Today represents 25 years to the day that I took an incredible step to change my life.
25 years ago I made the move to be true to myself and to those I love. It was on May 3rd, 1997, that I came out of the proverbial closet for the first time. I remember it so very clearly, nerves a wreck, and thinking over and over again that once it’s out, it can never be taken back.
I planned dinner at my place with my best friend from high school, Robin. We ate, we drank, we joked, we drank some more, and finally working up the nerve to tell her that I had something I needed to say, and then began crying. I know she knew, and I think she may have said as much, but encouraged me, and said it’s okay…say it. And then, I did. “I’m Gay.”
When someone says that old saying of “a weight lifting off your shoulders” it could not have ever been more true than at that moment. I felt free. I felt relief. I felt true, real, authentic, for the first time in my 23 years of existence. And I felt scared. I knew no gay people. It was going to be a long road to explore and make gay friends. I had to figure it out on my own at first. But I met people and leaned on others. I made plenty of mistakes (and still do!) and learned a lot (all while not being a slut, for a while at least. If anything, I was probably too much a prude for a few years. Really!).
The year 1997 was a very different time (25 years is eons in ‘gay years’), it really was in scope of how being gay was perceived. 1997 was the year Ellen came out on TV, and that was scandalous in its own way, but opened the door of public understanding for so many of us. There was no social media. The internet was still figuring itself out (Dial-up anyone?). No Will and Grace. No Mitch and Cam. Being lucky enough to grow up in California, I know I was afforded an easier time and better acceptance than so many others.
I just wish it didn’t have to be an issue for anyone. No one should have to feel the way I did hiding for all those years. The LGBTQ community has come so far, so fast really, in these 25 years, but there is so much progress to still be made: protecting our rights in the workplace, protecting children from the evils of therapy conversion, ensuring equality for the Trans community, allowing that kid in rural America to be able to be themself without fear. All especially in even more peril these days with recent hate laws spreading state to state.
I want to thank my family (Mom, sister and Bro-in-law, but especially my grandparents Ida and Art), all of my past boyfriends (and my man Rey) for putting up with me (I have learned from each and every one of you), and all of my friends (past, present and future) for being there for me. For supporting me. For encouraging me to be the real, true, better me.
andulkaphoto
gummygunk
dededos
janainaart
turnnoffyourmind