you to keep me from going overboard. I think I’d go insane,” Harry slightly smiled and shook his head at his own thought.

You smiled, looking back into his eyes that were no longer a dark, eerie shade of green. He trailed his fingers up until they danced along the small palm of your hand. Grabbing your wrist he brought the back of your hand against his soft lips leaving an airy kiss.

“You promise you won’t change?” Harry asked.

“I promise.”

[lifelesswithoutlove]

We Meet Again - Harry Styles Imagine Part 1

You sat there still as possible, trying to steady your shaking hands. Lips slightly parted to allow the breath you had been holding in, your eyes don't look away from his. It felt like a dream that you've had for several nights, since the day you two had ended things. And now there he was in the flesh, eyes more green than you last remembered and his eyebrows scrunched as he tried to focus on your face through the dark, thin air. It was almost like he was walking over to you in slow motion, his large hands clenched and then unclenched repeatedly; something he used to do when he was nervous.

And now here he was standing no further than two feet away from you across the table. But neither of you could speak nor tear your eyes away from each other. Eventually it was you who broke first, bowing your head slightly as your looked down at the food you no longer had the appetite for.

You watched from the corner of your eyes as Harry sat down across from you, his hands clasped together on the table.

"How long has it been?" His voice was smooth and calm, almost like hearing it for the first time again.

You looked up at him, his focused face not changing as you smiled slightly.

"Two years I think."

You watched as he scanned your face from forehead to chin, he licked his lips, something he did whenever he was thinking.

"Your hair is shorter," he stated.

"Your hair is longer," you responded letting out a laugh as he smiled looking down towards his hands.You watched his tense shoulders fall as he let out a relieved sigh, triggering you to do the same.

"I heard you were playing in town, didn't think I'd actually bump into you."

"I was hoping I would."

You just stared at him, not knowing how to respond. It’s like you said; things between you and Harry changed two years ago. An awkward silence fell between you two for a few minutes as Harry pieced together his thoughts.

“Y/n,” your eyes carefully watched him as he hesitated for a moment, “I know it’s been so long, but I’m telling you that I can feel it in my chest sometimes and I just need to know, now that you’re here, if you maybe feel it too. That sometimes out of no where my mind leads me to think of you, and that I miss you and maybe two years ago when thin-”

“Harry,” you interrupted in fear that if you didn’t, he would never stop rambling, “I don’t think that would be a good idea. I mean, relationships end for a reason and we broke up because-”

“Because of timing,” Harry placed his hands over your soft ones. The cold tingle of the his rings were a contrast from his warm palms, “and time has passed. Don’t you feel it too?”

“I’m not exactly sure I understand you,” you lied, knowing exactly what he meant by “it” and yes you could identify that feeling as it coursed from your fingertips throughout your body as you two currently sat in the busy restaurant.

It was the feeling you felt when you first met, two years ago at a mutual friends’ wedding, or when you two first kissed, or exchanged I love you’s. It was the feeling whenever you looked at him, or whenever you heard his deep laugh. It was a feeling that overpowered everything else for two long years of your life.

But it was the thought of possibly falling in love again with the same man for you to end up with the indescribable pain of heartbreak again.

Harry sighed getting frustrated, “Y/n please. Come to the concert tonight, and then after we can talk. This. We aren’t something that you can just let go.”

You slowly pulled you hands away from Harry’s as you took a deep breath, “Okay.”

[lifelesswithoutlove]

Julie Chen: [...] nobody remembers Austin saying that he has a girlfriend. [...] Austin isn't talking about his girlfriend. I think the majority of the audience doesn't even know he went into the house with a quote unquote "girlfriend." Uh excuse me, but Austin clearly stated in an interview before he went into the house that he has a girlfriend and would not start a showmance. And even when he was in the house he once again made his relationship status clear to Jace, saying that he is "in love" with his girlfriend. But...🐸☕️

[lifelesswithoutlove]

 Imagine: Married Life Series 

 "That would be lovely!" 

 "Ma, no! It's getting late actually. Y/n we should really get going," Niall insisted as he put his glass of beer down before turning towards you with a desperate look on his flushed red face; half of it from the drinking, and half of it from the embarrassment that was to come. 

 "No no, I have to show y/n! She might want to see what her future children could look like," Niall's mother demanded as she walked out of the dining room.

 You and Niall had just come back from your honeymoon, and decided that it was time to pay Niall's mother a nice visit. Who knew that dinner would turn into flashback memories of Niall's childhood and hints being dropped about kids by his mother.

