Y'all, can we start interacting with writers again please?
Like where did all the comments go? Where did all the genuine feedback in the tags go? Where did the silly gifs with reblogs go?
Like yeah we write for ourselves first but it can be super disheartening to post something we're super proud of only to get a field of crickets in return. Like we aren't fishing for compliments, we just want our readers to interact even if that means telling us something was badly written. We can't improve without feedback, we can't get inspired without knowing someone out there is excited for more....
(obviously this ain't about me, currently at least, cuz I ain't putting out content. But I hate to see my friends so down because nobody takes the time to say anything anymore. Like not even a "I really liked this"....it's not that hard people....)
An echoing room. A circle of chairs. A dozen people from all walks of life. Thereâs a lawyer. A dentist. A high school teacher. A cashier. A student. An Avenger. I donât remember what the others do, their introductions have already been removed from my brainâs memory.
Someone (a feminine voice) is speaking. I can only register broken pieces of her speech. ââŠWandaâ. Without my permission, my voice joins the choir of âHello Wandaâ that rebounds off the walls of the worn down room. My eyes flitter to take in the surroundings. The room is small and bleak, the only decoration is a wooden cross on the wall. The white paint is peeling off the walls, revealing a layer of green paint underneath.
âI realized I couldnât get through the day without my glass of red wine anymore.â I hear Wanda explain in the background. Iâve heard this story a hundred times before. Day after day, different people recount the same shameful story of how the thing they thought was their saving grace, the solution to all their problems, turned out to be their doom. Itâs the story of so many women and men who were struggling to stay afloat and reached for the only thing that would help them survive. And when that very thing destroyed the lives and relationships they had fought so hard to build, they stuck to it, sinking deeper and deeper into their addiction.
My mind doesnât stick around to hear Wanda's story. Itâs no different than the lawyerâs story, they become undistinguishable after a while. With every mouth that utters the words âI couldnât stop anymoreâ, the room seems to shrink, the walls closing in on me until they suffocate me and force me to escape to the outside world. For some reason, today my limbs donât move, they stay seated on the wobbly iron chair.
I have been where my companions are. I have woken up in the morning with my brain screaming for the bottle. But I got over it. I changed. I dried myself out and rewired my brain until even thinking of taking one sip felt forbidden. And I was doing well. For five years, I was the only owner of my thoughts and feelings. Every word that left my mouth was mine. Every step taken, mine. And then, suddenly, it all came to a halt. Like someone had pulled the emergency break on my world. Half a bottle of vodka is all it took.
One sip. I feel fine. This isnât so bad. Two sips, I wonât get drunk, I just want to loosen up and have a fun with my friends. Three sips. The voices in my head are growing quiet. The silence is blissful. Four sips. I can stop at anytime. Five sips. Why do I feel so nostalgic for this burning sensation that is spreading through my body? It keeps me warm, it makes me feel alive.
Six months pass by in a flash. The familiar warm feeling quickly becomes a heaviness that weighs down my body and strangles my thoughts. I get into more arguments. I fight with people I never want to fight with. I see the hurt and disappointment on my loved oneâs faces. I am trying to stop. I canât. I need someone to talk to, to confess my weakness. I donât have anyone. The loneliness is driving me crazy.
I am ripped back to the present by someone calling my name. âY/N! What is your story? Do you want to share with the group?â. Eleven pairs of eyes are staring at me, through me.
My story? My story is that of a person who made one bad choice, bringing out the worst version of themselves. Itâs the story of someone who lost control and fell for their biggest fear. Itâs the tale of a person that I donât recognize when I gaze at my reflection in the mirror. A dark creature that I donât want to be.
My mouth doesnât open. My body finally awakens from itâs rigidity and I feel my legs carry me across the room, through the door and into the rainy afternoon that awaits outside. The doubt that has been clouding my thoughts for weeks seems to have dissipated. I know who I am. I am not an alcoholic. I am a person who drinks and struggles to stop. But I can and I will stop. I have done it before. I will do it again.
idk it's just an idea. Nat leaves after Y/N hurts her.
One day. Itâs been one entire day since you last heard her laugh. Since you last saw her smile, although hesitantly. Since you last felt her love coat your entire being.
You spent the night with your eyes closed, hanging on to better times. As the light filters through the blinds you didnât close, your mind is robbed of its peacefulness and forcefully ripped back to reality.
This is one more day of hell. One more day of drowning in the shame of having hurt and disappointed the person you love most. 24 hours to miss her laugh and patience. 1140 minutes to see her features fade in your mindâs eye. You never thought that could happen. 864â000 seconds to drown in tears as the hurt in her eyes tears your heart apart. Just as many seconds to feel the last remains of hope drain out of your life.
One day turns into a week. Pretending to be okay has never been harder. Does nobody realize that the once bright and beautiful is now dull, gray, lifeless. People laugh, live, age as if nothing ever happened. You know better. You cannot remember what life was like before her and you have quickly learned that it is simply not worth living for.
One week, two week, three weeks. She is better off without you. You are only capable of hurting her, she deserves better. She deserves the entire universe. You are anything but that. You know she is not coming back. Numbness spreads through your limbs, willing them to forget how holding her in your arms felt. You will never feel that safe and unconditionnally loved again. She gave you her world and you burned it down. Thatâs on you, there is nobody else to blame.
A month. The pictures are still living in your phone. Looking at them is bittersweet. They breathe life into your hollow form and somehow fill you with hate towards yourself. Is that possible at the same time? You donât know, but apparently it is.
Two months. The messages she left in your phone are the biggest treasure you have. On the days you feel like giving up you scroll through them, reminding yourself that you once promised her to take care of yourself, to live. You will not break another promise. You force yourself to keep going, to wake up every morning to another day without her.
A year. You would recognize that laugh anywhere. Your entire body tenses despite your mindâs protest. Your eyes automatically dart to the person who emitted that beautiful sound. A grin appears on your face. Your hand raises, your fingertips brushing against your lips to check on the weird occurrence. You take her in. She looks different. The once dark brown hair is now an auburn color, the colored contacts gone, but itâs definitely her. Itâs different, but she looks as stunning as she ever did. Your vision seems fuzzy around her. As if your eyes were not meant to see the world but only her.
