When nothing seems right, go left.

My name's Alyssa and things are complicated.

[flowerwaller-deactivated2024121]

[pn719-deactivated20180104]

is it my body dysmorphia or am i really this fat: a novel by me

[warmsuggestion001]

I hope u end up ok

[isurvivedadeathwish]

I’m not trying to get rid of depression i’m trying to live with it

-Something i saw online that i think is very important

[xenxone]

[lifeofleftturns]

Tumblr got called the hell out in my textbook and I'm so glad that people see the toxicity of the ed community on this website.

[lifeofleftturns]

Even though I'm not hungry

Even though I had breakfast

Even though I feel fat

Even though I don't think I need it

Even though I don't think I deserve it

Even though it's hard

I eat anyway

[guiltygirl]

sometimes i feel like all i am is a disorder

[lifeisnotasaga]

[yj-7]

[unspokengrief]

im so scared the rest of my life is gonna feel like this

[lifeofleftturns]

I want to be proud of my body and the work I have put into it, but every time I try people give me really nice feedback.

And it freaks me out.

Because I feel like I have to live up to their compliments, leading me to extremes to ensure that the body they like does not change. Does not gain weight. Does not lose muscle tone.

I am so desperate for acceptance and approval; that even when I'm trying to be happy and proud of myself, I am still more strongly swayed by my need to appease.

[alkynesoftrouble-deactivated202]

Your disorder is not special. It is not beautiful. It will not make anyone love you. You are not a tragic hero.

You are special. You are beautiful. People love you for who you are, not for your illness. Those who would love you for a disorder only love to see you weak so they can feel strong. You don’t need them in your life, you are bigger than they are. There is no heroism in suffering. Heroism is found in pulling yourself out of the darkness.

[eljayetc]

[sheisrecovering]

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

[nicethingsinuglyhandwriting]

Still I rise // Maya Angelou.

[mitten]