 "Ma!" Niall shouted, shaking his head as he placed his arm around the back of your chair, you could feel the immediate warmth of him from his arm, and instinctively you leaned in slightly. "I'm so sorry." 

 Giggling, you reached up and ran your hands through his hair before giving him a light kiss on the cheek, "sorry for what?" 

 "The whole kid comment my mom made, she just wants more grandchildren. I mean no pressure...." Niall teased bumping his forehead against yours as you chuckled. 

 "Excuse me! Pressure's on you too buddy," you pushed your forehead so that you hit Niall hard enough for him to groan and move away.

 "Okay here it is! I can't believe that I never had these pictures developed until now," Maura frantically exclaimed sitting back down into her seat as she aggressively placed the album onto the table, nearly knocking over Niall's beer.

 "Ma relax!" Niall swiftly grabbing his beer before taking a huge gulp. You laughed as you brought you hand up to open up the photo album to see the picture of Niall when he was just a little boy. You could feel the warmth in your stomach as you saw the resemblance of the big blue eyes you love, fill the little baby face of young Niall. 

 "You are so cute" you whispered, as you felt Niall lean forward to look at the photo of himself. You watched from the corner of your eye as he ran his fingers along the smooth surface of the photo, the gleam of his wedding ring reflecting off the dim dining room light.

It was a weird yet calming thing to see Niall as a little toddler. To see the man that you love as a little child that you just want to cuddle and hold.

 And in this moment, you knew that everything was the way it was supposed to be. You knew that when you exchanged your vows three weeks ago, that you truly meant them. You could now see the family that you have dreamed of, but now with Niall. And although Niall could have absolutely no idea how the warm feeling of love was running through your veins right now, you smiled at him and hoped that he could see it. 

 "What?" Niall asked, clearly confused as to why you were smiling at him like a psycho. 

 "Nothing, it's just..seeing these pictures makes me think.." 

 You watched Niall face as he registered what you were trying to say before a calm smile appeared on his face, "Me too." 

 It was almost as if you two could see the love and the anticipation in each other's eyes.

 "Does this mean grandchildren?!" You heard Maura gasping from beside you.

 Without looking away from each other's gaze, the two of you slowly nodded.

[lifelesswithoutlove]

Imagine: Downhill Part Two

When you had asked for some space, you should’ve known that Harry would find a way around it.

He returned home a week after your fight, and neither of you have made attempts to see each other. But he would constantly call you and leave messages talking about his day, apologizing or telling you how much he missed you.

And you missed him too. But you still weren’t ready to talk to him. You had made up your mind that tonight, when the British Fashion Awards are on, you’ll get to see his face. And when you do, you’ll decide as to whether or not you’ll want things to go back to normal.

You tried to keep your mind off of tonight, while you were out with y/f/n, but now as you were sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn lodged in your lap, and y/f/n anxiously glancing at you from beside the couch, Harry was all you could think about.

“I wonder how he looks, considering the fact that he’s at a fashion award. God, I hope he doesn’t wear something weird like he has been lately. I mean, no offence.” Y/f/n blurted out, as she tried to lighten the mood.

“None taken,” you nervously smiled at her. The truth is, you were wondering how he looked too. Would he look tired and miserable because of this thing between the two of you? Would you be able to see the hurt on his face?

Those questions would be answered, because as you glanced up at the T.V from the popcorn, there Harry was. On the small little screen, you had full access to every little inch of his face.

He looked the same, mesmerizing and cheery. Not a single hint of sadness. And surprisingly that disappointed you. He’s been leaving messages about how hurt he is, but then there he is, looking perfectly fine. It made you wonder, is he covering up his sadness, or is he not as bad as he claims?

You numbly, watched the rest of the awards show, the same question popping into your head whenever you saw Harry acting all charismatic and charming. This had not helped at all. Before the show you felt things were getting better, and after seeing his face things just got more confusing.

You said goodbye to y/f/n and headed upstairs to your bedroom, hoping that maybe a goodnights sleep would clear things. But your phone in your hand vibrated, sending chills up your arm when you saw his name on your screen. You stared at the screen intently, wanting to pick up because you craved interaction with him, but eventually the name faded away and the vibrating stopped.

He had left a message, one that you were urgent to hear after seeing him through a screen. You took in a deep breath and pressed play as you listened to his voice ring through your ears.