One breath. Two breaths. She is laughing, her arms wrapped around someone. Three breaths. She looks happy. Scratch that, she is happy. You know it. Even after all this time, your brain sees through all her shields and protective wards. Under them, she is glowing. Much like she did with you once. Four breaths. Your legs carry you away from her. Five breaths. She is happy. Thatâs all you ever wanted for her. The fire that you exstinguished is burning bright in her again. Itâs your turn to let her breathe oxygen into it. You can not suffocate her a second time. Six breaths. Your feet hit the pavement again and again, leaving her behind. Seven breaths. The breath catches in your throat, you stumble, hands heavy on your knees. Eight breaths. She is happy. She is happy without you. Nine breaths. Searing pain shoots through your heart, shattering it for a final time. Ten breaths. Eleven breaths. Please treat her well. Never extinguish her. Never hurt her like I did. Show her how loved she is, and make sure she never forgets. One final breath. Twelve months without her. One promise that you managed to keep. A lifetime to go to keep that promise. And itâs one that you will never break. You broke her trust, but that will never happen again. Even if she will never know. You will keep going, you will try and take care of yourself to the best of your abilities. She will never be hurt because of you again.
âNo, Iâm not ok. But I havenât been ok since I was 11, maybe 12. I am still here though. Iâm still breathing. For me, sometimes, that will have to be enough.â
if youâve picked up this scroll, you should run. put it down, turn on your heels, and run. never stop. never look back.
heed the warning, stranger, for this is not a happy story. itâs the haunted story of a girl who fell into the most dangerous trap of them all. you might be thinking of grief. or anger. you are wrong, wanderer. this trap is so wicked and treacherous that it fools even the most seasoned hunters and magicians. it side steps any logical explanation and renders the brains of those who are afflicted useless. given time it spreads, like an illness, across your entire soul. it will leave you boneless and brainless. and the worst part is that you wonât notice it until it is too late. until the curse has already befallen you and forever changed you.
this is the story of how a once fearless warrior became a coward. this, my friend, is the curse of love.
Hey everyone! This is a little different from what I usually post and hasnât been proof-read or edited but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!!
TW: none? lmk if I need to add anything pls
You had been feeling off lately. Like the world had suddenly turned gray and you just didnât know how to turn the colors back on. It was as if suddenly your world had stopped spinning and slowed down, leaving you to live your days in eternal monotony. It was as if everything and everyone around you had lost its meaning. The real world seemed so far away, blocked by a veil of sadness that you couldnât shake no matter how hard you tried. And covered by that veil, you were slowly unraveling. Sleepless nights had turned your eyes into sunken holes. The lack of water and food had your ribs sticking out of your skin more than usual. Your mind had slowly descended into a chaotic state that impeded you from fulfilling even the simplest tasks.
And yet, the one question you couldnât find an answer to was why. Why were you feeling like this? Had the world been turning grey at the corner of your eyes for a while, and you just hadnât noticed? Or had it taken over suddenly? What had triggered it? You couldnât remember. And somehow, you didnât care. Day after day, you had gotten used to it. The cold feeling was so familiar. Like going back to a place you had known all your life. It lulled you right into a state of numbness that felt as natural to you as the oxygen filling your lungs.
As the days passed, the mission reports you were supposed to be filing remained untouched on your desk. Every day, you would sit down, turn on your laptop, log into the system and stare at the screen. The hours ticked by, your fingertips flying over the keyboard keys, your eyes growing tired and your head hanging low. And yet, the pile of reports never shrunk. Reading had always been like a second nature to you, it usually required no effort. Now, your eyes dragged themselves along the lines, your brain incapable of comprehending the letters and words that it was seeing, as if they were from an ancient language that possessed characters you had never seen before.
You hadnât talked to anybody about it. Itâs not that you didnât want to. You had tried, but all you ever managed to say was that you were tired from work. It was a valid excuse. Afterall, you had been working on the dissolution of the original Avengers team for months. The decision to retire had been made on a random evening when Steve had mentioned retiring and starting a new career. And somehow, member after member, everyone had agreed, and they had concluded that they would all retire all together. Everyone except you and the new generation that is. While the team was leaving for good, you had decided to stick around for a little longer, you werenât quite done with the Avengers yet.
It had taken a lot of assessing, planning and trials to get to where you were now. The plan was made, most of the team had already moved out of the compound and was settling into their new routines. While some had decided to settle close to the city, others had chosen to go back to their homes across the country. You had chosen the latter. At least for the duration of your break and mostly because your family needed you.
Today, you were going back to the compound. The trip had been planned for quite some time as you still had to pack up some things and sort out some paperwork there.
The wind was ruffling your hair, the speedometer showing that you had by far surpassed the speed limit, but you were too deep in thought to notice. The closer you got to the compound, the heavier your bones seemed to become. As you parked your bike in front of the building and took off your helmet, exposing your disheveled hair, your eyes wandered to the familiar structure. It still looked the same. The walls were still painted in the same graphite color. The mat in front of the door still looked run-down from all the feet that had stepped on it. The bulletproof windows reflected the path that you had just driven on. Despite its flaws, some part of you felt at home.
You were making your way towards the door, ready to get your hand scanned and input your secret pin when Jarvisâ familiar robotic voice rung through the air. âWelcome back Y/N, is there anything I can do for you?â A small smile grazed your lips at the AIâs question. How many times had you heard that same exact question before when coming back from a mission? You had missed it. âHi Jarvis, is anyone here today?â you asked, while opening the doors. âNo, nobody is here. The house has been empty for quite some time, I fear. Anything else I can do for you?â âNo, thank you, Jarvis.â
Without waiting for the customary âYou are welcome, Y/Nâ, you directed your steps to the command center. It looked unused. The silence felt too loud. Like it wasnât supposed to be there, a foreign sound that had replaced the familiar cacophony of your teammates joking and scheming with each other. There were no overlapping conversations and commands being screamed across the room. No mission was displayed on the big screens that were built into the walls. Even the hologram table in the middle of the room was turned off.
Without even thinking, your hands had turned on the command system. The room came alive with a slow rumble, lights flickering all around as the screens turned on. If you concentrated hard enough, you could fool yourself into thinking this was just another morning. It wasnât unusual for you to be the first one to show up. After all, your friends loved to stay up until the early morning hours and rarely showed themselves before midday. But the reality was that the compound was empty. You were surrounded by a different silence, one that didnât match the usual wiring sound of Starks robots cleaning the building and the sound of the stairs creaking as people snuck into the kitchen for an early morning snack.
While your brain was running itself crazy analyzing the emptiness of the compound, a thought suddenly materialized in your mind. This was how it was going to be from now. The team had moved out. You were one of the few left. There would be no more whispering and laughing in the command center. No more grumpy âgood morningsâ and coffee cups collecting on the table. The sharp whistle of the kettle would be replaced by silence. There would be no more silent conversations with Steve while the others bickered. Natasha wouldnât appear out of thin air anymore, commanding everyoneâs attention. And Thor wouldnât be there every day to make sarcastic comments and make everyone laugh.
And just like that your excitement about being âhomeâ disappeared and your mood plummeted. This was all there would be from now on. The silence and you. The both of you, alone in the huge compound. As the realization settled in, your back slid against the wall, leaving you to settle on the cold floor. Your mind started replaying all the memories you had made with the team in that very building. They were much more than just your colleagues; they were your friends. You had lived your best moments and survived the worst with them. You had survived the Sokovia Accords that had threatened to split the team forever. You had fought through the endless missions that required the Avengerâs help, again and again. And been there for each other when one of you inevitably broke down. But you had also taken day trips together. You had spent entire nights laughing with them and teasing each other relentlessly. You had built a life together. And now it was gone.
The vibration of your phone suddenly ripped you from your daydreams. Wanda.
âHey there, is there anything I can do to help you with those reports? I know itâs a lot, tell me if I can help you in any way.âÂ
You chuckled and rolled your eyes. You had already told her countless times that you were fine on your own, that you would get the job done and that you wanted her to rest and enjoy her newfound free time. But she was stubborn like that. Somehow, it warmed your heart and made the darkness a little lighter.
Shaking your head, you dragged your limbs off the floor and towards the kitchen. Here too, the silence greeted you like a stab right through the heart. This was the spot where the team had spent most time together. It was also the best spot to exchange gossip and hear about the teamâs adventures. After all, is there anything better than sharing food and news with the people you love? You could see Sam shaking his head ânoâ in answer and an unbidden smile appeared on your lips. This was also the very same spot in which your friends had told you that you couldnât possibly do everything for everyone. And that you needed to start putting yourself first. Wise words. It had been a very much needed wake-up call.
Settling on a chair, you realized just how much you had changed since you had first entered these walls. Gone was the scared person who was so ashamed of herself that they were afraid to speak or reveal anything even remotely private. In their place stood a (more or less) confident person who had learned to open up. Or at least was trying their best to do so. Frowning, you tried to place yourself into your old self and remember your first day at the compound. You found that you couldnât. That person didnât seem like you anymore. This place really had changed you. And it wasnât only the things you had experienced or the work you had put in that had made you into who you were today. You had learned something from each of your team members. Thor had taught you to stand up for yourself and be unapologetic about you wanted. Wanda had shown you that loving yourself was not a burden, in fact, it was a necessity and nothing to be ashamed of. Natasha, as unlikely as it seemed, taught you to open up. Or well, forced you and then taught you. Sam had reminded you that fighting for what you want is always a good idea, that you were not obligated to let go of your dreams just because someone deemed them unrealistic. And Steve? He had taught you that being quiet and reserved didnât mean that you couldnât have a place in the group. And that being part of the group did not mean that you couldnât allow yourself time to breathe away from it.
Most of all, they had taught you that you could open up, that you could let yourself break and that they would be there for you. In a world that had taught you to hide yourself behind a stone mask and never let anyone see your weakness, they had reminded you of your softer nature. They had reminded you of how to feel things instead of locking them away. For the first time in years, you had felt human. And it had hurt. But it had also felt incredibly empowering. Like finding a piece of yourself you had been missing all along but hadnât known how to find. They had reminded you of what love, real love, not conditional one, really felt like. The more you let yourself think, the more the darkness seemed to weigh on you. When had you stopped talking to them? When had you stopped randomly checking in? You knew the answer. But knowledge and acceptance were two very different things. You let your head drop into your hands.
âYou know we are always here for youâ. Itâs Thorâs voice, ringing in your head. âI always have time for youâ. Steve. âWhen you feel like talking, Iâm hereâ Wanda. âHey, youâve been very quiet lately, are you okay?â Natasha. âDo you want to talk about whatâs going on?â Sam. They had been there all along. You had never really been alone. You had just refused to acknowledge it and had reverted to your old ways of shutting everyone out. And the why was easy. You were scared. Scared of how lonely you felt when they werenât around. How much you depended on them. Scared that one day those messages would turn into simple âhappy new yearâsâ messages that you never responded to. Abandonment issues. That was your damn problem. The thought of not seeing them every day, not having them with you at the compound scared you shitless and, in your mind, it was better to detach yourself from them before they could abandon you and leave you broken. It wouldnât be the first time someone did that. Somewhere deep down, you knew it was an irrational fear. They were not like that. And yet, you were still isolating yourself.
Determined, you spoke up: âJarvis, where is Natasha? Shouldnât she be in the city?â The answer came quick: âMs. Romanoff is currently at work. Would you like me to call her for you?â âNo, thanks Jarvis. I think Iâll drop by myselfâ. And with that, you were off. You had other obligations later in the afternoon but seeing Nat was worth a detour.
Once again speeding down the highway towards the city, you wondered whether it really was a good idea to just show up at Natâs workplace. It would most likely bother her. Or was that only in your head? Well, you were already on the way, no turning back now. You quickly dropped by the grocery shop to get her a fresh drink and dragged your feet to the coffee shop. Anxiety was gripping your bones, leaving cold sweat to drip down your back. Nervously, you stood in line to get a coffee. Somehow, you realized, your heart wasnât beating out of your chest, despite the anxiety coursing through your veins, you felt safe.