"Hey y/n, it’s me. The awards are over now, so I’m just heading to the after party. I just wanted to call to let you know that I wish you could’ve been here with me, I didn’t have anyone else to make fun of people with. You would’ve loved laughing at some of the outfits people were wearing," there was a pause and you could hear Harry sigh through the phone, "I just want to let you know before you find out on twitter, that I ran into Kendall and Cara. I don’t want you to get worked up about it, I promise that it was an honest accident seeing them. And I just had to be polite and say hi, but there was nothing else. I really love you, I hope you know that. And I hope that soon I won’t have to leave messages and you’ll pick up. I’ve got to go now, but have a goodnight love,"

You logged onto twitter, seeing that Harry was right. Pictures of this encounter were all over your twitter feed. You studied the pictures carefully, trying to point out Harry’s facial expression, his body language, and Kendall’s as well. You didn’t feel jealous, because Harry actually called to explain things before himself, and it did look like a simple interaction.

But now you knew what you wanted to do. Tomorrow morning you would call him, and let him know how you feel.

[lifelesswithoutlove]

Imagine: Downhill part one

You sat on your bed, hands fidgeting with your phone as you tried so hard to listen to your friend talk about her day at work. You tried to seem happy as you listened away, but your friend’s worried glances made it clear that you weren’t doing a good job of hiding anything.

"So she told me that she could make a frappe like from star-"

The echoing vibrations once again interrupted y/f/n as she sighed, seeing the familiar caller ID.

"I’m so sorry, I’ll just turn it off," your voice cracked as you tried not to cry. All you wanted to do was get away from this problem and from him.

"Maybe you should just pick it up, he’s obviously urgent to talk to you," y/f/n suggested.

"No, it’s fine. I want to talk to you," you said as you kept your eyes glued to the screen, waiting for his name to disappear.

"Listen honey, you know I love you. and as a friend, I want you to talk to him. You can’t hide from your problems. I’ll just wait for you downstairs," y/f/n sympathetically said, patting your hand as she got off your bed and headed towards the door.

"No, please," you begged as you watched her glance at you before closing the door. Y/f/n was the only distraction from Harry, and now you were left alone with the elephant in the room.

You held your breath, and watched your phone vibrate twice more before hitting answer.

You could hear rustling from the other end, as if Harry was rummaging through cupboards. But then the noise stopped almost immediately after you picked up.

"Y/n, love? Why haven’t you been picking up? We haven’t talked in days. Is everything alright? Are you okay?" Harry frantically asked, meaning he had no idea what was going on.

You let out the breath you held, unable to string together words.

"Y/n?"

"I saw them. The pictures. I saw the pictures," you blurted out, your voice a lot calmer than you had expected.

"What pictures?" Harry bluntly asked.

"Of you. And those two girls, going back to your hotel at three in the morning."

Harry sighed heavily, the noise piercing through your ears, “y/n you know I would never, they just came back to hang out. The guys were there too, I was the first one to go back to my hotel room. You can ask any of the guys,”

The world was spinning in your head. For the first time, you couldn’t feel anything. You didn’t feel confident in his answer, but you also didn’t feel like he would cheat on you.

"Babe, you believe me right?" Harry asked, cutting through the silence.

"I don’t know."

This time Harry’s sigh came out more frustrated, which turned your sorrow into anger. He had no right to get angry at you when lately he’s been making the mistakes.

"Y/n I don’t want to go through this again. I love you, but you need to trust me," Harry spoke, as if he was lecturing you.

"It’s not just about that!" You angrily spat through the phone.

"What is going on with you?" Harry sarcastically asked.

"I hate this! I hate that you make me seem like I’m just some silly girl, who’s acting crazy. I don’t care if you hang out with other girls, but not when you’re seen with them at three in the morning going back to your hotel after partying. How the fuck is anyone supposed to trust someone that does that?"

"Y/n-"

"No Harry. I’m tired of your excuses for treating me like this. You don’t see Louis or Zayn doing this. You get all worked up when I don’t call you in a few days, but what about you? Why are you in L.A even though you’re not working? I let you fly back there instead of home, after Sydney."

"I’m just having fun. We’re so young, y/n."

You sighed, defeat and hurt finally taking over you as the anger slipped away, “I’m just tired,” you cried, “it feels like I’m always here, waiting for you with open arms, and you’re the one calling the shots. I don’t want to be out on the side anymore.”

"I’m sorry."

"I know."

White noise, and silence filled the bedroom, as you wiped away your tears. The both of you were defeated.

"I can’t do this anymore, Harry."

"Y/n please. I love you, we can get through this," Harry’s voice cracked as he begged, "please."

"You want to have fun. And I just, I just need some time."

"I can come home now, and we can talk about this," Harry frantically said.

"No, you’ll be back for the British Fashion Awards soon. We’ll talk then. I just really need some space,"

Again, it was silent for awhile proving that Harry didn’t like your decision.

But this time, it was you who called the shots.