Natasha hadnât seen you yet. She looked a little tired and you were happy you had at least thought of getting her a little reinforcement. Was it even appropriate to just drop by while she was working? You didnât have time to think about it because she spotted you in that exact second. Natâs face changed from surprise to confusion and to some kind of happy in a matter of seconds. Her face was hidden behind a mask but if the little twinkle in her eyes was any indication, coming to see her had been the right thing to do. One shy wave, little glances and it was already your turn to order. âHey sunshine, thought Iâd surprise youâ you croaked out.15 minutes later you were sitting in the corner of the shop, an iced coffee in front of you. You had pulled out your laptop with the intention to get some work done but to be completely honest, you had barely managed to turn it on before your attention had shifted. Your eyes were wandering across the shop, taking in the constant flow of customers, and finally settling on your friend. Automatically, you recalled her reaction and a watery smile materialized on your face. The light going off in her dark eyes. The honest smile and the little kick of energy that had suddenly been ignited in Nat were everything you had missed. There had been no hug and although you would have love nothing more than one of Natâs warm, tight hugs, the warmth and feeling of being loved that was spreading in your chest was everything you had needed to feel better. Not so surprisingly, the cold loneliness and fear that had been suffocating you for weeks slowly melted away from your body. Breathing felt easier, like you had been freed of a huge weight. The world seemed to shine a little brighter and even the future looked a little less glum. You were at peace.
Somehow, that single little smile and the little twinkle in Natâs eyes, were enough for you to know that youâd be okay. Because you were finally not alone in the world anymore. You had found your family. And maybe, just maybe, when the next wave of sadness inevitably came, you could just let them know how you were feeling. And you wouldnât been alone in your fight against it anymore.
As you were thinking about all of this and trying to inconspicuously wipe away the tears that were flowing down your cheeks, a funny thought stumbled into your mind. Maybe happy ever after really did exist, just not like in the way fairytales described. Maybe being happy meant having the freedom to fully be yourself and to be able to share yourself with people who loved you unconditionally.Â
Hey there! I am aware that the change is quick in this one, it might not be your favourite but I hope you enjoy it anyways :) I know it starts out slow but I promise Nat is in there
TW: talks of depression, swearing - lmk if I need to add anything else
You had felt it coming. The shadows that usually occupied the edge of your consciousness had been slowly creeping their way into your everyday life. Making tears stream down your face at any given moment. They would assault you during the many sleepless nights, making your worst fears come true in your dreams. Sometimes, they would attack during the day, when sunshine made you feel safe. You would be sitting somewhere when your breath would grow shallow, your eyes suddenly burning with unshed tears as anxiety gripped your limbs.Â
It wasnât the first time this had happened. The first time, you thought to have valiantly defeated the darkness that dwelled within. But later on, when tears had turned in rivers, leaving you to find a shelter from the storm that you always failed to find, you understood that the storm was coming, and that you couldnât escape it. Thunder, disguised as anger and insecurity, had shaken the strong foundation of self-love you had struggled so hard to build. Thunder was always followed by lighting. And lighting came, pouring down on you, stabbing you when you least expected it.Â
The storm had always stayed, refusing to disappear, no matter how hard you tried to ignore it. There was no escape. Tears would fall like rain, the thunder growing louder, evil thoughts taking over your mind, forcing you into a dark, hidden corner. Then came the pain of old wounds reopening, like rubbed by coarse salt and worn down by a constant downpour.
You had felt it coming. And yet, even after all this time, you had decided to hide. A futile effort of escaping a part of yourself. But running away seemed to be ingrained in your being. The darkness always came back, crashing on the shoreline with never-ending dedication. You let it erode you, like a cliff becomes worn down by rain and erosion.Â
You let yourself sink into the dark waters, further and further, the storm raging above you, long forgotten. Fighting against the strong currents felt useless. There was no strength left for it. As whatever light faded, you let yourself be lulled into a deep sleep, your sense dulling, your breath slowing, the darkness becoming one with your cowering light.
While you were dragging along the bottom of the ocean, someone had reached into the strong currents, grabbing your hand and tugging at it. And they kept tugging and tugging until you were slowly forced to make your way towards the surface. Towards the lights. As your eyes adapted to the ever increasing light, you saw blurry emerald green eyes and red hair looking down on you, an encouraging smile painted on their lips.
From day that forward, the shadows had no choice but to retreat into the forgotten abyss of your mind. Every single day, Natasha would remind you why living on the surface and staying afloat was worth it. She would take you on dates to the luna park, bring you your favorite dumplings when you didnât feel like eating, hold you when the darkness attacked once more. She taught you to float, to fight your fears and anxiety instead of running from them. And so, you became stronger. You let your hardships strengthen you, until drowning was not an option anymore.
Seven years later, Natasha had retired, deciding to build a future with you. On one early morning, she had woken you up with kisses and obvious excitement. Never one to enjoy mornings, you had groaned, trying to bury your head under the pillows. But that didnât last. Nat had grabbed your waist, flipping you towards her and letting you bury your head in her neck. You had just gotten comfortable when you heard her whisper into your ear. It had sounded like âLetâs get marriedâ but that couldnât be it, could it? You had snapped your head up, staring into her eyes, your jaw slacked. She had only let out a chuckle, pushed your mouth closed with her fingertips and repeated her sentence. You had still been staring at her when your eyes had started watering. You didnât need words for Nat to understand what you were thinking of. With one single sentence, you had re-lived your entire life, from the deepest sea and storms to this very moment. A soft smile had appeared on your face, tears of happiness streaming from your eyes unbidden. âLetâs get marriedâ you had confirmed just before letting out a laugh.
Summary: reader and Nat have been together for years when Nat disappears on a mission. Reader tries to deal with the disappearance.
Warnings: a little angst? lmk if i should add anything else!
it's not the best but i hope you like it anyways :)
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I could feel the gentle caress of her fingertips against my cheeks, bringing me to life as her other hand intertwined with mine. Her hot breath turning into little clouds in the cold starry night. I looked up slowly, looking into her eyes. Those green eyes that seemed to reflect the stars that shined in the dark sky. Those eyes that had gazed at me for the first time years ago with such intensity that my heart skipped a beat. They still held the same spark and told stories of a live that had been lived to its fullest. "Close your eyes" she said, but I didn't want to. I could have spent an eternity staring into her eyes, feeling whole and happy. Feeling like I had finally found my home."Close your eyes, I'm not going anywhere. I promise" she said again and this time I listen, feeling my world go dark slowly, the stars turning into tiny lights behind my eyelids. "I love you".
A whisper, an echo, a memory of a moment that I had forgotten existed, brought up by the exhaustion that had been settling heavy in my bones for months. I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling, I'm in our bed, nobody by my side.
It was just a dream. More of a memory really. It was the day that Natasha proposed to me. She had planned an entire trip for the both of you, taking time off from the Avengers, so I had known it was important. Nat had been my girlfriend for three years but I almost didnât recognize her with the nervous waves that were radiating off her. She had taken us to a hill from which we could see the entire city and the ocean that coasted it. I had been too mesmerized by it to realize that Nat had used gotten on one knee and was now holding out a beautiful ring.
The little cough she let out and the nervous âY/Nâ were enough to make me turn towards her, my breath catching in my throat. A soft smile grazed her lips, the type of smile that nobody else got to see, that was reserved only for me. The smile that made my knees go weak and my entire body warm up, as if I were being engulfed in a warm hug. Looking up at me, Nat softly whispered âY/N, will you stay with me forever?â. I had been too stunned to speak so I fallen to my knees, grabbed her beautiful face and simply kissed her. The both of you just knelt there, foreheads touching and breathing in the moment.
After a while, Nat separated from me, ring still in hand and interrupted the quiet: âthatâs a yes, right?â before letting out a small giggle. In true Natasha fashion, I had rolled my eyes and nodded my head. The two of us had simply laid there, staring at the stars and exchanging soft caresses in the dark, illuminated only by the moon. That night, we decided to just sleep out there.
Nat, as always, had been prepared. The trunk of the car held several blankets, two sleeping bags and even a tent. We both agreed to leave the tent and simply sleep on the ground, cuddled in sleeping bags. After an exciting day and an ever more exciting evening, I was struggling to stay awake. I didnât want to close my eyes, I wanted this moment to last forever. That was when Nat told me to close my eyes, that she was never going to leave. We had fallen asleep under the stars, holding each other and dreaming of forever together.
It has been four years since that day. Four years of laughter, bickering and living together. Years of loving each other and fighting with each other, just to make up hours later because neither of us could stand being apart from the other for too long. Then had come the call.
Usually, Natasha would call me as soon as she made it to the quinjet so I knew she was safe. When the call hadnât come after the planned three day, I assumed that the mission was taking longer, as it had many times before. But the call from Fury froze the blood in my veins. He never called unless something had gone wrong. Fingers trembling, I had picked up the phone, my brain unable to register what he was saying. Nat. Explosion. Disappeared. Canât find her. Sorry Y/N. That was all I had been able to comprehend before letting my body sag onto the bed. Tears streamed out of my eyes, my entire body went cold, and I had cried until the shaking stopped and the tears didnât come anymore. Then, I had composed myself, trying to adopt Natâs steely attitude, and dragged myself to the compound.
The team spent months looking for her. I tried to help as much as I could, basically moving into the compound and working with Tony to track her. But every time one of them came back empty handed, my heart broke a little further. I had become numb, working like a machine during the day and being plagued by nightmares at night.
After 8 months of unsuccessful searching, I went back to our house and spent weeks without talking to anyone. Yelena would come by and bring me food. She stayed, tried to pull me out of my withdrawn state and told me stories of when her and Nat were kids. I didnât respond at the beginning, telling her that those stories didnât matter anymore. She kept telling them until one day, I couldnât help the small snort that escaped my lips. Yelena was telling me about the time Nat and her had cheekily tried to prank Melina by replacing her favorite tea with dirt from their yard. Needless to say, the prank had miserably failed and the girls had ended up in their room for the rest of the day.
Bit by bit, with Yelenaâs help, I started to feel better. The nights werenât as scary anymore, even though the bed that held room for two was only occupied by me. I secretly still waited, hoping that by some miracle, my Nat, my wife and everything, would walk through the door and throw a lopsided grin at me.
It had been another night of tossing and turning endlessly before falling into a restless sleep when this memory had shown up. Looking at my nightstand, Natâs alarm clock glared at me. 2am. I only slept three hours. I start thinking of Nat, talking to her as if she were still here. âWhere are you, my love?â I whisper into the dark. But thereâs no answer.
The moon is shining through the small window of our bedroom, making the ring on my finger sparkle. She seems to want to tell me what I have known all along. She is gone. But she is everywhere at the same time. She is in the books that still fill the library, in the mug with the chipped rim and in the clothes that still hold her perfume. I can feel her presence anytime I walk by the fountain were we first met, the coffee place where the barista knows our order and the museum where we spend hours dreaming about a different life.
I slip out of bed and out the door, into the cold winter air. The sky is clear and the stars are shining brightly, like they are trying to tell me something. And it's in this moment that I understand what I have been missing all along. She is not gone, I cannot hold her in my arms or laugh with her but she is in me. She is a part of me that I will never forget, that will never leave me. My eyes are burning with the unshed tears that I have refused to let run free since she disappeared. My throat closes up and a strangled laugh escapes unbidden. I stand there, in the icy night, laughing quietly. And for first time in forever, I feel free. Because I know. There's an absolute certainty that settle in every fiber of my being. I will see her again under the bright stars. And we will dance and laugh together again. In another life, one that will come after the one that I still have to live for both of us.
This is my first try at writing, so pleeease don't be too harsh on me :)
Trigger warning: some (barely there) cussing, mention of dead best friend and sister, mentions of time travel? lmk if there's anything else I should add
Summary: You find a letter from the future that promises you a life of happiness. But there's more than one letter. But who is the second one from?
2.7k words
âHey Y/N,
I am really not supposed to write you this letter and if anyone found out that I am they would get really mad at me. But itâs okay, Iâll take that risk. You are probably wondering who I am. To make it simple, I am you. But from the future. I know, I know, time travelling doesnât exist and who am I to tell you otherwise. Well, take a leap of faith and believe me just this once.
I am currently sitting in bed writing you this. I could stay like this forever. Yel is softly snoring on my shoulder, itâs the cutest thing ever. I love seeing her so relaxed and free of sorrow. But I regress from the actual purpose of this letter.
The world as you know it is about to change. I canât tell you what will happen because it might jeopardize the timeline but let me tell you this one thing: itâs going to get better someday.
I know that right now you are at your lowest, you canât eat, you canât sleep, and you feel more alone than ever. It gets better, I promise. Hang in there. Just when you think you know everything that life has to give you, you will meet someone in the most random place, and they will save you. They will show you that the pain doesnât last forever, that you can trust people, that you are worthy of love. Because you are. They will give you a family and a place to call home. And you will love them endlessly for it. I know you donât believe me right now, but some day youâll see that I was right. Maybe, youâll realize it when you first see their greenish hazel eyes, or when theyâll look at you one night and tell you that they are there to stay. And for the first time in your entire life, youâll believe them.
I am here to remind you that you canât give up. Because I am happy, I have a family, I have something worth fighting for. And you will too one day. So, hold on, bite through the pain, and keep going. I know itâs painful but donât give up.
Love always,
Future Y/Nâ
You had found the envelope just minutes ago, as you had walked into your apartment. Your empty coffee mug and keys in hand and backpack on your shoulder, you had let yourself fall onto one of the kitchen chairs. Exhausted, the backpack had landed on the floor besides your feet and your head had hit the table with a loud thump. As your hands had reached up to massage your aching temples, they had been halted by an unknown object. Snapping your head to look at it, you had seen the envelope. It was bare except for your complete name written in black ink.
Confused and panicking, you had quickly gotten up to check all the windows and made sure they were closed. The front door had been locked and you had only been gone for an hour. Where had the letter come from? Who had put it there? And how did they know your name?
The scribbles on the previous written pages looked like yours. The bent letters and words that seemed to all melt into one because you were too lazy to separate them by lifting the pen. The lined pages had been ripped out of a notebook; the pen had been smudged by the writerâs palm. It looked exactly like the notes that you took during classes. More confused than ever, you looked at the envelope the letter had been hidden in but saw nothing.
You kept looking around the empty apartment, expecting someone to jump out and tell you it was a prank. But nobody showed. And you really didnât have anyone who could show up. At that thought, all the fear over an intruder disappeared and left you to plunge in the dark abyss that had been inhabiting you for months now. You didnât have anyone who cared about you anymore. Your best friend was gone, you didnât have a family, you were completely alone in the world. Your eyes swelled with tears, your body started shaking as you slid down the wall and cowered in the corner of your kitchen. Envelope still in hand, you looked at the cruel lines on the letter. How could someone tell you that it was going to get better? Who would be so cruel? As the tears running freely down your cheeks blurred your sight and you buried your head in your arms, you heard a soft thud beside you. Looking at the source of the sound, you saw a folded sheet of paper that must have fallen out of the now crumpled envelope. Frowning, you picked it up and started unfolding it.
The single page was unlined, covered in red ink and unknown (incredibly messy) handwriting. Your tired and puffy eyes drifted across the page, trying to find something that could spark your interest. Too tired for your brain to comprehend anything it was seeing, you glanced at the bottom of the page, looking for an indication as to who wrote the letter. After a few seconds, you found a very small âForever yours, Yelena Belovaâ crammed in the bottom right corner of the page. Who was Yelena Belova? You searched your brain for someone with that name, but it didnât ring a bell. Confused, tired, and slightly irritated at this intrusion in your apartment, you started deciphering the red smears.
âHey Y/N,
I need to be quick before you wake up and ask why I am not in bed. Yes, yes, I shouldnât have sneaked out of bed to read the letter you were just writing, but I am a curious person. And if you are really gonna plant a letter in your past and sabotage the timeline, I want to be part of it.
Anyways, back to you, Y/N. You donât know me yet. And as my wise wife already mentioned, we canât tell you what is going to happen and how the world will change. Knowing you, you are slightly angry at the intrusion in the safe space that is your apartment, sorry for that. I need to tell you some things.
We are going to meet in the most unexpected place and form the most unexpected bond. It will take us years before we get to be happy and finally be at peace. But neither of us would want it any other way.
Your future self, my everything, is currently sprawled out on our bed, taking up the entire space as usual. You donât know me yet, but I love you. I love how you make me feel like I am worthy of being loved, of how you make me feel safe in your arms. I love that despite everything you have been through, you are the nicest and warmest person I have met. You will never deny someone your help and will go out of your way to make sure that the people you love are cared for. You donât know me, but I know you. I know that you love to wake up a little earlier so we can cuddle before we get started with our days. I know that you love surprises, although you would never admit it. I know that sometimes you struggle with your mental health and beat yourself up for it, but I couldnât be prouder of you for trying to get better. You donât know me yet but know that I love you endlessly and that I will always be here for you. You are my home. You are the person I love most in this entire universe and the only person I am willing to give up everything for.
Forever yours, Yelena Belovaâ
The tears streaming down your face had intensified, you could barely see the letter in your shaky hands anymore. A strange sense of warmth had spread in your limbs, leaving you with a calmness that you hadnât felt in months. Slowly, you scanned both letters again. A heaviness settled on your body, your eyelids growing heavy as you slowly slipped into a deep sleep. Your mind was still reeling, trying to comprehend everything it had read. Your dreams were filled with disconnected phrases from the letters, one of the voices sounding suspiciously like your own, the other, a velvety and warm voice, lulled you into deeper sleep. You saw the world ending, the Avengers fighting and losing, you saw people simply disappear and somehow come back.
When you opened your eyes again, the kitchen had fallen into darkness. You slowly stretched your limbs, giving yourself the time to wake up. Your cold hands were still clutching the letters, the envelope lay beside you on the floor. Carefully, trying not to get up to fast, you made your way back to the living room and the table on which the envelope had been laying. Checking your phone, you saw that you had slept quite some time. Night had fallen and with it, the city outside your windows had quieted to a lilting cacophony of car honks, people laughing and screaming on the streets and the occasional police siren buzzing by the building. Letting the letters fall on the table, you rubbed your tired eyes. Could it be possible? Or was someone playing a joke on you? You dragged yourself to the kitchen, aware that the groceries still needed to be put away. You stopped in front of your white fridge door and stared at the pictures that were hanging there. You were smiling and laughing in all of them, your beautiful best friend at your side. What you wouldnât give to hug them just one more time, to laugh like you didnât have a worry in the world. Sighing, you grabbed the full grocery bad and started emptying it. Butter goes to the top shelf, together with the milk. Cabbage and salad in the vegetable drawer. Frozen pizza in the freezer. Turning around, you put away the mac and cheese boxes. You really didnât know why you kept buying it, you didnât even like it all that much.
Moving to your bedroom, you dropped the letters in the last drawer of your bedside table. You were determined to forget about them. Slipping under the covers of your bed, you scrolled mindlessly through Tumblr until sleep took over.
*3 years later*
You had forgotten about the letters sitting in your bedside table. A lot had changed since then. The people who had disappeared with Thanosâ actions had reappeared with the Blip and the world was slowly starting to look normal again. You still lived in the same apartment but had just changed jobs and were starting to get used to your new life. Today was your first day working for Bishop Security and you were equally excited and terrified at the prospect of it. Taking a deep breath, you entered the building and give your details to the security agent.
You were happily telling her about the news and how the world was starting to regain its usual life when a voice made you jump out of your skin. âWho are you?â Startled and trying to get your heartbeat to slow down, you turned around. In front of you stood a blonde woman, about your age, with piercing green eyes and dressed in dark wash jeans and a brown vest. Looking you up and down, the woman repeated, her voice taking an icy tone âWho are you and why are you sitting there?â. Too stunned a the womanâs beautiful face and the fear that was still gripping your bones, you struggled to get your words out âY/N, Iâm Y/Nâ. Her gaze softened as she saw how nervous you seemed to be. âWell Y/N, you are sitting on my sisterâs grave.â Looking down, understanding dawned on you and you scrambled to get off the patch of green grass that was sitting besides your friendâs resting place. âOhmygodimsosorry, I didnât mean to â I â Iâm so sorryâ you kept rambling as she just looked at you, an amused grin replacing her scowl. âItâs alright, just move a couple feet to the sideâ. She was now chuckling, her eyes sparkling in the afternoon sun. âYes, sure, sorry, I was just leavingâ. Again, the mysterious woman cut you off âYou donât need to leave, I didnât wanna chase you awayâ. Nervously, you looked at her, gulped and whispered âAre you sure? I donât want to botherâ- âYea, stay. I wonât be long anyways, and you looked like you were deep in conversationâ. At that, you feel your entire face blush a deep red as you stammered that it really wasnât a conversation and that you werenât crazy. âChill, I wasnât teasing you, I talk to her too.â She said, indicating the headstone besides your best friendâs. You spun your head to look at the headstone she was pointing to. Natalia Alianovna. âOh. Iâm sorry for your lossâ Stupid, you are so stupid. You, better than anyone, knew that those words were completely meaningless and brought no comfort at all.
Scratching at your neck, you looked up at her just in time to hear her whisper a quiet thank you. You sat back down, this time directly on the path that was stood parallel to the graves. In the corner of your eyes, you saw the stranger sit down in the same position in front of her sisterâs grave. You were too nervous to look at her, so you concentrated on resuming your previous monologue. You told your best friend all about the cute barista that she had been crushing on, how they had finally fixed the plumbing issues in your building and many more. Yet your thoughts wouldnât leave the mysterious stranger beside you. âWho is she? Why is she here? To see her sister, obviously dumbass. Why am I so attracted to her? And why did I make a fool of myself in front of her?â You could hear your best friendâs snicker in your mind and her teasing about all the different shades of red you had adopted during the short conversation.
a/n: Hey! I don't know if you guys have seen these new photos of Flo or not (attached below) but I just felt love struck when I saw them. So much so that I HAD to write a fic inspired by them...so, I hope you enjoy it!
Word Count: 2090
Concept: You go to a coffee shop where you meet a short-haired brunette that has you falling head over heels.
Warnings: Not much, mainly just some fluff, NOT proofread.
You were in LA for the week on a girl's trip but were originally from New York. You and your friends just wanted to get away for a bit somewhere warm because winter in NYC can get very cold. None of you had been to LA before so this was a whole new experience for the three of you. You are naturally an early bird but your friends always sleep in, so, youâre alone for probably a good three hours every morning. Today when you woke up, you knew they were not going to be out of bed any earlier than noon since the three of you were out late clubbing last night. You decided to go to a nearby coffee shop and sit down to edit some of the photos youâve taken on your trip so far. You love taking photos of people whenever you go somewhere new. You never sold these pictures as they are ones that you technically donât have consent to take but itâs sort of like a small passion project of yours. Other than that, you are an architecture photographer as your full-time job. With photography as a passion and you already being three days into the trip, you had a whole SD card of pictures to edit. So, you grab your camera bag and head out the door, being sure to leave a note behind in case they do get up earlier.
You found a nice quiet coffee shop near your hotel, not a Starbucks but a genuine coffee shop where they took pride in making their drinks as opposed to pumping as many of them out each hour as they could. You get a latte and settle down in a seat near a window at the back of the coffee shop. It was only you and a couple of other people there as it was still fairly early. You figured this place doesnât get super busy as it was fairly secluded from the main streets of LA and not a major franchise. You sat there for what felt like an hour sifting through photos and 2 coffees and a scone later you were finally ready to start editing. As you eject your SD card and put it back in your camera you look up to see a brunette walking through the door of the coffee shop.
You were honestly stunned by this human being. She was beautiful in every way imaginable Her smile, her hair, her eyes, oh my gosh her nose. She had the most perfect nose. You knew you had to take a photo to add to your LA collection of portraits so you turned your camera on and started focusing your lens as she had her coffee order taken. You snapped a few photos and while your head was looking down at the tiny screen on your DSLR you hear someone talking.
âHello.â A beautiful thick British accent says. âHello? Hi.â
You look up not realizing she was talking to you. âOhâ Hi! Sorry, I didnât realize you were talking to me.â You say with a smile.
âYeah uh, sorry, but I was just wondering if you could not post those?â
âPost?â You respond confused.
âYeah, the pictures? You were taking photos of me, right? Sorry, I just, I know itâs your job as paparazzi to take photos and sell or post them but I have successfully kept this coffee shop one of my quiet places when I come to visit LA and I would like to keep it that way.â She says in a genuine tone.
Did you take a photo of a famous person and you didnât even realize that they were famous?
âOH! Iâm sorry. I didnât mean to intrudeââ
âNo, no, itâs okay. Like I said, I know itâs your jobââ
âNo!â You abruptly cut her off. âSorry, I just, Iâm not a paparazzi.â
âOh?â
âYeah, I um, Iâm just a photographer and I have this small little passion project thing I do where I take pictures of people that stand out to me when I travel around the world. Itâs sort of like a side thing I do for personal enjoyment. Otherwise, Iâm shooting architecture.â
âOh my goodness, I am so sorry. I didnât mean to assume, itâs just been a really crazy week with people following me around and this is the one place I come to get away from it all.â
âNo, I totally understand. I can delete the photos if youâd like?â You say as you turn your screen towards her and show her the raw photo you took.
âNo that wonât beâ Woah. Thatâs a great photo. You took that just now?â
âYeah.â You say with a smile.
âThatâs amazing work uhâŠâ
ây/n.â
ây/n. Thatâs amazing work y/n. Also, you have a beautiful name I must say. Iâm Florence by the way.â
âItâs nice to meet you Florence.â
âItâs lovely to meet you.â
âFLORENCE!â You hear yelled from behind her as the barista holds up her drink.
âLooks like that's me, it was nice chatting with you.â
âAnd you!â
You continue to edit your photos as she turns around and walks to get her coffee, thinking that was the end of that interaction when suddenly you hear, âHey again, would you mind actually if I sat down and watched you edit some photos?â
âYeah of course!â You say in an eager tone. Itâs not often that someone shows this much interest in your work.
âI took these when I travelled to Venice about a month ago.â You say, showing her the different portraits you took on your trip.
âWow. y/n, you have some serious talent love. Do you sell prints or anything of your work?â
âNot really, not too many people are interested. I live in a really small apartment with my best friends in New York and it is seriously overpriced and working as a photographer isnât really cutting it. When I head back after this trip I think Iâm going to have to get a different job and just do photography as a hobby.â
âNonsense! Thatâs ridiculous. You need to be taking photos y/n! Your work is just amazing, you have a great eye and I think I know someone who would agree.â
âI have an ex-boyfriend, his name is Zach Braff, we are still close but I know he would love your work and heâs actually working in New York right now.â
âSorryâŠZach Braff? Like the popular actor from Scrubs? You dated him?â
Florence just sort of chuckles at your response. âYes.â
âOh my gosh, Florence, I feel terrible, I feel like I should recognize you but Iâm so sorry nothing is coming to mind. Is there something I might have seen you in?â
âItâs okay! Itâs honestly refreshing meeting someone who isnât talking to me just because Iâm famous.â
âWell, I must say, you are quite lovely to talk to.â
Her cheeks turn a shade of red at your kind words.
âWell, thank you. You are too and Iâd love to hire you to do some work for me. Your stuff is seriously amazing. Plus, Iâm heading to New York to shoot a movie next week so if we exchange contact info we could maybe meet up?â
âSure! That would be amazing. Thank you so much.â
âOf course. Oh, and to answer your question, I havenât been in too muchâŠnot sure if you are a Marvel fan but I do play one character in that universe. Yelena Belova, Natasha Romanoff's sister.â
Your eyes feel like they grow three times in size and blood is rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment.
âOhâ There it is aha.â She says. âLooks like something clicked.â
âOkay, well. Now I feel even worse for not recognizing you. I want to say the new hair and different accent is what messed me up but honestly, thatâs just totally on me. I am so sorry. But! I did love you in Black Widow and Hawkeye.â You say with a grin.
âThank you. I hope this doesnât change anything between us? I just want you to see me as the same old Florence, the person that you randomly met in a coffee shop and not famous actor Florence.â
âYes, of course. Besides, it was your natural beauty that had me taking pictures of you in the first place.â You say with a cheeky grin and in a teasing tone.
âOh stop it,â Florence responds giving you a little nudge on your arm that causes the two of you to start laughing. âYouâre not too shabby yourself y/n.â
You felt yourself blushing again at Florence lightly flirting with you. You look up at her and just for a second get lost in her eyes as the sun was coming through the window just right.
âY/n?â
âYeah! Sorry. I just um, zoned out.â
âNo problem, I was just asking for your number.â
âOh my number! Yes, for sure, sorry let me write it down for you.â You pause for a second in place. âActually Flo, could I um, could I take another photo of you? I just, I have this vision that Iâm seeing right now.â
âOh? Yes! For sure. Let me see the master at work.â She says with a chuckle.
You pull out your camera again and take a few scoots backwards in your chair as you pull the viewfinder up to your face. You couldnât help but smile when you saw how beautiful she looked with the sun naturally highlighting her face. She noticed your smile behind the camera which caused a big one to come across her face. She was grinning ear to ear.
âYou look beautiful Flo.â
Her cheeks are then brought out more in these photos as they turn a light shade of pink from your compliment. Her nose scrunches up and she shows more teeth in her smile and it was one of the best photos you have ever taken. You pull the camera down from your face and lock eyes with her. You had this feeling in your stomach, absolute butterflies. You were falling for this random girl in a coffee shop you had just met that apparently just so happened to also be a movie star. You moved back towards her and she leaned towards you a little and the two of you were extremely close to one another's faces.
âAre you guys all done with these?â A waitress asked pointing to your mugs and plates causing you two to practically jump backwards from one another.
âUh, yeah, yes, sorry, yes please take them.â You say.
She grabs your plates and as she walks away the two of you make eye contact and just burst out laughing from mild embarrassment.
The two of you exchange contact information and Florence walks you back to your hotel around the corner.
âWell y/n, it was lovely meeting you and I canât wait to do work with you in the future. Oh, and I will be sure to pass your information along to Zach too.â
âThanks so much, Flo and it was great to meet you tooâŠsorry again for not recognizing you.â
She just chuckles. âItâs no problem. As I said, Iâm just a girl you met in a coffee shop.â
A warm smile comes across your face as she leans in to hug you goodbye.
You head back up to your room and as you open the door you were feeling absolutely love-struck like you were floating in your own world.
âSo, where are our coffees?â You hear one of your friends say.
âShitâ Sorry guys.â
The two of them just look at you with the most exhausted expressions.
âIf itâs any consolation, I think I just met the love of my life.â You say.
They both perk up with interest as you sit down and explain to them everything that happened. Once you were done, they both decided to go and get ready as your phone binged. You look down to see a newly added contact pop up.
âHey, itâs Flo! It really was lovely meeting you today, I hope that we can meet up again in New York and maybe not just for work or coffee next time? ;) p.s. Send me the pic you took of me!! Your work needs to be shared with the world!â
Reading this text brought all the butterflies back to your stomach. You couldnât wait for the adventure that awaited you when you got home.
